by Holly Martin
And what was with the comment about there being nothing sexier than snuggling with his best friend under a blanket of animal furs? Sexier?
My eyes caught one of the comments at the bottom of the blog. I generally didn’t read the comments from our followers any more. When we’d first started I’d diligently replied to every single one, but now there were hundreds of them, all of them saying the same thing, ‘We love this,’ or ‘This is so cute,’ or from the men, ‘Just give her one already.’ But this comment leapt out at me.
‘I love these proposals, so romantic, and I’m loving the secret blog too. So exciting.’
I stared at it then grabbed my phone, composing a quick text to Harry.
‘Thank you for my proposal. I loved it so much. Are you spying on me?’
The reply came back almost straight away.
‘Of course. I have to make sure my proposals run smoothly. So no going off with strange men, my spies will tell me everything.’
I texted him back.
‘What’s the secret blog?’
This time the gap between the reply was longer, but eventually my phone pinged with a new message.
‘I have no idea, I saw that comment and was going to ask you the same thing. I thought you had started a blog too. Some of the comments are very weird. Did you see the one about the giraffe the other day? I don’t think some of our followers have all their marbles.’
My fingers hovered over the keys, not sure what to reply to that. I had the feeling there was something he wasn’t telling me. Before I had the chance to reply, another text came through from him.
‘Are you having fun on your own?’
I quickly replied. ‘Yes, it’s actually been a really good thing.’
His reply was almost instantaneous. ‘See, you don’t need me.’
What was that supposed to mean? Did he want me to need him? Did he want me not to need him so he wouldn’t feel guilty?
I wrote a text and sent it before I could change my mind. ‘I don’t need you Harry, but I want you here with me. I miss you, so much it actually hurts.’
There was no reply to that. I’d said too much and he didn’t know how to respond.
I had to send some message to clarify it. As my fingers hovered over the keys, there came a knock on the door. I put the phone down and ran to answer it.
It was the proposal I saw first – Harry’s grinning face emblazoned on a T-shirt with a speech bubble and the words ‘Marry Me’ coming out of his mouth. I laughed and then looked up to see who was wearing the T-shirt. I screamed and threw myself into his arms.
*
‘It’s a cracking view,’ said Badger, as he tucked into a sandwich we’d ordered from room service, watching the sky turn from a pale pink to scarlet as the sun set over the city.
‘I still can’t believe you’re here.’
‘I was coming out anyway, give Harry a hand with some of the proposals. I didn’t realise I’d be on my own whilst Harry’s in New York.’ He rolled his eyes. ‘I can only stay for a few days but then Harry will be with you soon.’
‘You didn’t have to come out here for me. I was doing fine on my own.’
‘I wanted to. Harry’s an arse for leaving you like this.’
‘I hurt him.’
Badger sighed heavily. ‘Do you know anything about his past?’
‘No. I wish people would stop asking me that question, unless of course you want to follow it up with, “Once upon a time…”’
‘It was no fairy tale Suze. And I can’t even tell you, it’s just not fair for me to do that. But I will tell you that his parents were rubbish. They didn’t physically abuse him but apart from that they were the worst parents in the history of all parents. They let him down spectacularly and he never really got over the pain of that. He vowed he would never trust anyone after that.’ Badger rubbed a hand over his eyes, wearily. ‘Just... sometimes he needs a bit of gentle handling.’
He turned back to look at the view and I guessed that was the end of the conversation. I stared at his back in confusion, then decided to change the subject. My head was starting to hurt with it all.
‘How’s Bella?’
He turned, his whole face lighting up, and I felt a flash of anger that he loved my niece so much and then a huge stab of guilt for thinking like that. I wanted to be happy for them, it just was going to take some time.
‘She’s beautiful – she’s into everything, exploring, touching, grabbing. I just love her…’
He trailed off.
‘It’s ok. It is weird for me. I think it will always be weird that another man is raising my niece, that she will never know her real dad. But I’m glad that man is you and that you love her as much as you love Jules.’
