by Noah Harris
The heat and desire between them had come without being provoked by Kell. Despite being sexually intimate with one another, neither of them had ever done anything together without Kell being in the mix. Both of them had been with Kell individually, but if the two alphas were involved, it was with their omega between them.
Yet Kell wasn’t here, and Ash was feeling a desire for his friend that he hadn’t known since they were young. There had been nights, fitfully spent and filled with an unspent desire, where Ash had pondered what it would be like to be with Johnny. In truth, if it hadn’t been for Johnny’s decision to leave the Coven and become a member of the Pack, Ash might have one day felt bold enough to make a move. Now, with both of them as established alphas, there was no chance, even as he wanted it.
Johnny’s motions slowed and his gaze turned to questioning as he peered at Ash. Unknowingly, Ash had gone stiff and resistant to Johnny’s attempts to continue dancing. Whether it was that or because Johnny sensed something through their bond, Ash didn’t know. Whatever the reason, Johnny had noticed and was watching Ash as if waiting for an answer.
Ash gave him a smile, hoping it didn’t look as fake as it felt and resumed his movements. Johnny watched him carefully, his own dance becoming automatic. Whatever rhythm they’d built together was gone. Their dance felt disjointed and awkward, no longer the alluring display of their bodies and intentions.
Johnny leaned his face forward again. “Do you want to go? We got what we needed for now, right?”
It was said casually, but Ash could feel Johnny’s disappointment. Without Kell around, the connection between he and Johnny was spotty and diminished. But there was enough there for him to have felt Johnny’s pure rage and fear before, and the sense that something had been lost in the brief moment of Ash’s hesitation.
Had Johnny’s dancing been more than just a well-executed act? His friend had never done anything to make him think he was interested in Ash for more than first the friendship, and then as an equal companion to his relationship with Kell. Ash couldn’t imagine Johnny, who had been living with his werewolf instincts for far longer, would be any more comfortable with a true pull between them than Ash was.
Johnny nodded, reading the answer in Ash’s face and pulling away. Immediately, Ash felt a sense of loss and desperation as Johnny’s body drifted away from his own. He wanted to grab hold of the man, yank him close and kiss him more fiercely than ever before. They’d shared kisses before, but Ash wanted to make this one more intense and passionate than any they’d had before. He wanted to see Johnny’s eyes sharpen with lust and feel his cock harden against him.
Instead, he allowed himself to follow close behind Johnny, but avoiding touching him too much. The lightness which had been in Johnny’s face had disappeared, replaced by a shadow of some thought Ash was afraid to ask about. The crowd parted for them where it began to thin, and Ash felt some of their gazes watching them. He didn’t imagine they made as enticing a couple as they had before, and the thought brought an ache to his chest.
He wished he could take that moment of hesitation back, if only to bring the excitement and interest back to Johnny once again. It would be easy to reach out, take hold of Johnny and pull him back into the kiss Ash had almost dared to give.
An image of Kell, staring at him awkwardly as he’d accidentally walked in on a naked Ash rose in his mind. When he’d found Kell staring at him, desire in his eyes, hadn’t Ash felt the same mixture of lust and guilt he felt watching Johnny grind on him? The same mixture which had followed him around the entire time he’d been trying to keep Kell safe, all while being constantly drawn to the omega. It was only now that he knew the latent werewolf instincts inside of him, despite being buried and sealed away, had still been strong enough to draw him to the omega.
Yet his draw to Johnny couldn’t be explained away with something as simple as instincts beyond his control. If he felt guilty about his feelings toward Kell, shouldn’t he feel even more because of his desire for Johnny? His feelings were not the product of the wolfen half of his soul influencing his emotions, something that couldn’t be controlled or stopped. They were lust, and a sudden desire to simply kiss his best friend took hold of him.
