by Maddie James
A frantic expression raced across her face and she grasped his hand. “Oh, John. That’s not true. My life has never been better these past few weeks we’ve spent together. I can be patient. You know best about your kids.”
She searched his eyes, and John didn’t know what for, but he figured she needed some sort of reassurance from him. The one thing he did know, though, was that he had enjoyed every minute of the past two months spent with her.
“Yes. I do know them. And I also know me, and that I procrastinate sometimes on things that are important just because I don’t want to deal with them. My kids are fine. You’re right. I need to tell them about you and then we can go from there.”
She smiled and nodded. “One step at a time.”
John thought a moment. “Abby, there’s a BBQ and hayride out at the Carson ranch two weeks from tomorrow. My family and my friends will all be there. Would you like to come? Bring Luke too, if you want.”
“I would love that. But only if you are ready.”
He nodded. “I’ll be ready by then. Promise.”
“Okay.”
She leaned toward him and he gathered her into his arms.
Chapter Five
Buck agreed it would be better for Parker and Callie to meet Abby in a group setting. Tom and Sally thought so too. And the community hayride, according to them all, was perfect. The Carson’s held it every fall over at their ranch, and everyone pitched in with food, drinks, and entertainment. There was pumpkin carving for the children, music for all ages, and the hayride, of course. They’d not missed it in years, and John had finally reconciled the fact that it was as good a place as any for him to introduce the kids to Abby.
Except for the unexpected resistance on the home front, and the fact that he’d put off telling Callie. He had talked with Parker a week earlier—he appeared to take it fine—but who knew with teenage boys.
Now, he had to break the news to his daughter—if he could get passed the current argument.
“I don’t care about any stupid hayride. I’m not going.”
John stood in his daughter’s doorway, knowing he was about to lay down the law. Perhaps he should have done that months ago, but he couldn’t let this go any longer. His voice raised. “Calandra Rankin! Get up, get dressed, and get downstairs in five minutes. We go to the Carson’s BBQ every year and this year is no different.”
“Not me.”
John’s head ticked to the side. “All right. Then you’ll go as you are.” He stepped into the room, scooped his pajama-clad daughter into his arms, and headed for the hallway. “I’m sure some of your classmates will love to see your new pajamas.”
Callie shrieked. “Daddy! Put me down. No.”
He halted at the top of the stair and looked at his daughter. “Callie, I don’t have time for your shenanigans. Do you hear me? Tonight, we are doing this my way.” He set her down on the landing. “Now get back in your room and get dressed. I want you downstairs pronto. No more of this.”
Callie huffed and rolled her eyes, then trotted off, muttering. “I don’t really wanna meet your new girlfriend, Dad.”
Whoa. “Callie.”
She halted.
“What did you say?”
Rotating back, she stared at him. “I only have five minutes to get dressed, Dad.”
Dad? What happened to Daddy? “What did you say?”
Her shoulders rose and fell. “I said I don’t wanna meet your new girlfriend.” Then she turned and raced into her room, slamming the door behind her.
Shit.
This was a bad idea, all the way around.
Hell, he didn’t even know Callie knew anything about Abby.
Girlfriend?
He stepped forward with a firm rap on Callie’s door.
“I’m getting dressed,” she yelled out.
John lowered his hand. “I’ll be right here. Callie, we need to talk.”
He waited at least five minutes then she opened the door. John sighed and asked if he could come in. Callie stepped back, and he entered his daughter’s room. “Let’s sit.” He grasped Callie’s hand and pulled her along with him and they sat side-by-side on the bed.
John glanced to his daughter. She’d dressed in jeans, her favorite boots, and a western snap-front shirt. Standard wardrobe. “Thanks for getting dressed,” he told her. “You’ve been up here in your room all day. I want you to eat something before we go. I’m worried about you not eating.”
Callie exhaled and reached to the top drawer of her bedside table and pulled it open. John spied the contents, then looked to his daughter. She shrugged and grinned back. The drawer was full of half-eaten bags and boxes of snack foods.
“Well, that explains the missing items from the pantry. But you need to eat more than snacks.”
She shrugged her shoulders again.
“Callie…”
“I ate something.”
“All right.” He would fight that battle another day. He turned her way. “But look, we need to talk. Seriously talk, Callie. Look at me.”
She didn’t immediately but then John lifted her chin with his forefinger to bring her gaze to his. Her mouth turned up on one corner. “Okay.”
“You know I loved your mama more than my own life,” he said. “And you know I love you just as much. None of that is ever going to change.”
She nodded. “I know that, Daddy.”
“But we have to move forward, honey. Your mama isn’t here anymore—not her body anyway—but her soul and her memories are all around us. And everything she was for us, and with us, while she was on earth—well, we just need to keep all of that in our hearts every single day. We still must live our lives, Callie. Your mama would want you to be happy.”
She sniffed and rubbed a finger underneath her nose. “I know.”
“Callie, no one, ever, will replace your mama in my heart. Or in yours.”
She nodded. “But you have a girlfriend.”
“And how did you hear about that?”
“Kris.”
He arched a brow. “How is that?”
“She heard you and her dad talking in the barn and she told me.”
