Kane

by Douglas, Cheryl

  I hadn’t even thought to ask about his condition. What did that say about me? “Um, I’m not sure. I can find out for you.”

  “Please.”

  “But before I do, you should probably know that I told your parents about us getting married. Brody and Riley know too.”

  She shifted slightly, groaning, and I couldn’t tell if it was because of the news I’d imparted or her physical pain. Either way, I hated to hear that sound.

  “Why? It’s over. They didn’t have to know.”

  I wanted to argue that it wasn’t over, at least not for me. But this wasn’t the time to defend myself or our relationship. “I guess the nurses were looking through your wallet when you came in so they knew who to call. Didn’t you have your phone?”

  “My battery died,” she said, her voice hoarse.

  She glanced at the water pitcher at the foot of the bed, and I jumped up to pour some into the plastic glass, hoping she was allowed to have fluids so soon after surgery.

  “This okay?” I asked. After she nodded, I held the back of her head so she could take a sip. I couldn’t help but kiss her forehead after fluffing her pillow. “I was so scared when Brody told me what happened.”

  “I’m going to be fine,” she said, tearing her gaze from mine.

  Sitting back down beside her, I said, “So about your family knowing about us…”

  “There is no us.”

  Dammit. It hurt like hell to hear her say that, to know she’d taken me at my word and had decided to shut me out, even after all she’d been through.

  A doctor in a white coat entered the room. “Oh, hello. I didn’t realize you had company. I just wanted to check in on you, see how you’re feeling.”

  I stood, offering the doctor my hand. “Kane Steele. Macy’s husband.”

  “It’s nice to meet you.” He smiled at Macy. “I guess I don’t have to tell you how lucky you were today, young lady. Someone must have been watching out for you.”

  Offering him a tight smile, Macy said, “Can you tell me about the condition of the other passenger… Brendan?”

  “I’m afraid not,” the doctor said, glancing at me. “He’s not my patient.”

  And even if he were, he wouldn’t be at liberty to give us an update on his condition, I suspected. “Doctor, how long will Macy be in the hospital?”

  “Anxious to get her home so you can take care of her there?”

  “Yes.”

  Macy gave me a curious look but kept her mouth shut.

  “We’ll be monitoring your wife’s condition for the next twenty-four hours, Mr. Steele. If all goes well, she’ll be able to go home in about a week.” He frowned. “Will you be there to take care of her? She’ll need round-the-clock care for the first few weeks, and additional care, perhaps in the form of a support worker or nurse, for a few weeks after that.”

  “Sure, I can take some time off work.” I knew a private nurse had just moved in next door to my brother Gabe. I could give her a call.

  “No,” Macy said, closing her eyes, presumably trying to block out the pain. “I don’t want you to do that. I’m not your problem.”

  The doctor looked confused but simply informed us a nurse would be in to check on Macy’s vitals before he backed out of the room.

  “I don’t want your help,” she said, fighting tears. “I don’t need it.”

  Gesturing to her sheet-clad body, I said, “Well, you sure as hell need someone’s help. If not me, then who? Your mother?” I knew Mrs. Myers ran her husband’s chiropractic clinic and would probably have a hard time taking that much time off. “Riley? You know she would, but she has a business to run and a wedding to plan. Unless you want them to postpone the wedding so she can take care of you?”

  “No.”

  I knew that would get her, though I felt guilty for making her feel like a burden on her sister. “I can afford to take the time off work. They can’t.”

  “I don’t want your help,” she repeated, obviously fighting back tears. “I don’t want anything from you.”

  “The last thing I want is to get you upset right now. But here’s the deal,” I said, crossing my arms. “You can come home with me, or go home with your mother and let her fuss and hover.” As strong-willed and free-spirited as Macy was, she would hate that.

  “Why are you doing this?” she whispered, looking at me. “You don’t want me. You said so yourself.”

