Our Dirty Little Secrets

by Zane Michaelson

  “I don’t take anything you say seriously, so why would I take any notice of what those money grabbing whores you drink with at the tennis club tell you?”

  “It’s nothing to do with my friends at the club. But, you’ll be surprised who did tell me.”

  “Oh, fuck off. You’re bluffing.”

  “Why did you marry me, Chad?” she asked. “Tell me the truth for once.”

  The question floored him, and before he could stop himself, the words escaped his lips. “So I didn’t lose my inheritance.”

  He stood and stared at her, wishing he could take the words back. It wasn’t fair of him to lay that at her door.

  But, it was too late.

  Melissa knew their marriage was a sham – he could see it in her eyes.

  “I hate you,” she said, as tears streamed down her cheeks.

  Chad reached out, wanting to console her, but she pulled away. She shrugged off his touch.

  “Mel, I’m sorry – I didn’t mean it.”

  “It’s the first time in years you’ve been honest with me.” She sobbed. “I married you because I loved you, but you married me for money.”

  “I didn’t mean it like it sounded.” He tried to backtrack and reached out for her again.

  Once again, she shrugged him off.

  “Just once, I wish you could've made love to me like you actually loved me, rather than like you were thinking of somebody else.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  I walked down the stairs, feeling refreshed after a long soak, washing away my cares until tomorrow.

  “Dinner smells delicious,” I said, walking into the dining room.

  “Good, I’ve made plenty.”

  Jenna put the plates on the table, steam coming from the food.

  I sat next to her and tucked in, only stopping to slug my beer in between each mouthful.

  Sex with Chad had left me ravenous.

  “Are you feeling better now?” I asked.

  “Yes, I’m fine – must have been a twenty four hour thing.”

  “You finished?”

  She’d swiped the plate from me before I had time to answer. “Go and settle down on the sofa. I’ll be in soon and we can watch the movie before dessert.”

  “What movie is it?”

  “I can’t remember – it’s one of those dodgy copies so I hope we can see it alright.”

  “I don’t know why you bother – you know I hate pirate copies. I’d rather buy the proper version.”

  She huffed. “Well, we’ll give it a go, and if it’s no good, we can catch up on Game of Thrones.”

  I settled onto the sofa, my mind buzzing with thoughts of Chad and the row we’d had earlier.

  Jenna came in and plonked herself down next to me. She grabbed the two remote controls from the occasional table at the side of the sofa and turned the television on.

  “You ready?” she asked.

  “Yep,” I replied, not really in the mood to watch anything, let alone a crappy copy of a movie she couldn’t even remember the title of.

  The screen flickered to life and as I suspected, the copy was terrible.

  “I can’t watch this,” I grumbled.

  “It’ll get better in a minute, just watch,” she replied, sounding irritable.

  I groaned and continued to watch.

  Weird guttural-like moaning sounds mixed with somebody’s heavy breathing echoed from the surround sound speakers. “What the hell is this?” I asked, my patience wearing thin. “Have you borrowed a porno from Ellie?”

  “Something like that,” she replied.

  I focused on the television, but out the corner of my eye, I could see Jenna watching me.

  “Oh, this is shit,” I said. “Turn it off and we’ll watch something else.”

  “Hang on, the good part is coming up.”

  I turned my focus back to the television and felt my mouth drop open

  “What the fuck?” I could feel the panic rising as I watched myself and Chad at Coastal Way.

  The guttural sounds were coming from me.

  I turned to face Jenna, but she’d turned away, her head down. Tears dripped onto her lap. She choked back a sob and I reached over to touch her, terrified she knew everything, yet wanting desperately to comfort her.

  “Don’t,” she barked, glowering at me. “Touch me.”

  “I can explain,” I tried to say as she jumped off the sofa and ran into the kitchen.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Jenna was stood at the sink, staring out of the window when I walked in.

  “I can explain.”

  “I don’t want to hear it,” she spat.

  “Who sent you the recording?”

  “Is that all you care about? You’re in the woods being screwed by your friend and that’s all you care about?”

  “I wanna know.”

  “Then I’ll tell you,” she said, spinning around, her face flushed red with anger. “Nobody sent it – I filmed you both. Does that make you feel better?”

  I was stumped and didn’t know what to say.

  “Erm,” I said.

  “Is that it?” she laughed. “No I’m sorry for cheating? No I’m sorry you had to see that?”

  “How did you know?”

  “I’ve known all along – since the day he fucked you in your office. You didn’t know you’d dialed me accidentally and I heard it all.”

  “And you said nothing all this time and let it carry on – are you twisted?”

  I didn’t see the slap coming, but seconds later I felt it.

  “Don’t turn this around on me,” she screamed.

  Jenna charged out of the kitchen and stormed up the stairs, rushed into the bedroom and locked the door behind

  I ran after her, grabbing the door handle, trying to open the door.

  “Open the fucking door, Jenna.” I banged on the door.

  “I don’t wanna talk to you,” she screamed.

  “We need to fix this.”

  “There’s nothing to fix,” she replied. “Go away or I’ll call the police.”

  “Please, open the door,” I begged.

