Deceased Dora

by Claire Chilton

  The disconnection from Hell seemed to dislodge the ground beneath her, and she fell onto the floor.

  She shook her head, glancing around her to find that everyone else had hit the floor too.

  “They put on the fucking answer machine!” Kieron cried.

  “I guess that means you’re disowned,” Pooey said, pushing himself off the floor.

  Lucian was suspiciously quiet, so Dora glanced at him.

  He lay on his back, staring up at the ceiling with wide eyes and a pale face.

  “What?” she asked.

  Lucian didn’t reply, so she nudged him with her foot. “Lucian, what’s wrong with you?”

  He jerked and quickly sat up. “What?”

  “Is there something wrong?” she asked.

  “Nope, nope, nothing wrong, it’s all good.” He rubbed his brow and then smiled brightly.

  “How is that all good?” Kieron stared at him in disbelief. “We’re totally screwed now.”

  “Dude, you look as white as a poltergeist,” Pooey said as he wandered over to Lucian and poked his cheek.

  Lucian stared blankly past Pooey at Kieron for a moment before shaking his head and focusing on the little brown bear.

  He brushed Pooey’s paws away from his face and stood up. “Because there is more than one power in this universe,” he said. “I’ll help you.”

  “How?” Dora asked.

  “I’m not certain on the details yet, just gimme a bit of time.” He refused to meet anyone’s eyes. “I just need a moment.”

  They all jumped when there was a loud cry from downstairs.

  “If only we could get a moment,” she muttered as they all raced for the door. “What the hell is happening now?”

  She raced down the stairs with the others close on her heels. The cries appeared to be begging, she realised, and they became clearer when they neared the kitchen.

  She rushed down the corridor, past the organ pipes and towards the back stairs.

  “Who is that, your father?” Kieron gasped behind her as another wail came from the room below them.

  “No, it—it sounds like Terrance,” she said as she rushed down the stairs.

  She burst through the kitchen door and then stared at the scene with wide eyes.

  Carissa appeared to be holding Terrance by his earlobe. She was twisting it, which must have hurt because he was kneeling in front of her and begging her to let go.

  Carissa glanced back and flicked her eyes over the group. Ignoring them, she turned back to face Terrance.

  “Let’s try this again,” she said. “Why should we get married?”

  Terrance appeared confused. He looked up at her with shining eyes. “Because you are my love, my precious gift and a gentle flower in need of my protection. I shall protect thee for all time, and you will make our home a place of love while I go out to work—OWWW!” he cried as she twisted his ear.

  “Try again,” she said.

  “What are you doing?” Dora asked.

  Carissa glanced back again. “Teaching Terrance about equality.”

  “I’m sure there are better ways,” Dora said, peering at Terrance’s twisted ear.

  “No, trust me. This works.” Carissa continued to twist his ear.

  “My love, why do you hurt me so?” Terrance cried. “Should I not be your protector? Should I not shower you in gifts as I would a child—OWW!”

  Dora shrugged. “It might take a while. Will his ear be okay?”

  “Yeah, he heals pretty fast.” Carissa nodded.

  “Will his ego survive?” Lucian asked.

  “It has so far.” Carissa shrugged.

  “Dora, tell her. Tell her how I am now a man of the modern age. I have dressed as a man of this new world, walked in his shoes,” Terrance cried.

  Dora eyed his white shoes, which appeared to be the tap dancing kind from the nineteen forties. “Where did you get those shoes from?”

  “Stylish aren’t they? I visited a store called ‘Antique’. The good shopkeeper informed me that these were all the rage now. They are from a designer by the name of ‘Retro’.” Terrance gazed at his feet in awe.

  “Yeah, if you want to look like Fred Astaire,” she muttered. “All you need is a top hat.”

  “I’d very much like a top hat.” Terrance nodded.

  Carissa groaned. “It might take some time for him to adjust.”

  “No shit,” Pooey said. “Let me know when he gets to the Gene Kelly stage. What? Don’t look at me like that. You know you all love Singin’ in the Rain.”

