Temptation at Christmas

by Maureen Child

  Sex didn’t count.

  The sex between him and Mia had always been amazing. He’d never been with a woman he could laugh with during sex. Never had a woman touch him the way she did. But that wasn’t enough to build a marriage on. It wasn’t enough to make up for the fact that Sam had no damn idea how to be in a relationship for the long haul.

  “All I’m saying is you should use this cruise to take a hard look at what you gave up,” Henry said. “And ask yourself—was it worth it?”

  Sam had been asking himself that question for months. And he still didn’t have an answer.

  “One more thing,” Henry said, his voice low and tight. “If, when the cruise is over, you can’t see what a treasure my daughter is—then you sign those papers and you let her go.”

  Seven

  While Joe and Maya’s dad were having a beer, the kids participated in a Christmas-themed scavenger hunt. Under the supervision of what appeared to be a battalion of crew members, children raced around the boat trying to find all of the objects on their lists.

  When that was over, Emma Harper took her grandsons to the Christmas craft room to make presents for their family. Which gave Maya and Mia time to enjoy a spa day. After facials and a mani/pedi, the twins lay stretched out on plush, luxurious chaises waiting for their nails to dry.

  “You don’t have to stay on the couch,” Maya said for what had to be the tenth time that morning. “The boys are feeling better so you can have your room back.”

  Mia had made it back to the couch before everyone got up and she was grateful for that. But the truth was, Maya and Joe both looked rested after getting a good night’s sleep and the boys had a ball in their adjoining room. Sam had been right about that. Joe hadn’t complained about anything, but she knew that part of the reason for this trip had been to give him a chance to rest up, too.

  Joe and several other firemen from his company had just returned from fighting a fire in Idaho and he could use all the rest he could get.

  “Yeah, about that,” Mia said. “It’s better with you and Joe having your own room. The boys get to laugh and talk to each other half the night.”

  “Sure,” Maya said, pausing for a sip of her pomegranate fizz, “but you deserve more than a couch.”

  “I agree.” She took a breath and added, “So, I’ve found a room and I’m moving into it when we’re finished here.” Of course, she knew her twin and was absolutely sure that Maya wouldn’t accept that statement at face value. Mia had been dreading this conversation all morning. But the time had come, whether she liked it or not. Besides, this wasn’t about Maya or what she thought. Mia was moving in with Sam because she wanted this time with him. It wasn’t forever. Heck it wouldn’t last longer than this cruise. But God, she needed him so badly, she was willing to put up with the inevitable pain to come just to have him now.

  Maya pushed herself up on her elbows and looked at her. “How’d you find a room? The ship is sold out. Did you toss someone overboard?”

  “No.”

  “What’s going on with you? You keep getting really quiet, like you used to in school when you were figuring out how to do something without me.”

  Mia forced a laugh. “You’re paranoid.”

  “No, just hugely pregnant and out of patience. So why don’t we cut through everything else and you just tell me what’s going on?”

  “Okay, fine.” Mia swung her legs over the side of the chaise and faced her sister. “I met Sam last night...”

  “When?”

  “Right after the hot chocolate plague.”

  Her features screwed up. “Ew. Don’t blame you for leaving, even if it was in a storm. And you saw Sam where?”

  “Out on the Sun Deck and...”

  “And?” Maya’s eyes narrowed on her and Mia wondered why she was feeling guilty. For heaven’s sake, until they were divorced, she and Sam were married. Why was it bad that she’d had sex with her husband? And why was she leery about telling Maya?

  “And we went back to his suite.”

  “God. You had sex, didn’t you?” Maya struggled to sit up and lost. The mound of her belly kept getting in the way. She held out one hand to her sister and Mia stood up, grabbed that hand and hauled her twin into a sitting position. “My God, I forget what it’s like to just sit up whenever the hell you want to,” Maya grumbled.

  Then louder, she said, “I knew you had a just had sex glow and I told myself I had to be wrong because my twin wouldn’t be so stupid as to waltz right back into Sam’s bed.”

  “Not stupid.”

  “Just horny?”

  “Maya.” Exasperated, Mia sighed heavily. “He’s still my husband.”

  Maya waved that off. “A technicality.”

  “A fairly important one.” Mia sipped at her drink and paced the small, private room. The spa treatment rooms were, of course, luxurious and soothing, with their cream-colored walls dotted with pastoral paintings and thick, pale blue carpet. The furnishings were designed to calm, relax. But, she told herself, it was going to take more than that to cool Maya down.

  “Mia, you’re supposed to be over him, remember?” Maya stared at her. “We’re here so he’ll sign the divorce papers and let you start the life you want to have. And you’re sleeping with him?”

  “Not sleeping,” she mused and couldn’t quite keep a half smile from curving her mouth.

  “No need to brag,” her twin snapped. “Has he signed the papers yet?”

  “Not yet, but he will.”

  “And you know this how?”

  “He told me he would.” She took a sip of her fizz to ease a dry throat. “When we get back to Long Beach, he’ll sign.”

  Maya studied her through narrowed eyes. “Why are you so sure all of a sudden?”

