by Kat T. Masen
I scrunch my nose, not needing to know that my parents had sex inside an office.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Right, okay?” Eric nods his head with his lips pressed. “We’re in the denial phase.”
“I am not in the denial phase!”
My raised voice catches my dad’s attention from across the pool. I lower my head, sinking back into the chair.
“Austin is in LA with family, and Will is on some business trip. They are not here for two very different reasons. As for your love triangle assumption, you must be in love with two men for it to be a love triangle. I’m marrying one man, end of story.”
“Hmmm…your mother once said that.”
“Must you remember everything?”
“Listen.” Eric sits up and places his hand on my leg. “You can fight it and tell yourself it’s nothing, but in the end, the heart only want’s what it wants. And no other person will ever fill the shoes of the man you’re in love with.”
I don’t respond to what Eric says, keeping my thoughts private. Everyone seems to have an opinion on my life and how I feel. The more I think about it, the more it angers me. Why doesn’t anyone believe my love for Austin? And why does everyone assume I am just like my mother? Sure, we have similarities, but she chose a certain path, and it doesn’t mean I will follow the same.
The rest of the afternoon is spent by the pool drinking mimosas and margaritas, courtesy of Mom. Ava hired chefs to serve us food, which of course—tasted amazing.
The sun becomes too much for my skin, forcing me to dive into the pool to cool myself down. It is only us younger ones now aside from Mom and Aunt Adriana who retreated to the kitchen. The older men opted to hit the golf course though Uncle Rocky looked too excited to be playing golf. I suspected something raunchier, but I wasn’t even sure if it were possible given the time of day.
Nikki isn’t one to care, mentioning to us that no matter what Rocky does, he is always the dog who waits at the front door for their owner. It’s comical—to say the least.
The music had been cranked up, the vibe mellow and chilled. Andy and Nash are still hovering around Gigi and Kylie like a bad smell, despite Jessa and Luna’s attempts to embarrass them.
Ava tried to start a game of volleyball, but it ended within a few minutes when the ball went flat.
The jar of mojitos is empty, so I offer to grab more from the kitchen. Unable to juggle my towel, I throw it back on the lounge and grab the jug along with an empty bowl of crisps. My hair has finally dried, still in a tangled mess as I walk back inside while humming the tune to the song which last played. I turn the hallway only to crash into a body; hands gripping my arms as the shock stills me.
Before I can even comprehend anything, the electric current runs through every part of my body, forcing me to breathe and glance upwards.
The ocean blue eyes are staring at me, deep and climbing into my soul where it once called home. Every nerve is firing all at once, unable to calm down amongst the frenzy building within me.
“Amelia,” Will murmurs, his voice so deep and etched in my memory. “Are you okay?”
I shake my head while swallowing the lump which formed inside my throat. My heart is racing like a pack of animals released into the wild, but I beg of myself to compose my actions in front of the one man I never expected to see at this moment.
“I’m fine, just surprised to run into someone,” I say, trying to even my tone and appear unaffected. “And that someone being you. What are you doing here? I thought you had some meeting in Hong Kong?”
Will lets go of my arms, and instantly—I feel the loss. He takes the bowl from my arms, until his eyes fall toward my chest. I’m unsure what to say, given I’m wearing a white bikini and suddenly feel very exposed. Will’s eyebrows pull together as he struggles to keep his expression hidden. The torment is evident in his eyes, but I can’t blame him—I would be the same if he walked out almost naked in front of me.
And then just like that, the memory of just how delicious this man looks naked comes rushing to my mind. My body begins to react, but I’m unable to cover my chest as my nipples harden. I raise the jug to cover my chest, the irony not lost on me.
Will clears his throat, breaking his gaze. “Plans changed.”
“Um, okay,” I mumble, unsure what to say since our last encounter didn’t end well.
“Look, Amelia, I’m here for my dad, and that is it. I’m not here to get in your way, in fact, you probably won’t see me much.”