  “How do you even know about that? Do you get cable in Hell?” Dora asked.

  Pooey and Kieron nodded in unison.

  Lucian shook his head. “Forget the losers, dog-girl. Come stay with me. I’ve got the best kibble.”

  Carissa spun to face him, finally releasing Terrance’s ear. Her eyes glowed yellow as she scowled at Lucian.

  “Keep going with that, and you’ll be next.” She growled.

  “No thanks. I don’t marry my pets,” Lucian said.

  “Stay away from Carissa,” Terrance cried as his fangs elongated, and his eyes glowed red. “She’s my pet!”

  Carissa slapped Terrance across the back of his head. “I’m no one’s pet! I’m the first hybrid, you fools.”

  Lucian grinned.

  Dora slapped Lucian across the back of the head before staring at Carissa.

  She remembered the spirit wolf’s words.

  “You can stop the war.”

  “What?” Carissa frowned.

  “You’re a hybrid child of the vampires and werewolves. You can bring peace and create harmony between the species,” Dora said.

  “Don’t’ be stupid. Of course, I can’t. They’ve been fighting for centuries.”

  “Yes, you can.” Dora’s mind was spinning. She knew that there was an answer to all of the problems on Earth if she could just connect all the dots.

  Carissa frowned at her. “Who told you this?”

  “The spirit w—” She jumped when there was a loud roar outside the church.

  “What the fuck?”

  “The spirit of what the fuck?” Carissa frowned at her.

  “No, gawd, one sec,” she said, waving Carissa away and turning towards the window.

  “Something’s going on outside.” She dashed to the window and stared out into the fields behind the church. Her eyes widened in horror.

  Marching towards the church were armies of werewolves and vampires. In the distance, a massive beast marched behind them. It was a shadow of a giant.

  “Aww shit,” Carissa muttered behind her.

  “What the fuck is that?” Lucian asked.

  “Oh no, not again,” Pooey cried.

  “What?” Kieron peered through the window over Dora’s shoulder.

  “Is that who I think it is?” Terrance growled.

  “WHO?” Dora shouted.

  “It’s my mother.” Carissa sighed. “The matriarch.”

  “Oh shit.” Dora stared at the armies of supernatural creatures heading towards the church.

  She gasped when the shadow of the matriarch left the cover of the forest. Illuminated by the milky glow of the moon, the giant beast became visible. She was twice as tall as the other creatures and a mass of muscle and fur. Her fangs glinted as she moved slowly across the field behind her army of wolves, who were flanked on either side by vampires and witches.

  Gunshots echoed across the field as agents of PISS darted through the trees on either side, shooting at the mass of supernatural creatures, but appearing to miss every single one of them.

  Dora closed the window and locked it. “We need to lock the doors.”

  “We’re fucked,” Lucian said, peering over her shoulder.

  “That’s the spirit,” Pooey said. “Roll over and play dead.”

  “Oh, and what exactly would you suggest?” Lucian narrowed his eyes at the little bear.

  “Barricade every entry point and use our collect
ive powers to ward them off.” Pooey frowned. “If they get in, then bend over and prepare for a total as—”

  “Barricading sounds good.” Dora interrupted. “Kieron, Pooey and Lucian, you come up with something that will keep them away. Carissa and Terrance, you’re with me. We’re going to seal all the exits.”

  Carissa and Terrance nodded, assisting her as she pushed a large dresser towards the kitchen window, blocking it off.

  “What do you think?” Kieron asked Pooey. “A demon shield?”

  Lucian shook his head and sighed loudly.

  “What?” Kieron asked.

  “You plan to use demonic power in a church, seriously?” Lucian asked.

  “Why not?” Kieron frowned at him.

  “You’re on holy ground, dipshit. You’re an angel standing on holy ground, and the best you can come up with is a frikkin demon shield?”

  “I’m not an angel!” Kieron cried.

