by Holly Martin
Then it had turned dark and I returned to my cabin.
I sighed happily as I put the book I was reading down. I felt contented here. No one knew who I was, or gave me those sympathetic looks. I didn’t need Harry, I was quite capable of enjoying life without him.
I closed my eyes and forced a smile onto my face as I drifted off to sleep. If I said it often enough, I might start to believe it was true.
*
A loud knocking snatched me from my dreams and for a moment or two I had no idea where I was. It was completely dark. Then I felt the familiar gentle rocking, the soft noise of the train wheels as it sped along the track.
The knocking came again, louder this time, and I realised it was someone at my door.
I got up and opened it. I was greeted with a huge man towering over me and in my half asleep state I thought it was Harry for a second, until I saw the black bushy beard. He was one of the porters – as I peered through bleary eyes, I could see his uniform.
‘Miss,’ the man said, his voice was rough like sandpaper with a soft American lilt. ‘You need to come with me.’
‘Is there a problem?’
‘No problem, you need to come with me now.’
I blinked at him, it was the middle of the night. I sighed wearily as comprehension dawned. ‘Did Harry send you?’
The man smiled slightly. ‘He does this sort of thing a lot eh? Wake you up in the middle of the night? I think the man sounds crazy in love if you ask me.’
I put my camera into the pocket of my hoodie top and shoved my feet into my shoes as the man held the door open for me. ‘I doubt that. He’s in New York, I’m here on my own.’
He studied me for a moment then gestured for me to follow him. ‘I’m Connor by the way.’
‘Suzie, though I guess you already knew that.’
I followed Connor along empty corridors – there was not a soul in sight, everyone tucked up in their cabins for the night. We walked through the lounge areas and the dining carriage, until we reached the door leading out onto the observation deck at the very back of the train. He pushed it open and an icy blast of air engulfed me.
‘We’re going outside? It’s freezing out there. Let me go and get my coat.’
‘It’s ok Miss, we’ve got that covered. Here.’ He passed me a huge sleeping bag.
I stared at it. ‘As much as I love Harry, I’m not sleeping out here for him, or for anyone for that matter, not when I have a lovely warm bed waiting for me about a hundred yards that way.’
He laughed and for a moment I was reminded painfully of Harry – it wasn’t just Connor’s size that was familiar, there was something else that reminded me of Harry too.
‘It’s just to keep you warm.’
I sat down on the seat just inside the door and climbed into it – with a bit of wiggling around, I managed to zip myself up in it too, making me look like an oversized maggot.
Connor opened the outside door again and although the cold air rushed through to greet me, I was ready to face it now.
With some difficulty, I half hopped, half jumped outside onto the empty observation deck with Connor stifling his laughter behind me.
‘Harry didn’t really think this through did he?’ I said, shuffling carefully forwards.
‘Oh I don’t know, it’s certainly got comedy value.’
Connor pulled the hood up over my head and tightened the cord so it stayed in place then he draped a thick blanket around my shoulders.
I looked up at him as he secured the blanket, even in the darkness I could see his eyes were kind. I had an overwhelming urge to lean into him, my head against his chest, and I had no idea where that urge came from.
‘Thank you.’
He smiled, slightly.
‘I need to leave you now. I’ll be back to collect you shortly.’
It was only as he stepped back that I saw the incredible view. Mountains stretched as far as the eye could see in every direction. The moon was full, lighting up the landscape like a searchlight, bathing the snow covered hills and fields in a silvery blanket.
‘Oh my God, it’s beautiful,’ I whispered. Why had I gone to sleep when I could have stayed out here for hours just enjoying that view?
I shuffled closer to the rail, desperate to see it all.
‘Miss, would you mind not getting so close to the rail, there’s a seat here. I’m sure Mr Forbes would prefer you to sit here rather than lean out over the rail and fall to your death.’
I smiled and shuffled into the seat as directed, then Connor left.
I watched the mountains sail past, and the train quietly rattling its way through the tranquil, majestic beauty. I didn’t want to blink in case I missed anything, it was the most incredible thing I had ever seen and somehow being the only person out here to witness it made it all the more special.
Something gold and orange caught my eye, and I realised as it floated past that it was a Chinese lantern, its tiny candle flame glowing bright in the darkness. Another one joined it, floating gently past and up into the cold night sky. I stood up. It looked magical. Another floated past, but this one had a large black M printed on the side. I could see where this was going and it was confirmed when the next one to float past had an A printed on the side. I smiled, the golden glow set against the inky snowy landscape was beautiful.
I had to get some pictures for the blog. I fumbled round in my pocket and grabbed my camera, but I didn’t have enough room to bring my arms up to the top of the sleeping bag. I bent double as another golden lantern floated above me, no doubt the first R. I brought my head to my knees to try to be able to drop the camera out of the hole at the top, thinking I would catch it with my face but as I let go, it hit me in the chin, bounced off and hit the floor. I bent over to get it, with some serious wiggling around, I forced the arm out of the hole at the top, making me look like a unicorn with my arm now protruding out of my face. I leaned down to get it just as the train swung round a corner, making me wobble and land flat on my face.
