by Maddie James
A blended family. Could they do it?
Was he too old to start over? How did she even feel about that?
Buck came to a full stop and John jumped down from the tailgate. He brushed hay from his clothes, and then moved toward the cab. Buck got out and faced him. “Penny for your thoughts, boss. You were looking mighty contemplative there, a few seconds ago.”
John stood, hands on hips, and stared at the ground. “I’ll never understand women, Buck.”
He glanced up to see Buck rear back and cackle. “You think any of our species understands them?”
John blew out a breath and watched it fan out on the cold breeze. “Yeah. You’re right. Let’s head back to the house.”
He turned to round the truck for the other side, but Buck put out a hand to stop him. “John. Hold up a minute.”
John rotated back to look his friend square in the eyes. Buck continued, “You’ve been mighty quiet the past week or so. Need to talk?”
John narrowed his gaze. He knew Abby and Buck were friends. “Have you talked to her?”
He shook his head. “No. Well, barely. I caught up with her at the grocery store a few days ago and she blew me off when I asked if the two of you were going out to the country club for the annual fund-raising shindig next weekend. She wouldn’t look me in the eye and turned, shaking her head. I take it she didn’t want to talk about it, and she especially didn’t want to talk about you.”
John sucked in air and held it, his chest expanding. He paused and then lifted his chin. Finally, he let out a slow breath. “I haven’t told anyone this Buck, and it goes no further than right here—but Abby and I, well, we’ve got a serious problem.”
Buck narrowed his gaze. “You need my help?”
Glancing off, John returned, “Hell, no. I have to figure this thing out myself.”
“What is it, John?”
He looked back into Buck’s face. “Abby is pregnant.”
After a moment, Buck exhaled, whistling through his teeth. “I take it the baby is yours.”
John exploded. “Hell, yes, it’s mine.” He punched the fender of the truck and headed for the passenger side door and got in, slamming it. “Let’s go, Buck!”
Buck joined him in the cab, started the truck and headed down the hill toward the house. Finally, he said, “You ask her to marry you?”
“Yeah, I did. Of course. Well, I didn’t offer. I told her we would.”
“And what did she say?”
Buck kept staring straight ahead. John turned to look out his window. “She said no. She won’t marry me.”
Buck chewed on that a moment. “She’s got her pride.”
“Pride?” John twisted in the seat. “What the hell does pride have to do with it? She’s pregnant no matter what, with or without a husband. Where does pride come in when she’s raising a baby on her own? My baby? I don’t know what she is thinking.”
He looked back out the window to his right. Buck kept driving. Soon, they reached the barn and pulled up out back. They both exited and headed inside.
“John, one second.”
John knew his friend had his best interest in mind, but he wasn’t sure he could talk about this any longer. He had turned it over internally for days, calling himself every kind of fool for getting himself—and Abby—into this predicament. And with Annie not even in the grave a year yet. How would his kids handle this? That worried him most. The conversation he’d had with Callie not long ago haunted him.
“Look, Buck. I’ve twisted this thing every which way but loose for days, over and over. I just don’t know what to do. I’ve told her I’d marry her. I’ve tried to call her and even stopped by to see her in person, but she refuses to talk. And if she did marry me, it’s probably a solution to one problem and maybe the start of others, considering the Callie situation and all. I just don’t know.”
Buck studied him. “I’m sure you are right. This is not an easy decision, one way or the other. There are consequences either way, I suppose.”
“She’s not raising my child without me. I won’t have it.” He stared off into the distance.
“That’s very nineteen-sixties of you, John.”
He whipped his head around. “What the hell does that mean?”
Buck stepped closer. “It means that your attitude is a little old-fashioned. Women raise kids on their own these days all the time and pretty much every woman I know of would say that just having a kid doesn’t mean you automatically get married. Abby has a good job and she’s an independent woman.”
“True, but—”
Buck stepped closer. “John, you want her because she wants to be with you, because she loves you. And she wants the same. No woman wants to feel like an obligation.”
“I would never do that.”
“Ah, but you did.”
John stepped back shoved his hands in his pockets. “Shit.”
Nodding, Buck added, “Welcome to the twenty-first century, boss.”
“But she knows getting married is what we need to do.”
“You told her that?”
“I did. Left her a damn phone message because she wouldn’t pick up. So, she might as well just give in and marry me.”
Buck stepped back, eyeing him. “So, when you told her all that, you didn’t go all rough stock cowboy on her, did you? Some women just don’t respond well to that kind of bullshit.”
“I simply told her we’d marry, Buck. What else was I to do?”
“Propose?”
“What?”
“You told her you’d marry her. You’ve said that twice now. Told her. Did you ever think about simply proposing? Asking for her hand in marriage in a romantic way? Women like that kind of shit, you know. Ever think of that?”
John stared at Buck, dumbfounded. No, he hadn’t thought of that, at all.
****
John knew what he had to do, but before he could do it, there was something else that needed his attention. He wasn’t sure which task would be easier—proposing to Abby, or telling Callie and Parker what he was about to do.
