Nash

by Dale Mayer

  At the rabbit’s cage Alicia looked at Hoppers, shook her head, and said, “My, he’s big.” With a little bit of help, they opened the side door and let Eggie in. She immediately galloped over to where Hoppers was, the two of them exchanged sniffs, and then Hoppers just flopped to the side and munched away on the grass.

  “Well, that means he’s comfortable,” Stan said. “Not sure about Eggie though.”

  But the little horse ran back and forth, checking out the sides of her pen and then started to eat beside Hoppers.

  “You know what? It might not be a bad answer for the moment,” Dani said, “but you’re right. I think we need to consider more pens.”

  “Something I’ll have to work into the budget.”

  “It also depends,” Alicia said, “if you have one or two of the miniatures?”

  “I know. That’ll always be a problem because it seems like I always have more long-term animals.”

  “I don’t think that’ll change anytime soon,” Stan said.

  She smiled and said, “No.”

  At that, Alicia backed away and said, “Hey, look. I’ll head back up, finish my work, and then I’ll take off.”

  “I hope you have a great weekend.”

  With a hand wave, she turned, raced across the pool area, up the stairs to the deck, and came face-to-face, almost crashing into Nash. She stopped and smiled. “I could have knocked you over,” she said. “I’m so sorry.”

  “You can knock me over any time,” he joked. “Where are you off to in such a rush?”

  “Dani called me to take a look at Eggie down there.”

  “Eggie?”

  She explained and pointed down to the miniature, now in the pen with Hoppers.

  “She’s adorable,” he said.

  “I know. And now I’m off early today and heading home for the weekend.” She caught his frown. “What’s the matter?”

  He shrugged. “That’s the thing. You still get to leave, don’t you?” he said. “I’m stuck.”

  “Well, you might get to join a day trip, if that’s something you want,” she said. “Otherwise, yeah, I’ll see you on Monday.” And then impulsively she reached out, gave him the gentlest hug, and said, “Stay safe. I’ll be back soon.” And she turned and walked away.

  He looked after her and smiled, calling back, “Got anything planned?”

  “No,” she said, “not really. Laundry and shopping, a few basics like that.”

  “No hot date?”

  Her footsteps slowed, and she turned and then all of a sudden approached him. “No,” she said, shoving her hands in her pockets. “Looking after my brother for all those years didn’t do anything for my social life.”

  “No, but that was a while ago,” he said. “Surely you’ve had relationships since then?”

  She looked at him for a long moment and then said, “No, I really haven’t. I haven’t had a serious relationship since you.” She leaned forward, kissed him gently on the cheek, and said, “And what a note to leave on.” She turned and walked away.

  Nash wanted to call after her, to get her back, so that he could hug her and kiss her properly. But she had left him with such a bombshell that he wasn’t even sure what to say. And then Dennis walked in front of him with a tray full of the weirdest concoctions. Nash looked at them, shook his head, and said, “What the devil?”

  “Something new Ilse’s trying, experimenting with,” he said. “These are ice cream shakes, but they’re made with protein powder and nutritional supplements and fresh strawberries and …”

  “You got me at ice cream,” Nash said, as he snagged one. “Are we drinking these or scooping these?”

  “I brought spoons too,” he said, and, with that, Dennis moved off, leaving Nash with this tall pink frothy thing.

  At his first swallow, he moaned in delight. He made his way to the elevator, took it down, and walked over to where the pool was. He should have a swim. He had Shane’s session left for today, and he was in his swim shorts, hoping that maybe it would work out that way. But that didn’t mean that Shane had the same idea as Nash did. As he sat here, fifteen minutes before his appointment, he finished the pink concoction and sent Dennis a quick text. Delicious. Put it on the menu.

  He got a happy face back.

  Then he heard Shane’s voice. “Did you get one of Ilse’s new drinks?”

  Nash looked up at him and grinned. “I sure did. It was delicious,” he said.

  “You know what?” he said. “I’ve been handing out green drinks, and everybody gives me nothing but guff. She hands out something with the same amount of nutritional value, and you’re all moaning and smiling.”

  “You mean, I could have been having one of these, instead of those green drinks of yours the whole time?” Nash cried out in mock outrage.

  Shane grinned at him. “Mine are like medicine. You don’t want to take them, but you know it’s good for you.”

  “But,” Nash said with a grin, as he motioned at the parfait glass beside him, “hers are good for me and taste delicious.”

  “I don’t know how, but she’s just magic in the kitchen. So, is this a hint?” Shane waved at the pool.

  “Well, I would love to have our session in the pool,” he said. “I did, however, just finish that big glass of basically ice cream.”

  “So,” he said. “Your stomach might not handle too much heavy physical work right now. Is that what you’re trying to tell me?”

  “Maybe.”

  “Well, let’s start with a warm-up,” he said. “Then we’ll get into the hot tub and loosen you up some more and afterward do some yoga stretches. I’ve been wanting to work on your flexibility anyway, so this will be a good chance to see how far you’ve come.”

  “Or not,” he said. “The fact that I can even walk is amazing.”

  “Yet you’re still in the wheelchair all the time,” Shane said. “Why?”

