The Time Until

by Casey Ford

  Sam steps up close to me and grabs my arm in a tight embrace. She leans over, whispers in my ear and I love the press of her body on mine.

  “I guarantee those two will be dating each other by the time we start college,” Sam whispers. I can’t even think about that far in advance. Sam smiles a cocky smile and backs away from me.

  “Holy shit!” Arianna exclaims, she’s pointing at Sam and me. “You guys are the inseparable couple that’s not a couple.” And just for good measure, “Right?” I shrug, I’ve heard the rumors.

  Sam and I are really conjoined twins that were surgically removed.

  Sam is secretly having my baby.

  I’m really her slave and am only allowed out during the day with her.

  The list goes on and on. Sam and I usually ignore them. We know our relationship and no one else needs to.

  “That’s them. The inseparable couple of idiots.” Ethan answers her with a large grin on his face. I groan and roll my eyes.

  “You guys are the talk of the school.” She seems way too excited about this.

  “Are you guys really separated twins that fell in love and now live in incestuous sin?” Okay, I haven’t heard that one yet. From the look on Sam’s face, she has.

  “That’s obviously not the truth, idiot,” Quentin chimes in. Arianna flashes him a glare able to freeze Hell.

  “What is your problem, ass-hat?” Arianna pushes past Sam and me as she steps up to Quentin. Quentin puffs out his chest, as if expecting a fight.

  “I think my problem is pretty obvious,” he counters, “don’t you?” Arianna raises an eyebrow.

  “Obviously not, dickhead!” she tells him.

  Quentin’s face starts to turn red with anger.

  “Who’re you calling a dickhead, you purple-haired hippy?” he retorts.

  The two bounce insults off each other for few more minutes before the bell rings for us to go back to class. By that time, they seem to be having more fun than actually being angry at each other. Sam leans into me again as we enter the classroom.

  “See, told you they were meant to be.”

  I’m still on the fence about it though.

  “You still coming over tonight right?” Sam asks as she takes the seat next to me. I nod.

  “Good. My dad says he has something to talk to me about and I didn’t like the way he said it.” She starts fidgeting.

  “I think I’ll need back-up,” she adds quickly.

  “Don’t worry,” I tell her, “you’ll definitely have your incestuous sinner of a twin there to ‘comfort’ you when your father tells you how he knows about the evil relationship you are in.”

  Sam giggles to my rather conspicuous criticism of the new rumor, but she still seems distracted and lost in thought.

  She’s not telling something me about this meeting tonight with her father.

  Present Day

  “How did that happen?” I ask raising one eyebrow. Quentin shrugs and Arianna blushes. I can’t help but smile. They are cute together despite the differences. There’s a story there that I would like to hear someday.

  “Things just happen to happen,” Quentin offers.

  “But you guys hated each other in high school.” Quentin looks at Arianna and I can see something pass between them.

  “We didn’t really hate each other,” he turns back to me, “just didn’t see eye to eye on things.” I think I understand. While he’s talking, I notice something flashing around in his mouth.

  “Is that a stud in your tongue?” I can’t believe it. Quentin has changed — his father would never have allowed that. He simply smiles without opening his mouth and nods.

  “You have ruined him,” I playfully yell at Arianna. She has a big smile on her face.

  “Wasn’t that hard to do.”

  “Well, I’m happy for both of you,” I tell them. “And I know Sam will be ecstatic. You know she always said there was something between you two.” They share a look of concern between them. I don’t like it.

  “What?” Quentin shakes his head.

  “No, you don’t get to ignore the question.” I’m starting to get angry again. Why does everyone look like someone just died? And suddenly I don’t feel so good.

  What if it’s Sam?

  What if they don’t want to tell me that she’s dead? Is that why everyone looks sad and concerned when I bring it up?

  The little ball of lava in my chest is now a ball of fire and growing.

