The Time Until

by Casey Ford

  Caleb finally gains his cocky attitude back and chuckles at Sam.

  “Hey, babe, what’s the matter?”

  “You know exactly what’s wrong, Cable,” she bites, intentionally using his nickname as an insult. Caleb looks lost, but quickly covers it up with his usual over-confident self.

  “Is this about the rumors, babe?” he asks at almost a whisper. Sam glares at him. Caleb shrinks against her stare.

  It’s a heart-warming image.

  “Yeah, Cable,” she spits his name, “this is about the rumors that you started.” That was news to me. I just assumed it was some kid from my party. It’s interesting that the offender is Caleb, but not that surprising.

  “What’s the big deal? So everyone knows about us. I don’t see a problem with that.” He smiles slightly and I feel slimy just looking at it. This is a completely different side of him than I’ve ever seen. I wonder if this is his true personality.

  He gives off this sleazy used car dealer vibe.

  “The big deal is, Caleb,” she starts with a calming breath, “we’ve never had sex.”

  My head does a double take. Wait a minute, what the hell does that mean? I’m reasonably sure that the sounds coming from my bathroom that day were from intercourse. Then again, I never actually saw them having sex. Could I have overreacted to the situation? Hearing those sounds and her voice were a great shock at the time. Maybe I simply added my own delusion to the situation.

  “Wait a minute,” a brave soul speaks up, “what do you mean?” Sam turns to face him and he blanches slightly.

  “We were all there. We heard you. There wasn’t a whole lot left to the imagination there.” Sam actually turns a slight shade of pink. It’s pretty obvious that she’s reliving something, most likely that little exhibition in my bathroom.

  “That was far from being sex,” she tells us turning a little pinker. Everyone stares at her waiting for an explanation. Sam looks at Caleb and he shrugs.

  No explanation is given.

  “This is just like you,” she scolds, “I give you an inch and you take a mile.”

  “Whoa, whoa,” he puts his hands up like she’s going to attack him, which she might, “you liked it – a lot if I remember right.” Sam rolls her eyes and places a hand on her hip.

  “Don’t give me that macho bullshit, Caleb, I don’t need it,” she shouts at him. She looks at me briefly and I can swear it’s almost like she’s doing this for me. That can’t be right. She’s the one who left me and broke my heart. She shouldn’t care what I think.

  Right?

  “Everyone thinks I had sex with you and I didn’t.” Caleb gets another one those sleazy smiles on his face.

  “Well,” he starts then lowers his voice to barely a whisper, “since everyone already thinks we have, why not just give in.” He raises an eyebrow as if he knows he won her over with this.

  I now know what he was doing. Peer pressure in the greatest form. If everyone believes you’ve done something, all your protests will fall on deaf ears and eventually you’ll cave. It’s a good plan.

  It would have worked if he was dating anyone but Sam.

  “I can’t believe I ever dated you,” she sighs in regret and again quickly glances at me. The remorse all over her face tells me all I need to know. She regrets every moment that she spent with him.

  Suddenly, I’m feeling very regretful myself.

  What the hell have I been doing with Kate?

  “Are you breaking up with me?” Caleb asks snapping me out of my thoughts. Sam looks at him as if thinking about it.

  “You know what, I am,” she says.

  I shouldn’t be ecstatic right now, but I am. I think I’ve actually been waiting for this moment, even though I know she’s not doing it for me.

  “Not like I care all that much,” he says, not knowing when to keep his mouth shut.

  “What does that mean?” Sam cocks a questioning eyebrow. Caleb dismisses her with a casual wave of his hand like he doesn’t care to answer.

  “I think you should answer the lady, Caleb,” I offer. Caleb looks at me and his eyes narrow slightly. I step from the crowd and stand next to Sam. She offers me a small apologetic smile.

  “Whatever,” he dismisses me. I instantly grab his head in my palm and slam it into the lockers. His ‘friends’ don’t move a muscle to help him. Some friends they are. That makes me appreciate mine that much more.

