Ashleigh snaps a photo with her cell phone. She offers me a smile. "Why don't we try putting on a few accessories?"
"Oh, okay." I stare at my reflection. I'm wearing a fucking wedding dress. I'm getting married. This is absolutely absurd.
Lie, lie, lie. It's a lie. A façade. All I have to do is smile and act like everything is normal.
I let Natalie have her way with me. Veil. Necklace. Jeweled belt. Silver heels. She turns me to the mirror, waiting for my smile. There's a way this is supposed to go. Jumping, screaming, crying even. The whole I'm so happy I could die thing.
Eyes open, I stare at my reflection. Something rises in me, some awful feeling I don't want to deal with. I push it as deep as it will go.
The bell dings. Door opens. "Hello."
Lizzy. She's here.
Normal. I have to act normal.
She wanders into the main room. Her eyes go wide when she spots me in the dress. "Oh my God, Kat. You look beautiful."
"Doesn't she?" Ashleigh studies her work with pride. "Lose the belt I think." She turns to me. "Do you like it?"
"It's nice."
"Yeah, but do you like it? Is it the one?" Ashleigh asks.
Lizzy looks from Natalie to me. "It's really nice."
"Really nice," I say.
"But it only matters what you think," Lizzy says. "It's your wedding, and you're in charge of what you wear."
"It's only a dress," I say. "And I've got it under control."
"Yeah. You always have it under control." Lizzy drops her backpack on the floor with a pout.
My reflection is mocking me. All of this is wrong. I reach for the zipper but Natalie stops me.
She motions to Ashleigh. "Can you help Miss Wilder change? I'll show, what's your name dear?" She offers her hand to Lizzy.
"Lizzy." My sister shakes hands with Natalie.
"Let's look at bridesmaid dresses, huh?"
"Okay. Unless Kat has that under control, too."
I shoot Lizzy a death glare. Some nerve. She lied about where she was last night, and now she's acting like I'm the one withholding. My chest tightens. This whole thing was supposed to be for us.
But maybe it's just for Blake.
I rush into the private stall. It's hard with the dress so tight around my hips. No way I could sit in this thing.
Ashleigh unzips me. "You really look beautiful."
"Thanks."
"Is there anything you want to talk about?" She lowers her voice to a whisper. "I know Mr. Sterling can be very exact."
"No, it's nothing. Just... This is moving really fast."
She nods. "He is a good guy deep down."
"I bet."
"And he does care about you."
I step out of the dress. Naked in front of another person. And she seems to have the bottom line on Blake. "What are you talking about?"
"Your deal. I saw the paperwork." Her eyes soften. "Don't tell him I said anything. Please."
"I won't."
"I'm not supposed to know." She grabs another dress. "He gave me specific instructions to make sure you're happy."
"That's great."
She zips the dress. No pins this time. We trot out to the main room. Once again, I'm on display.
I stare at my reflection. I should be happy. Crying. God, if my mom was here, if I was really getting married, there would be major waterworks.
She would have loved this dress. It's gorgeous. A ball gown with a wide V-neck and a subtle flare. Lace sleeves go all the way to my wrists. There's a small bow right beneath the low v of the back.
It's perfect.
Ashleigh gasps. She's expressive. I'll give her that much. She motions for me to twirl. Fine, I twirl. The skirt twists in a gorgeous whoosh of fabric. It would make quite the panel.
I look like Cinderella.
Ashleigh pins a veil to my hair and pulls its fabric behind my head. There I am, the girl who will be standing at the altar opposite Blake.
A sob rises up in my throat. I try to push it down, but it's no good. A tear rolls down my eye. I wipe it away. Another follows. I shake my head like I'm okay. Maybe I can pretend I'm so happy I'm crying. Maybe someone will believe that.
"Excuse me." I rush back to the dress room and slam the door shut behind me. No one can see this.
"Kat." Ashleigh knocks on the door. "Are you okay?" She lowers her voice. "I can get that champagne."
"I just need a minute."
