His E-Mail Order Wife

by Kristi Gold

  “It is.” She turned away and headed toward the hall, but paused and faced him again, her heart in her beautiful brown eyes. “One other thing. I prefer you tell your family that the breakup was my idea. I don’t want them knowing the truth about your deception or Lilly’s.”

  Kristina was thinking about his and his grandmother’s reputation at the expense of her own. Another reminder of her goodness, and exactly what he would be losing if he couldn’t convince her to give him one more chance.

  When she turned away again, Drew called, “Kristina, wait.”

  She responded with “What?” but didn’t afford him even a glance over her shoulder.

  He wanted to tell her how much she meant to him, that he had fallen in love with her, intended or not. The words lodged in his throat. After what he’d done to her, they would sound false no matter how sincere the sentiment. Instead, he said the only thing he could think to say. “I’m sorry. For everything.”

  “So am I,” she said, her voice laced with tears. “I’m especially sorry I fell in love with you.”

  With that, she disappeared into the hall, leaving Drew alone with his guilt, the familiar sorrow as his only companion.

  The anger came with the force of a jackhammer, and he aimed it at the coffee table, clearing away the magazines and knickknacks with one sweep of his arm. He felt no better for his tantrum, so he headed for the phone, determined to vent his anger on the woman who had caused this whole mess.

  When Lilly answered, he lowered his voice and kept a tight rein on his temper in deference to her station in his family, but he was no less angry with her. “Grandmother. At my house, 7:00 a.m. on the dot. Be here.”

  He wasn’t going to give up on Kristina without a fight, even if that meant recruiting his grandmother into the battle. After all, this was her doing. All of it.

  No matter what happened, he would forever be grateful to Lilly for bringing Kristina into his life. Now if he could only convince Kristina to stay.

  Kristina packed the last of her things and set the suitcases by the bedroom door. Before she left the room, she returned to the bathroom and splashed cold water on her face. Regardless, her eyes were still red rimmed from hours of crying and no sleep. She imagined she would spend several weeks, maybe even months, nursing her wounds.

  Luckily her friend Tori had offered to share her apartment until Kristina could find another place of her own. But after living in a house that she had begun to consider her home, any place would seem terribly empty, even in the company of her best friend. Still, she had no choice. She wouldn’t stay with a man who pitied her. She wanted more than that. She deserved more than that.

  Gathering the suitcases, Kristina moved sluggishly into the hall and paused at Amanda’s room. She nudged the door open with her elbow just so she could take a moment to study the little girl whom she loved as much as if she were her own.

  She didn’t want to wake Mandy to deliver the news. She needed time to consider how she would tell her. Tonight she would return and have a talk with Mandy, try to explain, as long as Drew agreed to vacate the premises. Though she had failed to say an actual goodbye to him last night, her message had been loud and clear. She couldn’t stay involved in his life if she couldn’t trust him, trust his motives.

  Moving down the stairs, she heard voices coming from the den, surprised that Drew would have a visitor so early in the morning. She remembered that Tobias had been there that first morning, and she wondered if he’d stopped by. She also wondered what Drew would tell his grandfather, or if perhaps he already knew. She couldn’t worry about that now.

  Drawing in a cleansing breath, Kristina started down the stairs. But Tobias wasn’t the mystery guest. Lilly, her bright blue eyes full of remorse, waited at the bottom landing.

  “Hello, Lilly,” Kristina said politely, unsure of what to do or say next.

  “Good morning, dear. I’m pleased that I’ve caught you before your departure.”

  Kristina set her bags at her feet, deciding to give Lilly a few moments of her time. Regardless of what the woman had done, Kristina couldn’t help but believe that Lilly’s scheme had come from well-meaning intentions, even if it had been deceitful.

  Lilly leaned heavily on her cane, then sighed. “I suppose there’s not much I can say to convince you how very sorry I am. Perhaps grandmother doesn’t always know best.”

  Kristina shrugged. “It’s done, Lilly. All’s forgiven.”

  “Yet you haven’t forgiven my grandson.”