  “I won’t warn you again – leave me alone or I’ll call the police, then I’ll call Daddy and ask him to come over.”

  She knew how to push my buttons. I couldn’t take the risk she would call the police as I was too well known. This sort of gossip would spread like wild fire, so I did as she asked and went downstairs.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chad reached out again, but she pulled away. “Mel, I’m sorry – I didn’t mean it.”

  “I’m leaving you and should have done it years ago, but before I go, your dirty little secret is out.”

  “What dirty little secret?”

  “You and your old college buddy, Zane,” she answered. “His wife knows everything.”

  “There isn’t anything to know,” he protested. “Zane's just a friend, and nothing more. He’s married with kids for fucks sake.”

  Melissa slugged the rest of her drink and laughed. “And you really think that little fact means anything? You’re married, but it didn’t stop you fucking around all these years, did it? I’ve gotta give you kudos though -- even I’d never have guessed it was men you were screwing around with.”

  “You’ve got it wrong,” he said, in a last-ditch attempt to salvage his marriage and stop her from ruining him.

  “For years I wondered how I could make things better between us, but I never stood a chance, and you know why?”

  “You’ve got it all wrong.”

  Melissa ignored his comment. “Because I can’t compete with a man.” Her voice cracked with emotion. “All this time I blamed myself for how things turned out between us, but, I didn’t stand a chance. A woman I could compete with, yes, but a man? Never. Well, not unless you want to dress up in women’s clothes and let me use a strap on?”

  She left the words hanging in the air.

  “Don’t be so facetious, Mel. It doesn�
�t suit you.”

  “You know, for the first time in years, I feel free. Like a weight’s been lifted, but d’you know what the worst part about all of this is?”

  “Mel, don’t do this.”

  “You could have told me the truth, and I would’ve walked away from our marriage with my love and respect for you intact, but now, I will walk away, and I don’t care if you rot.”

  Chad’s voice cracked. “I’m so sorry, Mel,” he said, trying to keep his emotions out of it. He had no right to feel anything, but shame. “I didn’t know how to tell you, hell, I didn’t even know myself.”

  “Goodbye, Chad,” she replied, leaning in to kiss his cheek. “Don’t be here when I come down with my cases.” She walked up the stairs.

  Chad walked to the front room in a daze. He didn't know whether to call Zane and warn him, but he had to try and dialled his number.

  Chapter Twenty

  I had a sleepless night in the spare room.

  What were Chad and I thinking?

  Both of our marriages were in tatters.

  Melissa had packed her bags and left last night and Jenna had locked herself in our bedroom.

  At seven am, I called my assistant to tell her I was too ill for work and to cancel everything for the next few days. I made it clear I wasn’t to be disturbed.

  I got out of bed and got dressed, needing a coffee.

  Walking into the kitchen, Jenna was smoking a cigarette. I was immediately annoyed. She hadn’t smoked since we first met.

  “Those things will kill you,” I said with as much sarcasm as I could muster.

  She glowered at me, taking a long drag and blowing smoke in my direction.

  I opened the French doors.

  Just then, I heard my mobile phone beeping in the other room. Shit, why didn’t I take it to bed with me last night?

  “Is that him?” Jenna asked.

  “I don’t know,” I replied. “I’m not psychic.”

  “I’ll check, shall I?” She raced out of the kitchen.

  “Jenna, no.” I dashed after her, but she’d got hold of my phone.

  “Give me the phone please.”

  “Why? There’s nothing else I don’t know, is there?”

  “Don’t do this to yourself.”

  Jenna stared at the screen and I knew she was reading the messages. Why didn’t I turn it off and lock it last night?

  “Love. Ha,” she shrieked, but I didn’t know the context to her comment.

  “Jenna?” I asked.

  “Your boyfriend is in love with you. Did you know that?”

  “He’s not my boyfriend,” I argued.

  “Were you so out of it at Coastal Way you didn’t hear him say it?”

  “I know he loves me, but I’ve told him I don’t feel the same way.”

  “How touching,” she mocked. “Unrequited love.”

  She put the phone on the arm of the chair and grabbed her car keys and walked toward the door.

  “Where’re you going?”

  “I’m going to see your boyfriend.”

  “No, you’re not,” I stated, standing in her way.

  “And you’re coming too. I want to hear you tell him you don’t love him.”

  “I’m not going there to taunt him,” I said, knowing how she would take my refusal.

  “Don’t want to upset him. Is that it? Well, fuck you. I’ll go alone and tell him myself.”

  She charged out the door and I followed.

  “Jenna,” I shouted, desperate to stop her. “Wait.”

  “If you’re coming, you can drive yourself.”

  She jumped into her car and sped off.

  I was a minute behind her, but in that time, I’d lost sight of her car.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  I arrived at Chad’s just before Jenna and wondered how many laws I’d broken getting there.

  As I climbed out of my car, she arrived, the brakes screeching to a halt. She looked furious I’d beaten her to it.

  “There’s no point putting yourself through this,” I said, rushing up to Jenna as she marched up the pathway to Chad’s house.

  I stood in her way, foolishly thinking I could dissuade her.

