Jax

by Penny Anglene

  I try calling Jax and there is no answer. I wait for another hour and he still isn’t home. I continue to try to call him and the shop. I finally call and ask Eva if she’s heard from him. She tells me she had seen him earlier and he said he had plans to go out with a friend for a drink and he had something else to do. He stopped by and grabbed some clothes; she told me that the kids have always left spares at the house. I asked her if she hears from him if she would have him call me. She said she would.

  I wait up all night, worried sick. He never called home. I’m silently crying, not understanding what in the hell is going on. I continue to look at my phone to see if he has messaged me. I’ve laid on this damn couch waiting for him to come home all night. My phone dings again. I look and it’s another picture. He has a girl in his arms, in a bed. I set my phone down and just bawl like a baby. He was so adamant that he wouldn’t tolerate cheating, and there he is doing it himself. That son of a bitch.

  I take a shower and start cleaning my home. Although I have been up all night, I have things to take care of, like packing up his shit in trash bags. I will not be treated this way. I work all day gathering his things and am exhausted and end up falling asleep around ten that night.

  I wake up the next day at seven in the morning with my face ravaged. I decide to put a cold compress on my face to help with the effects of crying. The doorbell rings at nine and it’s Toby. I open the door and let him in. I look like hell and he just has this look of pure glee on his face.

  “What do you want Toby?” I ask, not in the mood for his bullshit.

  “Jax wanted me to come get some of his clothes. He said to tell you he doesn’t like cheaters, do not call him, do not come to the shop. He said it was over. He also said he would be by in the next week to get the rest of his things,” he tells me with mirth in his voice.

  “Sure, Toby, here are his clothes. Tell him to let me know when, and I will make myself scarce. He can leave the key on the table,” I mutter.

  He grabs up the bags of clothes and out the door he goes. After I see him off, it pops in my head that he wasn’t surprised that Jax’s clothes were already packed up. Almost as if he knew they would be. I wonder if he is the one that I feel watching me.

  I lock it all up and go crawl back into bed. I still am not feeling well and I do need to go to the doctor tomorrow. I drift off to sleep crying silently. I wake up later to a headache so bad I’m vomiting. My ears hurt, and I have a temperature. I get dressed in sweats and go take myself to the urgent care in town. I’m in and out in just under an hour. I have an upper respiratory infection and they put me on steroids and antibiotics. They told me if I don’t start feeling better in the next three days to come back. I go to the pharmacy and get the prescriptions filled before heading home. I pull up and there sits Jax. What the hell? He already sent his lap dog over, did he come to see what he has reduced me too. As far as I’m concerned, love isn’t what it’s all cracked up to be. It’s nothing but a lot of heartache. I get out of my vehicle and give him an evil eye. “What do you want Jax?” I ask with a tired voice.

  “Why?” he asks.

  “Why what?”

  “Why did you send my clothes back to me? Why didn’t you talk to me before doing that?” he asks me.

  My mouth falls open.

  “Look I don’t know what you’re going on about. You sent your brother over for your clothes. You’re the one with another girl in bed, and you’re the one who hasn’t returned any of my calls after my calling countless times. You went out with a friend; I didn’t know anything about it, not even a common courtesy of you letting me know you were going. So, don’t throw this shit at me. You promised no cheating, you were adamant that you wouldn’t tolerate it, and look what you did the first chance you got.” I keep getting louder with each word uttered. I am so mad at him. I am so sick that he done this to us.

  “I wasn’t the one to cheat. You were. Toby said he had seen you,” he mutters and goes to grab me.

  I drop my purse and lunge towards him and drop kick his knee. He goes down. I am standing there wheezing and out of breath, partly because I am so pissed off, the other because I am sicker than a dog. Just as I am about to pick up my things off the ground, Pete pulls up and gets out of his vehicle. He looks around and takes in the scene. He raises his eyebrow, concern on his face.

  “What the hell is going on?” he forcefully asks, as he looks at Jax on the ground.

  I look at Pete. “I want him gone,” pointing my finger at Jax.