  “I’ll forgive him in time,” Kristina said. “But I can’t forget his dishonesty. I can’t trust him.”

  “Oh, but you can trust him, Kristina. You can trust that he’s sitting in the den with a heartache the size of Lake Michigan. He’s been up all night trying to find some way to convince you to stay.”

  “I can’t, Lilly. I refuse to be tied to a man who has me in his life because he pities me.”

  Lilly’s features went stern. “He has you in his life because he loves you. Because you have brought him his life back.”

  If only that were true. “He’s never said he loves me.”

  Lilly rested a gentle hand on Kristina’s arm. “You haven’t given him a chance.”

  “I’ve given him more than enough chances.”

  “Give him one more.”

  Emotions warred within Kristina. She so wanted to hear the words, but she feared they might not come. Or worse, he might not mean them. “Even if he does say it, how do I know I can believe him?”

  Lilly studied her with wise eyes. “Listen with your heart, Kristina. Then you’ll know.”

  “I don’t think I can.”

  “Certainly you can, my dear. Everyone deserves a second chance.” Lilly gestured toward the den. “Now go and let him have his say. If you’re not thoroughly convinced that his heart is breaking, and that he loves you more than anything on God’s fair earth, then you are free to go.”

  Kristina stood frozen, uncertain which road to take. She supposed he did deserve, at the very least, a proper goodbye, no matter how painful that would be.

  When Kristina started away, Lilly’s soft voice came from behind her once again. “Remember to listen with your heart, Kristina.”

  When Kristina walked into the den, Drew came to his feet from the sofa. He looked horrible. He hadn’t shaved and, in fact, still wore the same clothes he’d had on the night before. The area was littered with debris, as if he’d turned into a human cyclone, tossing things about the room. His eyes were bloodshot and tired, much the same as hers, she supposed.

  Kristina stood rigid, determined to hold her ground and not let his distressed demeanor sway her. “Your grandmother said you wanted to see me before I left.”

  He stood with his hands rooted deep in the pockets of his slacks. “First, I want you to know I didn’t ask her here to talk you into staying. I asked her here so I could give her a piece of my mind for starting this whole mess.”

  Anger and remorse impaled Kristina. Obviously he believed it to be a “mess,” not a match made in heaven. “I understand.” All too well.

  He took a guarded step forward. “I also asked her over to thank her for bringing you into my life.”

  Admittedly, that lessened her anger, but she still had doubts. “Regardless of what’s happened, Drew, I don’t regret meeting you, or Amanda.”

  He hesitated a moment. “Do you really regret loving me?”

  Did she? Would she take back the moments they’d shared? Probably not. “It was nice while it lasted.”

  His expression went from sad to stern. “Dammit, Kristina, does it have to be over?”

  “Under the circumstances, I think that’s best. You’ve made it perfectly clear how you—”

  “Feel?” He spun away then faced her again with a fierce look. “No I haven’t made it at all clear.” He released a broken breath and met her gaze. “After Talia died, I gave up on finding someone again. It hurt too badly. But after I met you, for the first time I
felt whole again, and willing to take a chance on opening myself up. Maybe I wasn’t quite prepared for the transition, but now I am.”

  Her resolve began to falter, one doubt at a time. “Are you really so certain, Drew?”

  “I have never been more sure about anything in my life.” He moved closer until only inches separated them. “I know that if you walk out that door, I’m going to be faced with more pain, maybe even worse than before. Because this time, I’m more in love than I’ve ever been. With you, Kristina. All of you. Your smile, your eyes, your beautiful body. Most important, your incredible heart.”

  Kristina’s lips parted, but nothing came out.

  He reached out and touched her face, touched her heart in turn. “That’s right, I said I love you, and I should have told you that days ago when I realized it, but I think I was afraid.”

  She spoke around the threatening tears. “Afraid of what?”

  “Afraid that I might not have anything left to give, or that I might let you down.”

  He stroked a thumb over her cheek and studied her with sincerity, perhaps with love. “I’m not afraid anymore, Kristina. I want you in my life from here on out. I want to give you everything you need. I want you to continue your career and I want you as the mother of my child, and all the children we’ll make together.”

