by Layna Snow
Annie was the other half of her. She’d always been there when they were younger and these past few years felt like Sophie was just surviving, not really living. She needed to be there so that Annie could feel complete as she fought her way back to health.
Maybe then she’d come back.
Still doesn’t change how they feel.
Sophie sat up, not able to lay against Thane anymore. Not able to feel his warmth without also feeling the horrible guilt.
She lost either way.
The difference was that these guys didn’t need her, and Annie did.
I have to go. She typed, simply. There was no point in long drawn out conversations. It would only hurt worse.
Hurt her.
“No.” Adrian said, leaning forward to pick up his electric…stuff.
I need to be with my sister. With my family. She needed to make sure everything was fine and beg them to forgive her for not being there.
“You signed the contract. You can’t leave. We aren’t done with you.” He was mad, but she couldn’t care. Anger wasn’t love.
The contract is void. You can’t help me find the Devil. I talked to him. I did what I needed to. You didn’t help. That means that I don’t have to stay here.
It wasn’t that she didn’t want to, but she had no choice now.
“I don’t care. You can’t just stop a contract because you don’t want what you bargained for. You think people can just get rid of a client because they don’t need the money anymore? No, that’s why they sign the contact. You don’t get to decide to break it. Thane, back me up. She has two more weeks.” Was he pleading? She couldn’t tell. A part of her hoped. But she knew that her own desire colored the situation, like rose glasses.
You didn’t say Hell weeks. It has been way more than three Earth weeks. You didn’t specify, that means it’s open to interpretation. And that means that it doesn’t work.
Didn’t it? She wasn’t sure. She wasn’t a lawyer. She hadn’t even gone to college.
“Wait, that’s not how it works, Phie. You can’t just leave. I know you want to see your sister but it doesn’t matter. You made a deal and you have to stick with it! You’re staying!” His eyes were hostile, his voice hard. He even dropped his stuff on the floor to turn and face her.
She suddenly had all his attention. It wasn’t sexual. The intensity burned her non-the-less.
But this time it hurt.
So he wanted his plaything to stay. He didn’t want to give up on all that work? Poor little Sin doesn’t get his way this time.
She didn’t know what Thane was feeling, she was afraid to look.
Actually, she was afraid he wouldn’t feel anything. It was selfish and cowardly, but that was why she had stayed this long.
Besides taking some time for herself for a change.
She was terrified of telling them that she was going. What if they didn’t care?
At least Adrian seemed to want her to stay, even if it was because of a contact. And even if it did make things more difficult.
Why do you want me to stay, Adrian? She asked, hoping that he actually cared.
If he did, she’d invite them back with her. She’d make them come with her! She’d do anything to be with them. Anything but give up Annie.
“I’m not done with you. There are other things we haven’t tried. You think we were prepping your ass for nothing? We put work into this! We trained you! And you’re leaving? No. I should get out what I put in!”
Her heart dropped to her feet.
She felt it bleeding on the floor, leaving an empty hole in its place.
In the end, she was nothing but a body to him. He talked about her curves. He made her feel beautiful. But that’s all she was, a body he was attracted to. She was an object. Not a person.
And that hurt worse than anything else. To be viewed as something without wants, desires or wishes. To have all your emotions and goals just ignored because they didn’t matter.
People didn’t love objects, despite what anyone said, and to be thought of as less than a person was horrible. Devastating.
Instead of showing it—okay, so she was sure that she still showed it—she got angry. How dare he treat her like this! Like she was nothing to him! As if her love was just something to be stepped on!
You are a selfish prick! You only care about what you want! What about me? Do you care that I want to go home? That I don’t want to be here anymore? Does it even matter to you what I want? No! Because you are insensitive! You treat me like an object, like something you own. You can’t own a person! I deserve to leave if I want to! I have things out there for me. What’s here for me? Nothing.
She wanted to erase it as soon as she wrote it, but with Thane’s gasp and Adrian taking it away from her, she didn’t get a chance.
They weren’t nothing!
They were everything she ever wanted. She hadn’t even known that she had been missing this.
But she couldn’t take it back.
“You think that makes me want to let you leave? You think I’m going to stand for that? Sorry, sweet-cheeks, but that’s not going to happen. I’ll show you what we have for you! And it starts with punishment. You don’t make the rules!”
“Adrian.” Came the replay from behind her, and Sophie scrambled off the couch to face them both. She wanted to ask them to forgive her, but she also needed to leave.
And not just for Annie.
She needed space. Needed to collect her thoughts. To protect herself from more pain.
Because she didn’t think that she could take anymore.
“No, I won’t just take her up there and let her go. She doesn’t get to say that to us! She doesn’t get to act like-“
“Enough!”
“Stop pretending to be emotionless, Thane! You don’t want her to leave either!” Sin said, turning to her and glaring. “You want to leave? Fine. Go. Good luck finding your own way, without our help and without your stuff. Go, see how far you’d get! But you won’t, because you’re smart. You learned that you can’t make it down here without help. So now what?”
