A Catered Birthday Party

by Crawford, Isis

  “Cool,” Megan said. “Did you arrest any bad guys?”

  “Lots,” Sean said.

  “Do you carry a gun?”

  “Not anymore,” Sean said.

  “Pooh,” Megan said, making a face.

  “Megan is my best friend,” Samantha announced.

  “Her only friend,” Megan corrected.

  “That is so not true.”

  “I meant here in Longely.”

  “There’s Jenn,” Samantha protested.

  “Not since she’s been going out with J.T.”

  “True,” Samantha said. “She’s gone over to the dark side.”

  She plopped her bag on the counter, knocking over a bunch of business cards sitting next to the register.

  “Drats,” Samantha said as they tumbled onto the floor.

  She bent down and began picking them up and handing them to Sean, who glanced at them before handing them to Megan, who restacked them neatly.

  There was a whole cottage industry here he wasn’t aware of, Sean reflected as he watched Megan rearranging the cards. There were dog walkers and dog groomers and doggie dental hygienists. There were dog sitters and dog breeders, dog behaviorists, doggie psychics, and doggie daycares, as well as nutritional consultants and people who offered to cook meals for dogs and deliver them directly to your house.

  “I think my daughters are in the wrong business,” he commented as he handed Megan several cards.

  “A lot of these people are deeply weird,” Megan said. “They don’t relate to people at all.”

  “Do they make a good living doing this?” Sean asked, thinking of Melissa, Trudy’s dog breeder, and her trainer, Ramona.

  Megan thought for a moment. “Some do, but not most,” she said.

  Samantha straightened up and began looking in her bag for some bubble gum. “The weird thing is most of them don’t like dogs. Or maybe they do—maybe that’s why they go into it—but they become kinda hardened….”

  “Like doctors with their patients,” Megan said.

  Samantha nodded. “It’s like their career and they don’t think about what’s best for the dog. Like Ramona with Trudy. Got it,” she said, holding up her gum. “Want some?” Samantha asked Sean as she took out a piece of bubble gum, unwrapped it, and popped it into her mouth.

  Sean was about to refuse the offer and then changed his mind. Why not? He was tired of saying no to things. He’d had a piece of coconut cake the other day, and he was riding in a Mini Cooper. He decided to experiment with saying yes more often.

  As he tasted the gum’s sweetness he realized he couldn’t remember when the last time he’d chewed a piece of bubble gum was. He tried making a bubble. And succeeded. Evidently this was a skill one didn’t forget. The bubble was small, but in this case small was good enough. Next time he’d blow a larger one. And the time after that it would be even bigger. For some reason, he felt absurdly proud of himself.

  “Megan’s going to live with me in Fort Green,” Samantha announced after she’d blown her own bubble and popped it.

  Megan beamed. “It won’t be long now.” She gestured at the poster. “I hope they don’t find her,” she said. “I’d never turn her in.”

  “Not even for the reward money?” Sean asked.

  “Not even for the reward money,” Megan said.

  “Even if you needed it?”

  “I do need it and I’m not doing it,” Megan stated.

  She looked him square in the eye, which got Sean to thinking that thanks to Samantha, Megan knew exactly where Trudy was.

  “Why is that?” Sean asked Megan.

  “Because no one in that place really liked her, not even Annabel, and no one, animal or human, deserves to live like that. It’s too awful.”

  “See,” Samantha said to Sean. “I told you so.” She turned to Megan. “He didn’t believe me.”

  “How do you know?” Sean asked. “After all, she gave Trudy this big birthday party. That has to mean she liked her.”

  “No,” Megan said heatedly. “That means she wanted to throw a big party and Trudy was just the excuse. It’s the whole Mommie Dearest thing. And believe me, I know whereof I speak. Annabel used to come in the store and buy stuff all the time. You could tell she was only doing it because she thought that Trudy had to have the best. She was like an accessory or something to her. And here’s the weird part. She wasn’t comfortable with her. I don’t think she knew how to handle her. It’s like she wasn’t used to dogs or something.”

  “I don’t understand,” Sean said.