  “Mostly because I’m afraid of overdoing it and getting too tired and not getting back to my room on my own.”

  “Well, that might be a good point when it comes to our sessions,” he said. “So long as you’re not using it as a crutch here or otherwise, then fine.”

  “Yes, sir,” he said with a mock salute.

  Shane rolled his eyes and said, “Into the water, you.”

  Nash stood from the wheelchair, walked carefully toward the water, kicked off his slip-on shoes, and literally fell forward into the water. As soon as the cool refreshing water ran over his head, he let himself sink to the bottom. He just loved floating, loved that freedom, that feeling of letting himself go and sinking, complete weightlessness.

  When he did surface, Shane shook his head. “Enough games,” he said. “Twenty laps on your own.”

  And, with that, Nash rolled over and struck out with a strong stroke. Something he couldn’t have done one month ago. It seemed as if he had had no progress for such a long time, but now he was doing so much better, and it was addictive. By the time he finished his laps, he wanted to keep going. He stopped when Shane called out, and Nash came back, his breathing barely even struggling.

  “Wow,” Shane said. “You’re doing really good now.”

  “It seems like the progress, once started, just keeps getting better and better.”

  “Think about the amount of energy to get a train to move,” Shane said. “But, once it’s moving, it propels itself forward faster and better than you ever thought possible. The problem is always trying to get that engine moving in the first place.”

  “Well, I’m very grateful,” Nash said, “that I’m moving now.”

  “And now we must ensure that we direct that energy properly,” he said. “Let’s not burn through that energy wastefully. Let’s make good use of it.”

  “Tell me what I need to do next then.”

  “We’ll turn you into a pretzel,” he said with a big grin.

  And by the time Nash had done the yoga stances and stretches that Shane had suggested, Nash was quite surpr
ised at how inflexible he was and at how much Shane expected, but Nash couldn’t do. Yet.

  “You know what? I thought I was doing really well,” he said. “But now, after this …”

  “You still are doing great,” he said. “But it always amazes me, when I see progress on one level, how the progress doesn’t always transfer over to another level.”

  “I guess. It’s also kind of depressing to see how far I still have to go.”

  Shane smiled and said, “Lots of guys can’t do these yoga bends. Just because you can’t now doesn’t mean you won’t later or that everyone else can do this. I’m just glad that you got as far as you did.”

  “I am too,” he said. “It’s still a big surprise though.”

  “Yogis,” he said, “have an incredible ability that is often not appreciated. Their ability to bend and twist and move puts all of us to shame. I’m not looking to turn you into a yogi, but I hope to get you more flexible, so, when you do fall, your body will twist, will use its reflexes properly. When you get up from sitting on the ground, that your body doesn’t cry out in pain.”

  “I can see that is very practical in life,” he said. “And it’s much appreciated.”

  “You’ll also be more comfortable, in less pain,” he said.

  Nash rolled his eyes at that. “Great, tomorrow’s a day off though. Remember that.”

  “Good,” Shane said. “Remember. You have access to pool tables, movies, all kinds of ways to enjoy your time off.”

  “You reminded me that I’ve got a good book. I might just sit here at the pool and waste away to nothing.”

  “Sounds like a plan.”

  Chapter 10

  Monday dawned, bright and clear. As Alicia walked into Hathaway House, all she could think about was that she got to see Nash today and that she could give him the gift she had picked up for him over the weekend. The surprise was a small gesture but reminded her so much of what she and he had been like before. She had been accustomed to picking him up gifts back then too. It was just her way, but it seemed like a long time since she had done it for anybody else.

  No, she said thoughtfully. That’s not quite true because I used to pick up a bunch of stuff for my brother too.

  But then he got sicker, to the point of being really sick, and it bothered him that she was “wasting money” on him. And the fact that it bothered him then bothered her because she wanted to do it, and it had been a joy to do it. But, at the same time, it seemed to upset him because, well, he wouldn’t be here soon, and that item would. It had been touch-and-go on her own emotional system, dealing with his physical needs and his ever-changing moods at the same time. She had learned to deal with his emotions, but the lessons hadn’t been easy.

  That’s why, when she had been in the bookstore and had found a wall plaque, she had immediately picked it up. It was a picture of a seaman, almost a comical image pointing to a big rock that had a saying on it. Take each day as a gift.

  As she walked inside Hathaway House, she headed directly to her office, quickly took off her light sweater, fired up her computer, and logged in to see what awaited her.

  When she realized it was all looking pretty good, she checked her watch to find she was still five minutes early. So she grabbed her surprise, made a quick trip to the cafeteria, picked up a coffee, came back, swinging past his room. The door was open, and the room was empty. So she’d missed him somewhere, or he could have been already on the deck of the dining room, maybe for breakfast? So she propped the little plaque on its side, up against his iPad on the night table, then returned to her office.

  She forgot all about it, until she felt eyes on her later that morning. She looked up to see him leaning against the doorjamb, holding her gift in his hand. She smiled and said, “How did you know it was from me?”

  “Because it’s such a you thing,” he said simply. “Do you think I’ve forgotten all the times you brought me little things like this?”