  “I just am, Maya. Leave it at that.” She really didn’t want to confess that she’d been blackmailed into this deal, because even though it had given her the excuse she’d needed to do what she wanted all along, the truth was just too humiliating to admit that she was a willing victim.

  “I don’t think so.”

  “How about looking at it like this—if I’m right there with him, I can make sure he signs those papers.”

  “Sure. You sharing a suite with Sam and you’re going to be thinking about business.”

  “He’ll be a captive audience, won’t he?”

  She wanted her sister on her side because it would make things much easier. But the bottom line was, she’d already made her decision. She didn’t like sleeping on the couch. Sharing a suite with her sister and the family was harder than she might have thought. Just the bathroom situation alone was enough to make her go for it.

  And she almost laughed at her own ridiculous explanations for what she was doing. The simple truth was, she wanted to be with Sam. They had this cruise together and then they were finished.

  She wanted this time with him.

  * * *

  Still...when they were married, Sam was rarely around. He didn’t spend time with her—except at night in their bedroom. So wouldn’t he find ways to stay busy somewhere on the ship? Probably. But the ship was a lot smaller than the city of Long Beach. He’d have a much harder time avoiding her, especially if she was sharing his room.

  “Oh man...” Maya shook her head. “This is what I’m worried about.”

  “What?”

  “You want him captive. You still want him.”

  “I didn’t say that.”

  “You didn’t have to.”

  “You’re wrong,” Mia lied and silently congratulated herself on sounding so convincing. “What I want is the future I’m planning. To get that, I have to deal with Sam.”

  And that’s all she would do. She’d already made arrangements to move her life forward. That began in January and Mia wouldn’t let anything stop it.

  “Look
, this will work out for all of us. You guys get your own room. I don’t have to stay on a couch...” She threw up one hand. “Why shouldn’t I stay with him? He’s got the room. We’re still married.”

  “And Sam’s doing this just to be nice?”

  “You have a suspicious mind.”

  “I know. I like it.” Maya sighed. “What I don’t like is that you’re getting drawn back in when you were fighting your way out. I don’t want to see you crying for him again, Mia.”

  She didn’t want that either, but she had a feeling there was no way to avoid it. So if she had to pay later for what she wanted today, then she’d pay. She’d missed him too much to deny herself this chance to be with him again, however briefly. He was worth the coming pain. He was worth everything to Mia.

  “I love you for that sweetie, I really do. But this is my decision.”

  Maya nodded grimly. “And your plans for January? Is that still a go?”

  “Yes,” she said quickly. “This doesn’t change that. I still want children. I’m still going to keep my appointment at the sperm bank. But I need Sam’s signature on those papers so there’s no legal confusion when I do get pregnant.”

  She didn’t want to risk still being married when she was pregnant through a donor. It might bring up custody issues and who knew how many other problems. No, she would stay with Sam until he signed the papers and then she would be free to build the family she’d always wanted. If she had to do that alone, she was ready. She had her extended family to stand with her and though her baby wouldn’t have a father, Mia would make sure her child would never doubt how much it was loved.

  “Okay, I won’t say anything else about it...”

  “Thank you.”

  “But—”

  “I knew it,” Mia muttered.

  “If Sam makes you cry again, I make no promises.”

  She’d just make sure Maya never saw her cry. “That’s so reasonable, I’m not sure who you are now.”

  Maya laughed, drained her pomegranate fizz, then set the glass down. “Okay, I’m done. Let’s go pack your stuff so you can get started on your hormonal journey.”

  “Maya...”

  * * *

  After that “talk” with Mia’s father, Sam had had enough of people. He went back to his suite and busied himself with the blueprints for their new ship. Sipping at coffee he really didn’t taste and staring at the intricate details of what would be the Buchanan line’s first Clipper ship, he tried to concentrate, but how the hell could he?

  Ridiculous. When he and Mia were together, he hadn’t had any trouble focusing on his company. All he’d had to do was remind himself that their marriage was doomed and that was enough to keep himself laser focused on business. He’d known that Mia wouldn’t be satisfied with a husband who couldn’t give her what she needed—real intimacy. And he couldn’t bring himself to tear down the walls he’d built around himself. Not even for her. They were too strong. Too implacable. But he hadn’t been scared.

  “Scared?” He snorted, picked up his coffee cup and took a swallow, only to gag when he discovered it had gone icy cold.

  He set the cup down, pushed away from the dining table and the detailed plans he’d been trying to study. Instead he walked to the French doors and stepped out onto his private balcony.

  The ocean wind rushed at him as if welcoming a long-lost friend. The scent of the sea and the distant sounds of people having a good time reached him and Sam wondered why the hell he felt so alien on his own damn boat.

  He didn’t fit in with the passengers. Or with Mia’s family. Or hell, even with Mia. And yet she was all he could think about. He didn’t much like that and hated admitting it, even to himself. But the truth was there and couldn’t be avoided.

  Mia’s eyes, her smile, her laugh, plagued his memory. The way she moved, the way she sipped at a glass of wine then licked her bottom lip in a slow swipe. The sounds she made when they had sex. The way her hair fell around her shoulders as if it were caressing her.

