Still The One: A Small Town Friends to Lovers Romance (The Heartbreak Brothers Book 2)

by Carrie Elks

  “She’s okay. Gone to bed early. She’s heading to the pool with some friends tomorrow.” Her lips curled at the thought of her sister, and he wanted to kiss them again. He curled his hands into fists to stop himself.

  “And your mom? Have you heard from her?”

  “You know she’s gone away?”

  He shrugged. “Becca told me. I was surprised when I heard it. I never thought she’d go to rehab.”

  “Me either.” Her eyes met his. “But she’s there.” She shrugged. “We get to see her next weekend.”

  “That’s good.” He glanced at her bed. It was a mistake. Because all the memories of touching her while in bed came flooding back. “Can we go to the kitchen to talk?” he asked her.

  “Sure.” Her brows dipped. “Why?”

  “Because if we stay in here I’m going to need to touch you.”

  “What if I want to be touched?”

  Her words sent a shot of desire through him that was almost impossible to ignore. And yet he had to. They needed to talk. He swallowed hard, trying to harness his willpower.

  “You’re not making this easy,” he told her. “I’m really trying to be strong here.”

  “I’ve missed you,” she said softly. The way she was looking at him almost killed him. There was a need in her eyes that reflected his own.

  “Yeah.” His voice was strangled. “I’ve missed you, too.”

  She reached out to cup his cheek, her fingers splaying across his rough skin. She stepped forward until her body pressed against his, and desire immediately shot through him.

  He dropped his brow to hers, his lashes sweeping down as he stared at her. “Van…”

  “I know,” she whispered. “But please kiss me first. I need to feel you. Then we can talk.”

  The wisp of control that was holding him back seemed to dissipate as he stared down at her, taking in her warm eyes, her soft lips, her pink cheeks. She was looking at him like he was the air she breathed. It made him ache all over.

  For her.

  “Damn,” he whispered, sliding his palm up her neck, tangling his fingers into her hair until her head was angled perfectly to his. She overwhelmed his senses. He was full of her. The scent of her strawberry shampoo, the sight of her wide eyes staring into his. He could hear her, too. Soft sighs that made him harder than he’d ever felt before. He tried to remember why he was here, what he was planning to do. But all he could think about were her enticing lips.

  Slowly, he lowered his mouth to hers. They touched as she breathed out, warm air caressing his skin. His tongue pressed against hers, and she let out a low moan, flinging her arms around his neck to steady herself.

  God, he needed her. She arched her back, kissing him, hot and needy, and he scooped his arms beneath her, lifting her until her legs wrapped around his hips. Carrying her over to the bed, he dropped her onto the mattress, his eyes dark as he went to climb on top of her.

  You need to talk, dumbass.

  “Get the fuck out of here,” he muttered with annoyance.

  “What?” Van frowned.

  He shook his head. “Not you. It’s Logan. He’s messing with my mind.”

  She propped herself up on her elbows, and he tried really hard not to stare at the way her t-shirt molded against her breasts. “Logan’s here?”

  “Nope, he’s in Boston. I still want to kill him though.” He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck with the palm of his right hand. “Come on, let’s go talk.”

  “Now?” She sounded disappointed. He felt the same.

  “Yeah, now.”

  She nodded. “Okay. You want me to make you coffee?”

  “Coffee would be great.” He followed her out of the bedroom, his aching hardness protesting at the sudden change of heart. “And if it’s okay with you, I’m going to talk really fast.”

  Van sat on the sofa, her knees against her chest, her arms wrapped around her calves, as Tanner took a sip of black coffee.

  He’d insisted on sitting in the recliner on the other side of the room. She knew why. Every time they were close they ended up touching each other. They nearly stripped each other in the kitchen as she filled the coffee filter.

  Her eyes met his. “Shall we talk?”

  “Can I go first?”

  Van nodded.