  “That’s because she probably wasn’t,” Samantha said. “When I was there working I was always the one who walked her. Or Ramona did. Or the groomer. Aside from an occasional pat on the head, Annabel never had much to do with her.”

  Sean frowned. “She brought her to the store when she talked to my daughters.”

  Samantha gave him a how-dumb-can-you-be look. “Duh. That’s because that was in public. She was always very nice to Trudy in public. It’s in private that I’m talking about. It’s like Trudy was another one of her obnoxious stuffed animals. In fact, I think Annabel preferred those.”

  “Even in here,” Megan said. “She never let Trudy pick out what she wanted.”

  Sean was about to observe that Trudy was a dog and that dogs don’t pick out things, but he decided that would just get the conversation off on a different tangent. Instead he said, “Do most people let their dogs pick out their own toys?”

  Megan gave an emphatic nod. “It’s so cute. We just had a German shepherd and his human in and the dog picked out this sheepskin lamp. He carried it out to the car. And as for him—”

  “Him?”

  “The husband. Richard. He doesn’t even like animals. Not one single bit.”

  “How do you know that?”

  “Because the woman who grooms Trudy, she used to go to school with Annabel and Richard, and she said—”

  Sean held up his hand. “Wait a minute. I didn’t know Annabel and Richard went to the same high school,” he said. Not that there was any reason he should know, but somehow he felt remiss that this bit of information had escaped him.

  “And the same community college too,” Megan told him. “My mom knew them both. He was a couple of grades ahead of her. My mom said he was a real turkey. Came from the wrong side of the tracks, so he had to prove to everyone how great he was. Now he’s this big deal around here with this gigundo house. But he’s just mean. The only thing he cares about is moolah.” Megan made a rubbing motion with her thumb and forefinger. “And sex. According to my mom, he screwed—if you’ll pardon the expression—anything that moved. One girl tried to commit suicide when he broke up with her. I don’t know why anyone would do that. Guys are so not worth it.

  “Anyway,” Megan continued, “my mom used to live across the street from him. And my mom and my uncle had this dog named Sparky, and sometimes Sparky would go sit on the Colberts’ lawn. He didn’t do anything. He just liked to sit under this big old red maple tree they had. And it was okay with Richard’s parents. But not Richard. In fact, my mom said she saw him kick Sparky really hard one day when he thought no one was looking. They had to take Sparky to the vet because Richard broke something.

  “He swore he didn’t and everyone believed him, but my mom knows what she saw. And he was mean to cats. My mom saw him throwing rocks at this stray cat that used to come on his property and pee in the bushes. No one believed her about that either.” Megan paused for a breath. “They got into this big fight and she never spoke to him again after that.”

  “Well, that was a long time ago,” Sean said. “People change.”

  “Nope,” Megan said. “Not with that kind of stuff. Either you’re an animal lover or you’re not.”

  “You could be indifferent,” Sean suggested.

  Megan thought that over for a moment. “I suppose,” she conceded. “But all I know is that Richard came in here one day yelling about all the money that Annabel was spe
nding on Trudy.”

  That was something Sean actually couldn’t fault him on.

  “He was really, really angry. I just thought it was weird, given all the money they had, that he would care about his wife spending two hundred dollars on a cashmere sweater for a dog.”

  “I would care,” Sean said.

  “Yeah, but two hundred dollars is a lot to you,” Samantha pointed out. “To him, it was probably like ten bucks.”

  “You know,” Megan said, “I bet Annabel was just buying those things to piss Richard off. Jessica’s mom used to do that to Jessica’s dad a lot before they got divorced.”

  Sean pointed to Trudy’s poster. “He’s offering a thousand dollars’ reward. That has to mean something.”

  “He’s doing it for show,” Megan said. “It’s part of his shtik. Like this whole going-to-Westminster thing. That’s a crock. She’s never going to win. Not with those teeth.”

  “Then why is everyone so anxious for her to go?” Sean asked.

