Peter Rabbit, Based on the Movie

by Frederick Warne

  “I got this,” he says. He won’t, he can’t, let anything bad happen to them.

  Benjamin sighs.

  As morning continues to break across the countryside, the rabbits sneak into the McGregor manor. More specifically, into Thomas McGregor’s bedroom. Peter, Benjamin, Flopsy, Mopsy, and Cotton-tail stand at the foot of McGregor’s bed. They all stare at him. Peter’s eyes gleam with determination.

  McGregor stirs and groggily opens one eye. He sees that there are rabbits at the end of his bed. That can’t be right. He opens the other eye. Yep, rabbits. RAH-BBITS! McGregor rushes to get up and SNAP! His hands get caught in rabbit traps. It is very painful, and not the best way to wake up at all.

  Thomas jumps out of bed. His feet hit the floor, landing right on a perfectly placed garden hoe that smacks him in the head. McGregor then steps on a rake. Ouch! He then steps on another hoe. So painful! Then a shovel and it is all too much!

  McGregor clutches at his throbbing head. He tries to balance himself.

  “Rah-bbits!”

  McGregor stumbles into the bathroom to try and wash away his painful morning. He splashes water on his red, sore face and looks in the mirror to see the damage. Except the mirror is covered in steam from the hot water. McGregor rubs it clean. And there is Peter Rabbit! Right behind him. It is just like a horror film.

  McGregor spins around and tries to lunge toward the rabbit who has made his morning miserable. But instead he slips and crashes to the ground.

  SNAP!

  McGregor yelps out in pain. He slowly staggers back up. There is a rabbit trap on his head, and Peter is long gone.

  “He’s gotta go,” says Thomas in a low growl.

  McGregor creeps to the window. He waits for Bea to leave so she won’t see what he has in store.

  As Bea pedals off from her cottage, McGregor races out to his truck. Those rabbits will be sorry they ever set traps in his house!

  Meanwhile, in the burrow, while Mopsy is sewing new clothes from all the flowery material she has swiped from the manor, Peter Rabbit is hunched over the dirt. He’s drawing out detailed battle plans, while Benjamin and Cotton-tail look on.

  “His face was so classic! ‘Aaaaah!’’’ Peter mimics the panicked look on McGregor’s face. “We got him just where we want him. Now, to the next phase.”

  Suddenly, Cotton-tail puts her ear to the ground.

  “Something’s happening,” she says.

  The rabbits run out of the burrow to see what is going on. It is McGregor. He is installing an electric fence system all around the garden. The rabbits are not the only ones watching. Pigling Bland, Tommy Brock, and Mrs. Tiggy-winkle are also there.

  “Electronic fence. This new generation with their technology,” says Pigling Bland, shaking his head sadly.

  “What’s he doing to it?” asks Tommy Brock as McGregor spreads peanut butter on the wires.

  “Baiting it,” says Peter, with a frown. McGregor was not supposed to fight back. This fence is not part of Peter’s plan.

  The animals watch as a fly lands on a particularly gooey mound of peanut butter. The fly explodes.

  “Well, I want a taste,” says Mrs. Tiggy-winkle, her eyes dancing with delight at the explosion. She marches over to the fence as the animals look on. McGregor is watching events unfold, too. Mrs. Tiggy-winkle stands up and sniffs at the peanut butter before giving it a lick.

  ZAP!

  Mrs. Tiggy-winkle goes flying! Not only that, her clothes burst off and her spines blast into all the animals.

  The animals all scurry away. A smile creeps across McGregor’s face. He is very happy with his new fence. It will definitely keep out those annoying rabbits.

  Peter realizes he now has to revise his battle plan.

  “Remember what Dad used to say to us? ‘You can’t outrun a fox, so use his speed against him.’”

  “He spoke in riddles? Cool. I wish I knew him better,” says Flopsy.

  “What did you have in mind?” says Benjamin, a worried look on his face. What is Peter up to now?