  “You know something? When I bought it, it was automatic,” she said in a whimsical tone. “Because I used to do it for you, and then I stopped doing it, but now that I’ve met up with you again, I’m doing it again.”

  “Old habits?”

  “Good habits maybe,” she said. “In a way, it’s even better because you’re helping me to see my brother without such sadness anymore, and, at the same time, it reminds me that other things are in my life, that other people are in my life. So it’s all good. I hope you like it.”

  “I do like it,” he said, staring at it. “The message is very true.”

  “Absolutely.”

  “On the other hand,” he said, “I don’t have anything for you.”

  “Nothing is needed,” she said with a smile. “Those are the best gifts of all.” With that, she waved at him and said, “Go. Get back to work, I know you have a hard day, and I have a hard day, so move.” But she was laughing and joking.

  His face lit up in a grin. “I remember that too. You’d be busy doing something, and you’d shoo me away.”

  “Yep,” she said. “And we’d better stop there with remembrances because we could remember a lot of other things too.”

  “Like kisses in the moonlight and walks on the beach?”

  “Absolutely,” she said with a big grin. “Definitely not the time for that kind of talk.”

  “Says you,” he said. “I’m quite happy to discuss picking up where we left off.”

  “I don’t think that’ll work,” she said with a headshake.

  His smile immediately fell off.

  When the odd silence came, she looked up and said, “What did I say?”

  “Nothing,” he said, but his tone was different. He gave her a half smile and said, “I’m off to my next appointment.” And he turned and he left.

  She frowned at that, but Amanda, beside her, turned and said, “Did you mean to give him the brush-off like that?”

  “Did I?” Alicia asked in a puzzled tone.

  “Well, you basically told him that you weren’t prepared to pick up where you left off last time. I thought things were going pretty well between you.”

  She looked at her in surprise and said, “Well, they are, but I don’t want to go back to that. We split up because we wanted different things, and we’re different people now. We can’t go back to where we left things at.”

  “I don’t think he quite got that message,” Amanda said with a shake of her head. “It sounded more like you didn’t want to pick up at all.”

  “But that’s not what I meant,” she protested.

  “In that case,” Amanda said with a head tilt, “you’d better go make sure he understands that.”

  “But he’s got appointments now,” she said in dismay.

  “True, but I don’t think you can leave it muddled like that for too long. That was a definite brush-off.”

  “I hate that I just don’t know how to act anymore.”

  “So don’t act,” she said. “Just be yourself.”

  “But that’s what I was doing, being me,” she said. “And then, like you just said, … I messed up.”

  “I don’t think you messed up on a permanent basis,” she said. “I think it’s more a case where you need to make him feel better about where you’re going—or not going.” Amanda looked at Alicia for a long moment and added, “If you’re interested in going in that direction, the guys here are a little more emotionally delicate. They’ve already been damaged in many ways, so, if you’re not interested, don’t lead him down the path.”

  “I wouldn’t lead him down the path at all,” she said. “We’re old friends, and, yes, we were an item back then, and I would love to pick up and see where we can go now. I just didn’t want to go back down the same old path, the same old way.”

  “Then you can clarify that later with him,” she said. “No harm done.”

  But it bothered Alicia because maybe the harm had already been done. What had she been trying to say? She had heard the odd silence herself but hadn
’t understood. It also caught her off guard, as they’d been joking and laughing back and forth. Frowning, she made it through the rest of the day, but she was distracted.

  By the time her shift was over, she headed up his hallway, one she had passed a half-dozen times, seeing if he was in, hoping maybe she could get a moment to speak with him. But, every time she went, the door was closed, and she got no answer, or the door was open and the room empty. The patients had the right to leave their rooms open and empty or locked, and she knew a lot of guys didn’t care. But other people just liked to know that they had their own space and that nobody could get into it. It didn’t bother her either way. Only she didn’t want it to be obvious that she was tracking him down. But she couldn’t push this off to later either.

  Frustrated, she headed back to her office, grabbed her sweater, and said, “My day’s done.”

  “You’re getting dinner then?”

  “I still haven’t found Nash,” she said. “So it’s making my stomach churn, and I can’t eat until I settle that.”

  “I don’t know what session he’s at right now, but you could check his schedule.”

  She stopped, looked at Amanda, and said, “Why didn’t I think of that?” She sat down again, logged in, checked the schedule, and realized he was just coming from his shrink session. “Great,” she said. “It was the shrink right now.”

  “Well, maybe that’s a good thing,” she said.

  Alicia turned and walked out once again, wondering if it was a good time to talk to him or a bad time. But she knew that she wouldn’t sleep tonight if she couldn’t clear the air. She again headed to his room and leaned against the doorjamb and waited for him. Finally she heard footsteps behind her, and she turned to see him walking toward her, a frown on his face and a sense of withdrawal in his body language.

  As he approached, he nodded and said, “What’s up?”

  She asked, “May we talk inside?”

  He looked at her in surprise and stepped in. “I guess. What’s wrong?”

  “What I said earlier,” she said, “I wasn’t clear when I answered you. My answer made sense to me, but I wasn’t sure it worked for you.”