“No.” I shake my head, suddenly disappointed. “I want to see you. In fact, come hang out with us at the pool. Just like old times.”
“Are you sure?”
“Why wouldn’t I be sure? Just because we dated years ago, doesn’t mean we can’t get along for the weekend, for the sake of family.”
“If you say so.” He hands me back the bowl with a delicious smirk on his lips. I can’t seem to pull myself away, drawn to the memory of them kissing every inch of my body. “I’m going to get changed.”
“I’m going to grab more drinks. I’ll see you by the pool.”
He disappears down the corridor as I continue to stand frozen on the spot. I didn’t plan for Will to be here this weekend, nor did I plan to invite him to hang out with us. What the hell am I thinking? Being friends with him is not as easy as I play it out in my head.
But just because feelings still lingered, it doesn’t make it a love triangle as Eric so eloquently put it.
The feelings are resurfacing because once upon a time, we shared our lives with one another and with that, we created untouchable memories.
We built a special type of bond and our friendship grew with it.
So, yes—I miss Will.
I miss the friendship we once had. And there’s nothing wrong with that, nor should I feel guilty. My relationship with Austin is not in jeopardy.
Yet even I knew deep down inside if I allowed myself a moment of truth, part of what Eric said is right.
Denial is a curse in itself.
How long I am able to keep lying to myself, I am yet to find out.
12
AMELIA
My skin is flushed, traces of pink and red on my normally even skin, almost like I stepped out of a scalding hot bath.
I walk toward the kitchen where Mom and Aunt Adriana are busily chatting while drinking some cocktail. Jessa mentioned not long ago Kate and Nikki were heading out to pick up a few things.
“Are you okay? Why are you bright red? Is it Eric’s tanning lotion because I swear whatever is in that is not legal,” Aunt Adriana questions before she narrows her eyes, then offers a deep sigh. “Oh, sorry. I just kind of put two and two together. My brain is slow when I’ve been drinking.”
“Will was just in here,” Mom concludes with a half-smile.
“Look, we’re both adults and still family,” I tell them both, drawing a breath. “Why should we be awkward around each other just because we dated? I mean, you’re fine around Uncle Julian.”
The second it leaves my mouth, I begin to scold myself. It was insensitive for me to mention it. “Sorry, Aunt Adriana, I didn’t mean to sound so…”
Aunt Adriana laughs softly. “Amelia, relax. It’s fine now, and I’m sure Charlie will say the same. But yes, once upon a time it wasn’t easy to all be in the same room as each other. We’ve come a long way since then.”
“We have,” Mom agrees, taking the jug from me and refilling it. “Just enjoy yourself this weekend. Don’t put any pressure on yourself to act a certain way. You do you, boo.”
I let out an obnoxious laugh. “Mom, did Ava teach you that?”
“Alexandra, but I suspect it did a full circle from Ava.”
The three of us laugh before I let out a heavy sigh. “Why is there so much stigma around ex-lovers and relationships.”
“There doesn’t have to be, unless you let it,” Mom points out.
Aunt Adriana takes a sip of her cocktail.
“It’s times like this where I’m glad to have no ex-lovers. Just two men I love very much.”
I can’t help but smile, knowing Aunt Adriana still loves Andy’s father as if he never left.
“I better go outside,” I inform them with a heavy sigh. “Andy and Nash are neck-in-neck in trying to win Gigi’s attention.”
“Ah, Gigi,” Aunt Adriana brags with a smile. “That girl is like every man’s wet dream.”
“Maybe your future daughter-in-law?”
She chuckles, shaking her head. “Between you and me, I’m hoping that Andy takes his time. This whole falling in love and not thinking straight can wreak havoc on your life. He’s such a good man, plus Julian and him have a big South American trip planned.”
I walk back outside thinking about what Aunt Adriana just said. If anyone knew just how hard the love thing is, it had to be her. I can’t even fathom what she went through all those years and so glad she found a man who loves her just as much as she loves him.