Badger rubbed his neck, awkwardly. ‘I am sorry, I never meant for it to happen…’
‘Don’t be. You’ve made Jules happy again and I can’t possibly hate you for that.’
There was an awkward silence that hung in the air between us.
‘Oh hell, Suzie, let’s go out and get drunk.’
I smiled. ‘I’ll grab my coat.’
*
I finally slotted the key into the hotel room door and fell into my room. The lights of the city glowed from the streets below me and I stared at that in childlike wonder for a moment. I heard Badger crash into something in his hotel room next door and giggled as I heard him swear. I don’t know what we had drunk tonight. It started off with wine, but then the pitchers of liquid that arrived at our table started getting increasingly brown. I knew we had drunk a lot of it, five or six jugs had come to our table throughout the night, but I hadn’t felt drunk at the time. It was only as we stepped out into the cold, winter air that the alcohol seemed to hit me. We were catching a plane to Toronto tomorrow but thankfully it was later in the afternoon.
I noticed my phone on the bed and grabbed at it, thinking I would try to take some photos of the startling views, but there was a text from Harry. I opened it and read his reply to the text I’d sent earlier.
‘I miss you too Suzie. It doesn’t seem right without you.’
I let out a giggle – everything seemed funny and wonderful tonight. I quickly found his number in my phone and called it. I noticed the clock on the wall said it was past two in the morning. For some reason, I found this even funnier.
When Harry answered, it was clear I’d just woken him up.
‘Yep?’ His voice was thick with sleep.
‘Hi, it’s me.’
‘Hey. Are you ok?’
‘I’m fine. Bloody brilliant in fact.’
I could sense the smile from him.
‘Are you drunk? I hope Badger hasn’t been getting you into trouble.’
‘I may be a teeny, tiny bit drunk.’ I held my finger and thumb together to show that it was only a tiny bit before I realised that Harry couldn’t see them. ‘What are you doing?’
‘I was sleeping.’
‘I love you Harry.’
Where the bloody hell did that come from? The words just fell out of my mouth without any warning. My drink-addled brain had let me down. A giggle that turned into a snort escaped my mouth too. I threw myself down on the bed and I laughed into my pillow.
‘That’s nice,’ Harry said, dryly. ‘But as lovely as your drunken proclamations are, I’m going back to sleep now.’
‘You’re angry with me.’
‘No. I’m not. It’s always nice to be told you’re loved. But I would have preferred to hear it when you hadn’t drunk six pitchers of Caribou.’
Caribou, that’s what we’d had. Some kind of special whisky and wine Quebec drink. It was delicious, my lips tasted of maple syrup.
‘It’s true though.’ My mouth was talking again. ‘I do love you.’
‘Get some sleep my love, if you still feel the same tomorrow, then give me a call.’
‘I will.’
‘Ok, I’ll look forward to it. Goodnight.’
He hung up and I tossed th
e phone onto a nearby chair, and with a huge grin on my face I drifted off to sleep.
Chapter Fourteen
‘No, no, no, no!’ I sat up in bed, my head reeling. I hadn’t phoned him, I couldn’t have done. The sun was streaming through the window, almost unbearably bright as it reflected off the snow. It hurt my eyes but I had more pressing matters. I grabbed my phone quickly and groaned when I saw the last call made had been at two-fifteen that morning. To Harry.
I felt sick. I’d told him I loved him and now there was no going back.
He’d never said it back to me either. Admittedly, I had been steaming drunk at the time, but still, it would have been nice of him to reciprocate.
I didn’t know whether to ring him and apologise or just ignore it completely. Sticking my head in the sand seemed like a much better option.
In fact, sleeping for the rest of the day seemed like a much better option – that Caribou was potent stuff.
There was a knock on the door and I staggered out of bed to answer it. I passed a mirror on my way to the door and was shocked to see my hair sticking out like a wild bush, and mascara smeared across my face. I prayed it wasn’t Harry.