Damn it, this beautiful proposal was going on right above my head and I was missing it. I wriggled around trying to get some leverage to get up, but with one arm by my face and the other welded to my side, I could hardly move at all. I was just squirming around on the floor, rubbing my nose against the rough wood.
I wiggled and twisted, shifting my hand in front of me and somehow managed to roll over onto my back, with my arm now over my face. This was ridiculous. Connor had done the sleeping bag up so tightly that I could barely move my arm at all. Finally I managed to move it to one side just as a lantern floated over me bearing the letter U on the side.
I looked at it in confusion. ‘Marry Me’ didn’t have a U in it. Unless it was ‘Marry Me Suzie’, in which case the Z, I, and E would be along shortly. But as I lay there waiting, not wanting to miss anything else, there seemed to be no more lanterns coming. So if the U wasn’t part of Suzie, what was it part of?
I heard footsteps approaching and I prayed it was Connor and not someone else who would find this hilarious.
The door swung open and there was silence for a second as I strained my eyes to see over the sleeping bag.
I wriggled around, desperate to be able to sit up, but to no avail. I heard the footsteps come closer and Connor peered over the sleeping bag to look at me. It was clear he was trying to stifle a smile.
‘Suzie, are you ok?’
I nodded. ‘Except, I fell over and couldn’t get back up and I missed half of the proposal, well probably more than half. I saw the M, A and what I assumed was the R, but after that I didn’t see anything.’
His face visibly fell.
‘You missed the proposal?’
‘Well I saw the first part, it was beautiful. Were you helping? I saw the U at the end, but I don’t know what word the U was from.’
‘It doesn’t matter,’ his voice was gruff again, almost angry this time. ‘Can I help you up?’
I nodded.
He bent down and
undid the cord from the top of the sleeping bag, freeing my hand and part of my shoulders.
I twisted about until both my arms were free and then he pulled me to my feet with ease.
I looked out to see the lanterns, there was a lot more than I expected disappearing into the night sky. A quick count revealed seventeen lanterns bobbing like golden stars into the darkness. Seventeen? With the first two blank ones and Marry Me that was nine. What did the other eight say, ending in U?
‘What did they say?’
Connor shrugged as he held the door open for me. ‘Marry Me.’
‘And?’
He shrugged again, obviously annoyed that I had missed it.
An eight letter word ending in U? Or two words?
With one last longing look at the view, I followed, well actually half shuffled inside.
Connor didn’t hang around, as soon as I was inside he strode off, whilst I was still struggling to extract myself from the sleeping bag. By the time I was free from my confines, he was gone.
SECRET BLOG
I cannot tell you how gutted I am. I’ve been planning the latest proposal for days. Because this was the proposal where I was going to declare my love for Suzie as well. I’ve been trying to pluck up the courage to tell her ever since she left me in New York. I’ve followed her at a distance, desperate to just close the gap between us, hold her in my arms and tell her I love her. But I couldn’t do it. What if she doesn’t feel the same? What if she rejects me? I don’t think I could take that pain all over again. So I came up with a genius plan. I would do it in my proposal and that way I wouldn’t have to see her face when she saw the words. Thanks to Chloe, I was in disguise again, this time like a porter called Connor with a suspicious similarity to Hagrid from Harry Potter. I stood at the front of the train and released Chinese lanterns, each with a letter on the side. I spelt out first the words ‘Marry Me’, then ‘I Love You’.
After the proposal, I hurried to the back of the train where Suzie was to gauge her reaction. But she’d missed it. She’d fallen over and missed the whole thing.
Part of me now thinks that she didn’t miss it, but is only pretending that she did so she won’t have to turn me down.
I need to talk to her because it’s eating me up inside, but Chloe still won’t let me go back to her. I think she’s worried that I’ll get hurt.
I kind of thought I’d be wrapped in her arms round about now. Instead I’ll have to stay in my cabin for the next three days in case she sees me.
COMMENTS
Laura Lovelock says: Tell her, walk straight into her cabin now and tell her. Ignore Chloe.
Megan Wood says: I love that you told Suzie you love her with Chinese lanterns, that’s so sweet, so romantic. Just kiss her and see if she kisses you back, I bet she does.
Victoria Stone says: This is driving me mad, grow some balls and tell her already.
Erin McEwan says: If she really is your best friend then even if she doesn’t feel the same she’ll still be your friend.
Kirsty MacLennan says: I agree with Megan, snog her face off, you’ll get a definitive reaction then.
*
Jasper was tiny and everybody seemed to be wearing shorts and flip flops, despite the icy weather and the fact that there was snow still on the ground.
I had arrived here the night before and finally spoke to Harry after three days of phone silence. The proposals had arrived daily – after the Chinese lanterns, I’d had a barber shop quartet sing to me in front of a train full of passengers and rose petals spelling out the words on my bed, which was a bit creepy thinking of someone being in my room doing that. But despite the proposals and the effort in arranging them, they were missing one thing. Harry. I missed him like crazy and my heart just wasn’t in this proposal malarkey any more. Maybe it was the fact that the proposals were empty, made even more so by the fact that he was in New York while I was alone. He didn’t even want to be with me anymore.