She moves away from the door. I slink to my feet, pulling my knees into my chest the best I can. The full skirt is in the way. Not even this is going right.
They're talking in the main room. It's that loud whisper. The kind of thing my parents did when we were kids.
They go quiet. Footsteps come closer. Someone knocks on the door.
"Kat, can we talk?" Lizzy asks.
I push back to my feet. Wipe the stray tears from my eyes. "Okay."
I open the door and Lizzy steps inside. She's wearing a long pink dress. She looks great, grown up. My little sister is going to be my maid of honor.
Another sob rises in my throat. No sense in pushing it away. That's a lost cause. I wipe my tears. I try to smile like I'm happy.
"Don't bullshit me," Lizzy says.
I drop the smile.
Lizzy shakes her head. "This guy is tearing you to pieces."
"That's not true."
She lowers her voice to a whisper. "Does he even care that this hurts you?"
I wipe away a tear. There's no sign Blake cares. But Lizzy is being shortsighted. "It's for a lot of money. Millions even. I can stand being miserable for a while."
"It's nothing yet. What if he demands you sign a prenup that says you get nothing?"
"He wouldn't."
"How the hell do you know that?"
"I trust him."
She shakes her head like she thinks I'm an idiot. "I'm not going to watch you fall apart over a guy who will throw you away when he's done with you. That isn't the Kat I know."
"It's not like that."
"And the Kat I know doesn't lie to me or to herself." Lizzy steps into the main room. "I have a test tomorrow. I'll see you at home. You need to think hard about this."
Lizzy disappears into one of the dressing rooms. Natalie and Ashleigh are staring at us, trying not to look horrified.
"Do you want a picture in that dress?" Natalie asks.
"No, this one is perfect," I say.
Ashleigh nods. "Excuse me." She stares at her phone and walks into the other room, shaking her head.
She calls someone in there. Blake probably.
Natalie helps me change out of the dress. She has a sympathetic look, but mercifully, she remains silent.
In the main room, a door slams. Lizzy must be leaving. Her footsteps are loud on the carpet. The front door opens and shuts with the ring of that little bell.
Natalie leaves to rearrange everything. I linger in the dressing room as long as I can. At least here there's no one watching me, no one doubting me, no one deciding what's best for me.
My reflection stares back at me. Just Kat in here. Not the billionaire's fiancée, not the older sister, not the would-be artist. Just Kat.
I'm still not sure who that is.
That front door opens again. The little bell rings. Again. There's a low voice. Ashleigh makes some dramatic noise.
I let out a sigh. She called Blake.
Great.
Another chance for him to pick me apart.
I change into my clothes and return to the main room of the store. Sure enough, Blake is standing there. Picture perfect in his sleek black suit.
"Let's get dinner," he says.
Fine. I am hungry. "Okay."
Ashleigh throws him a hurry up look. "Natalie will freak if you see the dress."
"Of course." He almost smiles.
Enough pleasantries. I push out the door. Outside, the sun is setting. Orange light streaks across the skyline. Beautiful.
But ever
ything around me feels ugly.
***
We eat at a very expensive Thai fusion restaurant. Very pretentious with a gold Buddha statue and paintings of farmers in Thailand. Like any of them could afford the prices on the dinner menu.
I pick at my red curry. Shrimp and vegetables, usually my favorite. Shrimp is another one of the many things I never let myself buy. Too expensive. I should be reveling in the spicy bite of the curry. Or the perfect crunch of the vegetables. They're fresh, like they were picked this morning. Even the rice tastes better than rice anywhere else.
My brain knows how damn good this tastes, but my tongue is utterly apathetic. Blake sits next to me at a cozy booth, eating some seafood dish with scallops and Chinese broccoli. It smells like lemon and ginger.
He has a perfect business way of eating. It's patient and clean. No hunger, no urgency, no mess. As usual, his expression is inscrutable. I haven't got a clue what's going on behind those gorgeous eyes.
