War Games_Valiant Knox

by Jess Anastasi

Cam stared up at the ceiling, wide-awake for the second night in a row. He wanted to blame the end of the war. Claim he was still in a state of disbelief that a conflict raging for so many years could be over. His role was changing, the danger was no longer as immediate. It was time to look to a different future.

  Except, it was none of those simple things stealing his sleep.

  It was Bren.

  Bren, and the fact he’d gone and fallen in love with her like an idiot and didn’t know what to do about it.

  He’d seen her and Neve around base a few times over the past two days since the war had officially ended. Neve was happy as ever, making friends with other kids and settling into her new life fast.

  Bren treated him much the same as she always had, politely, cordially, except there was no longer an underlying hostility to it. Instead, it was as if she didn’t quite know what to do with him.

  It was hell. And it was slowly killing him.

  With an explosive sigh, he sat up and rubbed both hands over his face. He groped for his comm and then blinked when the screen came on too bright.

  He couldn’t take this anymore. It was stupid. He was fighting himself and fighting the inevitable. There was only one way to fix it.

  Despite the late hour, he commed Commander Yang, who answered on the second trill.

  “Cam. What are you doing awake at this hour?”

  “I was about to ask you the same thing, sir.” Yang didn’t sound like he’d just woken up. In fact, he seemed wide-awake and almost buzzed.

  “It’s Sacha. She had the baby.”

  “Really?” Well, hell. He hadn’t been expecting that.

  “Yeah. A little early, but they’re both doing fine.”

  “Congratulations, sir.” And he meant that, from the bottom of his heart. Kids were amazing. He’d never thought about kids in the immediate sense. They’d been a far off maybe in the future.

  “It’s a little girl. We called her Ellie Mae.”

  Ah, hell. His chest was aching, struck with the immediate urge to go and see Neve. But he didn’t want Neve without Bren, and if he hadn’t already made this middle-of-the-night-snap decision about his future, then that would have sealed the deal.

  “Sir, have you been told where the Knox is deploying next?”

  “Not far. Just one system over. We’ll be patrolling the nearby shipping lanes. The war has made it a hot spot for ship-jackers and pirates.”

  Damn. Not what he’d been hoping to hear. “So, nowhere near a planet.”

  “We’ll be based off-world from a planet called Nuru. When we need supplies and downtime, that’ll be our point of call. Why are you asking?”

  Okay, that might be doable. There was a huge UEF base on Nuru that trained soldiers. He’d never thought about teaching or training, but maybe it’d make a good change of pace.

  “I want to come. When the Knox redeploys.”

  “You want to do what?” Yang gave a disbelieving laugh. “I am talking to Cameron McAllister, right?”

  “Hilarious, Yang. Just what I want to hear at oh-two-hundred.” Maybe this was extreme, but some things were worth the risk.

  “What’s brought this on?” Yang asked, amusement still clear in his voice.

  “Not what. Who.”

  There was a beat of silence on the other end of the comm.

  “I see. Then I’d say you’re making the right choice. I’ll see what I can do to get you on board when we leave in a few days. Let you know later today.”

  Surprisingly, strong relief washed through him, and in that instant, he knew he’d made the right decision, no matter how sudden it had been.

  “Thank you, sir. I’ll let you get back to your family. And congratulations again.”

  “Thanks, Cam. Talk to you later.”

  The comm disconnected, and he set it back on the nightstand, then flopped back into bed. A spark of excitement lit within him. For the first time in a long time, he didn’t know exactly what the future held, wasn’t marching ahead with a carefully considered plan. He was throwing everything into a single move, a risk that had no guarantee of paying off. But the thrill of anticipation was humming through him.

  No matter what, this was one choice he wouldn’t ever regret making.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Bren let go of Neve’s hand as she ran off to play with the other kids kicking a ball in the open grass area.

  Things had been happening fast in the days since the war had ended. With Neve to consider and her own recent eye-opening experiences, including the fact that she’d finally let go of Jordie, she’d resigned her commission on the Valiant Knox.