  The tears rolled in a steady stream down Kristina’s face, unheeded. Years ago, her instincts had failed her, but had they failed her with Drew? From the moment she’d met him she’d sensed he was a good father, a good man. True, he had been drawn into the scheme against his will and had chosen to perpetuate it because he was a considerate man. He had wanted to let her down easy, and now he was telling her that in the process, he had fallen in love with her.

  Maybe their meeting had been unorthodox, but with any relationship came certain challenges. Trust was an issue they would have to work through, if she chose to put her faith in Drew, as she had from the beginning.

  Kristina held tight to the last thread of doubt, and then Drew smiled, a smile she had come to cherish each passing day. A smile she wanted to see every day for the rest of her life.

  As Lilly had said it would, Kristina’s heart spoke to her loud and clear, with love. It told her that this man did love her, despite their questionable beginning. He needed her, and she needed him. They needed to be together.

  Kristina rested her palm on Drew’s hand, still gently cupping her face. “You don’t mean eight children, do you?”

  His blue eyes, too, were misty, but his face split into a vibrant grin. “We’ll have as many or as few as you’d like. Whatever makes you happy.”

  She slipped her arms around his waist to hold him close to her body; he already occupied her heart. “You know what would really make me happy?”

  He circled his arms around her and pulled her tighter against him. “What?”

  “That you’d learn to love wrestling.”

  He brushed a kiss across her tearstained cheek. “I can do that, as long as you show me a few of your own moves.”

  He kissed her deeply then, a kiss from the heart, brimming with emotion, with love shared between two people who’d come together in the most unlikely way, only to be together from this day forward.

  The sound of a clearing throat caused Drew to break the kiss. Lilly stood near the entrance, Amanda at her side, both looking on with luminous smiles.

  “I’m sorry to interrupt,” Lilly said. “But I wanted to let you know that Toby and I will be taking Amanda to the zoo.”

  Mandy rushed into the room and grabbed both Drew and Kristina around the waists. “Is that okay, Daddy?”

  Drew bussed the top of Mandy’s blond head. “Sure, sweetheart.” He winked at Kristina. “We have something we really need to do.”

  Kristina suspected she knew exactly what he had planned, and she would more than willingly participate.

  “I take it everything is settled now, dears?” Lilly asked.

  Drew gave his smile to Kristina. “Yeah, I think it is.”

  “Then it’s official?”

  Drew frowned at his grandmother. “Official?”

  Lilly rolled her eyes. “Oh, good heavens, Drew. Must I do everything for you?”

  “Grandmother, you’re not making much sense. As usual.”

  “I’m making perfect sense.” Lilly hooked her cane over her forearm and began rummaging through her purse. “I’m speaking of a certain question you should be asking Kristina… Ah, here it is.” She handed Drew a small velvet box. “This belonged to my mother. I’ve waited to pass it on to a granddaughter, but it seemed I was always too late for the proposal. And since Kristina will become my granddaughter, I feel she is most deserving to wear it.”

  Kristina gasped when Drew opened the box to a sparkling oval diamond centered on a platinum band, larger than anything she’d ever dreamed of wearing.

  Lilly tapped Drew’s behind with her cane. “On your knees.”

  Mandy giggled and Kristina froze, thinking the scene had a surreal quality about it. But like any good grandson, Drew lowered himself to one knee, Amanda by his side, and looked up at Kristina with love radiating from his blue eyes.

  He held up the ring. “Kristina Simmons, would you do me the honor of being my wife?”

  “And being my mommy, too?” Mandy added.

  Kristina smiled and fought another rush of tears, this time of joy. “Yes, I would be more than honored.”

  Drew rose and placed the ring on her finger, then took her into his arms for another kiss, this one more chaste but still as heartfelt as the one before. No longer a trial engagement, their commitment to each other was real.

  Kristina looked down when Amanda tugged at the hem of her dress. “What, sweetie?”

  “I’m glad you’re going to be my mommy since I don’t have one anymore.”