  Back at McGregor’s manor, Thomas smiles as he opens up his mail. Inside is a fancy brochure of the manor, the perfect second home for a city-dweller. Then he looks at a copy of Department Store Quarterly and spots a photo of the dopey-looking Bannerman. Underneath it reads, “Nigel Bannerman gets coveted position at Harrods.” McGregor fist-bumps the photo.

  Suddenly, something catches his eye. He picks up his binoculars and scans the garden. McGregor’s smile grows wider when he spies Peter and Benjamin at the fence.

  Peter and Benjamin are at the edge of the garden and hop toward the electric fence. McGregor leans forward.

  The bunnies grab on to the fence and McGregor winces, waiting.

  “Zap,” he says.

  Only there is no zap. There are no sparks. There is no explosion. Nothing. Benjamin starts gnawing his way through the wire, while Peter climbs right over it. The smile on McGregor’s face disappears. Why is the electric fence not working? It should be keeping the rabbits out, not letting them back in! And soon enough, all five rabbits start swinging on the fence like it is a jungle gym. They lap up all the peanut butter and march into the garden like they own the place.

  “No! What is happening?!” yells McGregor.

  He runs to the back door and grabs hold of the doorknob.

  ZAP!

  McGregor goes flying onto the ground. He lies on his back. He is completely stunned and bewildered. Did he just get an electric shock? He stumbles up to the door again and nervously reaches out for the doorknob.

  Those clever rabbits have somehow managed to redirect the powerful electrical current back toward the house and McGregor. Everything he touches shoots horrible shocks up his arm.

  ZAP!

  McGregor is again blown back. He looks out of the window. He can see Peter and Benjamin feasting on his vegetables. This is not how the plan was supposed to go! McGregor shakes himself off. He then turns on the kitchen taps and splashes some water on his face. He does not make the mistake of reaching for the doorknob again. This time he reaches to open the window.

  ZAP!

  McGregor cannot believe it! Somehow the entire manor has been electrified, just like the fence was supposed to be.

  The rabbits watch as the lights dim on and off inside the manor while the electric current surges throughout the house. The wires have been redirected from the fence to the house.

  Inside the house, McGregor stumbles up to the second floor. He is hoping that the windows will not be electrified this high up. McGregor slowly reaches out to one of the windows. When he touches it, he does not get an electric shock. Relieved, McGregor pulls open the window and climbs out onto the roof.

  “Rah-bbits!” he yells, grabbing hold of the gutter so he can climb down and get rid of the vermin once and for all.

  But McGregor has not learned his lesson. No sooner does he touch the metal pipe than, ZAP!

  Thomas blasts off the house and falls into the corn stalks below. He is too stunned to say anything.

  “And that should do it. For sure, this time,” says Peter, grinning. “Shoo.”

  Chapter Eleven

  NO MORE MR. NICE GUY

  McGregor opens his eyes. It is dark. Very dark. There is no power anywhere. It appears he is outside. He gets up and stares at the burrow before marching into the shed.

  Moments later, McGregor is back outside with a headlamp around his forehead. In his arms is a box. He walks away from the shed, past the manor and past the garden. He only stops when he reaches the burrow.

  Inside, the rabbits are sleeping peacefully after a day of showing McGregor just who is boss in this part of the countryside. But then a red stick lands on the dirt floor of the burrow. Then another. And another. More keep tumbling in, all attached to each other by a long wire. One of them hits Benjamin, w
ho wakes with a jump. When he sees what has woken him up, his eyes go very, very wide. A collection of red explosive sticks is now inside the burrow. Inside their home.

  McGregor is kneeling beside the entrance to the burrow. He dumps the whole box of explosives down the entrance to the burrow, followed by the detonator.

  The rabbits are now fully awake. They hold on to the ceiling and wait for the explosion to come.

  Pleased with his efforts, McGregor stands up with the remote control in his hand. One quick press of the button and the burrow will explode. BOOM! McGregor smiles. For, you see, McGregor has assumed the bunnies are not in the burrow at this very moment.

  “Thomas! What are you doing over there?” Bea calls from outside her cottage.