  What the hell is everyone’s problem? What, they don’t think I deserve to know that my best friend is dead?! They think I’m too weak to handle those emotions? Who are they to decide what’s best for me like that? They have no right to keep this from me! I’ve clenched my fists so tight that my knuckles are white and pain is starting to build in my palms.

  I really want to hit someone right now.

  Arianna seems to notice my emotions. She’s been almost studying my face since she got here. She looks concerned and really surprised at my reaction.

  I can’t say I blame her; I’m surprised as well.

  “Alan, it’s not like that,” she tells me. “Sam is fine, no change from what we’re told.” I start to breathe and try to get the ball under control. Okay, so that kind of thought process is not a good thing. I try to swallow the fire down, but I’m having a bit of trouble with it this time. My thoughts are still crazy — jumping from knowing she’s fine to imagining her dead. It’s making it hard to control my lava stream. I have to think she’s alive. She has to be alive, why else would the nurse say I could see her tomorrow?

  No, I know she’s alive.

  “Yeah, we just feel like you should be prepared in case she doesn’t wake up,” Quentin adds. Arianna’s eyes grow wide and she hits him in the arm. He utters a curse when he realizes what he said. I’m still controlling my emotions, but what he’s saying is making sense. I already had those thoughts cross my mind a few times.

  Doesn’t mean I want to be reminded of it, you prick?!

  That irrational side of my brain is really making it hard to restrain myself.

  Calm down. I know there is a chance she won’t wake up. Calm down. Quentin is not a bad guy. He means no harm. Calm down.

  I take a deep breath in and hold it. My vision clears and I feel the calm.

  I slowly let the breath out, calming prickles dance from my lungs down to my feet.

  “I know there is a chance that she won’t wake up.” I’m a lot more breathy than I want to be. Calming myself is more tiring than running the mile in PE.

  Another deep breath.

  “I have to think positive,” I admit, “or I’ll go crazy.”

  Arianna and Quentin look at me with a bit of sympathy in their eyes. They both have known Sam and I since we were 11 — Quentin a little longer. They know how close we are and all that we went through together. They have the right to be sympathetic to my pain.

  “So tell me how things are going. I haven’t talked to either of you in a long time.” I finally have gotten myself under control again. The ball is still there applying pressure to my rib cage, but I’m able to keep it down.

  For now.

  “It’s great. Fresno State is awesome.” Quentin answers quickly, thankful for a change of subject.

  “That’s good,” I reply. “Anyone we know go there besides you two?”

  Another shared look between the two of them and my ball is rattling the cage again.

  “Katelyn Price,” Arianna says quietly.

  Katelyn’s name still affects me, even to this day. My breath hitches and my heart skips a single beat.

  After all these years, she still has that effect on me.

  Katelyn Price, my one regret.

  “Does she know about this?” I ask, maybe a little too hopeful. Arianna shakes her head no.

  “We haven’t told her yet,” she adds.

  “Wait for a while. She might not even come.” She nods her understanding. Kate and I didn’t exactly end on good terms. She
never talked to me again after the epic graduation blow out we had.

  I have no one to blame but myself though.

  Rapidly, my arm starts to ache as if in response to our conversation. They told me that the pain can be intense, they weren’t kidding. This is pain. I hit the red call button and a middle-aged nurse walks in.

  “You okay?” Stupid question, but I let it slide since the pain in my arm is keeping the flames in my chest at bay.

  “My arm hurts a lot,” I tell her and she nods as she goes to get my painkillers. Arianna looks at me with concern.

  “That happen a lot?” she asks me. I nod my head as the nurse returns. Immediately, the pain starts to subside. Arianna looks at Quentin as I start to close my eyes.

  “Maybe we should go now.” I try to open my eyes, but the pain medicine is making me groggy and it’s very difficult to do. I do manage to see Quentin nod before they close completely.

  I barely register the door closing in the pitch black behind my lids.