  “Clearly.” Lucian shook his head. “But you’ll do.” He grinned.

  “Why does that smile worry me,” Pooey said.

  “Don’t worry. Fail-angel will be fine. We’re going to use a holy ward. It’ll protect the church by not allowing demonic creatures to enter it.”

  “What about the ones inside it?” Dora glanced up.

  “They should be okay. I think it’ll only fry the ones outside of it.” Lucian shrugged. “We won’t know until we try it.”

  “What about the agents with guns?” Kieron asked.

  “We can deal with them,” Carissa said as her eyes glowed yellow, and she flipped over the heavy dining table, jamming it against the back door.

  “This world is so uncivilised,” Terrance said. “Why people can’t discuss things over a cup of tea is beyond me.”

  Dora sighed. Okay get the shield up. Come on.” She waved to Terrance and Carissa. “Let’s start barricading the upstairs and work our way down.

  Kieron frowned as he watched Lucian carve a sigil into the front doors. “What’s that for?”

  Lucian shook his head before turning to face him. “We need to use the holy ground of the church to ward off the supernatural. These markings will create a protective shield around the church, so they need to be on all four sides of the building.”

  “They look like crap,” Pooey said. “I’ve got tattoos on my ass that are more artistic.”

  Lucian narrowed his eyes at Pooey. “They’re not for artistic interpretation.”

  “The sigils in Hell are nicer.”

  “Feel free to go back there—oh wait! You’re not invited anymore, are you?” Lucian slid his knife back into its sheath at his hip.

  “At least I managed to get in before, unlike a fail-warlock I can think of,” Pooey said.

  “I can ge—”

  “Stop bickering! We need to do this now. What do I need to do?” Kieron asked.

  “You need to feel the holy power inside the church and channel it. You let it expand inside you, and then send it out of you. Thinking about protective things will help you create the right aura. It should create a holy shield around the church if you do it right,” Lucian said.

  “So, I just think it? There’s no spell?” Kieron frowned. It wasn’t how Hell magic worked.

  “You can chant a prayer if you want to.”

  Kieron realised that he didn’t know any prayers, and a bubble of panic grew in his stomach. “Do I have to?”

  “Not really. They’re just for humans. Go on, try it.”

  Pooey shook his head and clambered onto one of the pews. “This is going to be an epic fail.”

  “Ye of little faith,” Lucian muttered. “Well, you are little everywhere else. I guess it makes sense.”

  “The holy power of the church.” Pooey waved his hands around the dingy room. “Have you seen this church? There’s nothing good in it!”

  Lucian glanced around the room, frowning. He walked over to the left wall and brushed moss and cobwebs away from it with his hand.

  “There is something strange about this place.” He admitted as he stared at the symbols engraved into an ancient-looking tablet that was embedded into the wall.

  Kieron peered at the symbols. They made no sense to him. “What is it?”

  Lucian was silent for a moment as he ran his fingers over the symbols. “Uh, what? Nothing,” he eventually said. “Nothing to worry about.”

  “You’re not a very convincing liar, are you?” Pooey eyed him.

  “Just forget about it. It can’t be … It’s nothing.” Lucian shook his head and walked away from the wall.

  They all jumped when something heavy crashed against the front doors, and the fragile locks only just held them closed.

  “Do it now.” Lucian nodded at Kieron.

  Kieron nodded and closed his eyes. He tried to feel the church’s power, searching for something holy in it. He frowned when he instantly felt power flowing into him. It didn’t feel holy, but it felt familiar to him.

  That has to be it, right?

  He inhaled deeply, drawing the power inside him. It seemed overwhelming as it filled every pore.

  A murky darkness filled his mind while his eyes clouded over, and all he could see out of them was greenish mist.

  Expand, he told it.

  Even though it seemed to fill his body, he tried to make it bigger and more powerful. The power flooded into him at amazing speed, filling him to a point of bursting. “I can’t—I can’t take any more!” he cried.

  “Let it out now.” Lucian’s voice filtered through the fog.

