Wild Thoughts

by Charity Ferrell

  His blue eyes widen, and he runs a hand over his face. That sentence changed the entire mood of the visit. “Tour? You know tours aren’t a good idea for you.”

  “That was years ago. I’ve grown up. I’m smarter. Not to mention, the pay is great, and I need the money.”

  I see the guilt form on his face. “I’m sorry about this. I promise to pay you back every dime you have to pay of your tuition. It’s my responsibility as a father to provide your education.”

  “Don’t stress about that, okay? You’ve supported me for twenty-three years. It’s about time I do it myself.”

  “A father never stops stressing about his child,” he mutters. “I feel like I failed you, spending all that money on booze and bitches, when I should’ve been saving it.”

  “Five minutes until visitation is over,” a voice says from the ceiling speakers.

  “I guess that’s our cue,” he says. “Be safe on that tour, you hear me? And keep in touch.”

  “You know I will, dad.”

  “I love you.”

  “I love you, too.”

  A few tears slip from my eyes on my way back to the Jeep.

  Chapter 13

  Knox

  “No matter how many times I’ve performed here, I fall in love with this stadium every single time,” I say, turning around to look at Libby and walking backward. “The first time was when I was fourteen. Thomas somehow convinced a singer to let me open up for her. Playing in front of thousands of people was way different than doing it on the streets. I was so nervous that I pissed myself.”

  “You’re lying,” Libby says, laughing.

  She walked in a few minutes ago, but I’ve been here for hours rehearsing for my opening show at the Staples Center tomorrow night. I want to start out with a bang and everything to be perfect.

  “I’m being completely honest. Good thing I did it before I got on stage and Thomas was smart enough to make sure I had backup clothes. Pissing yourself at fourteen is embarrassing enough, but pissing yourself in front of thousands of people would’ve been mortifying. I would’ve quit right then, moved to a different country, and started to raise sheep or some shit.”

  “Oh, don’t be so dramatic. I bet the girls would still love you, piss pants and all.” She snaps her fingers. “Those pants would probably sell for thousands on eBay, so if you have them laying around anywhere, I’d be more than happy to take them off your hands.”

  “Oh Libs, I knew you secretly wanted to get your hands in my pants.”

  “Or I want to make money off them.”

  I point down to my dick. “You can take these and sell them … if you unbuckle them with your teeth.”

  “Is it okay if I bite?”

  “That’s not nice.” I shake my head, chuckling, and then turn back around so she can follow me. I gesture towards the buffet table loaded with food that’s set up in the back room. “I had breakfast catered in for everyone. Help yourself.”

  “Thanks. I’m starving.”

  We load our plates with waffles and bacon and sit down at a table in the middle of the room.

  “So do you have a doctor’s note?”

  “Nope, and you’re not getting one,” she says, stabbing into her waffle with a fork. “And thanks for letting me leave early.”

  I tear into my bacon, savoring the taste, because I know my trainer is going to be watching everything I eat while I’m on the road. “Guess what time it is?”

  “What?”

  “Secret of the day,” I sing out.

  She groans. “I told you we aren’t playing that stupid game.”

  “Yes, we are.”

  “I hate the idea.”

  “And I love it.”

  “Fine,” she groans. “But you’re going first.”

  I lower my voice to tell her something I haven’t shared with anyone. “I’m terrified of fucking this tour up. All eyes are on me, and I’ve never had this much pressure in my life. I feel like this is going to mend or break my career. One or the other, there’s no in-between.”

  An unexpected amount of tension falls from me.

  Damn, it feels good getting that out.

  She takes a long chug of her orange juice and swallows it down with a sigh. She’s shocked by my honesty. “I visited my dad in prison yesterday. That’s why I needed to leave early.”

  I know telling me this is a big deal to her, and I’m surprised Thomas didn’t spill the beans about her dad being in prison.

  “Damn babe, that sucks. I wish you’d told me that. I wouldn’t have given you such a hard time. I feel like a jackass now.”

  “Don’t. You let me go, didn’t you? That’s all that matters. You would’ve been a jackass if you refused to let me leave.”

  I lean back in my chair, stretching my legs out. I love that she’s opening up to me. “What’s he in for?” I know I’m technically asking for another secret, and she may not answer it considering how guarded she is, but it’s worth a try.

  “You really don’t know?”

  “I told you I stay far, far away from the tabloids.”

  “Tax fraud.” She pauses. “He’s in prison for tax fraud.”

  “Not fun.” If there’s one thing my accountant has always stressed to me, it’s don’t fuck with the IRS. I pay millions in taxes every year, but I don’t mind. Taxes and the welfare system once fed me and put a roof over my head. “Is that why Thomas is always throwing out the fact that you need money?”

  “Yes. The IRS liquidated everything. His three homes, including my condo in the hills, our cars, and froze our bank accounts. They wanted their money and didn’t give a shit about how we were going to pay for our next meal. My dad took a plea to spend eight months in prison, and thankfully Mia let me move in with her.”

  “Wow, thank you for telling me that. I’ve always wondered why Thomas keeps throwing out that you need money. It’s not cool he does that.”