  I pick up my purse and go toward the door. Turning back around, yelling at Pete, “Get my fucking house key while you’re taking out the trash.”

  I go in and lock the door behind me. I can hear the two arguing and just keep heading toward the kitchen. I get my medicine out along with something for my temperature and take them all with a glass of milk. I let Sassy out and wait on her. I hear someone knock. I stalk toward the front door and yank it open.

  I answer the door, with my hand held out, waiting for Pete to put my key in my hand. I snatch it up and before he can ask, I slam the door in his face.

  I let Sassy back in and go to bed, turning the television on just for the noise and company. Tears are running down my face, but they are pissed-off tears. How dare he. He’s the one that cheated. I didn’t. I’m so damn angry, so fucking heartbroken.

  I drift off to sleep, praying the nightmares don’t start in the middle of the night. I wake up to gut-wrenching tears streaming down my face. My pillow is soaked from my tears. I grab it up and hold it wishing it was Jax. Why did he have to fuck it all up? I am rocking myself back and forth in my bed. Sassy gets up in my lap trying to nudge her way up into my arms, I pick her up and hold her. Jax kept the nightmares from appearing and now they’re back with a vengeance. I get up, head into the kitchen to get something to drink, and sit on the couch. Sassy gets up and wants in my arms again. She knows something is wrong. I pet her and tell her what my nightmare was, just like I used too. She can’t talk me out of it though. As the tears continue to fall, she tries to lick them all away.

  I sit until daybreak light sifts through the curtains by the front window. I get up to make a cup of coffee, and it feels so good on my throat, the warmth of it. Now, I wish the ice I feel in my veins would thaw. My phone is ringing, and I answer it without looking at who it is.

  “Talk to me, Ria. Did you have another nightmare?” Jax asks me. I look at the phone wondering how the hell he knew. I put the phone back to my ear. “I’m sitting outside. We need to talk. I saw you get up, but I didn’t want to scare you. Talk to me, Ria, please. I didn’t cheat on you. I love you too much to do something like that.” His voice sounds tortured.

  “Really, Jax? I have a picture that says otherwise. You made promises to me. You broke that promise. You wouldn’t even answer your phone when I called. I called your parents and they said you went out with friends and got clothes from their place. You didn’t even have the common decency to call me yourself. What did I do to deserve that? You sent your brother to get your clothes from here. No call, no explanation. Nothing. It’s over Jax. I deserve better and I should have known it wouldn’t last. It never does.” I pause for a second. “Bye, Jax,” I sob out.

  I hit end on my phone and turn it off. I later turn my phone back on, so I can call Alexis at eight, I know it’s only eight, but I have a client coming in at ten and there is no way. It’s a Monday appointment and I am so sick.

  She agrees to go take care of my client for me and tells me to get better. She said she would call and cancel what clients they couldn’t handle on Tuesday for me.

  I do nothing but sleep, rest, and cry for the remainder of the day. I wake up the next morning not much better, getting up only when I have to. The day drags by and I call the girls later in the afternoon to let them know I won’t be in the next day either.

  It’s Thursday and I am starting to feel like I’m human again, still emotionally devastated about what all has happened. I turned my phone on la
st night and had about thirty missed calls from Jax, and Eva called once. I just can’t right now. Maybe when I have a chance to digest what has gone down, then I will meet the calls head-on.

  As I get ready for work, I happen to glance in the mirror and see my dragon. My eyes start misting again. I take my hand and run it up and down my side on top of it. This will always remind me of Jax. I shake it off and go to work, the day drags by. I tell the girls that Jax and I are no longer together and that I really don’t want to talk about it right now. I get a hug from all of them, but they don’t push me. We get done for the day, everybody helps to clean up and we lock it up. Pulling into my driveway, I see Mrs. Franks and just wave, going inside. She is just looking at me curiously. I talk to Sassy as soon as I go in. I let her out and feed her, doing some laundry that has piled up. It’s only seven but I decide I am going to bed. I am just done in. I take my medicine with milk again. I’ve lost my appetite and not had but a cup of soup in the last couple of days. I fall asleep, waking up at four in the morning from another nightmare.