  Kieron expelled his breath. He opened his eyes and stared up at the roof of the church, pushing the power out of his body while concentrating on protecting Dora.

  A rush of pale green light clouded his eyes as he watched the power leave his body. A white beam shot up into the church above him and opened up like an umbrella around the room, spreading upwards to other floors of the building until it encompassed the entire structure.

  “What the fuck?” Dora’s voice loudly rang out behind him.

  He spun around to see a soggy Dora scowling at him.

  “What did you do?” she cried as she shook a green snotty substance off her arms. She was drenched from head to toe in green slime.

  “Ugh, this stuff tastes like ass.” She spat some out before picking up Pooey and wiping her lips on the top of his head.

  “Hey, watch the fur.” Pooey grumbled as he wriggled out of her grasp.

  “Did I do it wrong?” Kieron asked.

  “No, it was mostly right.” Lucian replied. “I’m not sure what that is though,” he said, pointing to Dora. “But the church is protected for now.”

  “What do you mean for now?” Pooey asked. “Isn’t it supposed to last?”

  “Well, it will do until Heckle and Jeckle start messing with it,” Lucian said, peering out of the window.

  Kieron rushed to window and stared through the stained glass. Werewolves and vampires were fighting in the street outside. Howls and shrieks filled the air.

  Witches were casting curses on the members of PISS while an army of squirrels were running into the barrier he had just created and bouncing off it.

  Standing behind a group of holy agents were two priests. They were chanting over their prayer beads and focusing on the entrance of the church.

  “What are they?”

  “Exorcists,” Lucian said. “Let’s just hope they’re stupid ones, who don’t know what they’re doing.”

  Kieron stared at them. They were old, but their eyes were sharp, and they certainly looked as if they knew what they were doing.

  He jumped back with a yelp as a rabid were-squirrel threw itself at the window, baring its sharp, little teeth.

  It squealed at him as the barrier seemed to electrocute it, and it exploded on the window into red gooey clumps.

  “Oh, that’s just gross,” he said as the bloody chunks slid down the glass.

  “That’s just gross?” He heard Dora ask incredulously behind him.
r />   He turned to see her scowling at him, still covered from head to toe in slime.

  He grinned as an idea came to him. “Let’s get you cleaned up,” he said wrapping his arm around her shoulders. “A nice shower should do the trick. Where is it?”

  Dora walked out of the downstairs bathroom while rubbing her hair with a towel. She found Kieron sitting on the stone pew outside it, frowning.

  “What?”

  “When I said we should take a shower, I didn’t mean taking it in turns,” he said.

  “What?” She tried to fathom what he was talking about, but her mind was focused on the howling armies outside.

  She walked over to the barricaded window and peered around the heavy armoire blocking it, looking out onto the lawn.

  Unable to break through the barrier around the church, the armies of creatures surrounding the building had begun fighting with each other.

  Groups of vampires and werewolves were fighting and clawing at each other. The witches were casting on anything that crossed their path. PISS appeared to have upgraded to machine guns and were clustered in a corner taking out anything that came near them.

  “Are you my girlfriend?” Kieron asked.

  “What?” The words barely registered as she frowned at the carnage outside, watching a werewolf writhe in agony as a vampire bit its leg.

  “Hmph!”

  She turned to face him with a frown. “This is bad. We need to do something about it.”

  “I know! I was trying to.” He stood up and folded his arms across his chest.

  “If it continues, it’s going to be a bloodbath,” she said.

  “Well, I wouldn’t go that far.” He frowned. “It’s just a case of communication.”

  “I don’t think they’re open to talking about it.”

  “They who? What are you talking about?”

  “What are you talking about?” She stared at him, feeling confused.

  “I’m talking about us!”

  “Uh, what? There’s nothing wrong with us.” She frowned, forgetting about the howling monsters outside and seeing him as if for the first time since she’d found him. His lips were drawn into an angry tight line, and his muscles appeared tensed all over his body.