  He put his coffee mug down on the table. “First of all, I want to say I’m sorry. Not just for the other night, though that was bad enough. But for every time I’ve walked away from you. It’s happened more than it ever should’ve. And I can promise you that whatever happens between us, I’ll never be the one to walk away again.” He looked up at her, his expression serious. “I’m in love with you, Van Butler. And I never want to hurt you.”

  “Okay,” she said softly.

  “And we need to talk about what happened between us when you came to Duke. We should have talked about it weeks ago.”

  “I didn’t want to talk about it. It hurt too much,” she whispered.

  “I know. And I didn’t want to either. But maybe those things that hurt are the things we should be talking about. The things that matter to us. And what happened between us matters, Van. Because it ruined both of our lives. It didn’t have to, but we let it. Because we refused to talk it through.”

  “That makes sense.”

  “Yeah, it does.” He nodded. “And I want you to know that girl meant nothing. I was a kid, I was angry, and I needed someone to hold me. As soon as I did it, I knew she was the wrong someone.”

  “We weren’t together then. It wasn’t like you were cheating.”

  “Yeah, well tell my heart that. Because it’s always been yours. And I never want to be with anybody but you. I’ve never stopped regretting that night. Everything about it. It should never have happened, and that’s all my fault. I’m so damn sorry I hurt you.” He winced at the memory. “But the thing I hate the most is that I froze and let you walk away. I’m never going to do that again.”

  “It was my fault, too,” Van told him. “I’m the one that lied to you. I told you I didn’t want you anymore. I think that’s why it hurt so bad seeing you with her. I pushed you away. I hated myself for it, and the only person I could take it out on was you.”

  “I don’t want you to lie to me,” he told her. “The truth, no matter how painful, is so much better than lies. Even little white ones that you think are protecting me.”

  Her eyes watered. “I’m so sorry for hurting you. Ten years ago and now.”

  Those words made his chest tighten. He hadn’t realized how much he needed to hear that, too.

  “It’s okay,” he told her. “I’m the one who’s sorry. I just want you to let me take care of you. I don’t need anything else. I want you to let me through your barriers. For you to be more honest with me than you’ve been with anybody. Including yourself.” He looked down at his hands. “And in return, I promise you that I won’t walk away. Not even when you push me as hard as you can. I’ll fight for you, Van. Every damn time. Because you’re worth fighting for. But you’ve got to let me in. I can’t break down your barriers if you don’t help me. And I want to pull them away, one by one.”

  “I was scared,” she said quietly. “So scared that if I let you in you might not like what you see.”

  His eyes met hers. “I love what I see. I love you. Every beat of my heart feels like it belongs to you.”

  Her breath caught in her throat, but she didn’t pull her gaze away. She could feel the hot pulse of her blood as they stared at each other, the air crackling with electricity. She parted her lips, a soft sigh escaping from them, before she took a long, deep breath.

  “I love you, too,” she whispered. “So much.” She’d never said it before. Not to anybody. For so long love had meant weakness in her world. But now she knew it didn’t. It brought a strength that no army could break down. It was solid. It was true.

  It was everything.

  Tanner took a deep breath in, his eyes flashing. “Say it again,” he said, his voice ro
ugh.

  “I’m in love with you.” This time her voice was loud. True. “I’ve loved you since the first time you knocked me over. And I’ll love you until I die. Until we both do. And I pray with everything I’m worth that it’ll be curled up together, all wrinkled with kids older than we are now.”

  He squeezed his eyes shut, then opened them again, his stare dark and full of meaning. “Come here,” he said gruffly. “I fucking need you.”

  He didn’t need to ask twice. A normal person would have walked around the coffee table, along the wall to the chair. But not Van. She leaped onto the table, ready to cross it to him, but he stood, scooping her off it, lifting her until their lips clashed together, and she was curled around him like a monkey.

  “Enough talking,” he muttered, carrying her out of the living room and down the hallway, kicking her bedroom door open and walking inside.

  When he kicked the door closed behind him, their kisses slowed. They were deeper, their breathing rougher, as he slowly lowered her to her bed.

  This time they didn’t talk. They didn’t need to. He’d told her everything she needed to know.