  And truthfully, there’d been another reason at the start and end of her decision. She’d wanted to stay close to Cam. Give them a chance to get to know each other better. Maybe see if there really was something between them.

  Though it’d been sad to move on from people who’d been her closest friends and family for the last ten years, she’d felt an unexpected sense of freedom when she’d handed in the forms to Commander Yang earlier today. Seb had not been impressed with finding out he was next in line to be CAFF.

  The Valiant Knox would be redeploying tomorrow, though the ship wasn’t going far. They’d been tasked with patrolling the nearby galactic shipping lanes. Now that peace had been restored in the system, the UEF wanted illegal activity stamped out.

  Sure, flying UEF supply shuttles and helping rebuild Ilari wasn’t exactly death-defying and hair-raising like being the CAFF of the fighter pilot squadron. But she was ready for less excitement. She was ready for settling and doing something that was rewarding in a different way.

  Except it had backfired on her. She hadn’t mentioned to Cam she was staying or her reasons why, not wanting him to feel pressured to see her.

  She’d heard his unit had left yesterday, tasked with a peacekeeping mission in a system where two planets were experiencing escalating trade disputes. He’d obviously been ready to move on elsewhere. Except now, she was kicking herself that she hadn’t spoken to him. Would he have made a different choice if he’d known she wasn’t leaving on the Knox?

  She hadn’t gone looking for him since that day they’d parted ways after bringing Neve back to the base, though they’d bumped into each other a few times. The little girl had been upset to find she wouldn’t be living with both of them. But she’d accepted it without fuss and moved on to make the best of things.

  Bren had been hoping to see him again before he left, but everyone had been busy and their paths hadn’t crossed.

  He’d left.

  They hadn’t said good-bye, and she was glad for it. Good-byes were too hard. Too permanent. Maybe one day they’d see each other again. But for now, she had to take a leaf out of Neve’s book and move forward.

  If only her damned chest didn’t hurt so much. Didn’t constantly ache like her heart was physically damaged. Like a piece of her was gone that she could never get back.

  “Anyone would think we lost the war by the look on your face.”

  She glanced over to see Seb holding a plate of food, Jenna not far behind.

  “Sorry,” she muttered. Today was supposed to be a celebration. The crew of the Valiant Knox had come down to join the lunchtime cookout the base had planned. It was a joint farewell for those on the ship, and a celebration of new beginnings for those staying behind.

  “You coming to sit with us?”

  Seb indicated a large square table where Alpha sat with Mia, her friend Kayla, along with Oliva McAllister, who just happened to be Commander Yang’s assistant and Cam’s sister. Then there was Ace—sub-doctor Archie Moore—and finally, Commander Yang with his partner Doctor Sasha Dalton and their new baby, Ellie.

  Jenna had stepped past where Seb stood and was already heading over there, dropping down next to Sacha, who held the baby up for Jenna to see.

  “I’ll just get some food,” she replied.

  Seb was eyeing her closely. He’d been doing that a lot in the past few d
ays. And yes, she was well aware everyone on the Knox had heard about Cam and her. The gossip was definitely one thing she wouldn’t miss about being on the ship.

  The first few days, she’d insisted to Alpha and Seb and anyone else who’d asked that she was fine. But they never believed her, and it had become pointless to keep repeating the same thing over and over.

  Maybe she wasn’t 100 percent fine today, but she would be. She had Neve, and she had rewarding work, and that would be enough. It had to be enough.

  She headed over to the tent where the grill was cooking and burgers were being handed out. There were also sandwiches and salad, leaving her unsure of what she wanted to eat.

  “Theresa Brenner.” The familiar deep voice jolted her heart, like someone had hooked her up to a defibrillator. The way he said her name—even her given name that she hated so much—left a warm, delicious shiver tracking through her.

  She turned to find him striding across the open area, determined expression set into his features.

  “Cam!”