  I swallowed the lump in my throat, wishing I could hit the rewind button and erase that damn conversation from her memory. After almost losing her today, I didn’t want to hold back anymore. “I never said I didn’t want you. I was afraid of wanting you too much, of needing you—that was the problem.”

  “I can’t do this now,” she said, her eyes drifting closed. “Please. I’m tired. I need to sleep.”

  Chapter Ten

  Macy

  After four solid days of being fussed over, I was ready to scream. Kane was right. I would never survive my mother’s hovering.

  She fixed the blankets, tucking them in around me as though she feared I’d fall out of bed without them. “There we go.” She smiled as she patted my forearm. “How’s that?”

  Reminding myself that she was trying to help in the only way she knew how, I said, “Fine,” through clenched teeth. “But why don’t you go back to the hotel and get some sleep now? You’ve been here practically day and night since the accident.” And you’re driving me bat-shit crazy!

  “Where else would I be?” she asked, stroking my forehead. “You’re my baby. You nearly lost your life. You need me.”

  What I needed was a shot of patience and maybe a fifth of whisky. “Mom, I know you and Dad were worried, but I’m fine now. You can relax. In fact, if you want to head home, I understand. Dad has patients who need him.”

  “Nonsense,” she said, fluffing her hair. “We’re staying right here until you’re released.”

  Great. “Whatever you want.”

  “I didn’t want to bring this up earlier because I was worried about upsetting you, but now that you’re on the mend, perhaps you can explain what you were thinking, marrying that man. I know he’s Brody’s brother, but honestly, he’s domineering and opinionated and, quite frankly, rude.”

  My lips twitched as I thought about how easily Kane had handled my parents, letting them know in no uncertain terms that he was taking me to his home to recuperate whether they liked it or not.

  “Funny, those are the qualities that drew me to Kane in the first place.” I knew that would get my mother all riled up. She’d always wanted me to find a nice man, someone safe, responsible, respectable, and… boring. When she clucked her tongue in disapproval, I said, “Given what he does for a living, you can’t expect him to be a pushover. He needs to be tough.”

  “At least you’d be safe with him,” she said, reaching into her purse and pulling out a nail file. “I guess that’s something.”

  I’d never felt the need for protection before, but as I replayed Brendan’s final words before the crash, I was glad I’d be staying with a man who owned a gun and wasn’t afraid to use it.

  “He has real feelings for you, you know,” my mother said, looking at me. “I know he claims you got married to get Brendan off your back, but I don’t believe that for a second. He’s in love with you.”

  I stared at her, wondering if I should ask the doctor to check her out while she was here. Clearly she needed some powerful meds of her own, because she was delusional. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. Kane and I were friends when we got married. Now we’re… not even that.” It pained me to say that, because losing his friendship seemed a high price to pay for a few really hot nights between the sheets.

  “If you were just friends, it would be easier to have the marriage annulled. Of course, you still can—have it annulled, that is. We called our lawyer, and since it happened while you were at your sister’s bachelorette party, we assume you were drinking? If you were under the influence when you
married him—”

  “Hold up,” I said, wondering how many more minutes I would have to wait before the nurse came in to administer my meds. Anything to help me escape this lunacy. “If I want to have it annulled, I’ll contact my own lawyer. When and how we decide to terminate our marriage is up to me and Kane, not you and Dad.”

  My mother patted my cheek. “I can see you’re getting back to your feisty self. Look at you, even getting flushed. Is it because we know you had sex with him?” she asked, leaning in to whisper the word.

  I sputtered before coughing, which hurt like hell, thanks to my incision. “How do you even know that?”

  “He implied it when your sister suggested an annulment,” she said, raising a shoulder. “He obviously didn’t appreciate being put on the spot like that, but he didn’t shy away from the truth either. Admirable, I suppose.”