  I get up and get something to drink. I just go to sit down and the doorbell rings.

  Who the hell would ring it at four in the morning? I look through the peephole. I can’t believe this.

  I wrench open the door. “What do you want, Jax?” I ask as he pushes his way in. He grabs me up, takes me to the couch and sets me on his lap. I am fighting him the whole time. “What the hell, Jax? What are you doing? Have you lost your fucking mind?” I screech at him kicking and hitting him the best I can. He takes my hands and wraps them around my back.

  “Listen, beautiful. I didn’t mess around on you. I promise. I don’t know what picture you think you saw but it wasn’t me. I did go to my parents. I had something I had to do. I got sick when I stopped to pick something up at the shop. Next thing I knew, when I woke up, I was in Toby’s spare bedroom. I went to call you and I couldn’t find my phone. I had to get another one. Toby came in with my clothes, said you would be gone when I came to get the rest of my things. That you said it was over and to kick bricks.” He is spitting all of this out desperately in a voice from lack of sleep.

  “No, what he said when he came and got your clothes was that you sent him to come pick them up,” I yell. He is shaking his head no.

  “I didn’t, honey,” he states.

  I am shaking my head. I don’t want to hear this. It’s making the hurt come in stabbing waves of fresh pain. It hits me in the gut over and over again. I’m a big old blubbering mess.

  “You caused this. You did. You lied and cheated. You made such a big deal out of all of this I don’t share bullshit and then, what do you do? The first chance, you do what you said you wouldn’t tolerate. I want you to leave,” I scream at him.

  “What picture? Look, I love you, beautiful. More than you can know. I didn’t cheat, you’re my heart. I went to go buy your engagement ring. I wanted to ask you to marry me. I met with a jeweler. I had to stop and get a check from the safe. I’ll go because I can’t bear to see you in this much pain. Remember this though, we are not over. When you’re ready to listen, you know where I am. I love you, Ria,” he whispers in my ear. He kisses the side of my head. He sets me on the couch and leaves. I sit there for I don’t know how long. I hear him talking to Mrs. Franks. I get up and look as he gets in his truck to leave. I hear Sassy barking and scratching louder than ever before out back. I open the door and let her in, she runs to the front door barking.

  “I know, baby, I miss him too, but I can’t live with a lie. He hurt me too much.” I groan in misery.

  I lock the door, decide to just go shower and get ready for work.

  I head into work early and get some of the weekly paperwork done, as well as the inventory order. At nine the doors open, and I start with my first two customers. I don’t feel that happiness I normally feel when I cut a new style on a head of hair. This time though, it’s like all the color has been washed away down the sink. The day progresses and before I know it, my last customer for the day is done and gone, I lock the doors and clean up.

  Deciding I need some things from the store I head out, having this feeling that someone is watching me again. I park at Walmart and look around. I don’t see anyone that is paying that close of attention to me, so I head inside. I grab a cart and get a few things for the week. I turn down the aisle by the cereal and glance up and my chest tightens and the breath in my body seizes. He’s back. Hedrick is back. He looks me square in the eyes and there is no expression whatsoever in his. I grab my cart and go the other way. I go directly to check out, thinking I need to call Trent.

  I gather my stuff and walk next to someone I don’t know, all the while looking around to see if Hedrick is following me. I load the car and go as fast as I can, getting home in half the time. I grab my few groceries from the seat next to me, looking around before getting out of my vehicle. I lock it up, taking my keys in my hand like I was taught to defend myself. I have my house key in the other, unlocking my door as fast as I possibly can.

  Sassy is yapping and running around, acting all kinds of crazy. I have no idea of what to do at this point. My nerves are stretched thin, feeling like they’re going to snap any second now, and all of my emotions are at the surface. My lips tremble and I let out a small sob. I pick up my phone to call my savior again. There isn’t an answer and I leave a message. I think of calling my mom but don’t want to worry her and Daddy. I take a deep breath and count, just like I was taught in therapy. I sit down, trying to think of happy times. The longer I do this, the calmer I become. I can do this, hearing words from the counseling sessions, you can do this…

  I get up after calming down and take care of my things. My phone rings and thinking it’s Trent, I again just answer. I should have known better.