So that was it. “All right.” He shifted so he could really look into her eyes. “Callie, I’m dating someone. That only means we are going out to dinner occasionally, a movie, having some fun. We enjoy each other’s company. I don’t know if there will be anything else.”
“Are you going to marry her?”
“Too soon to tell. I have no plans to marry anyone right now, Callie. All I want to do tonight is let you meet her. Maybe you’ll feel better if you do.”
She shrugged. “Maybe.”
****
An hour later John found himself watching the dirt road leading back to the Carson’s Ranch for Abby’s small SUV. He’d managed to get Callie and Parker out of the house—a little later than planned, but at least they were there. He’d even made potato salad that afternoon and baked brownies—and managed to get their contributions to the food tables without incident.
Times like these he appreciated Annie, and all she had done over the years getting ready for family outings like this, and get-togethers at the ranch. He sometimes wondered if he’d ever acknowledged all she did, day after day. Had he ever told her how much he appreciated her?
Surely he had. But now, he couldn’t recall a single time. He sure hoped she never thought he was taking advantage of her. She never complained. Not one time. Always took everything in stride.
Well, he did his best by her, and he hoped that was enough. Maybe he learned some lessons he could apply to the future.
That remained to be seen.
His brownies might not be the best ever made, and he was sure the potato salad had too much mustard, but he’d made the effort and was pleased, enough with the end products. Callie had even perked up on the ride over, carried the brownies to the dessert table, and of course, then disappeared with Kris and her other friends.
Good.
She’d be fine, he was certain.
Abby was late. He hoped everything was okay.
His gaze scanned the crowd again and settled on his son. He smiled as he watched him roughhousing with his friends near the barn and immediately wondered where the years had gone. Seemed only yesterday he, himself, was the sixteen-year-old, roughhousing with Tom and their friend, Cody Reynolds. The threesome had been a rowdy group and got into more trouble than he liked to remember.
Cody was the wild card. His death hit him and Tom hard. The drunk driver had been Cody, himself, and he took out half a family with him, driving too many miles over the speed limit on a back road, with too many whiskey sours inside him.
Cody’s death devastated his young wife, Savannah, leaving her behind with their two young boys, Gage and Murphy. The whole thing was tragic. But no more tragic than Savannah resorting to alcohol to get through the day-to-day, and other addictions to support her children over the next few years. That’s when Tom and John stepped in and convinced Savannah to let Tom and Sally adopt Gage. But she just couldn’t give up Murphy, telling them that it would be easier for her to handle one child. She’d disappear from time to time, and when she did, all everyone could do was pray the boy was safe—then more recently, they’d found out that Murphy had been removed from Savannah’s home and placed in foster care.
Where? John had no clue. He wished he knew. He’d take the boy in himself if he could find him.
Movement to his right pulled him out of his contemplation. He smiled as Abby stepped out of her vehicle, then reached back inside for a dish. Her son, Luke, rounded the truck with a bag of chips in his hands.
Abby approached him, smiling, and his heart swelled. He moved toward her and took the dish out of her hands as he leaned in to place a quick kiss on her cheek. He pulled back and she looked up into his eyes, and his chest felt full with his ever-expanding heart.
“You are a sight for sore eyes,” he told her.
Abby smiled wider and her eyes twinkled. “It’s good to see you, John.”
“I’m so glad you are here.” And he was. He felt alive, again, for the first time in months. “Let’s get this food over to the table.”
But before he stepped away, he remembered Luke. Juggling the dish, he put out his hand. “This handsome young man must be Luke,” he said.
Luke beamed and shook John’s hand. “Yes sir,” he said. “Nice to meet you.”
“And you, too.” John glanced about. “I’m sure glad you came here with your mama. There’s a passel of kids around here, somewhere.”
Luke’s eyes were already moving over the crowd. He turned to his mother. “Mama, I think I see someone I know over there. Can I go?”
Abby took the chips out of his hand. “Go. Shoo!”
Then Luke was off, and John turned to Abby and looked deep into her eyes again. “I’ve missed you something awful this week.”
Her upturned face and happy smile were nearly his undoing. “I don’t think I could have made it through another day, John.”
When the hayride was finished, and everyone’s bellies were full, the evening quieted into dusk with a bonfire and singing. Cowboys and guitars and lonesome, soulful songs of the west filled the night. Abby leaned into John as they sat on a log near the fire, and he put his arms around her. They were somewhat isolated from the rest of the crowd, and he liked the fact that they were getting a little alone time after this hectic day.
“Cold?”
“No. This is perfect,” she said.
John let the moment sink in. It had been a wonderful late afternoon and evening. He had enjoyed Abby’s company so much, and she had fallen right in with his friends and their wives. Of course, they’d only had glimpses of Callie the past few hours, and he had a feeling she was avoiding him. Parker had met Abby earlier and was amiable and polite, if not a little awkward. He supposed that was to be expected.
The boy was quiet and kept to himself at home, most of the time. Maybe more so since Annie had died. Or he was out on the ranch on his horse. He sure hoped his quietness wasn’t as much of a red flag as Callie’s rebellion.
“Seen the kids lately?” Abby asked.