Did he think he was convincing her? As if she’d just bow down to him now that she was trapped?
No!
Everything was tumbling around her mind and body, and she wasn’t sure how it would fit back together. Her love was strong, but the self-esteem that she found down here could rupture just as quickly. Like air without a balloon, it would just disappear.
“I’ll take her.” Thane said, his deep voice surprising her, and disappointing her.
He’d take her and feel nothing.
His voice was as flat as it had been the first day she had come. She thought she was getting through to him, that he was softening, but she couldn’t tell now. And she wouldn’t look at him to see. It was hard enough looking at Sin.
“You will not!” Sin yelled, striding past her to get to his friend. “You won’t take her anywhere! And you will not give it to her!”
Thane rose one eyebrow and strode towards the bedroom, completely ignoring his friend.
Sin hadn’t just stood there like she had—too numb to move—he went to the weapon area and took a sword. Then he moved back, standing in front of her, facing Thane as he returned.
She could see the confrontation coming, but she couldn’t do anything to stop it.
“I will fight you, Thane. You don’t understand. You can’t just cross me. I won’t always follow you, I don’t take orders from you. We are partners and you can’t just ignore what I say! You’ll thank me for this later. This time, I’m right.” The determination in Adrian’s voice was impossible to ignore. He wouldn’t let up.
“Never against her will.” Thane intoned. It was the most she’d ever heard him say.
“I wouldn’t rape her! She’d want it! How dare you say otherwise!” Adrian growled, and Sophie knew that if she didn’t stop them now, they’d fight. It wasn’t about her anymore.
Two alpha men couldn’t live together
forever without butting heads. She’d seen brothers fight, and knew that Thane and Adrian wouldn’t stop until one was on top, and then they’d regret it.
They’d blame her for coming between them and starting this. And she desperately wanted to avoid that. It would kill her to break this bond, even if she hadn’t meant to.
They might not understand siblings, about growing up, but they were brothers. And she knew how it felt to lose something so close to you.
Sophie took a breath and acted quickly, stepping between them and looking at Thane, who held something in his giant fist.
Her bag!
Did they find it when they were looking for her? Or when they went to train? It seemed impossible, but there it was.
It had everything she felt was important. She didn’t care about the gun, or about the food. It was the things from her family that meant the most to her. And she thought it had been lost forever.
And then a memory hit her. That first day, she was so tired, and Thane went to get something from the door, but Sin stopped him.
Had it been here? The whole time? They had her things and kept them from her. They were going to let her live without those mementos? Would Sin even have given them back when she left?
No, he wouldn’t!
Because he didn’t care about her happiness.
“You were an easy lay. You came to us, remember? Feel free to go to him. I’ll find someone else when you’re gone. Someone who knows what’s up.” His words from that night in the play room came back to slap her. To cut into her anew and rip her apart in side. She could feel her heart beating, but didn’t know how when it was nothing but dust and rubble.
Thane wanted her out and Adrian thought she was just a whore. And not a very good one. Why was he even bothering to fight for her when he could find someone new? Someone better.
Heart bleeding, and with tears streaming down her face, Sophie turned and slapped Sin. She didn’t bother with anything else. She had nothing to say to him. And she had nothing to say to Thane. He didn’t even bother to address her, this whole fight, just talked to Sin about her as if she wasn’t there.
So she took her bag from Thane and waited by the door for him to get some weapons and move the rock.
Adrian didn’t say anything, he just stormed into the bedroom.
Sophie felt empty as she walked through the darkness after Thanatos. They didn’t speak, didn’t touch. It was horrible to have to walk near him, to smell his unique scent and not be able to touch him. She wanted to tell him that she loved him, but it wouldn’t solve anything.
He still didn’t care about her. He didn’t even try to stop her or hold her when they made it back to the Hellgate. He just hoisted her up and followed her out.
She was one raw, giant ache, and not even the crackling Hellgate could come close to the pain she felt inside. What once was horrible, now felt like an inconvenience.
After they made it out of the cave, into the sun, they parted ways.
There were no goodbyes, and it was probably better that way.
People said that it is better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all, but Sophie wasn’t so sure.
She was going back to her own life, and would never see them ever again.
If it could, her heart broke a little more.
26
Thanatos didn’t watch Sophia walk away. He didn’t want to watch her leaving them. He would never get to spend time with her again, and it actually hurt. It had been years since he Fell, when his emotions had overtaken him. He had not felt this pain since.
That was why he pushed away emotions.
If he had never felt good, he would not have felt this sharp pain in his chest. It wasn’t from a wound, those healed quickly. This was something else. It was an aching that only emotion could cause.
Thanatos walked to a bunker just outside the caves and moved aside the equipment that the park staff used. Behind that was a hidden door where they kept their important electronic equipment.
