Blade: A Steel Paragons MC Novel (The Coast: Book 11)

by Hart, Eve R.

  A huge part of me just wanted to steamroll her and start talking, not even give her the chance to let those doubts or whatever slip out of her mouth.

  But it was the smaller part of me that I listened to.

  The part that said she needed to have her voice heard no matter how fuckin’ wrong she was.

  “You got something to say,” I said trying to sit up even more. Didn’t go so well, in case you were wondering. But it did have her rushing to my side in a panic so I’d say it was worth the discomfort. “Say it. I’m listening. Not saying that I’m going to agree with you or that I’m going to keep quiet with my opinion, but I want to hear what you have to say.”

  She blinked at me. I wasn’t sure, but I thought I saw a little moisture building up in her eyes. I didn’t know what the fuck to do with that so I reached for her hand and held it as gently as I could without seeming patronizing.

  “This has been, fuck, a lot,” she said blowing out a breath as her head fell back and her gaze went to the ceiling. “I’m clearly not in a place to be in a relationship. Not saying that you want one. But even sex, well, I don’t know.”

  Her shoulder shrugged and I got her eyes telling me she didn’t feel sorry about it. Which she shouldn’t have. I liked that she didn’t. It showed me that she had come a lot farther than she thought herself. Of course, this wasn’t the time to point it out because she wouldn’t see it that way right now.

  I knew where her head was at. I knew what she was stuck thinking about. And I knew she was beating herself up over things she couldn’t control and shouldn’t feel bad about.

  “Okay,” I told her keeping my gaze locked on hers.

  “Okay?” She shook her head like she wasn’t sure she heard me right. “What does that even mean? Should I go? I swear to God, Blade, you are the hardest person to read sometimes. No, like, all the fucking time.”

  “Women talk too much,” I told her and let out a short sigh. “Make it simple, Sweet Cheeks. You like me, but you aren’t sure if you should, yeah? You’re still lost in the shit you’ve been through?”

  “Yes,” she said with a roll of her eyes and a light tint of pink creeping up on her cheeks. “I like you, okay?! I don’t know why, you’re not even nice most of the time I’ve been around you. You say nothing and make me second guess myself after I walk away. And you grunt a lot. Which shouldn’t be sexy, but it is when you do it. However, I don’t speak man-grunt, so I can’t decipher what each one means. Which is just super frustrating!”

  She turned her back and walked a few steps away.

  I said nothing, letting her have the space to gather her thoughts.

  I wasn’t like that fucker. I’d never be. But tellin’ her that wouldn’t do any good. She had to see it. Had to figure it out on her own.

  “You’re scary and big. And, just really fucking scary.”

  “You said scary twice,” I told her and held my smile back.

  “Well, you are,” she said turning to me again and waving her hand at me. “But then I see you with Biscuit and how you didn’t come after me when I stabbed you… both times. And I never thought I’d feel safe around a man ever again, but I know you’d never do anything to hurt me.”

  “Never,” I told her honestly.

  “Which I want to believe but there is something in my head that keeps holding onto this fear. Like what if you just snap one day and I’m the only one in the room?”

  “Won’t happen,” I assured her.

  “I think that our encounters have only proved that we won’t work together. I need someone that talks. That tells me things and doesn’t just stare at me, making me feel uncomfortable and awkward.”

  “I talk,” I grunted.

  “No, you grunt.” She pointed as if that somehow proved her point. “I am the type of woman that needs to occasionally be told she’s beautiful. That my hair looks nice. Or I smell good. Or whatever. I’m not saying all the time, but every now and then, some reassurance and a boost of confidence would be nice.”

  “I like your ass,” I responded and by the way her face fell, I guessed that hadn’t been the right thing to say. “Well, I do. And I don’t even feel bad about it.”

  “Blade.” This time my name came off her tongue sounding frustrated.

  “No, you talked, now it’s my turn.” Her mouth snapped shut but I could see the shock in her eyes. “The first thing I saw was your ass. And you know what I thought?” She shook her head. “That is an ass worth marrying. That is the ass that I want to fuck every day for the rest of my life. Might not be the sweetest thing to say, but it’s the fucking truth. Then I got a look at the rest of you and I was done. Got that waist I can grab onto. Those tits I can smother myself in. And, my fuck, that hair. Red hair is my goddamn weakness and you are the best package I’ve ever laid eyes on.”

  She cocked her head to the side as if trying to decide if she’d heard everything that came out of my mouth right.

  I waited, giving her a minute to really take in and process what the fuck I’d said. I knew with women they sometimes tended to hear and latch onto the shit you weren’t trying to say. But give them a minute and they’ll get it.

  “Now, you’ve already admitted that you like me. You can’t take that back.” I gave her a small twitch of my lips. “The only thing that’s messing you up is that you aren’t sure how I feel. I’ve said it. You heard it. But on the off chance you didn’t really listen to my words, I’m gonna spell it out for you. Ever since I saw you, there has been no other woman on this fucking planet. I know they’re there, I just don’t see them. You are the only one. There isn’t anyone else for me but you, Sweet Cheeks.”

  “I—” Her head shook yet again. “I honestly don’t know how to respond to that.”

