“Thanks.” She glanced at the card. “That’s not going to be cheap.”
“He has money.”
“Not a cop?”
“No, he’s a former drug kingpin who turned his life around.” Lucas waved away any questions. “Don’t ask. He’s someone I know, but not a friend. But when he mentioned what he needed, I thought of you. If the idea of working with him makes you uncomfortable, don’t call him. I didn’t give him your name.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Think about it. I have to get to work.” He hesitated. “You okay?”
“No, but I will be.”
“You know how to reach me if you need anything.”
“Like another hug?” she asked, hoping she sounded teasing rather than pathetic.
“Whatever. Just text me.”
She nodded and he left. Seconds later Dean appeared and snatched the card from her hand.
“We so have to work for this guy. I wonder if we’ll meet him. Wouldn’t that be interesting?”
“He used to be a drug dealer, so no.”
Dean raised his eyebrows. “Not a lowly drug dealer, he was a drug kingpin.”
“How is that different?”
“He was in management.”
Despite everything, Harper started to laugh. “There’s something seriously wrong with you.”
“Lance says that all the time but the truth is I have an adventurous spirit and he doesn’t. Speaking of adventures, you told me this job was going to be boring. You were so wrong.”
She groaned. “You heard?”
“Oh, honey, the neighbors heard.” His expression turned concerned. “Are you all right?”
“Like I said before, no, but I will be.”
“You need a date for your ex’s wedding. Showing up by yourself will make you feel awful. I’d offer to go, but Lance is traveling the rest of the month so if I’m not here, I’m with the twins.” He glanced toward the front door. “What about Lucas? He’s very handsome and I’m sure he knows how to behave. You could ask him to bring his gun and shoot the groom.” He winked. “Or the bride. Your choice.”
“No one is getting shot and he would never go with me.” She laughed at the thought. “Lucas’s idea of a good time is a woman between the ages of twenty and twenty-two. It would be like hanging out with his mother.”
“I’m not talking about a date. You need an escort.” His eyes widened. “Oh, I have friends who are professional escorts and part-time models. Want me to call one of them?”
“No.” She poked him in the chest. “I mean that, Dean. No escorts. No boyfriends, no guns. I will go with Becca, assuming she still wants me to, and I will be fine.”
“If you say so, but I still think you should ask Lucas.” He tapped the index card against his palm. “I really want this new client. Say no if you disagree.”
“Go for it,” she told him. “Let’s add a former drug kingpin to the stable.”
* * *
Stacey continued to experience the fallout of her Bunny encounter for several days. The vague sense of impending disaster never fully went away—not that anything bad was going to happen. She knew that. It was just fighting with her mother had never ended well, at least not for her. Bunny seemed blessed with an ability to skate through life without an emotional scratch.
While Kit told her about his day, she found herself barely able to listen. She didn’t want to eat or do much of anything. The most appealing thought for the evening was to simply curl up in her bed and wait for the icky feelings to go away.
A ridiculous idea, she told herself. There were several ways to change a mood, and many of them were safe during her pregnancy. Exercise, for example. Or she and Kit could watch a funny movie. Many studies showed that—
“There’s something wrong with Bay,” Kit said as he tossed down his napkin and stood. He circled the table to crouch by the dog, who was standing by the back door.
“What do you mean?”
“She’s been pacing for a couple of hours. I’ve let her out, but she doesn’t want to leave the house. She didn’t eat her dinner.” He stroked her head. “What’s going on, little girl?”
The dog looked at him and whined, then started walking around the living room. Stacey watched and saw that he was right. She did seem agitated, almost uncomfortable.
“She’s in labor.” Stacey sprang to her feet, prepared to go into birthing mode. Not that there was anything for her to do. “We should take her temperature. If it’s dropped, then she’ll go into labor in the next twenty-four hours.” She studied the pacing dog. “Maybe it’s too late for that.”
They’d already set up a comfortable canine maternity ward in Kit’s office. He’d sectioned off about a quarter of the room, putting up a low wall that Bay could easily step over while the puppies would be contained. There was a large, thick, mattress-style dog bed with a plastic cover. Old sheets were on top of that. Clean newsprint covered the floor.
“Bay, do you want to go get settled?” she asked, patting her leg and leading the way to the office.
Bay followed. She’d seen the birthing area before, had sniffed it all, but hadn’t wanted to stretch out on the bed. Now she stepped inside, then went back out and back in again. She sniffed it all before lying down on the mattress and locking her gaze with Stacey’s.
The message was clear. Don’t leave me.
“I’ll be right here,” Stacey promised. “I’m going to stay for as long as it takes.”
Kit brought in lots of pillows along with a low beach backrest, so Stacey could get comfortable. They put on classical music and offered Bay water, which she refused. She got up and tore a few of the papers into shreds, then went back to the bed.
“I’m scared,” Stacey admitted, squeezing Kit’s hand. “What if something goes wrong?”