  Given all the negative things she’d had to say about Kane earlier, I couldn’t help but wonder why she was changing her tune now. Unless… “You’re not expecting me to stay in Tampa permanently, are you? With Kane?” Although the thought of returning to Nashville after what had happened with Brendan sent chills racing up my spine, I knew I would overcome the fear eventually.

  “Would that be so terrible?” she asked, picking an invisible piece of lint off my blanket. “I mean, I know the man can be difficult, but I have to assume you like that or you wouldn’t have married him.”

  “You know why I married him.” While closing my eyes, I reminded myself to take deep breaths. I practiced deep breathing with my vocal coach, but it came in handy when dealing with my mother too. “I couldn’t walk away from my partnership with Brendan without hurting my career.”

  “I’ll never understand you,” she said, shaking her head. “You make enough money from residuals to support yourself. Why can’t that be enough?”

  Story of my parents’ life. Reside in the comfort zone. Never step outside of the box.

  “I’ve already explained to you, dozens of times, that I want more than that. I love music. Making music, performing, recording, all of it. I’m not saying I’m not grateful some major recording artists have cut our songs, but I don’t want to settle for that. Why can’t you understand that and support me?”

  She stared at me as though she was hearing my argument for the first time. “I just worry about you, honey.” She sighed. “I want you to have some stability in your life. A good man and a family. What if you spend half your life chasing your dream and wind up with nothing to show for it?”

  I had considered that possibility before, but my near brush with death made her words feel more poignant. “I know that’s a risk. But so is a life half-lived, Mom.” I reached for her hand. “You know how many people never chase their dreams and die with a long list of regrets? I don’t want that to be me.”

  “I know, but—”

  “I’d rather try and fail than be too afraid to try at all.”

  Her eyes scanned my face before filling with tears. “I’ve always admired that about you, you know.”

  “You have?” I couldn’t have been more shocked that my mother actually appreciated my wanderlust.

  “My mother raised me the way I tried to raise you girls,” she said before clearing her throat. “Get a good education, find a nice man, have a couple of kids, and plan for your retirement and grandbabies.”

  “Didn’t you ever want more?” I asked gently. I’d always wondered if my mother was content with her life, but I’d never felt comfortable asking.

  “I used to,” she said, shaking her head. “I loved to paint when I was younger. Then my kids came along, and I didn’t seem to have time for it anymore.” She smiled, patting my hand. “Then I started helping your father with his business, and that just seemed more important.”

  “Why was his dream more important than yours?”

  She cleared her throat. “It put food on the table, for one. Paid the bills. My art probably never would have done that.”

  “But you deserve to do the things that make you happy. You know that, right?”

  “Sure.” She nodded. “Maybe someday.”

  “Mom, if this accident taught me anything, it’s that someday isn’t guaranteed. Go after what you want now. Today.” I nodded at my cell phone, which was sitting on the side table, now fully charged thanks to my sister. “Look into some art classes.”

  “Maybe,” she said, looking longingly at the phone. “When we get you well.”

  “Don’t use my recovery as an excuse to put your life on hold. Do it now.”

  “Your brother called this morning,” she said, obviously trying to change the subject. “He hates that he isn’t able to be here for you.”

  “He’s in Africa, for crying out loud. I’m surprised you were able to get a message to him at all.” My brother and his family had been looking forward to their African safari for months. I would have felt terrible if my accident had interrupted their plans.

  “He says he’ll come visit just as soon as he gets home.”

  “He doesn’t have to do that. I know how busy he is with work.”

  My older brother was a dentist with a busy practice, and he asserted there was a reason his profession claimed the highest suicide rate. He’d done exactly what my parents wanted him to: worked hard in school, gotten a scholarship to an Ivy League school, became a professional, married a nice girl, and had two kids. Now he worked sixty hours a week and lived for the adventure his vacations provided. Because he’d made the mistake of trying to live someone else’s life.

  “Nonsense, he wants to see you with his own eyes, to make sure you’re okay. He was pretty shocked when we told him about your marriage. Did you know he and Kane went to high school together?”