  McGregor looks up and scrabbles around for something to say. He definitely cannot tell Bea what he is really up to. That he is about to blow up the burrow.

  “Picking wildflowers!” McGregor calls out. “There’s one that looks effervescent in moonlight!”

  Thomas yanks some flowers out of the ground and makes his way over to Bea’s cottage, pocketing the remote control as he goes.

  Carefully, the rabbits try not to touch any part of the floor as they make their way around the room toward the exit. They form a rabbit chain and help each other out to safety. As they leave the burrow and look around into the night, they see a floating headlamp outside Bea’s cottage. It is attached to McGregor. The person who has just tried to blow up their home. The headlamp, and McGregor, head inside with Bea, and the rabbits follow.

  The cottage is filled with candles. It is all very romantic. The rabbits watch as Bea kisses the man who has just tried to blow them up.

  “OK, so he’s snookered her. We just have to un-snooker her,” says Peter, determined to get Bea away from McGregor once and for all.

  “Yeah! Wait, what?” says Cotton-tail.

  “We show her the real him. The guy who’s been trying to kill us. She sees that, she’ll shoo him,” says Peter, happy with his new plan.

  “Exactly. Wait, did we train for this?” asks Flopsy.

  “It’s exactly what we trained for,” replies Peter.

  “Right. Wait, which part?” says Mopsy, confused.

  “Just follow my lead,” says Peter, beckoning for the rabbits to follow.

  “He’s got this,” says Benjamin, confidently.

  The next morning, McGregor is woken by a loud THWUMP. Then a SPLAT. It’s fruit at the window. He is getting sick and tired of waking up to the annoying sounds of the country, and those pesky vermin.

  Thomas is about to get out of bed but he stops and checks for traps first. Thankfully the room seems clear, so he gets out of bed.

  Another THUMP.

  McGregor goes to open the window, then stops. Carefully, he uses his top to test it first to see if it will give him an electric shock. It doesn’t. He opens the window and sticks his head out. All the bunnies are in the garden, shooting fruit.

  “Rah-bbits!” yells McGregor, noticing that the electric fence has been taken down.

  McGregor races downstairs and opens the front door. He then charges into the garden and jumps over the gate. McGregor grabs his hoe and is just about to run the rabbits out of his garden once and for all when a voice stops him in his tracks.

  “Morning, Thomas!” says Bea. She steps outside from her cottage, holding a paintbrush in one hand.

  McGregor screeches to a halt.

  “Yes! Give him everything!” yells Peter.

  The rabbits sling all the vegetables and fruit they have at McGregor. He tries his best to ignore them and talk to Bea.

  “Morning!” he says, trying not to engage with the rabbits or their fruit.

  THWAP! SPLAT! THUNK!

  “Lunch later?” asks Bea, too far away to see what the rabbits are doing to Thomas.

  “That would be wonderful!” says McGregor as more fruit lands.

  “OK then! See you later!” says Bea. As she’s about to go back inside, she remembers something else. “Red or white wine?”

  THWAP! CLUNK!

  “Either one!” says McGregor, dodging a tomato.

  “You choose!” says Bea.

  “White!” yells McGregor as fruit lands on his face.

  Peter and the rabbits are making progress, they can just feel it. McGregor will crack at any moment, right in front of Bea!

  McGregor turns to stare at the rabbits as Bea heads back inside her cottage. He needs to calm down and think calm thoughts. The rabbits all look at Peter. That did not go at all as planned. McGregor was supposed to get angry in front of Bea, so she could see the real him!

  “Blackberries,” says Peter, suddenly.

  The bunnies race to the blackberry bush and grab one scraggily berry each. They begin throwing them at McGregor with real gusto. Thomas cleverly ducks and dodges each one. The berries sail past their mark. Flopsy, though, still has hers. She rears back with all her might while Mopsy motions for Flopsy to aim wide right.

  Flopsy lets the blackberry go and it flies right down McGregor’s open mouth. Flopsy did it! She jumps up and down in delight as Mopsy cheers her on.