Adrian had rigged certain things to work in Hell, but the phone wasn’t one of them.
Since he was out there anyways, he decided it would be ideal to check in with the Hunters.
It would also give him a little time to control himself, to get over the loss that settled in his bones and threatened to swamp him.
Before he could dial though, there was a strange weightless feeling.
His body would not move as it normally would, his mind not working quite right.
He couldn’t think. Couldn’t fight this. And that weakness tested the thin restraint that he had over himself.
Then, everything went dark.
A sharp pain brought him back to awareness. His hand strained to get to the knife at his side, only to find the sheath empty.
He never went anywhere without a weapon. It was instinct, and it was a rule when he had been an Angel.
Someone had taken them all.
Thanatos stayed calm, listening to the silence. He was at a disadvantage and he needed all the information that he could get before he acted.
Better that they think that he was unconscious.
He could sense beings around him but he had no idea where they were.
The weight of stares, of expectation and acceptance was overwhelming. It seemed like he was surrounded by thousands, and yet he didn’t feel threatened.
He cracked his eyelids open, just enough to get an idea of where he was, except, there was nothing for him to see in the white blinding light.
“Thanatos. You will rise and greet us properly.” The voice was not in English, or any other singular language. It was a blend of everything, a weird mix that told him where he was.
Only a few beings spoke like that, in that effortlessly commanding voice. They were beings that had once ruled him, and all the Angels. They were their leaders.
Archangels.
It was Michael who spoke, his voice deep and strong. The leader of the Warrior Angels was a hard man, who had always stood for what was right. Thanatos had once respected him, as much as an emotionless being could respect someone.
The Archangel was strong, confident, and demanding. He expected greatness, and would tell the Lord if anyone strayed from the path.
“We have word,” A softer voice spoke to his right. It was calm, deceptively so. Gabriel’s voice.
People often underestimated him, based on his slim figure and seemingly benign attitude
Thane opened his eyes, struggling to control the shaking in his body. His mind felt wrong, as if there was too much pressure inside. It throbbed, messing with his perception, with his ability to think and more.
He had never had a headache before.
“I cannot heal you.” The third and final Archangel, Raphael, spoke. His voice was like bells. Light, musical and enchanting.
Thanatos looked around, eyeing each of the Angels who had once stood before him, just like this, and decided his fate. They looked the same, their pants made of a white material so soft that it felt like nothing against the skin. Their chests were bare and their snow white wings stood proudly from their backs.
They looked the same, objectively. But Thane now noticed things that he hadn’t before. Tiny differences between the Archangels themselves and the rest of the Heavenly Warriors.
They held themselves differently. Muscles tightened, fists clenched. Emotion in their eyes.
They were not created like other Angels.
It was the same place. These were the same Angels, but his new emotions gave him insight that he hadn’t before.
The walls in the honeycomb-like structure were white, the floor a soft carpet. Angels stood in the small slightly open rooms, judging the different lights in front of them. Some were bright, while others floated in a darkness that was difficult to ignore. These souls would be sentenced to eternal happiness or be damned to a place in Hell that even he had not seen.
The activities were the same, but instead of the serenity he had felt befor
e, he felt confused. Instead of the understanding that this process was perfect, he now felt disillusioned.
Some of these souls didn’t have the option of purity. They had to act in despicable ways in order to survive. Hadn’t Sophia recently made a deal with the Devil in order to save someone she loved? It was both good and evil at once. How would her soul look? How would she be judged?
The thought caused a piercing sensation in his chest, as if it was being sliced open. He didn’t look down, though, he knew that there was no wound.
She can’t die.
“Enough, Thanatos. There is no room for emotion here. You must ignore them so that we can talk.” Michael said.
There was nothing he could do but listen for now. These men were the closest to God, and if He had a message for him, Thanatos could not disrespect Him by disregarding it.
He had to be satisfied knowing that Sophie was safe for now. She was on Earth, and the danger was far away.
Thanatos stood, relying heavily on his determination to keep him upright. The gravity seemed heavier. The weight pushing him down.
“You are to be given the opportunity to receive your wings back.” Gabriel said, sweeping his blond hair back from his face in a dramatic fashion. If Thane didn’t know any better, he would have assumed that the Archangel of Messages was vain.
For a moment, the words filled him with hope.
He’d get to be an Angel again. He’d get his wings back, and his emotions removed. He wouldn’t have to feel this terrible, ripping pain at the thought of losing Sophia. He wouldn’t have to struggle with himself every moment to avoid temptation.
But he knew that this deal would not include Adrian.
He could not leave his friend behind.
Despite their recent fight. Despite the grief and pain that Adrian brought into his life, the man was his partner.
Thanatos would have died without him. Countless times Adrian saved his life and his sanity. Thane owed him eternally for that. Which included keeping the other man on a fairly moral track.
He also knew that Adrian would think that he was abandoning him.
It was probably what Sophia’s sister felt when she woke up without her twin there.