  “I miss you, Ria. When are we going to talk?” Jax asks me yet again.

  “Why would I talk to you? I thought we had been over this already. I have the picture,” I say in a despondent low voice. God, I miss him so much.

  “Ria, beautiful, I don’t know what picture you’re talking about. I love you and haven’t been with anyone. I am telling you the gods honest truth. I have a receipt showing where I was that night. I went to buy your engagement ring. I stopped next door for a beer with Zeke. He needed to talk to me about something important. He left and I talked to the guy next to me. I went to the bathroom and when I got back, the fellow had bought me a beer. I drank it with him and left. I had to go by the shop and get a check from the business account so I could go to the bank and deposit it into my personal account to cover the check I wrote for the ring I bought Ria. I got so sick that night, I don’t remember much of anything.” He tells me all this and I can hear the tears in his voice.

  “Jax, I don’t know what to believe anymore. I know things are not adding up. This is a lot to take in. I need to think. Give me until tomorrow evening, I will let you know what I decide then,” I say this with a heartrending sob. I just place my thumb on the end button of my cell.

  I drop the cell on the counter and go open the back door for Sassy, and she goes out. My front doorbell rings. Shaking my head, I have no clue who it could be, but I go to answer it. It’s a lady from one of the local florists. I have a bouquet of red roses and they are gorgeous. I thank her and go to set them on the counter to look at the card.

  “I love you with my whole heart, Ria, because you are my heart! Please talk to me.”

  Jax

  I put it down and run to the bathroom. My face is nothing but a mess. It is swollen from blubbering. I mop up my face and I hear Sassy just going absolutely nuts. I leave the bathroom and as I am walking down the hallway, I notice that I forgot and left the front door wide open. I shake my head, heading towards the backdoor. Sassy is raising nine kinds of hell back there, and she has been acting off since Jax left.

  I’m thinking that something or someone is manipulating the both of us, and in some ways, it makes me think his brother is part of it. If that’s the case, I don’t
know what I’m going to do. Yes, I do, I am going to cold cock him.

  I go to open the back door and am whacked upside my head with what feels like a baseball bat. That’s the last thing I remember as I crash to the floor with a thump.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Trent’s Point of View

  I look down at my phone as I come out of church and see I have missed yet another call from Ria. I can’t push Debbie to call her right now. She has had some breakthroughs with her counseling, and she needs this time. I see she has left a voicemail and as I make my way to the bar decide to listen to it before I call her back.

  “Beer,” I tell the prospect. This is one that may make it if he continues to show us that he has the ability to be our brother and show his loyalty. He has gone above and beyond anything we ask of him.

  I lift the can to my mouth and while taking the first swig of it my phone rings. I look to see who is calling; it’s Franks widow. I pick it up right away. She only calls me when something is wrong.

  “What’s up Josie?” I ask in a gruff voice.

  “She and her fella had a falling out of some type. He went by there this morning. She hasn’t shut her door, so I went to look and she’s not there. That mutt of hers is having a fucking fit. I can’t get it to stop yapping. Something is wrong, and you need to get your ass up here now, boy.”

  “Hold on, Josie.” I disconnect and listen to my voicemail from Ria.

  “He’s in town, I saw him. He looked at me with dead eyes. I’ve had a feeling of someone watching me for a while now. I’m scared Trent. Hedrick is around. At first, I thought it was Toby, Jax’s brother. Jax and I have parted ways, but I think someone is manipulating things between us for some reason. Call me when you get this.”

  “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” I am irate, and my voice keeps getting louder when I yell for my pres. “Garr,” I growl out outraged. “We’ve got a big problem. Our girl is missing again, someone got her. Josie just called me. I just listened to Ria’s voicemail and she has seen Hedrick. I smell a rat, and to top it off, she and her man split. She thinks someone helped to manipulate that too.” I am fuming, and it all came out in a low deep grizzly voice.