I had today to explore Jasper and tomorrow I was heading towards Lake Louise via the Athabasca Glacier.
I’d decided to rent a car from the car rental place opposite the hotel because I had heard about this fantastic waterfall in nearby Maligne Canyon. I’d asked for something little and cheap as I was paying for it. I didn’t know if renting a car to satisfy my own whims would be covered by Silver Linings and Sunlounger. After checking the map several times, I set off.
I had never driven in a foreign country before, so I was a little nervous about driving on the other side of the road, but five minutes after leaving the little town the roads were deserted. The roads wound higher and higher as they went up into the mountains, so much so that at one stage I felt my ears pop. Fresh snow had fallen and lay quite deep in places, though they seemed to be a lot more prepared for it in Canada. In England a little snow fall quite often caused the whole country to grind to a halt. New little flurries of snow had started to fall now, but nothing that would cause me any problems.
I could see the town I had left behind far below me and other towns in clusters spread out across the snowy landscape. The road ahead of me remained completely empty, though behind me I caught the odd glimpse of a big red SUV following at some distance. It was oddly comforting to have it there as I headed off into the barren wilderness.
As I straightened out onto a long stretch of road, I noticed the complete lack of barriers that would prevent me from falling to my death and this caused me to drive even slower. It wasn’t a sheer drop but the hillside was very steep. But slowly, as I drove along the road without any incident, I started to become more confident.
The beauty of Canada is just something I don’t think I will ever tire of looking at; the rugged, jagged cliff faces, jutting out mere metres from where I sat and the lakes and mountains that could be seen for miles in every direction.
Life was good. I turned the radio up and sung along to some dodgy country song.
The air was colder up here, I could feel the chill and I fumbled around to find the heating controls and whacked up the heat.
As I returned my attention to the road, something ran out in front of me, some kind of deer. Without thinking I braked and swerved to avoid it.
To my horror the car bumped over the side of the road, tilted and launched itself down the steep cliff.
Chapter Fifteen
I steered, pumped the breaks and screamed as the car toppled over the edge. But at the last second before gravity took hold and tossed me to a painful death, it stopped and then hung, one wheel on the verge, teetering on the brink.
I’d forgotten how to breathe. I couldn’t move, one inch to either side could be fatal. The car rocked gently, trying to decide between my salvation and my death. I had to get out, waiting for help was not an option. I undid my seatbelt and carefully released it but even that tiny movement caused the car to groan and lean forwards even more. My stomach rolled with fear and panic and I blinked away tears.
Suddenly my driver door was flung open, there was someone there – a man – but I was too scared to move to look.
The car was already rocking with this new movement and I wanted to scream out to him to be careful, to move slowly, but all words were stuck in my throat.
The man was not cautious though. There was nothing gentle or slow about his movements. He reached into the car and in one swift, violent gesture yanked me out into his arms. I flung my arms around my rescuer, he staggered back and as we hit the floor I realised with sickening clarity that it was Harry.
‘Harry?’
‘Hi.’
‘Harry, oh God.’
Sobs tore from my throat. Relief, adrenaline, joy and terror surged through me and I wrapped my hands round his neck and kissed him. I didn’t understand why he was here, but right then I didn’t need to. I felt tears soak my cheeks as he pulled me tight against him, kissing me back. His hands were around my face, in my hair. The kiss became more urgent, needful and a noise escaped from his throat that sounded like a moan. But I couldn
’t stop.
‘Are you guys ok?’ came a voice from above and I snatched my mouth from Harry’s in shock.
Two policemen were standing on the road, they had obviously stopped after they had seen my car teetering on the edge.
I looked back at Harry. I couldn’t believe I had just been kissing him.
‘I’m so sorry… I just…’ I was still crying and shaking. He held my face gently, kissed my forehead, wiped the tears from my eyes and kissed me on the mouth – a short, sweet kiss. Not a proper kiss, not how I had been kissing him before, with my tongue in his mouth. God, had my tongue really been in his mouth? How embarrassing.
‘Are you ok?’
I nodded
‘Are you hurt?’
I shook my head.
He arched an eyebrow at me. ‘Can you speak?’
‘Not right now.’
He smiled slightly.
I wanted to get off him, it seemed inappropriate to be lying on top of him after what I had just subjected him to, but my fingers were wrapped tightly in his shirt, and I couldn’t work out how to loosen them. Although he didn’t seem that bothered by it.
‘We’ll be right up,’ Harry called to the officers, then he returned his gentle gaze to me. ‘As reluctant as I am to move from this position, I think we need to get up now.’
I couldn’t stop shaking and I was starting to feel numb all over. I couldn’t actually move and he seemed to realise that. Harry sat up, shifting me carefully onto his lap and then stood up, with me still in his arms so he was carrying me like a baby.
‘One moment,’ he said to the men as he approached them.
I heard them talking as we walked past. ‘I’ve helped a lot of women in my time – I’ve never been kissed like that before,’ said one.
‘Me neither.’
