Sisters Like Us

by Susan Mallery

“So true.”

  They smiled at each other.

  “I can’t explain it,” Harper admitted. “I’m a virtual assistant. Lucas hired me last year after he’d been shot in the line of duty. While he was in the hospital and living here, a lot of his bills went unpaid. He didn’t want that to happen again, so he has me manage that part of his life. We’ve been friends for a while and now we’re seeing each other.”

  “So you knew about the girls he dates from the start?”

  “He would bring them around, which makes him and me totally unexpected.”

  “I’m glad he found someone normal,” Jen told her. “He’s a good guy.”

  “He speaks highly of you, as well.” Harper let the words just hang there.

  Jen’s eyes widened. “Oh, I just got that. No. He and I are friends. Good friends. He was brutally honest with me at a time when I needed to hear the truth, but that’s all. Kirk is the love of my life and I’m lucky to have him.”

  Tension Harper hadn’t acknowledged eased. “It’s good to have friends.”

  “It is. I hope you and Lucas make it work.”

  Harper nodded, but otherwise didn’t respond. Her and Lucas? She had her doubts about it lasting. Yes, he was great and she really liked being with him. While the sex was fantastic, she enjoyed his company even more. He was funny, smart, kind and an all-around great guy. She couldn’t imagine...

  No. No! Absolutely not. She would not, could not, fall for him. She was some pit stop as he made his way through a romantically uncommitted life. All his relationships came with a rapidly dwindling shelf life. She was many things but stupid wasn’t one of them. Lucas was not someone who stuck around. He never had. She would enjoy what they had while it lasted, and then happily move on. No matter what.

  * * *

  Becca finished her lunch, then pulled out her geometry book. If she did her final review now, she wouldn’t have to take her book home and do it later.

  She worked through the first final practice problems fast enough, then stumbled over number nine. There was always one, she thought with a smile.

  “What’s so funny?”

  She looked up and saw Jordan standing by her table.

  Becca had taken to sitting outside on the rear patio. None of the cool kids wanted to be there—it was quiet and sort of hidden. When you were popular, it was important to be seen. In the last few weeks, as Becca had found herself more and more ostracized from her friends, she’d taken refuge in the solitude. At least out here she didn’t have to worry about anyone noticing that she was alone. After a while, she’d discovered there were advantages to having an extra half hour to do her homework.

  “Nothing much.” Becca closed her book and slid her homework into her folder.

  Jordan surprised her by sitting down. “I never see you anymore. What have you been doing?”

  Becca didn’t know how to answer that. The reason she and Jordan didn’t hang out was because Jordan’s boyfriend was a jerk and Jordan was a bad friend. Probably not what she should say, Becca told herself. She searched for a more politically correct truth and decided on, “I’m spending a lot of time with Jazz. We’re going to classes so she can be certified as a therapy dog.”

  Jordan’s expression was blank.

  “Jazz is the dog Great-Aunt Cheryl left me.”

  “Uh-huh. So she’ll come to school with you and stuff?”

  Becca did her best not to roll her eyes. “She’ll be a therapy dog, not an emotional support animal. I’m going to take her to the memory unit at a retirement community where she can hang out with the residents there. She had to complete a bunch of training, which is part of what I’ll be doing this summer. I’ve already talked to my counselor about making that my senior project.”

  Jordan groaned. “That sounds great. I have no idea what I’m going to do. You know they love it when we volunteer. Ugh. I don’t want to hang out with a bunch of homeless people or sick kids or anything.” She winced. “That sounded meaner than I meant.”

  “It’s okay. I got scared when I first went to the memory unit, but the lady who runs the service animal program says I’ll get used to it. Jazz needs to be busy and this is something that can help her and other people.”

  Becca was surprised at how mature she sounded. It was kind of impressive.

  Jordan played with the strap on her backpack. “I’ve seen you around. You were with some guy last weekend, getting ice cream. Who is he?”

  “Ashton. He’s my uncle Kit’s nephew, the one we talked about before. He’s going to MIT in September.”

  Jordan looked at her. “Are you two together?”

  Becca nodded.

  Jordan returned her attention to her backpack. “That’s nice. Nathan and I...” Her eyes filled with tears and her voice thickened. “He, ah, what he said to you, he said to Ella Powers only she said yes. I caught them together.”

  Tears spilled onto her cheeks. “It was so horrible. He laughed at me and said I was stupid for trusting him like that. He said every guy is just out for what he can get and I’d better grow up.”

  Becca didn’t know what to say so she got up and circled around the table, then sat next to Jordan and hugged her.

  “I’m sorry. He’s a total dick. What a jerk. You deserve better than that.”

  Jordan’s body shook with her sobs. “I was so sure he loved me. I thought he cared. Finally, finally someone was there for me. At least that’s what I thought, but he was only pretending so I’d have sex with him.”

  Becca bit her lower lip as Jordan cried.

  “Everyone is watching me. They’re all talking about me behind my back. A couple of girls have said I deserve it. They’re posting horrible stuff about me.”

  “I haven’t seen it,” Becca admitted. “I don’t check any of that anymore.”

  Jordan straightened and stared at her. “How can you not look?”