  “I’ve known Thomas my entire life. He’s not saying it to be rude. He gave me this job as a favor, and he knows my degree is one of the most important things to me.”

  I nod. “I get it, but I think they took your car for the sake of public safety.”

  She narrows her eyes my way but cracks a smile. “For someone who complains about my driving so much, you sure want to ride with me all the time.”

  “I told you. I hate your driving, but love your company.” I shrug. “Plus, I can do business in the car when you’re driving. If you need any more days off to visit him, let me know and I’ll make sure you’re open.”

  She nods, although I’m not sure if she actually will. She gets up, grabs our plates, and starts heading towards the trash.

  It makes me feel good she’s opening up to me, but I’m not sure why I want in so bad.

  Chapter 14

  Libby

  I chew the last bite of my sandwich and look across the couch at Mia. “So I have some news,” I tell her.

  She drops the chip in her hand. “Oh my God, you’re pregnant?”

  “What? No. Why is that the first thing that comes to your mind when I say I have news? Who do you think knocked me up? My vibrator?”

  “I don’t know,” she says, laughing. “You’ve been jittery as hell all day and then you say you have news, so I assumed it was something serious – either you’re dying or pregnant. I obviously would prefer you be pregnant over dying, so I made it my first choice.”

  “To ease your mind, I’m not dying or pregnant. I’m going to be gone for a few months.” I think the reason why I waited to tell her is because I wasn’t sure if I’d bail, and I knew if I told her in advance she’d force me to go.

  “Okay … and where are you going?” she drawls out.

  “On tour with Knox.”

  I wait for it.

  Her eyes widen, a smile hitting her lips. “You shut the hell up, Libby Graves!” I shake my head as she jumps up and throws her arms in the air. “You’re going on one of the biggest tours of the year with the hotte
st pop star in the country. You’re seriously so damn lucky.”

  Lucky? No. “I don’t even want to go, but Knox insisted he needed me there.”

  “Of course he insisted he needed you there because he wants to screw you.”

  I give her a look. “Don’t start with that again.”

  “And I think you want to screw him just as much.”

  “I don’t want to screw him or anyone else right now for that matter.”

  “You know, it’s very insulting to our friendship for you to lie straight to my face.”

  I pick up a pillow and toss it at her, hitting her straight in the nose. “Would you rather I hit you in the face.”

  She throws the pillow back at me and gives me a serious look. “I can’t wait to tell Dixon. Do you think you can get us the hookup on some good tickets to the show here?”

  “I’ll see what I can do, but I’m pretty sure you’re not hurting to pay for them.”

  “Why would I need to pay for them when I’m best friends with the girl he wants to screw?”

  I grab my phone when it beeps.

  Knox: What time are you going to be here tonight?

  Me: Whatever time you want me there.

  I reread my text after sending it.

  Whatever time you want me there?

  If that doesn’t sound suggestive, I don’t know what does.

  Knox: I like it when you say things like that.

  Me: Didn’t we talk about sexual harassment? I almost hit send, but decide to change the subject. I erase that and start typing something else. My roommate wants to know if her and her boyfriend can tag along with me tonight? I promise they won’t be in the way and I’ll do my job 100%.

  Knox: Sure, no problem at all. Call Max and make sure their names get put on the list for tickets.

  Me: Thank you.

  Knox: I got you, girl.

  I drop my phone and look over at Mia. “You better start getting ready because you’re going to the concert tonight.”

  She skips over to wrap her arms around me. “You’re seriously the best friend ever. I need to call Dixon and then shower.” She turns around and starts to head up the stairs while throwing an, “I love you,” over her shoulder.

  I arrive at the stadium three hours before the show starts.

  Knox has been here rehearsing since this morning. He’s been working his ass off to make sure this is perfect, and I hope everything goes well tonight.

  The security guard lets me through when I show him my badge, and music is already playing. Thomas waves me over to ask if I have any questions about the tour. We talk for a good thirty minutes before he tells me he’ll see me back here when the show ends.

  Knox’s dressing room is my next stop. I knock on the door and wait for him to call for me to come in before opening it. He’s sitting on the couch and sets his phone down on the table when I walk in and shut the door behind me.

  “Hey,” I greet. “Do you need anything before going on?” I feel sorry for not asking this sooner.

  He grins from ear to ear. “A good luck kiss or even a screw would be nice.” He laughs at the dirty look I give him. “Fine, fun sucker, if none of those is an option then I’m good for now, but can you make sure I have plenty of water throughout the show?”

  I smile. “I already have a case in the cooler behind the stage.”

  “You’re the best. You do a much better job at this than my mother did when she worked for me. She never asked me if I needed anything before a show. I either did it, or Thomas had it set up.”

  I smile. “I’m only doing my job.”

  “And doing a damn good job at it. I know I’ll be in good hands this tour.”

  I’m on the side of the stage watching Knox perform, and damn, can he put on a show. He’s amazing up there. He has no reason to worry about the tour hurting his career. It’s only going to look up from here.