“What if something doesn’t?” he asked. “She’s done this before. The vet says she’ll know what to do and we have the information for the emergency vet clinic programmed into our phones. If it gets bad, we’ll throw her in the car and take her with us.”
Ashton got home about eight and joined them. Bay wagged her stubby little tail when she saw him, then closed her eyes as her breathing changed.
“Females go through a lot,” he said, shaking his head. “I sure wouldn’t do that.”
Stacey thought about the baby she was carrying. She wasn’t overly concerned about giving birth. She understood the process and had already discussed pain management with her doctor. It was what came after that had her terrified. How was she supposed to know what to do? She was less than two months from her due date and she still didn’t feel a connection or any sense of bonding.
By nine o’clock, the first of the puppies had been born. Bay licked the puppy clean, then allowed Kit to tie off the umbilical cord with a bit of dental floss. Two more puppies were born right after each other. Within the hour, they were all nursing and Bay had fallen asleep. Kit and Ashton cleaned up the dirty newspaper and laid down fresh.
The vet had said to wait a few hours before offering her food, then only small, frequent meals until she was ready for more. Kit and Ashton worked out a schedule that excluded her, despite Stacey’s willingness to get up and feed Bay.
“You need to rest,” her husband told her. “We’ll handle this.”
But after everyone had gone to bed, Stacey returned to sit with Bay. The Doberman opened her eyes and wagged her tail, but otherwise didn’t move. The three tiny puppies were curled up against her, asleep.
“You were great,” she told the new mother. “You handled it all perfectly. You were brave and so smart. You knew exactly what to do.”
Stacey pressed her hand to her belly and willed herself to feel something. Anticipation, hope, anything but the ongoing sense of terror and disconnection.
“I don’t think I ca
n do it,” she whispered to the dog. “I don’t know how to be a mother. I’ve never wanted to learn. I’m not that interested in people and I’ve never enjoyed being around children. I don’t understand them. Babies are even more confusing. That level of dependency doesn’t make me comfortable.”
She thought about all that had happened. Her fight with her mother, how Harper and Kit had tricked her into going shopping because they couldn’t just ask her without her refusing.
“I’m not going to be a good mother,” she told Bay. “I don’t have it in me. My mom always said there was something wrong with me and now I know she was right.” Her eyes burned with tears. “What if I can’t love my baby? Worse, what if she knows? I’m not like you, Bay. I don’t have instincts. I just have my brain and every now and then I have to admit it does me absolutely no good. This is one of those times. I can’t think myself into loving my baby. I’m going to mess her up and I don’t know how to make it better. Kit is going to be disappointed in me and I don’t think I can survive that.”
She curled up on the floor and cried until there were no tears left. She got cold and her back hurt, but she stayed where she was until she heard Kit walk into his office. He settled next to her, then gently drew her into a sitting position and wrapped his arms around her.
“What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know how to be a good mother. I’m afraid Joule is going to hate me.” She was mostly afraid she would lose him to their daughter, but there was no way to tell him that.
He put his hand under her chin, forcing her to look at him. “Has it occurred to you that of all the women I could have married, I chose you, Stacey? You’re the one I want to spend my life with. You’re the one I want to have our daughter with. I want this to happen with you. Just you.”
She nodded and leaned close so he could kiss her. That would make him think she understood and that everything was fine. Even though it wasn’t at all.
Chapter Nineteen
HARPER DROVE UP her street, slowing as she saw a moving truck backed into her driveway. All her senses went on alert. Was this one of those scams she’d seen on the news? Was she being robbed?
She hit the gas and skidded to a stop in front of her house, only to see her mother directing the three men loading the truck. What on earth?
“Mom? What’s going on?”
Harper hurried around the side of the house in time to see her mother’s dresser being carried down the stairs.
Bunny sniffed and folded her arms across her chest. “Isn’t it obvious? I’m leaving.”
“I don’t understand.”
“What isn’t clear? I refuse to stay where I’m not wanted. An apartment opened up at the old folks’ home, so I’m going to live there and wait to die. With my heart broken, it shouldn’t take long.”
“You’re leaving because Stacey didn’t tell you about the baby?”
“That’s really the least of it,” her mother told her. “What about you not telling me?”
“It wasn’t my secret to tell.” Harper did her best to say calm.
“I’m your mother! You always take her side and now you’re doing it again. Well, fine. It can just be the two of you, the way you’ve always wanted it. I won’t be in the way anymore.”
“Mom, please don’t ask me to pick sides. I know you’re upset and I totally get why.” She offered what she hoped was a sympathetic smile. “You’re hurt and you feel cut off from what was happening.”
“Don’t try to placate me. Cut off doesn’t begin to describe what I’m feeling. You think you know everything, but you’re wrong. All you care about is your business, as if making money is the most important thing in the world. Well, it’s not! Family matters more, but you can’t seem to remember that. You and your sister. You’re exactly alike. Selfish and thoughtless, and I’m too old to have to deal with you right now.”