The music gets louder as I walk closer to the large glass doors. Everyone is in the pool, laughing and playing around in the afternoon sun. But my eyes gravitate toward the cabana where Will is standing with Gigi. He is wearing board shorts and sunglasses, his torso completely exposed. I forgot just how sexy he is, every part of him ripped including his abs.
Maybe I didn’t forget, I purposely buried the memory.
Gigi is standing beside him, laughing, only to touch his arm. A slight growl escapes my throat as a burning sensation spreads throughout me. Why is she even talking to him? Didn’t they just meet like a minute ago? I never liked Gigi. Sure, she’s beautiful but a serial flirter.
And why are Andy and Nash in the pool ignoring this? Shouldn’t they be holding her attention, not Will?
I place the jug down and pour myself a drink only for Ava to yell out for one. Will turns his glance toward where I stand, but I ignore him. Ava hops out of the pool and takes the drink from me.
“Why the face?”
“What face?” I ask, looking into the sky. “It’s hot out here.”
“Uh-huh,” she mouths, placing the straw in her mouth and taking a long sip. “You pissed he came? I literally just found out.”
“No, it’s fine. I just don’t understand why Gigi is all over him.”
Ava turns to where they stand as Will gives us another side-eye glance. Gigi is still touching him, making it so obvious, thrusting her perky tits into his face.
“That’s Gigi.”
“That’s Gigi?” I contest, folding my arms. “Why don’t you say something?”
Ava turns back to face me. “And what exactly would you like me to say? Will is single. She is single. As far as I am concerned, no one is crossing any boundaries. As for you, if you have a problem, then you say something.”
How can I even argue this? I have no right to be upset, the ring on my finger contradicts my misplaced emotions. I’m a hypocrite for even feeling remotely jealous. Ava nudges me as Will begins walking over to us. My gaze falls onto the ground, not wanting to unleash my anger onto him and trying to ignore how his shirtless torso is cut to perfection.
“Why the long face, Edwards?” Will mocks, standing behind me. “Are you sad your fiancé isn’t here to whisper sweet nothings into your ear?”
My gaze flicks upwards, straight to his arrogant smirk. What a dick thing to say! This is so Will. Always pushing my buttons and goading some reaction from me.
“Don’t you have somewhere else to be? Like Gigi’s vagina?”
Will places his hand on his heart with a coy and insincere smile. “Ouch, sounds like you’re jealous?”
Ava lowers her head, jumping in the pool with a smirk on her face.
“To be jealous, I would have to actually care,” I tell him, placing my hands on my hips. “A leopard doesn’t change its spots.”
“You know, I’d be careful with that mouth of yours especially since you’re standing so close to the edge of the pool.”
My eyes fall upon the water. “You wouldn’t dare.”
“Hmmm, I remember saying the same thing to you when you were a kid and then…” his hands wrap around my waist until I’m thrown into the air and straight into the water. I gulp for air, trying to catch my breath though swallowing some water before I come up to the surface annoyed as hell.
“You asshole!”
Will leans forward as I swim to the edge. When I’m close enough, he cups my chin and murmurs, “Nice and wet.”
I pull on his arm, forcing him into the pool, laughing when he comes up for air. “Never mess with the messee.”
Will pulls my bikini bottom to bring me closer. “Is that a challenge, Miss Edwards?”
I shake my head with a grin. “It’s like you don’t remember just how bad I can be.”
Our gaze falls upon each other, my heart racing just like it used to every time we were within reach of each other. A stolen glance, while only momentary, runs deep into my core, exposing feelings I’ve long buried.
“Oh, I remember,” he replies with a cocky grin. “Impossible to forget.”
Andy yells at Will to join him and Nash at the other end of the pool, breaking our tense exchange. I purposely dunk myself under the water to distract myself and willing my heart rate to slow down.
Shortly after, the men arrive back and jump in the pool. Uncle Rocky is relentless by bombing in the water, then taking a selfie with Gigi and Kylie. He begs Ava to post the pic in her story so he can slide into her DM’s and see which hot chicks are commenting.
