Deceased Dora

by Claire Chilton

  The man punched Kieron in the ribs before pushing him off him and rolling onto his feet.

  “Back up kid, or I’ll burn your ass,” he said while conjuring a ball of dark energy in his hands.

  Kieron rolled over holding his side and scowled at the man. “Careful you don’t fall over,” he muttered as the man stumbled over a rock.

  The man narrowed his eyes, and his nostrils flared in anger. “The ground moves!”

  “Does it move for your falling horse too?” Kieron taunted.

  “Peggy can fly,” he snapped. “She just requires some magical assistance.”

  “I wonder why that is?” Kieron said as he got to his feet and then flapped his wings until he rose off the ground.

  “Being a wet angel is nothing to be proud of.” The man lowered his arms and shook his head.

  “Who the hell are you?” Dora asked.

  The man turned to her and smiled. “Oh, how rude of me, I am Lucian, the Fallen One.” He bowed. “And you are?”

  “I’m Dora. What are you?” She eyed the knife at his hip and his dark flowing cape. “A demon superhero?”

  He waved his hands in the air in a dramatic gesture, and lightning cracked in the sky behind him. A dark cloud amassed above them, and a purple-tinged mist surrounded him.

  “I am the darkest entity on this planet. I control th—” He stumbled backwards and waved his hands in the air to stop himself from falling. “Motherfucking Earth, stop moving!”

  Kieron sniggered.

  Lucian scowled at him. “Don’t mess with me, boy.”

  “So, why did you tie Kieron to a tree? And, what’s with the witches?” She interrupted before they started fighting again.

  “It gets boring when you’ve been on Earth forever.” Lucian shrugged. “If an angel pops by, just asking to be fucked with, why shouldn’t I?”

  “I’m not a fucking angel!” Kieron scowled and folded his arms.

  “Yeah, keep telling yourself that,” Lucian muttered.

  Dora grabbed Kieron’s arm and held him back as he tried to run at Lucian again. “And the witches?” she asked.

  “If you could have a harem of stupid women tending to your every whim, wouldn’t you? Although, in retrospect, maybe I should have become the king of vampires or something instead. Master warlocks have to listen to far too much whining. If I have to hear one more word about hair extensions, I’ll rip my own fucking ears off.”

  “You can just choose to rule anything you want, then?” She shook her head in disbelief.

  “I can, you can’t.” He nodded at Kieron. “And that angelic dumbass certainly can’t.”

  Kieron narrowed his eyes, and she felt his muscles tense under her hand. She tightened her grip on him to keep him from flying at the man again.

  “What makes you so special?”

  Lucian flashed an enigmatic smile and said nothing.

  “Fine, don’t tell me.” She shrugged. “We’re going to be leaving now, and you’re not going near my boyfriend again.”

  “What if I followed your hot, demon ass? Maybe I want to go where you’re going?”

  Kieron growled and tried to run at him again, but she held him back with all her strength.

  “Ooh, he’s such a jealous little angel. That’s a sin you know?” Lucian shook his head. “They sure don’t make angels like they used to. Oh, and you do have a nice ass.” He winked at her with a wicked grin on his face.

  “Let’s leave my ass out of it. If you follow us, I’ll set a pack of werewolves on you.”

  “Fantastic! I always wanted a dog,” he said as he picked up the reins of his unicorn and walked towards them.

  “He’s not coming with us,” Kieron said, shaking her hand off his arm.

  “I don’t think we have a choice,” she muttered. “Let’s just find Carob, and he can help us find Pooey.”

  “Great. What’s a Pooey?” Lucian asked.

  “I don’t want to find Carob.” Kieron narrowed his eyes at her.

  “Come on! I need to sort this all out, so I can save Terrance from my father.”

  “Who the fuck is Terrance?” Kieron widened his eyes.

  “Demon girls are always hard work.” Lucian interrupted with a shake of his head.

  “He’s just a vampire I know. It’s nothing to worry about.” She winced when she imagined Kieron’s reaction to Terrance’s flowery way of speaking to her.

  “We need to find Pooey, right? They can help us.”