  “Get out of my way, you lying, sneaky, filthy, sack of shit,” she screamed, pushing past me, and I thanked God that Chad had no neighbours to consider.

  “Jenna, please, you’ve got the wrong end of the stick.”

  I’d said the wrong thing, as faster than lightning, she spun around on her heels and slapped me with a force I wouldn’t have thought possible for somebody with her petite frame.

  “Ow,” I shouted as my cheek began to sting and throb.

  “Did it hurt?" she bellowed in my face.

  “Yes, it did,” I replied.

  “GOOD,” she screamed.

  Just then, the front door opened, and Chad was standing there wearing grey jogging bottoms and a white vest.

  “Zane,” he asked, looking confused, his eyes darting back and forth from me to Jenna. “What’s going on?”

  “Don’t you dare speak to my husband like you don’t have a clue,” Jenna interjected, charging toward Chad, her hand raised, poised to strike. “Don’t you fucking dare.”

  I’d never seen Jenna display such rage and hatred in all the years we’d been together, and I feared for Chad’s safety. She seemed unhinged.

  “Jenna, I'm sorry,” he said.

  "I invited you into my home."

  I prayed she wouldn’t slap him too. It would solve nothing in the long run, and it seemed she thought better of it. But her finger was right up in his face, her hand trembling.

  "Please, can we talk about this calmly?" he said, pleading. “Come inside.”

  She wasn’t going to be talked around – I could see that.

  Chad’s words and calm demeanor did nothing to break the rage, and her voice rose several octaves, until it was almost ear splitting volume. "And all the while you were sniffing round my husband like a dog on heat.”

  “If you say so,” he said, dismissively.

  At that moment, I knew he was done for and I watched, as though in slow motion, her arm pull back. Then, without warning, she punched him.

  I looked on in horror as blood gushed from his nose.

  Jenna stepped back, putting her hand across her mouth. I knew she hated the sight of blood. She bent over and vomited all over the path, before dropping to her knees, wiping her mouth on the sleeve of her coat. Her anguished cries echoed around the garden of Chad’s home.

  What had I done?

  Chad had taken his vest off, and pressed it against his nose, but I could see the look in his eyes.

  Even then, with all the drama, I couldn’t take my eyes off his body.

  I knelt to try and comfort Jenna, but she pushed me away, and forced herself back to her feet, charging at Chad once again.

  This time, he had the sense to keep his mouth shut.

  “Come on, Jenna. Let me take you home.” I placed my hand gently on her elbow to guide her.

  My nerves settled a touch as she appeared to allow me to escort her down the pathway.

  “When will I see you again?” Chad asked, and my heart sank. Why couldn’t he keep his mouth shut?

  With that, Jenna twisted around and once again charged up the path. She didn’t strike him, but was right up in his face.

  “He’s mine,” she screamed, her eyes bloodshot and crazy looking from crying and screaming. “And there’s nothing you can do about it.”

  Chad looked deep into her eyes and replied, “If you were so sure of that, you wouldn’t be here now.”

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Standing helpless, I witnessed their heated exchange.

  I’d caused this mess and had no right to try and get out of facing up to the consequences.

  “I’m here now because I read your text message.”

  “So?”

  “He doesn’t love you, don’t you get that?”

  “And y
ou’re sure of that? You don’t know the half of it,” he taunted.

  “I know everything. The hotels, the dogging sites...” Jenna glared at me.

  Chad laughed.

  I wanted to punch him.

  “What?” She knocked the wind out of me.

  “You heard me,” she hissed.

  “And you let us carry on?” Chad said. “You don’t deserve him.”

  “Chad, shut it,” I threatened. “Don’t speak to my wife like that.”

  “Deserve him,” she cried. “I let it go on and told myself it would be okay. If you made him happy, we’d be happy again -- and we were happy. It was just sex. So what? Zane was still mine, and the girls would still have their Daddy. But, no, it wasn’t enough for you.” She pointed to Chad. “Was it? You couldn’t just have that one part of him.”

  I was flummoxed to my core. Jenna knew everything and shame overtook me completely.

  “I love him,” Chad answered.

  Jenna laughed in his face. “But he doesn’t love you,” she hissed. “He loves me and you can’t do a thing about it.”

  “I don’t believe that,” Chad replied.

  “Are you truly that arrogant to think a big cock is all it takes to win his heart?”

  “I know he loves me too.”

  Jenna turned to me. Her eyes blazing with rage. “Don’t you have anything to say, Zane?”

  “What do you want me to say?”

  “Tell him,” she screamed.

  I looked at Chad. My marriage was hanging by a very thin thread. I didn’t want to break his heart, but I didn’t want to lose my wife and children.

  Chad looked at me, but I had no other choice.

  “I’m sorry, Chad. I’m not in love with you.”

  I took a step back and looked at the two people before me. Both in love with me, and both broken hearted.

  Chad didn’t say another word, simply turned round and walked back into his house, closing the door behind him.

  “Jenna, come on,” I said. “We should go.”

  She didn’t talk to me, but got back into her car and drove off.

  I didn’t think it wise to follow, so made my way home, knowing she’d come back when she was ready.

  Chapter Twenty Three