He supposed he needed to ask them, too. Not tell them.
Not that proposing to Abby was a task. Not in the least. The thought of an actual proposal had warmed his heart and made him excited at the prospect of their future together. He could only hope that Abby’s heart would take a turn and agree.
But first—
“Callie? Parker!” Standing at the foot of the stairs, John called up. “Need to talk to you two for a moment.”
Parker bounded down the stairs first, followed by a slow-moving Callie. John watched her take one step at a time and then roll her eyes as she came eye-level with him and grinned. “What did I do now, Daddy?”
He smiled. “Nothing, punkin’. I just need to talk to you guys. Ask you something, actually.”
“Hm.” Callie skipped down the last few steps and headed through the kitchen.
“Head on into the great room.” He followed her in and sat in his chair. Both his children sat on the sofa facing him.
“What’s up, Dad?”
John cleared his throat. “I have something important to ask the two of you.”
“Oh?” Callie tipped her head to the side.
“Yes.” He exhaled, an act he hoped would settle his nerves. Leaning forward, he made a tent with his hands and fingers, his elbows on his knees. Nervously, he tapped his fingers together.
“Kids, please hear me out before you interrupt me. Okay?”
They both fixed their gazes on him and nodded. He sure as hell hoped they would let him say his piece before getting upset. Especially, he worried about Callie.
“You both know I loved your mama more than my own life. I know that she’s only been about a year now but—”
“But you and Abby are getting married, aren’t you, Dad.” John turned his direction toward his son. Parker, who for all these months had not given him one iota of trouble, and who hadn’t weighed in at all about him dating A
bby, had spoken up.
He nodded, then looked from Parker to Callie. “I’m asking for your permission to ask Abby to marry me. I’ve not proposed to her and I would like to, but I need your blessing. I won’t do it if either of you tells me you don’t want me to.”
Silence. He watched his daughter stare ahead, and then turn to her left to look at her older brother. Parker gave her a quick glance, then back to his father and said, “Do you love her, Dad?”
John dipped his head. “I do. It wasn’t something I expected to happen at all. I really didn’t go looking to date someone or to fall in love. Abby is a friend of Buck’s and it just happened. You know that—”
Callie interrupted. “Do you love her like you loved Mommy?”
John looked straight into Callie’s eyes. “No, honey. I will never love anyone like I loved your mama. She will always be special in my heart and in yours and Parker’s. That love is only reserved for the four of us and no one will ever take that away.”
“But you still love Abby.”
“I do. I love her in a different way.”
“In an Abby way.”
“I guess you could say that.”
Callie thought on that. John waited. But it was Parker who spoke up again next. “I have questions, Dad.”
John leaned forward. “Then ask them. Now is the time for us to talk about this.”
Parker nodded. “All right. Will Abby move here? What about her son, Luke? I suppose if she comes, he will too. Does that make us all family? Do I have to share a room with him?”
John exhaled. “That’s a lot of questions but let me see how I do.” He watched Parker but also noticed Callie’s interest and that she was hanging on every word.
“I haven’t discussed any of this with Abby yet, but I am assuming she would move to the ranch. So yes, she would live here with us, in this house, of course. Luke, too. As to sharing a room, no. We’ll figure something out. You’re pushing seventeen and deserve space of your own, Parker. You’ll not have to share.”
“That Luke ain’t staying with me,” Callie piped up.
John laughed. “No, Callie. Luke won’t be sharing your room either. Don’t you worry about that.”
Another wave of silence hung over the three of them. Finally, John said, “So, what do you think? I know there will be some getting used to. We’ll have to figure some things out and it will all be new to Abby and Luke, too. There will be adjustments. But we can work through it, right? And heck, it might be fun, even.”
“I’m still deciding in my head if it’s okay,” Callie said.
Parker stared at her then looked to John. “Will it make you happy, Dad, to marry her?”
Something clutched in his chest as he took in Parker’s question. Suddenly the boy seemed more like a young man. Hell, he was. “Yes, son. It would make me happy. I’ve been lonely and I’ve enjoyed her company. You’ll find out one day that a man needs a woman beside him. No one will ever replace your mama, of course, but it would be nice to be happy again.”
Parker studied him. “Then I say it’s all right with me.”
Bless you, son. He nodded. “Thank you, Parker.”
“I’m still thinking…” Callie said. She glanced to her left again when Parker gave her shoulder a nudge. “What?”
“It’s okay, Callie. We can handle this. It will make Dad happy.”
Callie turned to her father, a slow grin spreading over her face. “I want you to be happy again, Daddy. Because when you are happy, I am happy. I’m still thinking but I think it will be okay.”
John closed his eyes and felt his shoulders fall. In the next instant, both Callie and Parker were on either side of him, and he reached around to pull them close. He might have even shed a tear while they weren’t looking.
****
The next day, John stood in front of the library. He had no idea if what he planned would work. This could all go very, very wrong—or it could go very, very right. Either way, he had to get on with it.