  “I’m not helping. I’m just here because I’m bored,” Lucian said.

  Kieron snorted. “Wonderful. Fine, but we need to find Carissa too.”

  She narrowed her eyes. “Fine,” she muttered as she led them both into the forest with the smell of mouldy unicorn wafting past her nose.

  Dora followed Carob through the woods with an angry Kieron marching beside her, and the smell of unicorn faeces following them.

  She glanced at Kieron. His chin was set in determination, and his eyes were narrowed while staring at Carob’s muscled back.

  She shook her head. Ever since she had found Carob, Kieron had been quiet and moody.

  I probably shouldn’t have wound him up about Carob being hot.

  Finding Carob oiling his naked chest near a waterfall probably hadn’t helped the situation either.

  “Are we there yet?” Lucian asked for the hundredth time.

  She rolled her eyes. Having Lucian’s commentary following them certainly wasn’t helping the situation.

  “It’s just ahead,” Carob said, pointing to a farm in the distance.

  She squinted at the old farmhouse as they left the forest and walked through long grasses towards the farm. “You live on a farm?”

  “An organic farm.” Carob nodded.

  “Oh, hell no! It’ll be full of hairy-legged feminists,” Lucian cried.

  “What?” She spun around to confront him. “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ev—”

  “Happy-clapping, eco-friendly, psycho-vegan, bean-munching, hairy-legged feminists,” Lucian said.

  “That’s just ridiculou—” She began.

  “Actually, some of the girls there do have hairy legs.” Carob turned back with a grimace on his face.

  “Sexy,” Kieron said, and everyone turned to stare at him in shock.

  “What?” he asked. “There’s nothing hotter than a succubae with cloven feet and soft fur on her shapely legs.”

  Dora grinned as Lucian’s mouth dropped open in silent awe.

  “Are we going to the farm or not?” Kieron asked as he folded his arms.

  Carob and Lucian froze on the spot and stared at Kieron with wide eyes.

  “Come on. We need to get out of the open,” Dora said while turning to face the farm.

  Carob turned with a shake of his head and continued walking towards the farmhouse.

  She hooked her arm through Kieron’s and smiled up at him. He was just great, sometimes.

  He shot her a moody glance. “Why are you smiling at me?”

  “I’m just happy,” she said.

  “You are not jealous of me for fantasising about the hairy-legged girls we are about to meet in the werewolf farm?” He appeared upset.

  “Oh yes, very jealous.” She smiled at him.

  He frowned. “You do not appear jealous.”

  She scowled for him. “Is that better?”

  “Yes. Now, I am happy.” He smiled.

  She couldn’t help grinning up at him. He was so cute sometimes.

  “I’m going to be sick if you two don’t stop it. What the hell is a demon girl doing pleasing an angel, anyway?” Lucian’s voice interrupted her serenity.

  “I’m not a demon, and he’s not an angel,” she said.

  “What the fuck are you then?” he asked.

  She stared at the farmhouse as they drew closer to it. She didn’t know what she was. Maybe she would find out here.

  She studied the house. It had solar panels on the roof and was a massive struc
ture that was painted white. It had an abundance of herbs and flowers littered around it. Pots of lavender and mint dotted the windowsills, and a giant apple tree grew next to the house. Roses climbed up the wooden trellis surrounding the garden.

  It appeared to be a nice, eco-friendly place in the country.

  After a moment, she shook her head. “I don’t know what I am, but I’m not a demon.”

  “You look like a demon,” Lucian muttered.

  “You look like a warrior, but you’re actually a pain in my ass …” She began, but trailed off when the front door of the farmhouse opened, and a giant wolf stood in the doorway.

  He was grey around the snout and ears with thick brown fur covering the rest of his body. He bared his teeth and raised his hackles as they approached the front gate.

  Carob waved a greeting to the wolf.

  The wolf raised his head and sniffed the air before coughing.

  I guess he just smelled Peggy.

  She widened her eyes as the wolf morphed into a man in his forties with short brown hair and a scar running across his muscled chest.

  “Gah!” Lucian cried.

  She turned to see him cover his eyes.

  “Dude! Put some fucking pants on.”