John cleared his throat. “Parker’s over there with the teenagers. Last I saw of Luke he was tagging along behind with them. Callie? I’m not so sure.”
“Yes, Luke is idolizing those older boys. Of course, they are all into rodeo and you know he’s all about that. His father, and all.”
“Of course.”
“I saw Callie a few minutes ago,” Abby added. “She was at the dessert table with a couple of girls. I did say a quick hello, but she turned and fled. And then…” she paused and pointed. “Oh, there she is, sitting on that hay wagon over there.”
John squinted beyond the fire. Yes, there was his girl, sitting in the middle of a string of girls her age on the wagon, swinging their legs and watching the boys.
“I do want you to officially meet her before we leave,” he said.
“I’m looking forward to it, but if it doesn’t happen today, John, let’s not push it.” She turned slightly, so she could look into his face, “I think it’s important that we just meet soon. Nothing more. No expectations. I don’t want her to ever think I’m trying to take her mother’s place.”
John put his finger on Abby’s lips. “Sh… I understand. I know you would never, but Callie can be unpredictable, I want you to know that.”
She nodded. “That’s for another time.” She sat up then and turned to face him. “But there is a conversation you and I are going to have to have soon. And, with all of our children at some point not long after that.”
She bit her lip, and her mood flipped a switch.
A queasy sensation hit John’s gut and abruptly, he knew something was wrong. “Abby, what is it?”
She sighed and her shoulders dropped. “I feel like such a damn fool. I should have known better.”
That alarmed him. “Known better how?”
She searched his face for a long moment. “John, we need to talk. Probably now is not the best of times, but soon. There is something serious we need to discuss.”
Hell. She was breaking up with him. He shouldn’t have gotten so attached. Had she and Luke’s father gotten back together? Surely not. Maybe she met someone else. Maybe she realized he’s just a middle-aged, lonely man who has nothing to offer.
“Abby, are you trying to tell me you don’t want to see me?”
She held his gaze then pushed out a breath. “No, John. I’m not. I can’t imagine not seeing you.”
“Then what?”
Her lips clamped shut tight and she perused his face.
“Abby…”
Taking a deep breath, Abby closed her eyes and exhaled. Then blinking them open again, she said quickly, “John, I’m pregnant.”
Stunned, he stared at her. “Pregnant?”
“Yes.”
“You’re sure.”
“I’m positive.”
“A baby.”
“Yes, that’s generally the result of pregnancy.”
John cleared his throat and stood, taking a few steps away and staring off for a few heartbeats into the fire. “Hell, I’m too old for this. What the…”
Then he whirled back and looked at Abby’s scared face. “Hell, Abby. I’m sorry. Are you okay? How long have you known? I didn’t mean to be so damn insensitive.”
She stood and took a step toward him. “I’m fine. I’ve a little more time to process this than you.”
“So, you’ve known a while?”
“Two days.”
“Why didn’t you call me?”
It was her turn to glance off this time. After a moment, she looked back. “I needed the time to think, John. I knew I would see you this weekend.”
He reached for her hands, then without further thought, blurted out, “Then we’ll get married. Soon. I’ll get on that tomorrow.”
Abby pulled her hands away. “Get on that? Great.” She narrowed her
gaze. “Because it’s the right thing to do?”
“Well, of course, Abby.”
Closing her eyes, she blew out a long breath. “I think not, John Rankin.”
Chapter Six
John stood on the bed of the pickup truck, broke open a bale of hay, and threw half of it out the back to the ground. The cattle made a line following the truck, some waiting for their feed, others slowly chewing as they pulled the grass into their mouths. Buck drove slowly as John continued to bust bales and push the hay out for the animals. Down the hill, Parker and one of the ranch hands were doing the same thing, feeding another row of cows.
A crisp whip of wind blew his collar up and teased at this hat. Soon they’d be doing this in colder weather and snow.
He didn’t look forward to it. The older he got, the more he disliked feeding in the winter, but he’d get out and do it if his bones would let him. An idle cowboy was not a healthy cowboy.
Winters were hard on the ranch, but the cattle needed fed. Every day. The mamas needed nourishment for the babies that would come in the spring.
Babies in the spring.
Buck slowed the truck and John stood up, looking out over the ranch, not really seeing anything. By his rough calculations, he and Abby would have a baby of their own, maybe late May or early June.
He wished he knew exactly what was going on. She refused to talk to him.
Oh, he had tried. He’d called, and she’d politely said she couldn’t talk right then. He’d stopped by twice, but she didn’t answer the door, although he knew she was home, her SUV parked outside. Lately she’d not picked up the phone either.
Women! He was not good at understanding them. Once he’d understood how Annie ticked, he hadn’t had to worry about other women. How had he screwed up with Abby? He thought he’d done the right thing, saying they would get married. It was the honorable thing, and well, dammit, even more than that, it was what he wanted.
He’d fallen head over heels in love with her. A new baby would just be icing on the cake. He wanted to take care of her and their child. All their children.
Yet, he could understand her reasoning. Her hesitation. She wasn’t just taking on him, she was taking on a whole new family and a ranch. And the first time she’d married, it hadn’t turned out so well.