  God, she’d missed him so much, and it’d only been a few days since she’d last seen him. She’d never thought she’d long for the sound of someone’s voice so much.

  “What are you doing here?”

  “Looking for you.” Said as though that fact should have been obvious.

  “No, I mean, why are you still on Ilari? I heard your unit redeployed.”

  “They did.” He added a nod to his words. “But I didn’t go with them. How’s Neve?”

  “Fine,” she mumbled automatically, because her mind had snagged and stopped processing anything.

  He’d decided to stay. And she was staying. Not only were they going to be on the same planet, they were going to be living in the same damned base.

  “I thought about coming to see her, but I figured you’d be making preparations to leave on Knox tomorrow,” he continued, obviously not noticing that she was having a complete brain malfunction. “And once we leave Ilari, we’ll have plenty of time to catch up.”

  “We’re not leaving tomorrow.” Her words came out sounding more like a question. “And what do you mean we?”

  His brow creased, showing his confusion. “I commed Yang last night. He said he’d pull some strings to get me a berth to leave with the Knox. We’re due to depart the system—”

  “It is leaving.” Suddenly she was breathless. “But we won’t be on it. This is Neve’s home. I decided to stay. Fly some shuttles. Settle down. I was ready for less action.”

  “You’re staying.” Now he was the one looking stumped. “But the Knox is your home. It has been for the last ten years.”

  “I couldn’t bear the thought of leaving.” She paused as the truth tripped to the tip of her tongue. “I couldn’t help thinking if we just had time together… So I’m staying. But why the hell are you going? I thought you hated being in space.”

  “I do. But what I hated even more than space was the thought of what I could be missing if I let you and Neve leave without me.”

  A smile spread over her face. She probably looked ridiculous, standing there grinning up at him. But hell, she couldn’t remember the last time she’d been so happy.

  “You were going to give up your command and leave on the Knox without a posting organized, even though you hate space, just to be with us?”

  “Hell yeah, I was.” Cam had started grinning as well. “You gave up being the CAFF to stay on Ilari and take a chance on us?”

  “Didn’t I just tell you that?”

  Before she could take another breath, his arms were around her, and he’d dragged her against him. His hand was in her hair, gripping tight, holding her firm against him as he kissed her. Oh God, did he kiss her. In a way that was totally inappropriate in public where there were children present.

  By the time he pulled back, neither of them was breathing steady. A few people nearby cheered, someone even wolf whistled, leaving her blushing deeply in hot embarrassment for the first time since she’d been a teenager. But she didn’t care. Not when Cam was staring at her like he was planning every hot delicious night between them for the next ten years.

  “Dammit, Theresa Brenner, I love you.”

  The words speared all the way to her soul, leaving warmth spreading through her.

  “I love you, too. Obviously. Otherwise I would have hit you by now for calling me Theresa twice in less than ten minutes.”

  He leaned closer, lips brushing over her ear. “I’m going to change the way you feel about that name of yours, just you wait and see.”

  From the dark, intimate tone to his voice, there was no missing exactly how he planned to do that.

  “Cam!” Neve appeared through the crowd, her face all smiles and excitement. “Bren said you left.”

  Cam sliced her a lightly chiding look before crouching down to Neve’s level.

  “Without you? Not a chance, kiddo.”

  “Does this mean you can come and live with us? We’re getting a house, you know. It’ll be ready in two days. I get my own room and toys and everything!”

  Cam glanced up at her, and she didn’t see a hint of doubt in his eyes. He picked Neve up and then stood, reaching out to take her hand and draw her in.

  “I would love to come and live with you.” There was an unspoken question in his gaze, because ultimately, it was up to her.

  Little did he know, there was no choice for her. He had her heart, completely and wholly.

  She looked at Neve with a smile. “If he snores, I’m going to send him to sleep with you.”

  Neve giggled. “There won’t be any room, I already have Winky sharing my bed.”

  “Then I better not snore, or I guess it’ll be the floor for me.” Cam kissed Neve on the forehead and then tugged Bren in for a quick kiss on her lips, leaving Neve laughing and making smooch noises.