  She turned back to look at the wolf-man, but was blinded as Kieron’s hand covered her eyes.

  “Oh, come on!” she cried. “It’s not as if I was going to look.”

  She struggled against him, but felt Kieron’s chest pressing against her back and his arm around her waist while his other hand covered her eyes.

  “Oops, my bad.” She heard an unfamiliar male voice say, followed by the sound of footsteps rushing away.

  “Kieron stop it.” She wriggled in his grip.

  He released her, and she rubbed her eyes. “It’s not like I haven’t seen a naked guy before,” she muttered as she glanced at the doorway to see it was empty.

  “Ohh, how many naked men have you seen?” Kieron asked as he put his hands on his hips.

  She defiantly raised her head and turned to face him, about to reply until Lucian butted in.

  “Yes, you dirty little slut, how many naked men have you seen?” Lucian flashed a grin in her direction.

  She narrowed her eyes at both of them. “You two are far too similar for my liking.”

  Kieron widened his eyes. “I’m nothing like that hack warlock!” he cried.

  “You think I’m like Angel-boy! Are you shitting me?” Lucian cried.

  She smirked at them both and then turned her back to them.

  The door to the farmhouse opened again to reveal the same man, who was now wearing pants and a checked shirt.

  “Hey Carob, what is er, this?” The man called out while gesturing at the group.

  “Hi Rodney, these are beings in need of sanctuary from the vampires,” Carob said. “I need to speak with mother about it.”

  Rodney eyed up the group with a doubtful expression on his face. When he noticed Peggy, his eyes widened.

  “What the fuck is that?”

  “She is a unicorn,” Lucian said while glancing under his hood at Rodney with menace in his eyes.

  “For real? Because I’ve seen flea-bitten mongrels with more class,” Rodney said.

  “How dare you compare a benevolent creature to a mongrel!” Lucian cried.

  He turned to his trusty steed. “Cover your ears Peggy. The man is an imbecile.”

  Dora sighed. “Can we come in? I need your help,” she asked Rodney.

  Rodney studied her for a moment.

  “Okay, but that thing is going into the stables.” He pointed to Peggy.

  “The stables better be clean,” Lucian said as he opened the gate and walked into the farm.

  Rodney widened his eyes. “Like she’d fucking notice the difference.”

  “I’m pretending I didn’t hear that since I only came here to pick up a dog,” Lucian said.

  Rodney growled and bared his teeth.

  Dora groaned. This was going to be a nightmare.

  She glanced at Kieron and Carob who both shrugged in unison.

  She scowled and decided that now was the time to test out her demon powers on Lucian’s ass. The last thing she needed was the Fallen One causing trouble and getting them kicked out of here. She didn’t want the werewolves hunting them too.

  She inhaled a deep breath and closed her eyes to summon whatever powers she had inside her. The world felt hazy, and a sudden attack of dizziness hit her.

  She opened her eyes and glanced at Kieron, his face seemed to swirl around her. He was shouting something at her, but she couldn’t hear it.

  The world spun, and she felt herself falling.

  She felt Kieron’s arms wrap around her and catch her before she hit the ground. His worried face hovering in front of her was the last thing she saw before darkness claimed her, and she passed out.

  Voices filtered into Dora’s thoughts. She frowned, trying to recognise them and then winced as spikes of pain shot across her brow.

  “Don’t hover over her like that, you giant lummox,” Lucian said.

  “I’m checking she’s okay.” She recognised Kieron’s deep voice.

  She smiled when she heard him, inhaling so she could smell his familiar scent. She always felt safe near him.

  Her smile wilted when she smelt rank unicorn instead.

  “Because you’re such an expert at healing people,” Lucian muttered.

  “Don’t even start that again,” Kieron grumbled.

  “A fucking angel who doesn’t know how to heal!” She felt someone move away from her, and she opened her eyes to see Kieron walking towards Lucian, who was still talking.

  “In all my long years of existence, I have never encountered such dumb ass, lame—Oh, hey look. She’s awake.”

  “Dora!” Kieron spun around and rushed to her side, dropping to his knees beside her.