  Holding him in place, I use his head as support and lean close to his ear.

  “Answer the question, Cable.” He grits his teeth in anger, but nods his head.

  “Good,” I tell him as I release his head, wiping my palm on my shirt to remove his sweat.

  “I was just waiting for you drop your panties anyway,” he began, “not like I actually wanted to do all that stuff with you.”

  Wow! I look at Sam to ask if I can pound him. She shakes her head no.

  I cringe as a Joker smile rips across Sam’s face. I’ve seen this smile before and I know what’s coming seconds before it does. Stepping closer to Caleb, Sam’s knee comes smashing into his testicles and he collapses, not even able to breath. I’m right there with him, along with every other guy in the room. It was a devastating blow, one where watching was enough to feel the pain. Caleb tries to catch his breath in gasps.

  “Get up,” she shouts at him without the least bit of sympathy, “we both know you don’t have enough there for that to actually hurt.” She completely disregards his pain as she stares at him without the least bit of empathy. Finally, she rolls eyes again and turns to leave.

  “You bitch!” I go to hit him in the head, but Sam is a step faster. She slams her fist down on top of his head, knocking him unconscious. The entire room watches as she turns to leave again, completely stunned into silence. I smile to myself with the thought that I’m the only one in the room who knows what Sam is capable of doing.

  This is only a portion of her ability.

  Once at the door, Sam half turns and looks at me over her shoulder.

  “It may be too late to fix the damage I caused, but I’m going to do what I can to get us back to where we used to be.” She drops her voice, but it’s still loud enough to hear, just barely.

  “No more running away.”

  I’m beyond overjoyed at this turn of events. That is, until I remember Kate.

  I can already tell that things are changing between Sam and me.

  Things are changing between Kate and me as a result.

  My life has just gotten more complicated. I didn’t even think that was possible.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Present Day

  For the second time in a week, whispering has awoken me. It’s even more annoying the second time. This time, it’s not the doctor talking, but Ethan and Arianna. That’s not exactly much better, but they’re talking to the cops about what happened. I see my parents standing next to them as silent support. Nate is also here, but he’s staying in the corner looking concerned. I groan and shift my weight, the noticeable pull in my back is still there, but it doesn’t hurt at all. They must have stitched me up because the skin feels a little stretched. I turn my head to the side and find Kate sitting by my bed.

  “Hey, pretty lady,” is all I can manage to think of to say. My throat is scratchy, but audible. Katelyn turns her head and smiles at me.

  I like that smile.

  “I love your smile,” I repeat aloud. Kate’s smile falters slightly before regaining its glory. I didn’t intend to tell her that. My parents come and stand on the opposite side of the bed from Kate.

  “Thank you,” she says to me.

  “How are you feeling?” Arianna asks coming to stand next to Kate.

  “Well enough,” I answer, “a little loopy though.”

  “You lost a lot of blood, but otherwise you’re fine,” Ethan explains, “for the most part.” I nod my head. Quentin comes into the room with an arm full of sodas and almost bumps into the cops standing in front of the door. Etha
n helps him with the drinks giving one to each of the cops and one to Arianna and Kate. Watching him pass around the sodas makes me painfully aware of my parched throat and mouth. I smack my gums a bit in an effort to work up some spit, but there’s nothing doing. Katelyn notices and quickly grabs the big mug with a straw hanging out of it at the side of the bed.

  “Drink it slowly,” she tells me. I don’t want to drink it slowly, but the coldness of the water almost burns my throat as it goes down, forcing me to comply. The cops step up as I finish my drink and I actually dread what they have to say.

  Katelyn holds my hand as support and I give her a squeeze to tell her I appreciate the comfort.

  “Do I need to press charges or anything?” I ask as they step up to me. One of them shakes his head.

  “No,” he answers me, “with a case like this, there’s no need for the victim to press charges. The DA usually does it for them.” I cock an eyebrow.