When I opened the door, the young bell boy recoiled in shock before he readjusted his face into a much more professional expression.
‘Delivery from Mr Forbes.’
My heart leapt then sank. After last night’s declaration, it wasn’t likely to be good.
He brought the tray into the room, placed it on the table and left.
There was a thick envelope, a glass of orange juice and a black box, about the size of my hand.
I grabbed the envelope first. Inside there was a packet of painkillers and a note that simply said, ‘Take these, love Harry x.’
Well at least he wasn’t angry with me. I swallowed two down with the glass of orange juice and then turned my attention to the black box. Surely he hadn’t bought me an engagement ring.
I opened it up slowly, not sure what I’d find. Inside was an iced leaf, or what appeared to be one. I picked it up and, although it was cool to the touch, it was evidently not made from ice. It was crystal – little tiny rainbows of light sparkled inside it. I held it up to the window and that’s when I saw the proposal. Written in gold inside the ice leaf were the now familiar words, ‘Marry Me.’
There was a note propped inside the box. ‘This one won’t melt.’
I smiled. It was beautiful, and a fitting memento of my time in Quebec and the ice hotel. That was the thing about Harry’s proposals, whether they were on a grand scale with fireworks or tiny little thoughtful gestures like this, each one was perfect in every way.
I hugged it to my chest when there was another knock on the door. Harry? This time I desperately wanted it to be him, regardless of what I looked like. I ran to answer it to find a rather green looking Badger, looking at me through bleary eyes.
‘We’re late.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘We have to be at the airport in half an hour.’
It took me a few seconds for the words to register, still hugging my leaf with a silly grin on my face, and then I finally caught up to what he’d just said.
‘Crap.’
‘My thoughts exactly.’
*
Proposer’s Blog
Day 25: The Maid of the Mist Proposal. Location: Niagara Falls.
I know it’s touristy and clichéd but you can’t visit Toronto and not visit Niagara Falls – and you can’t visit Niagara Falls without going on the Maid of the Mist, the boat that goes to the very bottom of the falls.
Suzie was as giddy as a kid at Christmas about going on this boat, I just wanted to hug her, she was so excited and I love seeing her like that.
My friend Badger was accompanying us as well and he hates boats. He looked greener today than he did yesterday on the plane when he was recovering from one too many Caribous the night before.
Can I just state for the record now – the Canadians, the Americans, I love them so much. This proposal would not have been possible had it not been for their help, but they do love a good proposal.
The ride along the river and past American Falls and Bridal Veil Falls is a great one, past tall trees and jagged cliffs, but Horseshoe Falls is obviously the most dramatic – being surrounded by that huge wall of water. It was as we were nearing the very base of the falls that the proposal took place. The boat inched nearer and nearer and Suzie, hanging over the rail, was reaching out to touch the spray.
Then cheers broke out behind her and as she turned she saw an array of multi-coloured umbrellas, protecting the tourists from the spray. One by one, the tourists holding the umbrellas turned round revealing a letter on each umbrella. ‘Suzie Marry Me.’
I love surprising her, seeing her face light up is absolutely the best part of these proposals.
Until she says yes. Then I think that might just be the best part.
I stared at the words. What was he playing at? He wanted me to say yes? Then there were the comments underneath again. Three more mentions of this secret blog.
Olivia Bloom says: This is so cute, and I love being a part of the ‘secret blog’. Can’t wait to see what happens next.
Mia Hemsworth says: How can she not know how you feel for her? Even without reading the secret blog it’s pretty obvious.
T Hardy says: Duh! The secret blog is supposed to be a secret, hence the name. Idiots like you are kind of spoiling it. I suggest you delete your comments straight away.
To say I was confused would be an understatement.
Well if he could play games, then so could I.
I clicked on the add comment box and quickly added a comment of my own.
‘Yes.’