If he’d felt like a homewrecker and intruder with Kell, it was worsened by his feelings for Johnny. He watched the man’s face catch the light once more, and Ash’s heart ached. There was so much he wanted to say, but he couldn’t summon the necessary courage. The three of them had the perfect setup, and they were happy with the way things were. Ash couldn’t risk the stability and joy the three of them had built, especially with everything else in the world going to hell.
Johnny stopped, turning his head to look at Ash sidelong. For a heartbeat, the two men stared at one another and then Johnny took hold of Ash’s hand. Surprised into obedience, Ash allowed himself to be pulled toward the entrance. It wasn’t as quiet as the sealed side room, but it was far from the sound system, and they could talk without having to yell. The doorman was gone and there were only a few people in the room talking quietly. They paid little attention to them save for a few interested glances, before returning to their conversation.
Ignoring the group of people, Johnny eyed him. “Do you want to tell me why you’re acting so strange?”
Ash looked away. “It’s fine, I was just thinking about things too hard. A bit ironic when I was doing it to try and distract you.”
“You were dancing only to distract me?” Johnny asked.
Ash blinked, not sure if he’d said something wrong. “I remembered how much you loved to dance when we were younger. And well, it wasn’t like you were getting along with Earl, so I thought…it would work out better that way. I wasn’t expecting…”
Johnny raised his brow at Ash’s pause and waited until Ash decided to speak again. Ash struggled to think of what to say, cursing himself for letting his mouth get ahead of his mind. Johnny raised a brow, looking expectant. Ash realized he wasn’t just waiting for Ash to talk, but was waiting for something specific.
“What do you want me to say?” Ash asked.
“I want you to say why you looked like you were having a good time with me out there, only to now look like you want to find the nearest hole and hide in it. I thought everything was good, I was enjoying myself and then, this,” Johnny said.
“I’m not trying to cause any problems Johnny. If anything, I toed that line by coming into things between you and Kell,” Ash said.
Johnny frowned. “What does you being with Kell and I have anything to do with this? You’re not some intruder, or some outsider who only gets to visit. You’re a part of who we are now Ash. So there’s no line for you to have toed…or anything like that.”
“It felt like that, in the beginning,” Ash said nervously.
“Does it still?” Johnny asked.
“No.”
“Okay, then I’m failing to understand what the problem is here.”
Johnny’s exasperation was understandable, but Ash was afraid to help him. He wasn’t sure what he feared more, that Johnny would share his feelings, or that Johnny would reject them. Either way, they’d risk changing their relationship irrevocably. Ash had already lost Johnny once, he knew he wouldn’t be able to stomach doing so again. Knowing it meant the possibility of losing Kell as well kept his tongue still and he looked down at his feet.
“I have never known you to be shy or bashful the entire time we’ve known one another. What could be holding you back?” Johnny asked.
He looked up, tilting his head as he heard the teasing tone in his voice. Johnny knew what was wrong, or at least had a very good idea, and was trying to goad Ash into telling him.
Ash stopped, going wide eyed. “Uh oh.”
His sense of reality began to bend around him, his body growing fuzzy and frazzled. His head spun, but there was no nausea, only the odd sense of disconnecting from everything around him. He was floating away from his body, pulled by his innate powers into a realm separate fro
m time.
In the darkness, a brilliant wave of color grew on the horizon and he felt himself yanked toward it. A moment later, he was surrounded by light and life. After concentrating, he realized he was seeing the partygoers around him, but with their vibrant, happy auras. With his second sight, the dim room was a riot of color.
The vision shifted and he was hovering in the elevator shaft leading to the basement. Darkness wound itself around three figures standing in the descending cab, two men and one woman. For Ash, it was as if their shadows had come to life, clinging to their bodies and devouring the light around them. There was an ugly hate in those auras, and a deadly purpose lurking within them.
Ash watched, the doors slid open and the man standing at the front spotted Johnny and Ash in the opposite corner. They were quick, and in a flurry of movement, they yanked weapons out from beneath their clothes. The vision version of himself shoved Johnny out the way and a loud bray of an automatic weapon cut through the din of the music.