  “At the very least, it’ll be assault with a deadly weapon, but he could be tried under attempted manslaughter,” the other cop finishes.

  I’m not sure it sits well with me that the judicial system has taken my right to seek justice out of my hands. What if I didn’t want to prosecute? What if I just wanted to leave it alone and forget it all? Now I can’t. The DA will make me testify and I’ll have to drag out all the details in front of a room of people. I’ll be placed on the spot and cross-examined.

  I want that like I wanted another hole in my back.

  That is, unless he bargains out. I hope that’s what he does.

  “Okay, I guess that’s okay,” I try to sound convinced, but I doubt it worked.

  I spend the next few minutes explaining to the cops what happened in the parking lot. They, of course, write everything down in their little notepads. They leave afterward and I finally get to talk to my friends without the awkward over-lookers.

  “So,” I start, “what happened? How long have I been out?” Everyone looks at each other briefly.

  “You’ve been out for about 18 hours and you lost a lot of blood,” Ethan explains.

  “They took you into surgery and found that he nicked an artery, but it wasn’t a major one,” my father elaborates.

  “At least he missed your organs,” my mother adds. I hate making my parents worry like this. It’s not like it’s all my fault. Trouble just seems to find me.

  Especially this week.

  Usually Sam is there to help me out of it.

  “Excuse me,” a nurse enters the room cautiously, “but I’m afraid that visiting hours are ending soon.” Ethan walks out after a fist bump from me and Quentin follows with our signature handshake. Arianna gives me a friendly good-bye hug, tells me she’s glad I’m okay and follows Ethan and Quentin. My parents look stricken, they say their goodbyes — giving hugs and kisses before they leave. Katelyn is the last to get up and leave.

  “Will I see you tomorrow?” I ask in a whisper, sounding a little too desperate, as she hugs me goodbye. She hesitates.

  “I don’t know, Alan, this is weird for me and with everything last night.”

  She pauses, lost in thought for a minute.

  “Maybe in a few days, when you’re released. I have some things to sort out before then, okay?” She asks and I understand where she’s coming from, but I also like the idea of her staying and comforting me. I nod my head in agreement. I have some things I need to sort out as well.

  “Thank you,” I respond. She doesn’t respond, just nods her head again and avoids my eye contact as she scurries from the room.

  What was that about?

  Oh well. I’ll find out tomorrow.

  4 Years Ago (Age 16): October

  Halloween is always a hard time for my parents and me since James shipped out to Afghanistan. It’s his favorite holiday by far. He would dress up every year until he shipped out to boot. The entire neighborhood knew him on sight and he always spent a great amount of time and money on his costumes. They had to be perfect and usually ended up being incredibly elaborate.

  We have an album with pictures of all his costumes in it.

  This year is a bit different since he’s not here again and both my girlfriend and the girl I’m in love with are coming. We’re all going trick-or-treating together.

  Now that I say that aloud, it sounds really wrong.

  It’s been almost a month since Sam dumped Caleb and nothing has happened. Well almost nothing, Sam has come back to our group, much to the displeasure of Katelyn. She hasn’t tried to change our relationship at all, it’s gone back to the way we were a year ago before the admission of my feelings. She’s acting like I’m just a close friend.

  I guess that’s all I’ll ever be.

  Not that it really matters — yeah, right — I still have Katelyn as a girlfriend. I haven’t had the heart to break up with her, yet. The last month has given me time to think about my relationship with her but I don’t love her as much as I thought I did, though I still care for her a lot. But breaking up with her has been difficult to do. Call me a chicken or a coward, but I don’t want to hurt her and I know that will.

  I feel like dirt thinking this way.

  They both show up to my house at the same time, and I swear I can see sparks shooting from their eyes as they stare each other down. This is going to be a long night. Jenny gives me a knowing smile and a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. She’s dressed as Pippy Longstocking, long, impossibly styled, pigtails — using lots of wire — dyed bright red and horribly mismatched green shirt, red pants, and black boots. My parents watched one of her movies and Jenny loved the character, for obvious reasons.