  The last few months without her hadn’t been easy, but at least not seeing her had allowed him to tell himself that his memories were cloudy. That he was remembering everything surrounded by some stupid rosy glow.

  But being with her again forced him to acknowledge that there was no rosy glow. It was all true. Every memory. Every haunted dream. And now she was moving in here with him just so he could what? Torture himself further?

  “What’s the damn point?”

  Sex, his brain shouted at him.

  And yeah, true. But also true was that being around her now wouldn’t change anything. He’d still be a bad bet for marriage and that’s what Mia wanted. What she deserved. A family. Husband. Kids. And as bad as he was as a husband, Sam felt sure he’d fail even more spectacularly as a father. Since he didn’t allow himself to fail, he wouldn’t put himself in a position to do just that...again. Marrying Mia the first time, when he’d known going in that it wouldn’t last, had been the exception. He shouldn’t have done it. He knew now he couldn’t give her what she wanted so why was he going to take this time with her only to cut ties and leave again?

  Because he wanted her.

  More than his next breath, Sam wanted Mia.

  Whatever it cost him.

  Whatever it cost them both.

  The knock on the door brought him up from his thoughts. He stalked across the living room, threw the door open and stared at Mia. She wore a pale yellow, short-sleeved shirt with a deep neckline and a string of tiny buttons down the front. The shirt was tucked into a pair of cream-colored slacks and her heeled brown sandals displayed toes painted a dark purple.

  Her long, reddish-gold hair was a tumble of waves around her face and draped across her shoulders. Her green eyes watched him and, in the sunlight, he noticed the spray of golden freckles across her nose and cheeks.

  In her three-inch heels, they were nearly eye to eye and all Sam could think was that he’d always liked that she was tall. Made it so much easier to kiss her.

  “Are you just going to look at me?” she asked, tipping her head to one side. “Or are you going to help me carry my stuff inside?”

  “I can do both,” he assured her and still bent down to grab her suitcase. He stepped back and waved her inside, then followed and closed the door behind them.

  Glancing at him, she said, “I thought I’d put my things in the second bedroom.”

  He’d wondered if she would try to back away from their deal. “You did? Why?”

  “Because we’re not here to play house, are we?” she asked. “It’s sex we’re both after, not real intimacy, right?”

  He set her bag down. “I think we were pretty intimate yesterday.” And he couldn’t wait to be intimate with her again.

  “Our bodies, sure,” she said, dropping her brown leather bag onto the nearest table. “But that’s all.”

  “Not enough for you?” he asked, even knowing the answer. Of course it wasn’t enough. The sex they’d shared when they were together had been amazing, and it hadn’t been enough. She’d still wanted out. Just as he’d known she would.

  “It shouldn’t be enough for anyone,” she countered.

  “Fine. Stay where you want,” he said tightly. Damned if he’d ask her to stay in his bedroom. “But no matter where you sleep, our deal stands.”

  “I won’t back out. And you won’t back out of signing those papers, either.”

  “I won’t.”

  “Good, then it’s settled.”

  If it was, it sure as hell didn’t feel like it.

  She walked to the second bedroom and stepped inside. Sam followed after her, carrying the hot-pink suitcase. He set it down on the queen-sized bed, then folded his arms across his chest and watched her as she moved about the room.

  It was smaller than his suite and the bathroom wasn’t nearly as impressi
ve, but he guessed she didn’t care about any of that. “It suit you?”

  She turned toward him, swinging her hair back from her face. “It’s fine.”

  Nodding, he asked, “What did you tell Maya about where you were going?”

  “The truth.”

  Perfect. “Bet she was happy to hear that.”

  Mia smiled briefly. “Believe it or not, she used to like you. A lot.”

  Wryly he said, “She hid it well.” Why were they so stiff and polite all of a sudden? What had happened to the woman who’d been completely free and open with him yesterday? Was she rethinking their deal? And if she was, why was she here at all?

  “Why are you here?” he asked aloud.

  “You know why,” she answered. “I need you to sign the divorce papers.”

  “And...”

  She took a deep breath and let it out again slowly. “And, because I want you. I never stopped wanting you.”

  “I feel the same,” he admitted. Then felt as though he should say more. Should make sure she knew that whatever they shared for the next ten days or so, nothing would change the reality between them. “You need to know, Mia, and to remember, that when we get back to Long Beach, everything between us ends. Again.”

  Mia laughed shortly and shook her head. “Do you think I’m daydreaming about white picket fences, Sam? No. I learned my lesson. You’re a very good teacher.”

  The expression on her face tore at him. Hurt. Anger. Disappointment, before she buried it all beneath a small smile and cool green eyes. He pushed one hand through his hair, then scrubbed the back of his neck as he searched for the words he wanted.

  “I didn’t set out to hurt you, Mia.”

  “Imagine if you’d put some effort into it,” she quipped and the sting of the words stabbed at him.

  “Right. Hell, I knew before we got married that it wouldn’t work out. I knew it was pointless.”

  Pointing her finger at him, Mia said, “And that’s the attitude that killed it.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” He hadn’t killed anything. He’d married her, hadn’t he? Even when he knew it would fall apart.