I move toward the edge as everyone is swimming, all besides Dad who sitting on a lounge chair by himself. I climb out of the pool and grab a towel, sitting beside him.
Even though he is wearing sunglasses, his expression remains blank. His focus is on Will, but there is nothing to indicate or tell me how he feels.
“You want to go for a walk to the beach?” I ask, knowing he is uncomfortable being here.
He nods with a smile before we begin to walk the grounds. The wind picks up, but the sun is still strong enough to keep my skin warm.
“I know you’re not happy Will is here. I want you to know I had no clue. In fact, Ava told me he was supposed to be in Hong Kong.”
“Yes, I know. And he was.”
“Dad, it’s going to be okay. I am okay.”
Dad stops beside me, which prompts me to stop as well. The beach is practically deserted, only a few families around with kids playing in the sand and building sandcastles.
“Amelia, I understand you were in love with him. I understand that the two of you found yourselves in a situation which spiraled out of control very fast. What I think you don’t understand is that I lost a man who I’d known from when he was a little boy. Second to that, he was a business partner. Will betrayed me, disrespected me in a way I never expected him to do. So, while you have forgiven him, I am not one to forgive and forget so easily.”
I place my hand on his arm. “Dad, life is too short. Don’t let what happened with me and Will stand in the way of your relationship with him.”
The phone inside Dad’s pocket rings. He answers the call though less than pleased as he presses his hand to his forehead.
“Daniel, is it true?”
Dad pinches the bridge of his nose, keeping quiet as the person on the other end speaks. I continue to stand here, unsure if I should leave him be.
“I’m back in the office on Monday afternoon. Lau can wait. We’ll talk about it then.”
Dad hangs up the phone but appears to be agitated.
“Is everything okay?”
“Yes, no. It’s nothing for you to worry about.”
“I promise you Dad, I am okay.”
“Be careful, Amelia. I know you think Will has only good intentions, but he has a lot of responsibility on his shoulders now. The last thing he needs is to be pulled into a different direction.”
“Wait a minute, a moment ago I thought I had to be careful not to get hurt? Are you saying that
I’m the problem now?”
“I’m saying that people in love do crazy things. Like leave Hong Kong early despite a very important business matter which needed attention. I did the same thing, almost ruined my business.”
“Will is not in love with me,” I say, lowering my gaze. “I mean, maybe he might still have some feelings, but that’s normal when you see an ex.”
“Amelia.” Dad places his hand on my shoulder, but his expression is anything but soft. “Promise me you’ll do the right thing.”
“I will, Dad.”
I wasn’t sure exactly what he meant, as far as I was concerned, I had been doing the right thing. Will is here as Rocky’s son, we have called somewhat of a truce. I’ve done nothing to compromise my relationship with Austin.
Shit, Austin.
I toy with the idea of sending him a text, but no matter how I try to say the words in my head, it all comes out wrong. If I tell Austin Will is here, he will wonder why I mentioned only that. Perhaps, if it was done through conversation with an appropriate segue, it would be less impactful.
As we walk back to the house, Dad takes another call and excuses himself. I take the opportunity to call Austin only for it to ring out to voicemail. It would have been customary to try again, but that would appear desperate.
I have nothing to worry about.
Repeat, nothing to worry about.
Until I walk past the gate and back into the pool area to see Will laying on the lounge chair and Gigi sitting beside him. The two of them are laughing, and the more I watch on, the more I realize my feelings for Will haven’t disappeared.
They are climbing to the surface demanding attention.
And jealousy is an ugly disease, its intent to cause only harm and no good. The toxicity is running through my veins, dragging my insecurities along with it. I begin to question my actions, reverting back to months ago when I said yes to marrying my best friend.
Then I’m riddled with guilt; my thoughts alone are unfair to Austin.
But as I glance one more time at the man who once consumed me whole, there is no denying that my heart misses him.