  “I’m busy.” Plus, it wasn’t as if she had a ton of friends right now. Who was going to send her anything?

  “I’m sorry,” Jordan told her. “I was so awful to you and you were the only one telling me the truth. I should have listened.”

  “It’s okay.”

  “It’s not, but I hope we can be friends again.”

  “Sure.”

  The reply was automatic, and was followed by a sense of uncertainty. Becca wanted to have friends in her life again, but she wasn’t sure if she could trust Jordan not to act like that again. Jordan had always been into drama and being the center of attention.

  “So we can hang out?”

  “Of course.”

  Jordan smiled at her. “Thank you, Becca. I knew you’d understand.”

  Becca smiled back even as she wondered if she’d found her way back to something important or if she’d just set herself up to be screwed a second time.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  STACEY WOKE UP feeling exactly the same way she had when she went to bed the night before—swollen, exhausted, achy and crabby. She wanted to pick a fight with pretty much anyone and wished she could get one of those foam bats so she could pound away without hurting anyone. She didn’t want to eat or drink or talk, she just wanted to feel better.

  She forced herself to shower, then stood in the bathroom and tried to convince herself she would be fine once she got to work. Only for the first time maybe ever, she couldn’t imagine dragging herself into the lab today. She called Lexi and told her she was taking the morning off, pulled on maternity yoga pants and a T-shirt, then went into the kitchen, dreading a disgusting breakfast of protein-fortified oatmeal, fresh fruit and herbal tea.

  She found Ashton sitting at the table, his tablet in front of him. He looked up when she walked in.

  “Morning. You’re not going to work?”

  “Maybe later. I’m just so tired.”

  H
e eyed her swollen belly. “Dragging all that around can’t be easy. Can I fix you breakfast?”

  His unexpected question almost made her cry. She sank into a chair. “Thank you. That would be wonderful.”

  “No problem.”

  He got up and filled the teakettle and put it on the stove. After measuring out the oatmeal, he put it in a bowl, then pulled out a container of cut-up fruit.

  “I heard back on the online class,” he said, sounding sheepish. “I got an A.”

  “Congratulations.”

  “Don’t say that. I don’t deserve it. I have no idea why I was goofing off like that. It was really stupid.”

  “There could be a lot of reasons. You’re still settling in to living here, so nothing is familiar. You’re adjusting to having Becca in your life. You’re ambivalent about your mother and guilty about your success when compared to what she’s going through so you self-sabotage.” Bay wandered into the kitchen, one of her puppies trailing after her.

  “You’re uncomfortably insightful.”

  She waved away his comment as she patted Bay. “Just speculating. I’m not sure the why matters so much now that you’re aware of what you did. I think as long as you don’t let it happen on a regular basis when you go to college, you’ll be fine.”

  He measured loose tea into the teapot before adding the boiling water. He set the pot, a cup and saucer, along with a tea strainer in front of her. He added a container of yogurt, a spoon, some fresh fruit and a napkin.

  “I’ll get going on the oatmeal.”

  “Thank you.” She felt the strangest need to cry and did her best to push away the tears. Talking about something less emotional than him preparing her breakfast seemed the best way to cope.

  “Are you nervous about college?” she asked.

  “Some.” He measured out water from the kettle and poured it, along with oatmeal, into a pot, then adjusted the temperature on the stove and began to stir the mixture. “Not counting you and Kit, no one I’ve known has ever gone to college. I’m not sure what to expect.”

  Finally a topic on which she could excel. If there was one thing she knew and knew well, it was how to get through the maze that was higher education.

  “The first thing you have to be prepared for is how huge the campus is. All major colleges are practically their own cities. The dorms have very specific rules about when you can show up and what you can bring, but don’t worry about that. We’ll go in a few days early so you’re completely comfortable with where everything is.”

  Ashton glanced at her, all the while stirring her oatmeal. “You’re coming with me when I go to MIT?”

  “Not if you don’t want me to, but I’d planned on making sure you were settled. We can ship a lot of your stuff ahead, but some things just aren’t practical. I’ll have to read the rules for the dorms. Sometimes you can have a mini fridge and sometimes you can’t. That sort of thing. Linens matter, believe me. A good desk chair. You’re not used to the winters so you’ll need several coats in different material to manage the weather. We definitely want to buy those there. Los Angeles is not the place to try to buy a heavy-duty coat.”

  “Thanks, Stacey. That means a lot to me.”

  He spoke without turning around and his voice sounded slightly strangled. She wasn’t sure what that meant but decided it was better not to ask.

  “Once you start school, you have to be prepared for the speed at which everything moves. Academically, you’ll start to feel lost within a couple of days. Don’t let that throw you—everyone is experiencing the same thing. Find out who the TAs are. Go to tutorials. You’re going to have to create your own support group, but don’t jump into anything. You want to find out who’s smart and who’s working hard. They aren’t always the same people. Protect your study time. Create a study schedule and stick to it. You can party after you graduate.”

  He turned around and grinned. “You’re saying I’ll have temptations?”

  “More than you can count. Not just parties, but other activities. Lectures and workshops. They can be just as interesting.”