  Sweat is dripping down his forehead as he sings and keeps up with his backup dancers. I watched him rehearse a few times, but it’s different when he’s up there performing for the crowd. You can see how much he truly loves what he’s doing.

  I have to watch him perform night after night and try to keep my panties dry. I make myself a mental note to add vibrator to my list of things to bring with me.

  “That was freaking awesome,” Mia screams, skipping my way and wrapping her arms around me. Max gave her and Dixon front row tickets and backstage passes.

  “She’s been Snapchatting the entire performance,” Dixon says, coming up behind her and tightening his hands around her waist. “Will you please tell her it’s better to enjoy the experience live? I’m not usually a fan of this genre of music, but the dude definitely has talent.”

  “He does,” I reply, and I wish he were more recognized for it.

  “So are there any plans now? Like a big after party?” Mia asks.

  “I have no idea. Even if there is, I’m not going. We’re leaving in less than a week, and I still have to make sure everything is in order.” I’m not only responsible for making sure all of my ducks are in a row, but I’m also in charge of Knox’s.

  Mia frowns. “Bummer.”

  Her frown turns into a shriek, and I turn around to see Knox behind me, a water bottle in his hand and sweat dripping from almost every inch of his skin.

  “So what did you think of your first Knox Rivers’ concert?” he asks.

  “You did amazing,” I say, smiling.

  “You rocked it,” Mia answers and then points to Dixon. “You convinced my boyfriend to join your fan club.”

  Dixon laughs, pushing his hand forward to shake Knox’s, and thanks him for the tickets.

  Knox points to Mia. “I take it you’re the roommate?”

  Mia grins from ear to ear. “Present and accounted for.” Her face goes serious. “I expect you to take care of my girl while you guys are gone.”

  “She’s in good hands,” Knox says. “It was nice meeting you, and I’m glad you had a good time. I’ve got to shower.” He squeezes my side before giving them a wave and walking away.

  Another squeal releases from Mia’s throat. “Oh my God, did you hear that? He said you’re in good hands!”

  “Get your mind out of the gutter,” I say.

  “I swear it sounded sexual.”

  “It wasn’t. Do you think the Allstate commercial is sexual when they say that?”

  “There’s a difference between the way they say it and how he did. He’s got something for you, I swear.”

  Chapter 15

  Libby

  Knox is waiting for me when I walk through his front door.

  “Come on, I have something to show you,” he tells me, excitement beaming through him.

  He tilts his head towards the hallway, and I follow him into a theater room that I’ve never been in. I slowly walk in and sit down after he falls down on the couch and pats the spot next to him.

  “Are we watching a movie?” I ask.

  He shakes his head and holds up the remote. A large screen at the forefront of the room lights up.

  He peeks over at me and throws his hands out, gesturing to the screen. “Say hello to the world’s hottest music video starring the world’s hottest people.”

  My head begins to spin, and the urge to jump up and flee the room itches at me. I’ve been so scared of this day and honestly don’t even want to see the final product.

  “I know you’ve been blowing me off every time I’ve tried to show you clips, but you’re going to stay here and watch it, even if I have to make you sit on my lap so you can’t move.” He nudges me with his elbow. “Especially since you’re the star of it.”

  I snort. “I doubt anyone will even notice me, considering you’re shirtless and all.”

  He chuckles and hits play. “We’ll see about that.”

  I hold in a breath when the music starts.

  We don’t say a word, and I can’t drag my eyes away from the screen – away from us. I tap my fingers to the beat
, trying my best to settle my nerves.

  “Sunshine, they are definitely going to be noticing you. This video is amazing. You look amazing.” His eyes focus on me. “And don’t you dare try to deny it. You might want to rip my head off sometimes and talk about how you’re not attracted to me, but there is absolutely no question we have sexual chemistry.”

  “Maybe I’m a good actress,” I say, using the same excuse I did last time, even though I completely agree with him.

  The video is steamy, and if the actress were anyone other than myself, I would’ve sworn they were definitely screwing. And that’s exactly what everyone is going to assume about us.

  I’m suddenly reminded of every emotion I felt and how aware my body was of his as I watch him pin me against the wall. My face is flush, my eyes burning with need, and Knox is right, it’s definitely the hottest music video I’ve ever seen.

  My heart nearly stops when our lips meet. I’m into it, so damn into it. You can see the desire, my need for him, crashing through me like an eruption, and it only gets stronger when he takes me to the bed. I want to slam my eyes shut, but I can’t stop staring at us, at our connection and how beautiful it is.

  I shiver, remembering how captivating his soft lips felt against my bare stomach as he kissed his way up my chest, briefly hitting my cleavage.

  He got me that worked up only kissing me. I can only imagine how talented he is in a real bedroom.

  “Delete and reshoot it,” I say, my face serious when the video ends.

  His jaw goes slack, and the remote falls from his fingers into his lap. “Are you being serious?”

  I wait a few seconds before cracking a smile. “I’m kidding.”

  He bumps my shoulder with his. “I swear, girl, you’re always trying to break my heart.”

  Now I have to get myself ready to fight off the rumors that I’m banging People’s Hottest Man in the World.