  He loved her, he worshiped her. He wanted to take care of her.

  And she’d let him, with every sweep of his lips and feathered touch of his fingers, lifting her up into a place where words weren’t needed anymore.

  When it was over, she lay in his arms in a post-sex haze, smiling at him as he softly stroked her hair.

  “Can I stay?” he asked her.

  “Yeah. All night.” She grinned at him. “I’ll even make you breakfast in the morning.”

  He lifted a brow. “What will the neighbors say?”

  She leaned forward to kiss him. “I don’t give a damn.”

  Tanner grinned, sliding his arms around her waist and pulling her to his body. “That’s my girl,” he murmured against her lips. “Now let’s give them something to really talk about.”

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  “Are you ready for this?” Tanner asked, taking Van’s hand in his as they walked along the creek.

  “As I’ll ever be.” She smiled at Tanner, but her stomach still felt funny. Like she hadn’t eaten for days when she’d just had a second helping of chicken pot pie at the diner. Tanner was carrying their things – two fold up chairs and a cooler with drinks inside, looking completely at ease with himself. He gave her a crooked grin, the corners of his eyes crinkling up, and she felt his warmth washing over her.

  Which was a good thing, because summer was almost over, and there was a hint of fall in the air as they walked. The smell of ripe apples wafted in the breeze, and pieces of corn drifted from the fields as the harvest came to a peak. Last night, Zoe had begun to plan her Halloween outfit, even though school had only just gone back.

  Or at least it seemed that way.

  Swimming pools were closing up, orchards were opening for picking, and the busy summer season at the drive-in was coming to an end.

  They wouldn’t close up completely. She’d spent the past few weeks planning their winter program, which would mean opening only on Friday and Saturday nights. Scary movies in October, some long-awaited blockbusters in November, and then their holiday movie season. She smiled at the thought of it.

  “You’re here!” Zoe said, running over and giving Van a hug. Then she grinned up at Tanner, who put the chairs down and ruffled her hair.

  “Hey, kid.” He smiled.

  “How was your playdate?” Van asked her. Another change, as if this season didn’t have enough of them. Zoe was finally being asked over to her friends’ house. Probably because they loved hanging out at the drive-in whenever Van invited them over.

  “Playdates are for babies.” Zoe frowned. “I went to a friends for dinner.”

  Van bit down a smile. Her sister was growing up. “Did you have fun?”

  “Yeah. Milly has this amazing jungle gym. It’s as big as a house. We made a den at the top of it and pretended it was a tree house.”

  “See.” Tanner winked at Van. “Not playing at all.”

  They found a spot with the younger crowd, pulling open the chairs and putting their refreshments on the shared table at the center, before Tanner poured them both a glass of lemonade.

  It had been his idea to come here tonight. People didn’t stare as much as they used to. Gossip had moved on since that night at the drive-in where her mom had told everybody about Johnny Fairfax being her father. They were too busy talking about the size of Maddie’s baby bump – she was at least as big as Regan Laverty was before she gave birth to her little girl, who had perfectly round cheeks that Van had already fallen in love with.

  “Hey!” Becca shot to her feet, running over to give Van a hug. “It’s so good to see you. It feels like forever.”

  “We saw you on Sunday,” Tanner said dryly. “That was what, five days ago?”

  Becca wrinkled her nose at him. “Like I said, forever.” She looked around. “How’s your mom doing?”

  “Good.” Van nodded. “She has a job interview next week.” There had been ups and downs since she came home from rehab, but she was so much better than she had been. There were still days when she couldn’t even get herself out of bed, but she’d kept her word and hadn’t drunk a sip of alcohol to try to ward off the misery. She’d even started AA.

  “I’ll keep my fingers crossed for h—” Becca stopped mid word, her mouth closing quickly as she looked over Van’s shoulder.

  Van twisted her head to follow her stare. Chrissie Fairfax was standing at the table, pouring two glasses of lemonade. Nora was next to her, though there was no sign of Johnny. When they saw her, they both quickly looked away.