I suck iced tea through my straw. No doubt Blake would have preferred some place with a full bar. He even drinks like a rich person. Whiskey on the rocks. Nothing to muddy the flavor.
He catches me watching him. His brow raises just so. "Do you want to order something else?"
I stab a shrimp with my fork and bite it in half. A warning to anyone else who would like to tell me what to do or wear or eat. "No."
"Ashleigh said—"
"Your assistant spied on me and gave you information? That's shocking." I eat the other half of the shrimp. Firm. Juicy. Faint taste of lime and whatever it is that makes red curry red.
"Don't be a child."
"Don't treat me like one." I suck iced tea until the straw makes a slurping sound. Not very ladylike, I know.
"What happened with your sister?" he asks.
I study his expression the way he studies mine. I'm sure there's more to see on my face. Blake is still a mystery. He seems concerned enough.
I shake my head. "I don't want to talk about it."
He brushes the hair from my eyes. The same thing he did last time. My body reacts the way it did last time. A calm spreads through me. It should be a crime for someone to be able to calm me down or wind me up with only the brush of his fingertips.
He stares into my eyes. "Do it anyway."
Guy thinks he can get me to crumble because he has pretty eyes. Fine. We'll talk. "She thinks you're using me."
He nods like we're talking about the weather. "Is that what you think?"
Eyes on my plate, I stab another shrimp. Can't let this food go to waste even if I'm lacking an appetite. "She made some good points."
He holds my stare.
My insides feel light. This stupid look of his is why I'm not hungry. I keep my attention on my food. "You could ask me to sign a prenup that gives me nothing. I mean, it's not that I don't think you've been generous with the apartment and her scholarship, but..."
"It's not what I promised."
"Yeah." I chew and swallow my food. Half a plate to go. I will my appetite to return. This time last month, I would have killed for a meal like this.
"Do you have a lawyer?"
I throw him my best side-eye. "No."
"I'll have my lawyer recommend someone to negotiate the prenup for you." He brushes his fingertips over my chin, tilting it so we're eye to eye again. "How much do you want?"
"Whatever would be fair."
"Stand up for yourself."
"Fuck you."
"Really, Kat. We're getting married. New York divorces can go any way. What do you think you deserve for all this?"
"Sorry, but I can't exactly look up the salary of sham wives. That information isn't out there."
"I want this to be fair for you. If you'd rather have lawyers do it, I understand. That saves you the trouble of looking greedy."
What the hell is he talking about? I nod like I understand, but I'm not really versed in all these negotiation tactics. "Right."
"How about five million?"
"What?" Breath leaves my body. Five million. He can't mean dollars. No one throws that kind of money around.
"It's less than it sounds like," he says.
"Not to me."
"Only a quarter of a percent of my net worth. A good lawyer would ask for a lot more. Ten percent probably."
"Two billion dollars? No way."
"You'd never get it, but you could negotiate more than five million."
My heart races. Five million dollars. That's an insane amount of money. That's travel the world for ten years and still have four million dollars kind of money.
I have to accept, no matter how wrong it feels.
I nod. "Okay."
He offers his hand. We shake. Five million dollars. A five with six zeros after it.
Everything inside me is light. I'm pretty sure I'm going to float away. This doesn't seem possible.
"That's a lot of money to lie to your mom," I say.
"My money though." He holds up his iced tea like he wants to toast. "Your money soon."
"Uh-huh." I pick up my glass and clink it against his. Slurp the last few drops of tea.
He runs his hand through my hair. "Will that please her?"
"Yeah, but she still has this idea that I try to stay in control of everything." I press my fingertips together. I do try to protect Lizzy, but that's my job. She's my baby sister, even if it's been a while since she's been a baby.
His expression is intense. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"No. You and your sister aren't exactly on the best terms. I'm not sure I want your advice."
"I'd like to help you."
"You are," I say. "That money is going to change my life."
"But more than that." He stares into my eyes. Brushes my hair behind my ears. "I want to make you happy."