  “That’s okay. I’ll be waiting when you figure it all out.”

  “Figure what out, exactly?”

  “That I’m your man,” I said and gave her a true smile. “That you’re stuck with me now.”

  “You are insane.”

  “Yeah, probably.”

  “But maybe that does it for me,” she said with the cutest sigh.

  I reached out and snagged her wrist, ignoring the zips of pain that shot all over my body as I pulled her closer to me.

  “Got a shit-ton of boo-boos, need a kiss to make it better,” I said sliding my hand around the back of her neck.

  “This is a bad idea,” she said but her face was coming closer to mine even as those words finished coming out of her sexy mouth.

  “Yeah, probably,” I agreed again. “Gonna make all the blood go to my dick and then he’s gonna want some attention.”

  “I’m not—” Those were the only words she got off before I took her mouth with mine.

  She melted into me instantly.

  Yeah, this felt right and she damn well knew it.

  Reluctantly, I let her go, keeping the kiss fuckin’ PG. I didn’t even know I could do that but I figured it was for the best.

  “We clear now?” I asked but didn’t really sound like I was asking.

  “I think so?” She gave a little shrug. She got me enough to know what I was saying and that was good enough for now.

  “I’m gonna get out of here, take a few days to heal up, then I’m gonna fuck you.”

  “Oh, well, that is…”

  “And you aren’t going to get lost in your head. You aren’t going to think about anyone else but me. I’m gonna prove to you that you’re ready for it and more importantly, that you want it.”

  She didn’t answer me, not with words. But the little nod of her head told me everything I needed to know. She trusted me enough to at least try. And, well, that was all I’d ever ask from her.

  “Fuck yeah,” I breathed out with a smile and let my heavy head fall back against the scratchy pillow. “Gotta nap now, babe.”

  “Okay,” I heard her finally say as my lids lost their fight to stay open.

  Then I felt her settle on the bed beside me and I knew she wasn’
t going anywhere. Yep, she was mine. Might even finally see it now.

  And damn if I didn’t fade away with a smile pulling at my lips.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  Blade

  Iron held off on the talk until they got me back to the compound. Getting to my room was a bitch, but I was determined to make it up the stairs even if I had to have help. Which I did because I couldn’t put weight on my leg for fear of ripping the stitches or some shit.

  I didn’t think it was that bad. That said, everyone was making it out like it was. I wanted to remind them that I’d been through worse, but thought it was best not to bring all that shit up.

  Harley came back to the compound. Between her place still being a mess and everything she was feeling inside, she decided it was for the best. She even agreed to stay with me in my room. I let her come to that decision on her own, knowing she didn’t need me pushing her.

  I was fuckin’ thrilled though, let me tell you.

  I might not have been able to do all the things I wanted to do to her right now, but having her close was enough.

  We had a long road, I knew that much.

  I had to learn to open up a little. Say more of the things that were on my mind. It wasn’t that I didn’t think she was beautiful. It wasn’t like I didn’t notice her hair and all the work she put into her makeup and shit. Or how hot she looked in everything she wore. It was that I wasn’t the type of person to say that shit out loud. But I figured since I already thought it, I was at least halfway there. I just had to let her know I saw how goddamn amazing she was— and I wasn’t just talking about her looks.

  And yeah, I realized that not every comment could be about how much I loved her ass. I wasn’t that damn dense when it came to women.

  As for her, well, she had to learn to trust that I would never hurt her. That I’d always be there for her because I wanted to be.

  There were other things, too, and I knew it wouldn’t be easy.

  But I didn’t think it would be that hard either. We simply had to learn to read the other.

  “Abigail, can you take Harley down to the kitchen and get her some food?” Iron asked and I knew the moment had come. Not that I was trying to put it off.

  There might have been one thing I’d been keeping from him.

  One big thing which I was starting to feel like shit about.

  I guess all I could do now was own up to it and hope he wouldn’t be too mad at me.

  “What the hell happened?” he asked as he grabbed the seat at my desk and turned it around so he could sit and face me. The one I hardly used and often wondered why the fuck I had a desk in here anyway.

  “Where do you want me to start?” I asked trying to shift lightly and get comfortable.

  “Who is the woman?”

  “My future baby momma,” I told him trying to lighten the mood.

  However, it was the truth and thinking of her all pregnant with my kid didn’t help to make this situation any better. For some fucked up reason, it did something to me. Something I’d never experienced before, that was for damn sure.

  Because thinking about it didn’t give me the feeling that I needed to run.

  No, not even close.

  My blood pumped through my veins like fire and suddenly I couldn’t wait to make it happen.

  And seeing that image in my head, the future that could happen, made the hell I’d had to crawl through worth it.

  I placed my hands on my lap to try and cover up the fact that my dick was hard thinking about Harley knocked up. A move that wasn’t missed by my Prez.

  “Fuck,” he breathed out while his hand came up to run over his beard.

  “Yep,” I said proudly knowing exactly what he was thinking.

  “You know who her uncle is?” he asked like he knew and let me tell you, he didn’t sound so happy.