  Chapter Nine

  5 Years Ago (Age 15): February

  My brother, James, decided to celebrate his leave — he joined the Marines shortly after graduating and just got finished with basic and MCT — by dragging me and my friends to The Sidetrack, a local, all-ages nightclub. Anyone 16 and older can enter. I was able to get in because my brother has been friends with the front bouncer for years. The music is overwhelmingly loud and the people are completely lost in their own little worlds. The DJ is actually pretty good and I even find myself moving to the music despite the crappy mood I’m in. Girls already surround Ethan and Arianna is moving on the dance floor — she has her own little group of guys already. Quentin is trying hard not to look at them. Arianna is almost like the female version of Ethan; this is their element, not mine.

  The only one not here is Sam. Unfortunately, she has another obligation that she’d rather be at than being here with me — us.

  “Jesus, you’re depressing tonight,” my brother chides, “just get over her and try to enjoy yourself.”

  “Easier said than done.”

  “Whatever. Call me when you need a ride from the pity party, I’m going to the back.” My brother disappears into the back of the club yelling something like “ladies.” He thinks he’s a ladies’ man, only some of the time is it true. The last third of the building is the 21 and over side. They have a bar, a few couches, and some tables. The dance floor is in the middle between The Virgin side and The Back side.

  He’s left me all on my own.

  I’ve never been here before, but I know that Sam and I have been talking about coming here. She came here last weekend without me and I know it shouldn’t bug me but it does. Since entering high school, we’ve been pulling further apart — correction, she’s been pulling away since the soccer tournament two months ago. I refuse to apologize for what happened there, but I might have been a little too forceful. Knowing she would run as soon as it happened didn’t stop it from hurting when she did.

  And run she did, straight to Caleb McKenzie, captain of the baseball team.

  So here I sit, all alone and head deep in wallowing pain. Yeah, needless to say, I’m in no mood to party right now.

  “So, why do you look like someone just drowned your cat?” The words come from the mouth of a very attractive girl who took it upon herself to sit in the chair across from me. She has dirty blonde hair that falls to just above her shoulders, slightly curled at the tips to circle her head. Her barely there make-up and bluish green eyes make her face hard to resist. A tight fitting t-shirt with a v-shaped slit down the front gives her a feel of modesty, but also a hint of something more — though her breasts seem to beg not to be hidden. The jean skirt on her hips is tight enough to show-off the shape of her butt — ample, tight, and firm. It’s long enough to cover everything, but short enough to be a tease. Her knee high, black boots finish off the outfit.

  She definitely has my blood pumping.

  “What makes you think I have a cat?” I ask before taking another drink from my glass. She has a small smile on her face and never looks away from me. I can’t help but look at her either. She’s captivating.

  Her eyes. It’s her eyes that mesmerize me the most. They seem to glow when she turns her head just right and the color makes me feel like I’m swimming in the ocean. The entire room starts to fall away as we gaze at each other. My cheeks start to burn slightly with how blatantly I’m staring at her. I don’t normally stare at girls, I’m a guy so I look, but I never stare. I feel perverted for ogling.

  But ogling this girl, all I feel is heat.

  “So, must be a girl then,” she says. “You get your heart broken?” I drop my gaze and look at my glass. The heat doesn’t go away and I can still feel her hypnotizing eyes boring into me. The blush is as much embarrassment as attraction.

  “You could say that,” I answer her. I wait for her to ask more, but she doesn’t. She continues to look at me. I look up and meet her eyes again. Reaching across the table, she grabs my hand.

  “Dance with me.” I don’t even have time to say “no” before she drags me onto the dance floor and immediately starts bouncing in time to the music. I stand there like a log; I’m not in the mood to really dance.

  All of a sudden, I’m in the middle of pole dance and I’m the pole. This chick is rubbing and sliding across me as I stand there rigid not sure what to do — though my little head has some ideas. I look around the floor and catch the wide-eyed, but approving, look from Ethan. He tilts his head slightly and starts moving to the music as if he’s trying to get me to join him.