  Van squared her shoulders and gave Becca a reassuring smile. They didn’t bother her. Not any more. It was funny how they never said nasty things for her to hear anymore. They seemed almost scared of her – more than once when she’d been in the town square she’d seen Nora hurrying away in the other direction.

  Van brought her attention back to Becca. “Are Maddie and Gray coming tonight?”

  “Yeah.” Becca frowned, looking at the watch on her slim wrist. “They should have been here by now.”

  “They’re coming.” Tanner nodded in the other direction. Van could see them now, Gray had his arm around Maddie, who was walking as slow as molasses. Still, they both looked stunning. Gray, tall, strong and sexy, and Maddie wearing a yellow-and-white flowered dress, her dark hair flowing behind her as they reached the main group of Chairs.

  “Did I miss anything?” Gray asked, looking at Tanner.

  He shook his head. “Not a thing.”

  “Good. We would’ve been here half an hour ago, but we thought Maddie might have been in labor.”

  Maddie grimaced. “Turned out it was just gas. Gray’s face was a picture when I let out the hugest burp.”

  “It was pretty bad.” Gray was biting down a smile.

  “Are you okay now?” Becca asked, looking worried.

  “I’m fine. I’ve got weeks to go.” Maddie’s hand slid over her bump, a smile pulling at her lips. “You should have seen Gray panic though. It’s like he’s the one who’ll be doing all the pushing.”

  “That wasn’t panic. I just like being ready.” Gray tipped his head to the side, looking at her through narrowed eyes. God, he was good looking. He and Tanner and all their brothers.

  The Heartbreak Brothers. Van bit down a smile at the description.

  “Anyway, enough of our problems,” Gray said, turning his gaze to Tanner. “If only somebody around here would take the limelight off me.”

  Becca sniggered. It took Van a moment to realize that every one of them was staring at Tanner. She frowned, wondering what was going on.

  “Get off my ass.” Tanner shook his head, and Gray chuckled.

  “I’ve heard that one before.”

  “I’ve always known you Hartsons were crazy.” Van rolled her eyes. “But now you’re reaching another level. What on earth are you all talking abou
t?”

  “Don’t include me in the Hartsons,” Maddie said. “I’m still a Clark.”

  “You’re carrying a Hartson, baby,” Gray pointed out, looking pleased with himself as he caressed Maddie’s bump. “That makes you one of us.”

  Tanner shook his head at them all, then took Van’s hand between his. “Come with me,” he murmured.

  “Gladly.” She grinned at his family. “You’re all crazy.”

  “That’s why you love us,” Becca told her, grinning.

  Stupid thing, but it was true. Since Van had moved in with Tanner a few months ago – officially, that was, since she’d spent most nights with him since they reconciled – it had felt like she was finally part of something. They loved her the way she loved them, and they included her, Zoe, and even Kim in their daily lives. Dinners on Sundays after church, cookouts at Maddie and Gray’s at least every other weekend, and of course they all came to the drive-in whenever there was a new movie showing.

  Tanner guided her to the center of the grassy field, and climbed up on an empty chair. “Hey, everybody!” he shouted out. The low murmur of conversation stopped, as heads turned to look at him. Van looked up at him, her brows furrowed together.

  What the hell was he doing?

  As soon as everyone’s attention was on him, Tanner grinned, and he took her breath away. She’d never get enough of him. Of that thick, crazy hair, or those eyes that seemed to see into her very soul.

  Or his lips. God, his lips. She swallowed hard remembering exactly what they did to her last night.

  His eyes caught hers. “I want to tell you a little story,” he said, his voice projecting over the field. “About a small girl who smelled of strawberries and looked like the sun. And the little boy who ran into her and almost flattened her to the ground.” He winked at Van. “Not knowing that in reality, he was the one who’d been bowled over.”

  She shook her head. This was so very Tanner. The crowd gathered around them, craned forward to listen.

  “And when that kid looked up at the angel he’d almost knocked over, he knew his life was never going to be the same. It was going to be better. Always. Because she was in it.”