  “Blackberry,” McGregor gasps, and clutches his throat. He starts to turn red and choke. He staggers, unable to breathe, and drops to his knees. McGregor stares at Peter and the others and they laugh back in his face, willing him to react. What’s he going to do about it?

  Quickly, McGregor takes out his Epi-pen and stabs himself in the thigh. Adrenaline surges through his body.

  “Aah!” he says as he sucks in lungfuls of air, beautiful, beautiful air. Then his face darkens.

  “That’s it!” McGregor charges into the garden, right through the gate and right back out of the garden, and across the way.

  The rabbits watch as a determined McGregor heads straight for the burrow. Oh dear!

  McGregor pulls the explosives out of the burrow’s entrance and marches back toward the manor. He’s furious and drops some in his anger, including the one that has the detonator attached to it.

  Peter watches and smiles. McGregor is losing it. Bea will soon see the sort of man he is.

  “And we’ve got him,” says Peter, turning to the others. “Remember your training.” The rabbits all scamper away.

  McGregor charges into the garden and into the shed. He emerges with his lighter and sets about lighting one of the red stick explosives before tossing it into one of the vegetable patches.

  BOOM!

  A cauliflower explodes in front of the rabbits. They dive out of the way.

  BOOM! An eggplant explodes next.

  BOOM!

  BOOM!

  BOOM!

  Three corn cobs shoot off their stalks like fireworks. The battle is on.

  “She’ll be here in no time,” says Peter, rubbing his paws together.

  What Peter and the others don’t know is that Bea will not be there anytime soon because she cannot hear anything. Bea is busy painting and listening to some calming music. The tunes completely drown out the sound of the shouting AND the exploding vegetables.

  The rabbits fight back. Peter finds a clean shot of McGregor.

  “Now,” he calls.

  The rabbits start attacking McGregor with any vegetables that he has not yet blown up. He staggers to the ground but still manages to light another explosive. The rabbits’ eyes go wide as a rain of fire falls from above them.

  BOOM! A cabbage explodes.

  The rabbits dive for cover. Then a bunch of radishes. Shards of vegetables explode everywhere as the rabbits try to avoid the shrapnel.

  Next, a green leafy vegetable explodes and hits Peter right in the mouth.

  “Ugh. Kale,” he says as he spits it out.

  Benjamin takes a clear shot at McGregor with a stalk of Brussels sprouts. The sprouts hit thei
r target and explode in his face like a grenade.

  “Nice, Benjamin!” says Peter

  “Doesn’t mean I approve!” Benjamin replies. “Why isn’t she here yet? How could she not have heard all this?”

  Bea is still listening to music while painting a portrait that seems to get worse with each brush stroke. She has no idea about the vegetable battle happening outside. And the assaults continue as McGregor lights more explosives and the rabbits throw more vegetables.

  Animals have come from everywhere to watch the fight unfold. Pigling Bland, Tommy Brock, the squirrels, and Mrs. Tiggy-winkle look from one side of the battle to the other, munching on corn like it’s popcorn.

  “I’m hit!” shouts Flopsy suddenly.

  “Flopsy, noooo!” says Mopsy, turning to her sister in horror. Flopsy’s fur is covered in red. Flopsy gives it a lick.

  “It’s just a beet! I’m fine! This is getting quite scary, Mopsy,” says Flopsy.

  “I know. But Peter knows what he’s doing, right?” Mopsy looks across the battlefield as explosions, hand-to-hand combat and flying vegetables are launched across the garden. Then, a plum flies into the shed window. The gerbils are bunkered inside, shaking and shell-shocked.

  “I want to go back to the cage,” says one of the gerbils.

  “Let’s find a pet store. We’re not built for freedom,” says the other gerbil. They hold each other for a moment, take a deep breath, and make a dash across the battlefield to the other side.

  Benjamin is worried for the triplets.

  “I’m getting the girls out of here!” he yells at Peter above the noise.

  “No! Trust me! She’ll come! I got thi—” But before Peter can finish, his face gives him away. He’s worried this time, really worried.

  Chapter Twelve

  BEA TO THE RESCUE