The screen stayed silent for a moment then suddenly there was a flurry of interest.
My phone suddenly burst into life next to me. I answered it, knowing it would be Harry. ‘What do you mean, “yes”?’
‘What do you mean by me saying yes would be the best part of these proposals?’
‘You never give me an answer.’
I was thrown by this.
‘What kind of answer do you want, would you like me to throw my arms around your neck and scream yes from the top of my lungs?’
He cleared his throat and he took a long time to answer.
‘Well, we’re trying to find the perfect proposal for you and I don’t know if I’m anywhere near. The tiny little heartfelt gestures, the huge spectacular ones, I have no clue what it is you’re looking for.’
I stood up, suddenly angry. He was torturing me with daily, empty, meaningless proposals and he wanted me to be happy about it.
‘Ok, ok, you want the truth, there’s something missing from your proposals.’
‘Like what?’ He was angry now too. ‘Flowers, champagne, chocolates, a fifty carat diamond engagement ring, what’s missing?’
‘You tell me about this secret blog and I’ll tell you what’s missing.’
‘I don’t know what this secret blog is either, it must be something else that Silver Linings are doing on their website and people are getting it confused with ours or thinking they are some way connected.’ He was lying again, I knew him well enough to know that.
‘Why do I feel like I’m the butt of some horrible practical joke?’
‘Oh no Suze, this isn’t what that’s about.’ All anger had vanished. ‘No one is laughing at you, I promise.’
I pushed my hair from my face and stared out at the CN tower. Badger was taking me to an ice hockey game tonight. I was really looking forward to it. Now all I could think of was how many people there would be laughing at me behind my back. Being apart from Harry was driving me mad.
‘Why are you not here? I’ve apologised, you’ve apologised. I doubt you’ve actually gone for that interview, but you’re still not here. It’s been five days.’ I hated how whiny I was.
‘I wanted to but Chloe said…’ He trailed off, suddenly aware he’d said too m
uch.
‘Do you love her?’ I closed my eyes against the pain of the expected answer.
‘No. I just…’
I sighed with sudden clarity. ‘It’s ok. I get it. You want to spend time with her. You’ve missed her. I can’t have been much fun to be around lately. Take your time, catch up. Maybe I’ll see you in a few weeks.’
He started to protest but I hung up. The phone rang immediately but just then Badger knocked on my door. I ignored the ringing and went to answer it.
‘You ready?’ I grinned that he was wearing a hockey jersey and baseball cap. He passed me one for my head. I shoved it on and grabbed my bag as my phone rang incessantly on my bed.
‘Aren’t you going to get that?’ he asked.
‘Nope.’ I closed the door behind me and ignored the pointed stare from Badger as we walked down the corridor. I didn’t say anything until the ringing faded completely.
‘So who’s playing tonight?’ I asked.
Badger clearly sensed I wanted to change the subject and rose to the challenge magnanimously. ‘Toronto Otters versus the Dallas Demons.’
I smiled gratefully. ‘The cute, cuddly Otters versus the mean, savage Demons, sounds like the battle will be over very quickly.’
‘I think it will, the Demons’ captain, Harrison Flynn, is just amazing…’
I listened to Badger rattle on about the amazing skills of Harrison and steadfastly ignored the huge pain in my heart.
*
I lay on my bunk as the motion of the train lulled me to sleep. Badger had put me on the train to Jasper first thing this morning and I knew he was now flying home back to Jules and Bella.
I hoped I would get a reprieve here from Harry and the proposals. It was nearly three days until I reached Jasper and I had no mobile signal at all. He would be hard pushed to arrange anything on a moving train and I found myself happy about that. I didn’t want to be a part of these games that Harry was clearly playing with me. He was obviously up to something and I didn’t like it.
The train had left the busy city of Toronto behind, and slowly the landscape had turned greener, more mountainous again. I had sat in the lounge cart all day, staring out at the mountains. It was breath-taking.