  “What were you tempted by?”

  She poured herself a cup of tea and took a sip. Bay had settled at her feet. The other puppies had joined the first and now they all climbed over their mother, who seemed content to ignore them. “I went to college when I was fifteen. No one bothered with me, but I saw what was happening around me.”

  She dipped her spoon into the yogurt, then left it there. “You’re as smart as anyone else, but you won’t feel it. Just know that they’re faking it, too. If you don’t understand the assignment, ask. The professors are intimidating on purpose. They want to weed out those who aren’t going to stick to the program. There’s a reason the class size gets smaller as you move through your studies and not all of it is because the subject matter is harder. People drop out.”

  She thought about what else she could tell him. “They’ll have seminars for freshmen. Go to all of them. Learn about campus life. Once you’re in a groove with your studies, you can start to branch out socially. If your roommate parties all night, ask to change rooms. Don’t stop asking until you’re in a living situation that works for you.”

  “You know your stuff.”

  “I went to school for a lot of years.” Getting two PhD’s had taken a bit of time.

  There was more, but she felt an odd pressure in her belly. Something uncomfortable.

  She rose. “I’ll be right back.”

  As her pregnancy had her running to pee continually, Ashton didn’t ask if she was all right, which she appreciated. She made it to the master bathroom only to realize she didn’t have to go at all. Her bladder wasn’t full, it was—

  She was unprepared for the pain that ripped through her. One of the books she’d read had likened contractions to menstrual cramps, but except for location, these had nothing in common. The sharp, almost-twisting band of tightening muscles had her leaning against the wall and trying to catch her breath. A quick wave of nausea swept over her before fading. The contraction eased, and then her water broke.

  What was it with the human body and fluids, she thought as she stared at the mess on the floor. The steady dribble down her legs warned her this wasn’t like the movies where there was a clean whoosh and then nothing. Even more significant, she sensed things were going to get worse before they got better.

  She dropped towels on the floor, before getting out of her wet pants. She used a sanitary napkin to manage the amniotic fluid as best she could, then put on clean yoga pants and took a few minutes to try to relax and catch her breath before she went to find her phone.

  Bay was waiting outside the closed door. The dog whined low in her throat when she saw Stacey.

  “I’m okay,” Stacey told her. “It’s just...”

  Another contraction hit. This one was just as intense, just as unwelcome.

  “Stacey, are you—” Ashton hovered in the doorway to the bedroom for a second, then rushed to her side. “What’s wrong?”

  She handed him the phone and did her best to keep breathing. “I’m having contractions. Call Kit.” She looked at Bay. “How did you get through this so calmly?”

  Bay moved close and licked her hand. Stacey patted her and tried to steady her breathing. “I’m going to be fine,” she lied, terrified that nothing would ever be fine again.

  * * *

  Stacey acknowledged that she was most likely not the first woman to be annoyed by the euphemism of the word labor to describe what her body was going through. She could actually see her muscles rippling with each contraction and the sensation to push grew with every passing second.

  The epidural had helped, but it didn’t take away all the pain, nor did it ease her sense of helplessness. The baby was coming and she couldn’t stop it. Much of the universe was built on randomness. A single act set forces in motion and once they w
ere moving, they could not be stopped.

  She’d met Kit, had fallen in love with him and now she was having his baby. For most women, this day would be the culmination of hopes and dreams—something to be celebrated, not dreaded. But then Stacey had never been like everyone else.

  “Look at me,” Kit said gently. “You’re going to be fine.”

  Statistically he was telling the truth. Childbirth was safe and, despite her age, she was healthy and had done her best to stay that way through the pregnancy. While there were always unexpected developments that could injure or even kill her, they seemed unlikely. No, her bigger problem would be that everything went well and she delivered her baby. And then what?

  Bunny walked into the labor room and crossed to Stacey. “I’m here. How are you doing?”

  Their relationship had always been troubled, always difficult. Stacey had grown up knowing she was a chronic disappointment—she didn’t want to learn how to bake or sew or decorate for Groundhog Day. She wanted to know why the stars moved and some people were better at math than others. Being the kind of wife and mother Bunny admired had been an anathema. She’d prided herself on being better than her mother, on escaping what she viewed as the trap of Bunny’s life.

  Only now she was the one who didn’t know how to make things work. She was left with nothing but useless knowledge and an unskilled heart.

  “I can’t do this, Mom,” Stacey whispered. “I can’t. All those times you said there was something wrong with me? You were right. I’m not like you.”

  Bunny took her other hand and squeezed tight. “Don’t be silly. There’s nothing wrong with you. And of course you’re not like me. You’re your own person and that’s how it’s supposed to be. If you can cure MS, you can have a baby. Even birds have babies.”

  “I’m not curing MS, I’m helping reduce the symptoms and birds don’t give birth. They hatch out of eggs.”

  Her mother sniffed. “See how smart you are.” She smiled. “Stacey, you’re going to have this baby because your body knows what to do. It doesn’t matter what your head thinks. In this battle, your body will win.” She squeezed harder. “You’re not alone, Stacey. I’m here and Kit’s here and your sister is on her way. We’re going to get you through this.”