That same flutter grows in my tummy. Blake has no idea what he's doing to me. He has no idea how unfair this is.
I take a deep breath. "You're basically my boss."
He runs his fingertips down my neck. Rubs my shoulders gently. A calm spreads through me. I'm warm all over. I'm comfortable.
It's just like the pool. I'm about to be swallowed whole but, somehow, I believe it's going to be okay.
"I care about you," he says.
I close my eyes, soaking in the feeling of his hands on my skin. I want all of this feeling. All of him.
He presses his lips into my neck. It's soft and sweet. So close to what would pass through us if we were in love. But it's a lie. If I'm not careful, I'll believe it.
If I'm not careful, I'll get my heart broken.
I clear my throat. "Let's order dessert."
His composure breaks for a second. His brow furrows. It's like he's trying to figure me out. He glances at my now mostly empty plate and nods.
"Then I'll take the subway home," I say. "I haven't narrowed down my school choices, and I'm sure you have a lot to do at the office."
He stares at me. "No."
"What do you mean no?"
"I mean you're not going home. You're coming back to my place."
"No."
"There's only one way for you to say no, Kat, and it's not that word." His expression hardens. "You're coming home with me tonight."
The nerve of this guy. Can't he see I'm trying to protect myself? Or maybe he doesn't care. He doesn't need protection. He's cool and aloof and impervious to all the pain that comes with falling in love.
I push myself out of the booth. "I'm going home by myself." I hold his stare. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be in the bathroom."
Blake’s gaze is intense. I turn away, but I can still feel it on me. I don't understand him at all. If he really cared about me, he wouldn't tease me like this. He'd realize that this whole pretending to be in love thing is fucking hard, and he'd let me have a damn break.
Panic rises up inside me. I can't do this. I can't keep pretending. It's going to destroy me. But I can't stop. Not when this kind of money is on the line. Not when th
is is the only chance I have to improve my life.
I turn the corner. Eyes on the wall, I walk to the bathroom. I won't turn back. I won't look at Blake. I won't let him get to me at all.
The bathroom is through a small hallway. I pull the door open and step inside. It's nice the way all the bathrooms in expensive restaurants are nice. The counter is marble, the mirror is smudge-free, the sink is shaped like a rectangle.
I run the water and splash it on my face. No makeup today. Nothing to wash off. I'm just Kat, or maybe the shell of Kat left by whatever Blake is doing to me.
The door opens. I stare at the mirror, trying to ignore it. Public restroom. These things happen.
"This isn't our deal."
What the fuck? That's Blake. I turn to him. Yep. That's definitely Blake. I rub my eyes and check again, just to be sure.
"This is the women's restroom," I say.
He glances at the space between the stall doors and the floor. No one else is here. It's quiet. It's clean. Hell, it's nice.
He goes to the main door and turns a lock. Figures it has a lock. Everything goes his way.
His eyes pass over me slowly. Want grows in his expression. His breath speeds. "Take off your clothes."
I step back, but I'm pressed against the sink.
His voice gets low. "Don't make me ask twice."
Chapter Eighteen
Heat rushes through my body. I blush. I've been naked a lot today, but it was never in this context. Never the way I wanted it.
I hold Blake's gaze. He's as intense as always but there's something touchable about him. Right now, I understand him. I understand us. He wants me and he wants me his way. I could object. I could end this with the safe word.
But I can't. This is the way I want to give myself to Blake. The only way.
I pull my sweater over my head and drop it on the floor. His eyes are fixed on me. His gaze is steady.
The undershirt next. I drop it next to my sweater. My heart races. My sex pangs. Nothing but a bra above my waist and Blake is staring at me like he wants to consume me.
All the thoughts racing around my brain quiet. Right now, I'm Blake's and he's mine. That's what matters.
I unhook my bra and slide it off my shoulders. My nipples perk. A shiver runs over my skin. I'm on display. The way he's looking at me—I've never felt this exposed.
The Billionaire's Deal: The Complete Story: An Alpha Billionaire Romance Page 17