  Well, there it was, I guess I didn’t need to figure out how to slip it in there now. How the hell did he know that though? My only guess is that somehow Harley had told him unknowing how it was between the club and her uncle.

  “I do,” I said with a nod. “And I want to tell you all about it.”

  He nodded, letting me have the floor.

  So I told him about how I found out. Told him how I broke into Detective Mullins’ house and waited for him to come home. There was a slight smirk on his face for that part of the story but I didn’t stop to figure out why.

  Then I told him about what had happened to Harley. Filled him in on all the shit that fucking ex of hers did to her. Hearing it caused his face to turn into a mask of stone. I bet he was wishing he could bring that fucker back to life and kill him all over again. Most likely, the same shit that was going through my mind right now.

  After I was done, I waited for him to hit me with how disappointed and pissed he was with me. I couldn’t imagine he’d be happy knowing I’d kept shit from him and also went behind his back to see the detective. And now I’d gotten us mixed up with his niece, covering up a crime, and tossing a body that was connected to her. If we were lucky, no one would miss him. That said, I had a feeling we weren’t gonna be so lucky on this one. And the first place they’d come looking would be wherever Harley was.

  “Do I need to worry about her being around my men?” he asked me with a raised brow. It was the slight smirk tipping up the corner of his lips that told me he was playing around. “Don’t really want to have to deal with another one of you gettin’ stabbed.”

  I let out a chuckle, relieved that he wasn’t too pissed.

  I felt like he was letting me off a little too easily but I’d keep my mouth shut and take it.

  “Pretty sure it’s just me she likes to stab,” I joked back.

  “Whatever this is should be over with him gone and all? She should be safe now?”

  “Yeah,” I said with a nod. “Just have to worry about the detective and whatever shit that fucker left behind. Know his dad is a judge, that’s how he was in less than three years for that shit.”

  My vision went a little hazy thinking about those pictures. I wished I’d never seen them because it was killing me to know that she had to go through all that. Made it even worse that I cared for her. It felt like putting him in the ground wasn’t nearly enough.

  “I’m not sure how we are goin’ to keep this from Mullins,” he said looking like he was trying to plan for the shit-storm that was coming our way.

  “He’s been on the fence before. Needed our help and all that,” I reminded him. I knew the detective had a heart in there somewhere when he was trying to save a bunch of homeless kids from getting snatched up and sold. He’d run out of leads and ideas, and came to us wanting our help. Not the kind of help where we bring him the man that was responsible either. The kind where we ended it for good. “Maybe this being his niece and all, he’ll look the other way.”

  “You think? You don’t think he wants to get some justice of his own? See this guy put behind maximum security or something?”

  “No,” I said, looking him dead in the eye. “I think he’s real fucking good at his job. I think when I started asking him questions about Harley he knew right away the real reason I was there. Probably before I even did. And he showed me those pictures not because he had to, but because in the back of his mind, he wanted me to take care of it my way.”

  “He has something on you?” Iron asked, his eyes narrowing in my direction. Somehow he’d caught onto that in what I’d just said. I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised.

  Yeah, the detective did. Had something on me I never wanted to get out. Not even my club knew about it. Which I realized was shit. Back then I didn’t trust them so much, and it took me until recently to realize that this was my family. But was it too late to fix a lie? Not sure Iron would want me around if he knew all the things I’d done. All the shit I’d been through.

  But it was time.

  Time to unload my sins on someone and hope they cared enough about me to help me carry them. Time to see that this br
otherhood and loyalty shit wasn’t just all for show. Either this would prove to me that the club really did have my back no matter what, or it would show me what I’d feared all along— that there wasn’t really a place for me in this world.

  “Grew up in a shit neighborhood,” I started, my whole body feeling rigid and my chest tight. “Mom was a good girl until she got caught up in some bad shit. Got pregnant with me and it all went downhill for her from there. She was good to me though. My dad found out and wanted to do the right thing. Wasn’t such a bad guy except for the fact that he was a drug runner for a local gang. North Corner Crew might have been local but they weren’t small.”

  It wasn’t obvious but I could tell he was a little shocked hearing all this. Not a single thing about my young life had been found when Cable did my background check. And I couldn’t blame Cable for that because my past was supposed to be wiped out of existence. That boy was long gone, dead and buried as far as most people were concerned. So he didn’t even know to look for something that wasn’t there.

  But somehow the detective had been able to track that shit down. The hints he tossed at me that night were enough to tell me he knew more than he should. Wasn’t sure how and maybe I didn’t want to know.

  I guessed it didn’t really matter now seeing as everyone was dead.

  Oh, yeah.

  I suppose I should get to that part.

  “Long story short. My dad got into some shit that they wouldn’t let go. Tortured my dad to death right in front of my mom and me. Killed my mom when she wouldn’t stop screaming. And left nine-year-old me there crying in their blood.”

  Iron blinked at me a couple of times. I hadn’t gone into details, but I was sure he had a graphic enough image in his head.

  “Went to stay with my aunt. Didn’t know her at all and wasn’t happy about it.” I gave a shrug. “Some DEA agent got wind of what happened and thought he could use it to take down North Corner Crew. Wanted to use me, testify and all that shit since I’d seen their faces and knew the men by name.”