  Cam tickled her in revenge and then turned toward the nearby table. “Now, baby-girl, I know how much you love to eat. So, tell me what you want.”

  Bren hung back, watching as Cam prepared a plate for Neve, then made a second for himself. The two of them headed over for her table of friends while she organized her food and then joined them a few moments later.

  Neve had the center of attention as she relayed a story about how she’d caught a butterfly in a jar a few days before and it had laid eggs on a leaf she’d put in with it.

  Cam made room for her, his smile perfect and intimate as Bren dropped down next to him, promising many happy days just like this one ahead of them.

  Epilogue

  Some days, it was easy to forget Ilari had only come out of a decades-long war five years ago. Today was one of those days. What had once been the Holy City had been renamed Victorita, and almost every building, old and new, had been decorated with flags, streamers, and bunting.

  The first UEF government representative since the war had ended was being sworn in—Prime Chancellor Halden Laurent would be the first leader of the new Ilari.

  Bren, Cam, and Neve had arrived a few days earlier to explore the city. Neve had turned twelve the day before, and it had been her request. They’d visited a memorial to those lost in the war—too many to name. Neve had laid flowers for her parents. The sight had made Bren’s heart ache. They’d given the girl a stable, loving home, but she’d always have a hole in her heart, and though she rarely spoke of it, not knowing exactly what had happened to her parents had to be hard.

  Today, however, the three of them were heading to Ilari’s newly opened spaceport to meet one of the incoming shuttles. The Valiant Knox had arrived back in orbit overnight for the celebrations, but also because Commander Yang would be receiving a prestigious military medal for his service during the war.

  “Are you nervous?” Cam asked her as they waited at the arrivals gate, watching a screen that was scrolling with information about landing shuttles.

  “It’s not like we haven’t talked every other week for the last few years.”

  The Valiant Knox had luckily
remained deployed within short trips of Ilari, so they’d all kept in contact easily, with video calling between visits.

  There’d been lots of reasons to celebrate over the years—weddings, and babies, and kid’s birthday parties.

  “Yeah, but you’ve been keeping a kind of big secret,” Cam replied, setting a hand over her rounded stomach.

  She elbowed him. “Watch it. I’m not that big.”

  He gave a low laugh and kissed her jaw. “Compared to a battlecruiser. No, you’re not.”

  Fine. She was huge. Those twins were taking up a damn lot of room. And she only had a few weeks left until they arrived. So many times, when she’d been talking on the comm to Seb, or Alpha, or Sacha, whom she’d become close friends with, she’d almost told them. But she’d known this day was coming for a few months now, and had decided it would be more fun to surprise them face-to-face with the news.

  Especially since Cam and she were the last to be doing the whole pregnancy-baby thing. Heck, Sacha and Commander Yang had managed to have three kids in five years—a girl and two boys. Alpha and Mia had one boy and one girl, seeming satisfied with two. Seb and Jenna had one rambunctious little boy, who was the spitting image of his father and giving the guy hell, which everyone found hilarious.

  Cam and she had been content giving their full attention to Neve. But then, kids were scarily perceptive, and it’d been their clever cookie who’d said out of the blue one day that she’d like a baby brother or sister.

  “Shuttle’s landed,” Cam commented. He set a hand on Neve’s shoulder and she smiled up at both of them. She was holding an armful of gifts she’d picked out for all the kids. So close to becoming a teenager, but still as sweet as ever.

  Bren reached down and threaded her fingers with Cam’s. Some days she still couldn’t believe how lucky they were, that this was their life, that it wasn’t some dream. The war they’d spent so long fighting was a distant memory, and everything was so wonderfully settled, mundane in the best way possible.

  She spotted Alpha first, carrying a kid in each arm.

  “Here they come.” Cam almost seemed more excited than she did. Despite his long years in the UEF military, he’d taken to civilian life with ease in his position as liaison between Ilari’s government and the UEF, embracing the different pace of things.