The vision broke, and he was once more back in the side room, in his own body. Johnny was staring at him, his playful look gone and replaced with one of concern.
“Kell?” Johnny asked nervously.
Ash glanced toward the large room. “No, us.”
There hadn’t been much time between the events of the dream and what was happening now. Ash sensed from the vision that it was one he could avoid, but only if he acted fast. The three assailants would be out in the crowd, looking for them.
“We need to go,” Johnny guessed.
“No time.”
Panic settled in as Ash frantically tried to figure out what they could do. They could return to Earl, but unless the man had a secret exit from the basement they’d be caught with a crowd of innocent people between them and the weapons.
The elevator dinged and Ash ripped his mask off. Without thinking he took hold of Johnny and yanked him toward him. As his back slammed into the wall, he felt Johnny’s mouth slam against his. Johnny was taut with surprise as he almost fell onto Ash, catching himself on the wall and Ash’s chest.
Ash grabbed the back of Johnny’s head and held the startled man in place as the trio stepped out from the elevator. Johnny seemed to realize what was happening and pressed himself closer to Ash. The group of partygoers nearby chuckled as the sight of them but were either too drunk or worse, immune to it, to care.
Ash was more interested in the three armed people he suspected were either Vigil or Cult. His eyes closed to slits, tracking their movements as they passed through the small lobby. The man at the front barely glanced at him and Johnny as he led the way to the door.
One of the drunk party goers spoke up. “Hey, you have to have a mask on. This is a masquerade party.”
A woman giggled. “They’re wearing masks Mark.”
“That’s their faces Nora, don’t be rude,” the man said through his chuckles.
The armed trio ignored them, shoving open the doors and entering the party. Once the doors closed, Ash eased back against the wall. It was then he realized his lips were still pressed to Johnny’s and his friend’s grip had tightened around him, pulling him closer.
Ash grunted in surprise, pushing at Johnny to try and gently nudge him away. With a reluctance Ash felt too, Johnny pulled away. Ash’s heart skipped a beat when he saw a flush of color in Johnny’s cheeks, and desire mingled with wariness in his eyes.
“Should we warn Earl?” Johnny asked, glancing toward the door.
Ash grabbed him, hurrying toward the elevator. “Probably not a good idea. They’re looking for us, and so long as they don’t see us they’ll behave themselves.”
Johnny reached out, stopping the elevator doors from closing so they could enter quickly. “Vigil?”
Ash shook his head, punching the button for the main floor. “Not sure. After the conversation we had with Earl, it could be the Cult too. I don’t know what to think anymore.”
Johnny said nothing as the doors closed, and the gentle hum of the elevator’s motor filled the silence. Ash’s lips still tingled with the effects of the kiss and he had to resist the urge to run his finger along them.
“So, a kiss eh?” Johnny asked casually.
Ash ducked his head, chuckling nervously. “It was the only thing I could think of in such a short amount of time. It worked, didn’t it?”
Ash felt it coming a moment before it happened. He looked up, seeing the heat in Johnny’s gaze as he watched Ash like a hawk. It wasn’t the bond that told Ash what was coming, it was the look in Johnny’s eyes, and the way his body coiled, as if preparing to strike. He had a moment to reach out, to say something, to stop what was coming.
And he remained silent.
Johnny closed the distance between them, shoving himself against Ash and kissing him hard. Ash growled deeply, gripping hard onto Johnny and yanking him until their bodies were flush. Heat poured off Johnny’s body, warming Ash’s skin and sending an arcing bolt of desire to his groin.
Johnny moaned, his fingers curling into a tight grip in Ash’s hair and held tight. Pain mingled with pleasure and desire, and Ash felt himself grow hard. Johnny rutted against him, and Ash gave a groan of his own as he felt Johnny’s denim covered cock grind against his own.