  “Are you okay?” He looked down at her with worry knotting his brown.

  She braced her hands at her sides to push herself up and frowned when she felt straw beneath them.

  “Yeah, I …” She sat up and glanced down at a handful of straw. “Where the fuck are we?”

  He scowled at Lucian. “After you passed out, the Fallen Dick decided to blame Rodney and started a fight. As a result of that, we aren’t allowed in the farmhouse until the den mother has seen us, but Carob let us stay here.” He stroked her shoulder and stared into her eyes. “I was so worried. How do you feel?”

  “Hey! I do have a name you know, several actually,” Lucian said.

  “I feel okay, Kieron.” She smiled at him to reassure him. She felt a bit weak, but her headache was going off, and there was no pain anywhere else.

  She glanced at Lucian. “Oh yeah, is it fucking moron by any chance?”

  Kieron laughed, causing Lucian to scowl.

  “You can call me, Lucian-imma-bout-to-kick-some-lame-angel-ass, if you prefer,” the warlock said.

  Kieron narrowed his eyes at him and let out a low growl.

  She shook her head at the warlock, then she touched Kieron’s arm, so he looked back at her.

  “I’m okay.” She reassured him.

  “You went all red and then fell over.” There was an edge of panic in his voice. “Then you wouldn’t wake up.” He grabbed her in a tight hug, and she melted against his warm chest.

  “You can’t do that to me,” he mumbled into her hair. “You’re never allowed to get ill. Promise me, you never will.”

  “Oh for fucksake. She’s not ill, you idiot,” Lucian muttered.

  She frowned into Kieron’s chest before pulling her head back and glancing at Lucian.

  “What caused it then? I never pass out.”

  “There was a dark energy around you when it happened. Normally, I’d guess that you pissed off a demon, but since you are one …” Lucian shrugged.

  “Oh, because you sensed some dark energy.” Kieron turned to face him. “How very fucking psychic of you.”

/>   “I may not be a demon, but I know my Hell magic, Angela—yes I’m calling you that because only girls whine like you do. I know enough about it to sense when it’s being invoked.” He pulled a cigar out of his pocket, popped it in his mouth and lit it.

  He took a drag and then slowly let it out. “That was Hell magic surrounding you.” He nodded at her.

  She frowned while Kieron helped her to her feet. She glanced into his clear blue eyes. “Do you think it was a curse from Hell?”

  His expression darkened. “My fucking parents!”

  “Whoa, hold on there, Angela. Your parents are in Hell?” Lucian asked.

  Kieron spun around and waved his fist at Lucian. “Don’t fucking call me Angela!”

  “Fine, whatever, little lady. Keep your panties on,” Lucian replied with a grin.

  Kieron launched himself at Lucian and knocked him to the hay covered ground.

  Dora sighed and glanced around the barn while the two rolled around in the hay, kicking and punching each other.

  The barn was a massive wooden structure with stables. Mounds of hay carpeted the floor, and she spotted more bales packed up in the thick wooden rafters above.

  “Will you two behave?” She eventually snapped. “Hey, guys. Remember me, the poor little, fainting girl?”

  The flurry of fists paused.

  Lucian rolled off Kieron, who jumped up and dabbed a split lip with edge of his hand.

  She shook her head at them, and they both peered at their feet in unison.

  “What the hell is wrong with you two? You act like … like.” She couldn’t think of a way to describe it, so she just shook her head again.

  “He started it,” Kieron said.

  “Oh, very mature.” Lucian rolled his eyes.

  “Enough!” she said. “Tell me about this dark energy,” she asked Lucian.

  He frowned. “It’s not a curse. I cast curses all the time. They don’t feel like that, but I have seen it before.”

  “Where?” she asked.

  “You won’t like the answer.”

  “Just fucking tell me.”

  “Okay.” He held up his hands. I’ve been around a long time and seen my share of demons before. That energy is what comes about when they are about to cast something.”

  “Do they pass out too?” Kieron asked.

  “No, dumbass! Demons feed on Hell for their power. They have a direct link to the magic of Hell—it’s unending. Even the ancient Greeks knew that.”