  “Because it makes everyone look good. It gives Richard status. And it’s a way for Ramona to make money. She knows Trudy doesn’t have a chance in hell. She just kept telling Annabel that so she’d have a job. None of those people know one end of a dog from another. Nor do they care. Westminster is disgusting. It’s worse than human beauty pageants. It should be disbanded.”

  “Wow,” Sean said.

  Megan ducked her head. “Sorry,” she said. “I tend to get carried away.”

  As Sean watched, Samantha went over to one of the shelves and picked out a box of dog biscuits. “Here,” she said, bringing it over to the counter.

  Sean took a look. The box had a picture of a dog and a rabbit on it. The type read: Rabbit stew in a biscuit form. Hand cooked and hand rolled. Everything from our farm to your table with love. Human grade. No pesticides or antibiotics. If you want to indulge with your pet go ahead. The price on the box read twenty-five dollars.

  “Twenty-five dollars!” Sean yelped. “Don’t you think that’s a bit steep?”

  “Don’t worry,” Megan said. “I’ll give it to you for cost. That’ll be ten.” She looked at the clock on the wall. “If you hurry you can get to the florist before he closes.”

  “And why would I want to do that?” Sean asked.

  “Duh,” Megan said. “So you can get something for In—” And she clapped her hand over her mouth.

  “Megan!” Samantha shrieked. “You promised.”

  “Well, I’m sorry,” Megan said.

  “Who else did you tell about Trudy?” Sean asked.

  “No one.” Samantha raised her hand. “I swear.”

  Sean sighed. This is what he got for getting involved with this kind of stuff.

  “And I won’t either,” Megan told him. “They can pull my fingernails out and I wouldn’t tell.”

  Sean thought an hour in the Longely jail would be enough.

  “I just want you to know that I really admire what you’re doing,” Megan said. “I think it’s a really good thing. If more people followed their hearts, the world would be a better place.” And she came around the counter and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

  “I know,” Samantha said once they were back in her vehicle. “And I’m sorry. It’s just that she’s my best friend.”

  “When you keep a secret, you don’t tell it to anyone. That is the definition of a secret.”

  Samantha hung her head. “I had to have someone to talk to.”

  Sean rubbed his forehead. He could feel a headache developing. What had he expected given the fact that he was dealing with a teenage girl? “Well, I hope your friend can keep her mouth shut,” Sean said as they took off. “That’s all I can say.”

  “She will,” Samantha assured him. “I can guarantee it.”

  Sean didn’t reply. There was nothing he could say that would be productive.

  Chapter 26

  Samantha pulled into the driveway of Ines’s house and killed the engine. Sean had been here several years ago when the place had belonged to Mary Dottard, to tell her that her husband had been hit by a drunk bicyclist and was in the hospital with a fractured hip. Fortunately, Mary’s husband had been all right. Sean had liked the looks of the place then and he liked it now.

  The house was a small, neat, wood and quarried-rock bungalow set back off the street. It had diamond-paned windows and a large, welcoming front porch, a throwback to the days when people had time to visit. A couple of face cords of split firewood were neatly stacked along the porch’s far wall.

  Ropes of small white lights snaked around the two large stone pillars flanking the stairs. A trellis supported a clematis vine that Sean knew bloomed in the summer and early fall. The sounds of television floated out of the house. Sean smelled wood smoke, which made him think that Ines had a fire going inside. He heard Trudy barking as he rang the bell to the house. It made a nice jingly sound.

  “What a pleasant surprise,” Ines said when she opened the door a moment later. She nodded toward the presents he was holding. “If you were a Greek, I’d say something along the lines of…and bearing gifts no less…but since you’re not Greek, you’re Irish, I can’t.”

  “Is this a bad time?” Sean asked. For some reason or another, he had a sneaking suspicion that he was not in Ines’s good graces. Maybe it was the look on her face, which was not exactly welcoming. Or maybe it was the whole Greeks-bearing-gifts thing. If he remembered right, the saying Ines was alluding to was, “Beware of Greeks bearing gifts.” “Would you like us to leave?” he offered.