  Kneeling, Kristina said, “Mandy, you do have a mommy. She’s just not with you anymore, so I’ll be here to help you grow, but I’ll never try to take her place.”

  Drew walked to the bureau, opened a drawer, then returned with a framed photograph. He handed it to his daughter. “This is your mother, Amanda. Like Kristina, she could play the piano. She loved you as much as any mommy could love her daughter.”

  Amanda studied the picture with awe. “She looks like me, Daddy.”

  He touched her head. “Yes, sweetheart, she looks like you. She was very pretty.” He glanced at Kristina. “Guess I’ve gotten lucky twice now.”

  Kristina felt lucky. Very lucky. This gesture told her that Drew was ready to move on with his life, with her.

  Amanda studied the picture a moment longer then handed it back. “Now I have two pretty mommies, Big Daddy.”

  They all laughed, and as they joined in a group hug—Kristina, Drew, Amanda and Lilly—Kristina realized that families sometimes came together in unusual ways, but the love that would sustain them all came from the heart.

  She couldn’t have asked for a better beginning.

  Once they released each other, Lilly said to Mandy, “Come along, dear heart. Time for the zoo. Your father and Kristina have many plans to make, among other things.”

  Drew wrapped his arms around Kristina and gave her a lingering kiss. “You two have fun. But remember it’s going to be hot today.”

  “Not as hot as it will be here, I’m sure,” Lilly murmured.

  Mandy tugged on Drew’s hand. “Are we gonna have a big wedding with white dresses?”

  He grinned at Mandy. “You bet, sweetheart.”

  “Oh, Drew,” Kristina said. “We don’t need to have a big wedding. Small is fine by me.”

  Lilly cackled. “My dear, you are marrying a Connelly man. They don’t know the meaning of small.”

  “I guess you already know that, huh?” Drew whispered, causing Kristina to blush like a brushfire.

  Drew hugged his daughter, then his grandmother. “Thanks, Grandmother. For everything.”

  Lilly smiled. “My pleasure, beloved. Grandmother alwa
ys knows best.”

  In this case, Kristina couldn’t agree more.

  Epilogue

  “Are they really married, Nana Lilly?”

  Lilly hugged Amanda close to her heart as they sat behind the banquet table. “Yes, dear, they’re really married.”

  Lilly once had believed that assisting fate was an honorable cause, but, alas, her matchmaking days were over. However, she couldn’t stop the tiny nip of pride as she watched her handsome tuxedo-bedecked grandson dance with his new bride, dressed in white Connelly lace, knowing in fact she’d had a hand in this perfect match. At times grandmother did know best, even if some people were hard-pressed to make that concession.

  Lilly nudged Amanda from her lap. “Go on, dear heart. Your daddy and Kristina would like you to join them in a dance.”

  Amanda rushed away in a flurry of pink crinoline skirts and youthful exuberance. Lilly surveyed the room filled almost to capacity with close friends and the Connelly family: Emma and Grant twirling on the ballroom floor along with Maura and Douglas, Elena and Brett, all competing for space as they joined the bride and groom in a waltz.

  Lilly noted Tara standing nearby with her intended…what was his name? Ah, yes, John Parker. A nice safe, sensible man who’d recently presented Tara with an extravagant diamond and the promise of a nice, safe, sensible future. Yet this was not a perfect match by any standards; Lilly had realized that the moment Grant had introduced the two. Tara could not love another man the way that she had loved her dear, departed Michael. The way she still loved him. Lilly honestly believed that that certainty, that soul mate, came along only once in a lifetime.

  If Lilly had her way, she would have a good sit-down with her granddaughter and try to convince her not to make a snap decision in matters of the heart. But Lilly wouldn’t intervene this time. She had barely escaped disaster with her last attempt at facilitating happiness. Tara would have to come to that conclusion on her own.

  With her help, everything had worked out grandly with Kristina and Drew, Lilly admitted. Drew had found a woman to heal him, someone he could love through the years, as Lilly had loved her own husband through happiness and heartache.