  And why shouldn’t I?

  The no name in front of me bends over and makes a show of rubbing against me suggestively. I lose a bit of my control and grab her hips. She flips around and presses her body against me, sending hot blood to my less than vital organ. I can’t help myself; I crush her body to mine and push my leg between hers. We twist and grind to the music. As I caress her body, she gently guides my hands away from the areas she wants to remain untouched.

  “Someday,” she playfully taps the tip of my nose with her finger, “if you’re a good boy.” She smiles seductively, turns around — placing her back to my chest — and reaches over her head to caress my hair. I wrap my arms around her hips as we move in time to the music. I have a great view of the entire length of her body.

  I drink it in deeply.

  Sweat beads on my face and back, but I ignore it as we continue our seductive dance. I’ve never been this uninhibited before and I’m indulging in my newfound freedom. This girl — whose name I don’t even know — makes me feel different, something primal and instinctual. My heart is racing and I know it’s not just the dancing causing it. I know I have a big smile on my face because my cheeks hurt.

  I’m having fun.

  The current song ends and a slower song begins. The girl stops, but doesn’t walk away. She just looks at me as I watch her chest expand and contract from her heavy breathing.

  Is it wrong that I find her hard to resist whenever she takes a deep breath?

  “This one is a special request from my new main man Ethan to his boy Alan,” the DJ announces, “live it up. You only get to once.” I smile to myself as I listen to the announcement. I grab the girl’s hand and pull her close to me, crushing her breasts into my chest and sending even more heat to strange places. She responds in kind with a smile and her fingers weaving through my hair.

  We sway slowly to the music as I soak up her eyes and smile — her smile is inviting and almost as heart wrenching as Sam’s. A twinge of regret passes through me as I think of Sam.

  You’re mine.

  The girl notices when my demeanor changes and she stops twirling my hair. Her smile falters somewhat, but never loses its inviting feel. She rises up on her toes so her mouth is a scarce inch from mine and I can actually imagine myself exploring her mouth with my tongue.

  “You can think about her while you’re with me, you know,” she tells me softly.
“I’m not jealous.” Her smile grows a bit bigger. I smile a bit as well.

  “It’s not that,” I explain to her. “Just felt bad for comparing you two.” Her smile grows larger and more playful.

  “Don’t do that,” she says as she softly hits my chest with the back of her hand, “it’s not fair to the other girl.” I laugh at that.

  All of a sudden, she stops and bites her bottom lip, a dick move on her part since I don’t think I have enough blood left in my body to send to my hard-on. She slowly pushes closer to me and I’m almost certain she’s going to kiss me. I’m suddenly aware of the fact that my lips are dry and cracked, my mouth has the consistency of a toxic dump, and I have only kissed one other girl in my entire life — Sam. There have never been nerves this frazzled in all the time the world has been turning.

  As it turns out, she isn’t going in for a kiss, but she does need to be closer in order to whisper in my ear. Her soft breath sends a slight shudder through my body and her breathy voice clouds my thoughts.

  “My name’s Katelyn Price,” she whispers, “and I’m going to help you forget all about that other girl.” The night is nowhere near long enough.

  Chapter Ten

  Present Day

  “You’re kidding!” Ethan shakes his head and laughs loudly. Waking me up from my nap, we immediately started catching up. He didn’t go to college and remained here in town, but he’s managed to get himself a decent job working for an insurance company in their HR department. He has no degree, but he still makes a decent wage. He’s been my closest friend — next to Sam — since we were 10. I don’t have a single memory from high school getting into trouble and him not right there in the center of it all.

  “Hell no!” I laugh so hard my head starts to hurt. Ethan Crowe and concussions don’t mix. “I go to a party with this girl from a bar and her four friends. I’m so wasted I could have gone to Brazil and been like ‘wow, that was a long walk’.” He’s trying not to laugh while recapping his adventure.