  “Don’t be silly. Come on in.” Then Ines turned to the little black pug that was standing beside her barking up a storm and wagging its tail so hard its little hindquarters were shaking. “Edna, stop that,” she ordered. The pug barked louder. Ines threw up her hands. “What can you do?” she said to Sean and Samantha with a smile on her face as she beckoned them in. “She doesn’t listen to me any better than my children did.”

  Sean stared at the pug. He was now thoroughly confused. “That’s…”

  “Edna,” Ines said firmly. “We don’t even use the ‘T’ word. At all. It’s amazing how fast she got used to her new name.”

  “But she’s black,” Sean said.

  “I know,” Ines said. “I can see that.”

  “But how?”

  Ines and Samantha looked at each other and laughed.

  “Welcome to the world of hair dyes, Sean,” Ines said as she took the dog biscuits and the flowers that he was holding. “And thank you for the presents. That was very sweet of you. And very wise.”

  Sean was about to ask Ines why she had said ‘wise,’ but Samantha spoke first.

  “It was my idea,” she said proudly. “I don’t mean the presents,” she said quickly.

  “I know, dear,” Ines replied. “You meant the hair dye, and I must say it was an excellent thought.”

  “But isn’t that bad for…for…Edna?” Sean asked.

  “Nope,” Ines said. “I checked. The dye we’re using on her is one hundred percent organic, one hundred percent nontoxic. You could use it on an infant if you wanted to—although I can’t see why anyone would do something like that.”

  “Are you sure?” Sean persisted.

  “Of course I’m sure,” Ines said indignantly. She put Sean’s presents on the hall table, then hung up his and Samantha’s coats. Then, with Trudy hot on her heels, she picked up the presents and headed into the kitchen for a vase for the flowers. “Give me credit for some brains.”

  “But was it necessary?” Sean asked.

  “Necessary?” Ines whirled and faced him. “Necessary?”

  Sean took an involuntary step back and held up his hands against the onslaught of unleashed emotion. Obviously, he should have stayed off this topic.

  “I was just asking,” he said plaintively.

  “Maybe it’s necessary because I am harboring a kidnap victim in my house. You have made me into a felon.”

  “Well, I’d hardly go that far,”
Sean said.

  “Well, I would,” Ines retorted.

  “Kidnapping implies a ransom,” Sean said. “Unlawful possession is a more accurate designation for what we have here, and that’s a misdemeanor.”

  “Wonderful. Now I can relax. Just think, I was worried when I saw that sign in the pet shop,” Ines said. “Silly me.”

  “Oh, that thing…” Sean stammered.

  “Yes, Sean. That thing. I walked into the shop and nearly had a heart attack. Thank God Edna wasn’t with me.”

  He recognized the signs now. He had an angry, indignant female on his hands.

  “I think you may be overreacting a tad,” Sean observed gingerly.

  “I don’t,” Ines snapped. She pulled the collar of her turtleneck sweater up. “Weren’t you supposed to call and explain things to me? Tell me what was going on?”

  “Yes, but…”

  “Yes, but nothing. You didn’t call. You didn’t explain.”

  “You could have called me,” Sean pointed out.

  “I was afraid to. Fortunately, Samantha did call me.”

  Samantha smiled. Sean glared at her.

  “I just wanted to make sure everyone was all right,” Samantha said. “After all, I am kinda responsible for the situation.”

  “Kinda?” Sean repeated. “Kinda responsible?” He could hear his voice rising.

  “All right,” Samantha said. “I’m totally responsible for the situation. Does that make you happier?”

  “Thank you,” Sean said. “Yes, it does. Marginally.”

  “After all, I couldn’t take the little darling out looking the way she did,” Ines went on. “Someone might have spotted her.”

  “I think that may be overstating the case….” Sean said. But before he could finish his sentence, Ines rode right over him.

  “And I couldn’t keep her in. She has to go for her walks. I was in a terrible quandary about what to do, which was when Samantha called. I asked her for suggestions and she asked Megan, who actually knows about dogs, and we came up with this.” She pointed to Trudy/Edna, who was presently sitting on Ines’s feet. “There are black pugs, you know.”