  Sam nearly sprints to the kitchen after a brief glance in my direction. Kate comes over and pecks my cheek before heading in the same direction.

  “I don’t think I’ve ever seen her blush so much,” Jenny says.

  “What are you talking about? Kate wasn’t blushing,” I inform her. She giggles at me and I feel like I’m missing something.

  “Not that one you dweeb,” she tells me with a chuckle, and then walks away. Sam? Sam was blushing? How did I miss that?

  A doorbell ring startles me from my thoughts and I go to answer it. As I get closer to the door, I suddenly start feeling like I shouldn’t open it. I have this sense of dread and anxiety. Though I have no idea who’s on the other side of that door, I know I have no desire to open it. It’s a completely irrational fear, but one that has me firmly planted with my hand on the knob, unable to will myself into turning it.

  Another ring and the fear raises.

  “Alan,” my mother yells from the kitchen, “can you answer the door please?”

  I slowly turn the knob and pull the door open. My vision tunnels as I see who is on the other side. My breathing goes erratic and I find it hard to breath. I have no idea what the news is the two men standing on my doorstep have for my family, but I know what it usually means – especially when they’re wearing their dress blues. All the bells and whistles on their uniforms are enough to give anyone pride, but all I see are two people who are staring at me with both sympathy and guilt.

  My legs finally give out and I collapse, trying to use the end table as support making it crash to the ground. The noise causes my parents and guests to come running. Sam lets out a massive gasp when she sees the two men. My parents slow, but don’t stop, as they approach the door.

  “Mr. and Mrs. Green?” the one on the left asks. My mother can only nod.

  “Yes, that’s us. Won’t you please come in,” my father motions to the couch in the living room.

  “That’s very kind of you, sir,” he says as they both remove their covers before entering the house.

  I take the time they’re talking to get myself off the ground and to the couch. As the two men describe what happened to my brother, I only catch bits and pieces. ‘Hero’ and ‘saved five men’ are words I hear and ‘shot’ is another. I try to stop my heart from breaking but that’s really hard to do.

  My mother is
a crier, a giant tear-making machine. Enough tears to fill the Grand Canyon. Despite all that, she is not a blubberer. She will not wail and scream as she cries. The most I have ever seen her do is sob, mostly silent, into my dad’s shoulder.

  This is no different.

  That’s the last thing I really remember as I black out and get lost in my memories. He would constantly bug the crap out of me, but he was the best brother I could ever have. I just sit there on the couch for a while, even after the two leave, staring into space. Everyone is silent and melancholy.

  It’s an unsettling silence, the kind where you expect a ghost to jump out of the middle of it and scare the crap out of you. It’s stifling and I suddenly feel uncomfortable being in it. Ignoring the shouts and pleas from everyone, I grab my jacket and bolt through the door. I have no idea where I’m going, but I definitely have to get out of the house. There are just too many reminders of my brother in it.

  I just run and run with no clear destination.

  My brother is dead and I couldn’t give a damn that he saved five people doing it.

  It was a lousy trade in my opinion.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Present Day

  Kate walks into my room just as the doctor and nurse finish teaching me how to care for my wound. It’s been two days since I last saw her. My mother left me some new clothes earlier and then thankfully listened to my request and left without a fight. I want to talk to Kate, alone, for a while. She allows the doctor and nurse to leave the room with an appreciative smile.

  “I want to say how happy I am to have you here right now,” I tell her as I stand to walk. My legs are still shaky, but I can use them just fine. Losing a lot of blood and lying down in bed for almost two days tends to make your body turn to mush.

  “Alan,” Kate starts.

  “Kate, we haven’t talked in a long time,” I interrupt, “I would like to get some lunch and possibly catch up a little.” I look her in the eyes; she smiles shyly and nods.