With that, she turned and went back up the stairs, into her apartment. Harper walked into her house and texted her sister. Stacey called right away.
“I’m sorry,” her sister said over the phone. “This is my fault.”
“It’s not. She’s being dramatic. I just feel bad.”
“Me, too, and you have to deal with it.”
Harper watched the movers load more furniture. “Not for long. At the rate they’re hustling, they’ll be done within the hour.”
“Want me to come over?”
“No. I’ll handle it. I just wanted you to know.”
When they’d hung up, Harper tried to figure out what she felt. Concern, sadness, irritation and more than a little fear at the loss of the thousand dollars a month her mother had been paying her for the apartment.
Her mother walked into the house a couple of hours later. “I wrote down my new address. I doubt you or your sister care, but my granddaughter might want to come see me.”
“Mom—” Harper started, only to have Bunny hold up her hand.
“No. We’ve said all there is to say. I’m leaving. I put you down as my emergency contact. I’m sure one of the staff will call you when I die.”
Harper took the card and stared at it. The upscale retirement community was less than three miles from the house. “Mom, I honestly don’t know what to say to you. I’m sorry you’re mad at me. I’m sorry I disappoint you every single day and I hope you’ll be happy in your new apartment.”
Her mother glared at her before handing over the apartment keys. “How dare you.” Then she walked to her car and drove away.
Harper set the card on the counter. She had no idea what to do or say or think about any of it. She threw herself on the sofa. Thor and Jazz jumped up and sat on either side of her. She put her arms around both of them and tried to figure out exactly when her life had gone to shit.
She didn’t know how long she sat there. Dean was working from home and Becca was still at school. She was well and truly by herself. The dogs were oddly comforting. Maybe she should close her eyes and take a nap or something. But before she could decide, there was a knock at the front door, followed by a familiar voice calling, “Harper?”
Thor jumped off the sofa and raced down the hall.
“In the family room.” She waited until Lucas and Thor walked in to say, “It’s the middle of the day. What are you doing here?”
“I was in court and we just wrapped up early. Bunny texted to tell me there was a crisis. What’s wrong?”
“My mother has your number?”
“I gave it to her in case there was an emergency.”
“My mother?”
“What’s going on?”
Talk about the question of the hour, she thought, deciding she probably shouldn’t start laughing. If she did, she might never stop and that would freak him out. Was it too early to drink? Lucas had brought over a bunch of wine the other day. If she started now, she could probably get through at least two bottles by dinnertime. No doubt it would make her sick, but that might not be such a bad thing. Throwing up would be a distraction.
He sat in one of the club chairs and rested his ankle on his opposite knee. Thor lay down next to him.
“I have all day,” Lucas told her.
“You haven’t put your gun away.”
“I might need it.”
That made her smile. “I think the only person worthy of being shot is me, so I’d prefer you didn’t.”
He didn’t respond. Instead he watched her as if trying to illustrate his “I have all day” point.
“Fine,” she grumbled. “My mother has moved out. She’s gone to the old folks’ home, as she calls it, where she plans to wait to die. I feel guilty for hurting her and I’m worried about making up the income the apartment brought in, which makes me a bad person.” She sighed. “There’s my ex’s wedding, my daughter.” She paused. “Dean’s working out, so that’s good.”
She had more t
o say, but suddenly couldn’t speak as the bitch that was reality slapped her. “I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but I think I miss my mom.”
Lucas shook his head. “There’s no reason to and your problems are all easily fixed.”
Seriously? “Enlighten me.”
“Was that sarcasm I heard in your voice?”
“Yes. How is any of this easily fixed?”
“How much did your mom pay in rent?”
“A thousand dollars.”
He swore. “Harper, the apartment has a perfect ocean view.”
“I know. We always joked about the fact that there’s no view from the house but the garage apartment has...” She felt her mouth drop open. “It has an ocean view. And a private entrance and parking. Oh my God! I could get double what she paid.”
“Or triple.”
Triple? Three thousand dollars a month? That would cover her mortgage, utilities and insurance.
“I’m not that lucky,” she said, “but it’s nice to dream.”
“I’ll check out anyone you’re considering renting to.” He lowered his foot to the floor. “Next, your mother.” One shoulder rose up and down. “Give her some time. She needs to get over what happened with Stacey. If it helps with the guilt, I’ll bet she was feeling a little lonely. Maybe a change of scene will give her the chance to meddle in other people’s lives.”
“I wish it were that easy. I still feel guilty.”
“That I can’t help with. Now, Becca.”
“You’re not going to be able to pretend to fix that one, at all. I have to think about what she said. I have been busy with work but I never thought...” She cleared her throat. “I’ll figure that one out.”
For a second she thought he was going to say something, but he only nodded.
“The wedding.”
She grinned. “Please don’t tell me you know someone who could take out the bride. I might not be happy about the way Terence has acted, but I don’t want to do her harm.”
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