  Great. “No, I didn’t know that. Kane never mentioned it.” There was probably a good reason they hadn’t been friends back then, and I’d hear all about it when my brother came to visit.

  “Hey,” my sister said, tapping her knuckles on the door as she poked her head in. “Can I come in?”

  “Of course.” Riley had been acting as the mediator between Kane and my parents since the accident, and I owed her. Big time.

  “Well, now that your sister is here, maybe I’ll just go grab a quick bite to eat.”

  “Sure, take your time,” I said, smiling. I mean that. Really. Take all the time you want. Three days would be good.

  Riley smiled indulgently when our mother kissed her cheek as she walked past.

  “Ugh,” I said, rolling my eyes. “Why won’t they just go home already? I love them, but they’re driving me crazy.”

  “They’re worried about you,” Riley said, taking the seat our mother had vacated. “Must be nice to be out of the ICU, huh? Now you have your own private room with all the perks.” She gestured to the TV mounted to the wall in the corner. “It’ll help to pass the time ‘til they spring you.”

  “I still can’t believe Kane’s insurance is paying for all this.” I couldn’t help but feel guilty since I wasn’t even sure we’d still be married this time next month.

  “One of the perks of putting your life on the line, I guess. A great benefits package.” Riley laughed lightly.

  My sister had practiced incredible restraint not asking me about my marriage to Kane, but I knew she was dying to, so I said, “You must have a lot of questions… about me and Kane.”

  “Just one really. Do you love him?”

  Oh, wow. That was not the question I’d been expecting. I shifted, trying to find a more comfortable spot, and I felt pain shoot through me. Must be time for the meds soon. “No.”

  “Are you sure? You said yourself you’ve had a thing for him for a long time.”

  “There’s a big difference between having an adolescent crush and being in love with someone.” It felt wrong to minimize what I felt for Kane, but I didn’t want him to feel even more obligated to me because my feelings ran deeper than his.

  “Right.” Riley tipped her head back as she studied me. �
�And you know that because what you felt for Brendan was real?”

  My heartrate increased every time I thought of my ex. I’d learned he’d suffered several broken bones and a concussion from the accident, but he’d been released from the hospital yesterday. He hadn’t tried to see me before he left, not that I was surprised. He was probably just happy to be walking away a free man.

  “I thought so at the time.” Now I knew I could never have loved a man like Brendan. “Now I’m not so sure.”

  “Sis, did something happen between you two before the accident?”

  Oh God, I did not want to have this conversation. Thankfully, Kane’s timing was perfect.

  “Oh, hey,” he said to Riley. “I didn’t know you were in here. I can come back later.”

  “No, that’s okay,” Riley said, reaching for her purse. “I’m going to check in with Brody.”

  I waited until my sister left the room before I said to Kane, “You shouldn’t be here. You should be at work, where you’re needed.” I winced when I realized how harsh that sounded. “I’m sorry, it’s not that I’m not grateful, but—”

  “You just wish everyone would leave you alone, huh?” he asked, standing at the foot of the bed, a smile teasing his lips. He looked so handsome in black jeans, a black and gray shirt, and a black bomber jacket, making me painfully aware of the fact I hadn’t had a real shower since before the accident.

  “Something like that.”

  “How’re you feeling today?”

  “Better,” I said. “The pain is still there, obviously, but the meds help a lot.”

  “Good, I’m glad.” He looked me in the eye. “It kills me to think of you in pain.”

  I knew we weren’t talking about the physical pain anymore. We hadn’t discussed what had happened between us before the accident since he’d tried and I shut him down. I knew I couldn’t continue to do that. Kane was nothing if not determined.

  “I shouldn’t have waited until the accident to tell everyone we got married.”

  “We agreed that was the safest approach,” I said, wishing he weren’t looking at me so intently. I glanced at the muted TV screen when another episode of Friends came on. “Especially since we didn’t know where things were going.”