Pushing through the double glass doors, he stepped into an enclosed entrance and then on into the building. A few kids and adults mingled about—more people than he had anticipated at this time of day. He supposed he should check in at the desk to see where Abby might be, and if it was possible to see her.
But as he stepped further into the space, he noticed her standing behind the counter talking with a co-worker while they stacked books on a rolling cart. Suddenly, the front door opened, and kids were everywhere. Hell, this was a bad time. He shifted the bouquet of roses in his hands and nervously sidestepped an older couple leaving.
Damn, he was just standing there in the way.
Focused on Abby though, he stood frozen to the spot, watching as she continued to pull books out of a bin, glance over the spines, and place on the cart. She lifted her gaze and chatted quietly with the co-worker. He could hear her voice but didn’t comprehend a single word she said.
She looked so pretty standing there. Her honey-brown hair shimmered with the sunlight streaming in from the window. He stepped closer to the counter and watched her full lips move as she spoke, and her blue eyes dart back and forth from the books to the other person.
There is the mother of my child.
He loved her. His heart swelled in his chest as he watched her. So mesmerized, he didn’t notice anyone else coming through the door, and he was quickly shuffled aside as kids and adults weaved in and out around him.
He had to wonder how pitiful he looked, standing there staring at her, heartsick, with a bunch of roses in his hand. A big, dumb cowboy looking mighty out of place, pining away for the woman he loved. A woman who was not giving him one bit of attention and had no clue he was even in the room.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to bump you, sir. May I help you?”
He looked to a young man standing beside him, who was now stepping back. “No,” John said. “I mean, yes, thank you. I’m here to…. Um. I want to see….”
What the hell am I doing here? This is a mistake. I should have done this another way.
He turned to leave, stepping away from the desk area.
“John?”
Abby.
He swiveled back and leveled his gaze. She had moved around the desk now and closer to him. All he could do was look at her, a lump in his throat the size of Yellowstone.
“John?” she repeated, a curious look on her face.
He breathed. Finally. “Abby. You’re busy. I should come back. When would be a good time?”
She ignored his question. “Are those roses for me?” Her eyes were full of question and probable expectation.
His heart was full of hope.
He glanced about. Suddenly everyone’s eyes—a bunch of kids and some adults, probably Abby’s co-workers—were on the two of them. He looked at Abby. Reaching for her hand, he drew closer to her.
“Yes, Abby,” he said softly. “These roses are for you. I remembered you liked the last bunch I gave you.” He handed them to her.
She gathered them into her hands and brought them to her nose. “They smell wonderful. Thank you.”
Her lashes fluttered as she looked up at him. His heart leapt. Damn. “I can’t prolong this any longer,” he muttered. Then he got down on one knee.
A collective gasp rippled throughout the room.
Abby blinked, watching him, and cradled the roses in her right arm.
John took her left hand.
“Abby Cooper,” he began, “I know we’ve only known each other a short time, but in that time I have come to love you with all of my heart. I don’t want to spend another day away from you. I want to spend all of our days and nights together, for the rest of our lives.” He cleared his throat and stared into Abby’s eyes—eyes that were tearing up.
“Abby, will you marry me?”
Oh please, God, do not let her say no.
He watched a tear race down her cheek and settle near the corner of her mouth. “You love me? Truly?” she asked.
&nbs
p; “With all of my heart.”
“But your kids?”
He nodded. “They are fine.”
“Oh, John… I need to talk to Luke.”
“I understand. Of course. But what do you want?”
She pulled her lower lip into her mouth.
“Abby. Please. I’m asking, not telling. Marry me?”
She smiled and gripped his hand, and then John remembered the ring. He reached into his pocket, pulled out the small black velvet box and flipped open the lid. He’d been to Billings and back yesterday and bought the biggest damn diamond he could find.
Abby gasped. “Oh my.”
“Yeah, it’s big and flashy,” he said, “but it still can’t measure up to how big my love is for you, darlin’.”
Abby blinked. “Yes.”
John stood. “What?”
“I said, yes. Yes, John, I will marry you. I’ve missed you so much.”
John felt his chest might crack open with the joy, considering the happiness that was spilling over inside him. With a cowboy whoop! he grabbed Abby around the waist and swept her up in his arms, swinging her around. Suddenly, a cheer and clapping went up around them.
He set her down, looked deep into Abby’s eyes, and whispered. “I love you, Abby Cooper. Nothing will change that. Ever. I will take care of you and ours. And there is nothing else in the world I want more.”
Abby’s tears spilled over. “John. I’ve loved you right from the beginning.”
He didn’t waste another minute slipping that big flashy ring on Abby’s finger.
Epilogue
Christmas Eve
To say he was as nervous as a whore in church was an understatement.
John Rankin stood outside the side door of the small country church, tucked so far back in a valley in the Gallatin Mountain range that it took them over an hour to get to it from Rock Creek Ranch. But that church was where Abby wanted to get married, and so, that is where they would indeed, get married.
Snow crystals filtered down around him, blown on a soft breeze from a low-hanging pine bough. He brushed the flakes off his shoulder, then took off his hat and ran a hand over his hot forehead.