The kiss was electric, working its way through his body and mind. The dance had been erotic and alluring, but had left Ash with a sense that they were doing something wrong. In the confines of the elevator, with no one but the two of them, he felt something click into place. He could smell Johnny, rich and earthy, and felt both the comfort of the familiar and loved, and the erotic twinge of pure desire filling him.
How many times had they kissed? How many times had they taken hold of one another in the dark of their shared bed with Kell, helping the other to come? Yet those moments had been lust, with a shared passion for Kell, and their mutual love for one another. Feeling Johnny’s mouth against his, wanting to rip his clothes from him and take Johnny in his mouth once again, sharing the pleasure between just the two of them, suddenly felt right. It was the realization of all his boyhood fantasies and desires, and perhaps even the secret ones the grownup Ash had held in his breast.
It wasn’t a replacement or a filler for Kell. Ash’s love and desire for Kell was undiminished, even as Johnny’s tongue danced along his. He wanted Kell as much as ever, but this kiss was the honest reflection of his desire for Johnny as well. For all they had shared, they’d never crossed the line, never allowed themselves to be with just one another. Now that they had, Ash felt in the depths of his being exactly what it was.
The final piece of their three-way puzzle.
Johnny
The ding of the elevator pierced through the haze of Johnny’s desire. He snapped back, remembering they were in a potentially dangerous situation and stepped away from Ash instinctively. The larger man was gazing at him with a glazed expression, his fingers going to his swollen lips. Ash looked both stunned and intensely aroused, and a bit like he didn’t know which one he wanted to settle on.
Johnny glanced away, feeling a wash of shame pour over him. Ash had kissed him in the lobby as a distraction, and Johnny had let it get to his head. Rather than treating it as the tactic it was, he’d allowed himself to take it too far.
There had been many times when they’d been young when Johnny had spent his private moments dreaming of exactly what he’d just done. To a young Johnny, Ash had been everything he’d ever wanted. Ash had been noble and true, always standing by his friends and willing to do what was necessary to get things right. Ash was the strongest person Johnny had ever known until he’d met Kell and even then, he still didn’t know who was the toughest. In Johnny’s younger mind, Ash was a bright, shining beacon, a hope for something better.
It wouldn’t have been an exaggeration to say he’d been in love with Ash, or as much as he could be without reciprocation. He’d never dared speak of his feelings to anyone, let alone act upon them. Instead, he’d nursed his feelings in private, in the dark o
f the night when he could take care of them alone.
He’d known damn well what others would have said if he’d told them about his feelings for Ash. Relationships between alphas were frowned upon, and Johnny’s tendency to question things which were expected to be true tended to cause him enough trouble. He knew Ash had suffered for his friendship with Johnny, even if he never said anything. However, that fact had made him fall for the man even more, wishing he could improve their world one day, giving them the chance to be together.
Johnny laughed jaggedly at himself, remembering how strongly his teenage self had believed in the two of them. It was before he’d grown cynical of the idea of fate, and then just mistrustful. When he’d believed that he and Ash were destined to be with one another, and that they would one day find a way.
Perhaps it had been that hope which drove Johnny to be so bold, and to kiss Ash without hesitation. The past several months with Ash and Kell had been the best months of his life, and during that time, the old hope had been rekindled. He loved Kell fiercely, but he found there was enough room in his heart for another, for the first man he’d ever loved.
“Sorry,” Johnny muttered as he hurried along the front walk.
“For kissing me stupid?” Ash asked.
The phrasing made Johnny laugh. “Yes, that.”
“You know, I think that marks the first time anyone has ever kissed me so good I can’t think straight, and then run away, apologizing.”
Johnny stopped short, almost causing Ash to run into him. He turned on his heel, eyeing his friend cautiously. Johnny saw no humor or amusement in Ash’s eyes, only warmth and a little confusion. Despite his normal respect for Ash’s privacy, Johnny allowed the connection between them to flow into his mind. His friend was nervous, but happy, and beneath it Johnny could feel a buzz of excitement. Ash was waiting to see what Johnny would say and do, scared of what might happen, but wanting it to happen all the same.
