Kane

by Douglas, Cheryl

  “You think I’d be here if I didn’t care?” I asked, unwilling to admit the truth. “Of course I care. That’s why I’m asking you to try to talk some sense into her.”

  “Why don’t you?” Riley asked. “You are her husband.”

  “Not for much longer, I’m sure.” Riley looked disappointed, but I refused to be branded the bad guy. “She doesn’t want a real relationship with me. If she did, she would have been honest with me. I’m sorry, but that’s a deal breaker for me.”

  “Surprised you don’t get a nose bleed way up there,” Riley muttered, crossing her arms.

  “Excuse me?”

  She raised her chin in defiance. “I’ve known you a long time, and I’ve never known you to be such a sanctimonious ass.”

  “So you think what she did is right?” I asked, glaring at her. “You can honestly tell me that I’m in the wrong here?”

  “No,” she said, her voice softening. “You’re right to be hurt and upset. I would be too in your position. But you’re dead wrong to walk away from her because of it. Macy made a mistake. Don’t we all, from time to time?”

  “She’s right about that,” Brody said with a wry smile. “We sure as hell can’t claim to be perfect, man.”

  “I never said I was perfect.” Deep breath in through the nose, out through the mouth. “I said I was honest. I don’t have a problem with Macy making mistakes. But I do have a problem with her lying to me, keeping secrets from me, and trying to protect a man she claims she doesn’t love anymore.”

  “That’s what this is about, isn’t it?” Riley challenged, looking smug. “You’re jealous because you think she still has feelings for Brendan.”

  Yes. “No. I’m mad as hell that she would put her life in jeopardy by allowing a man who should be behind bars to walk free just because they have some history.”

  “Is that what she told you?” Riley asked, her eyes locked on mine. “That she didn’t want Brendan to go to jail because of their past? Did it ever occur to you he might need help?”

  I rolled my eyes. “Every criminal needs help, Riley. If they didn’t, they wouldn’t commit crimes in the first place. Believe me, he can get all the help he needs behind bars. They have shrinks in prison, you know.”

  “You think like a cop,” Riley argued. “I get that. You’ve seen things the rest of us haven’t, and that’s changed your perspective. But as tough as Macy might seem, she’s really a softie when it comes to the people she cares about.”

  “Then you admit she still cares about him?”

  “As a person,” Riley argued. “She worked with him, lived with him, traveled with him. They were planning a future together. And now she sees that he’s in real trouble. What kind of person would she be if she didn’t have an ounce of compassion for him?”

  “The fact remains that she didn’t feel she could trust me.” I gestured between Riley and Brody. “I don’t have to tell you two that you can’t have a relationship without trust.”

  “You have to admit there are extenuating circumstances here, Kane,” Brody said. “Macy almost died. Maybe she just wasn’t thinking clearly. Or maybe she needed time to think things through. Just because she hadn’t told you yet doesn’t mean she wasn’t planning to.”

  “When? When he came after her again to finish what he started?” That she’d been in danger and I’d been clueless was the hardest pill to swallow. I’d made it my life’s work to protect people, but I hadn’t been able to protect my own wife.

  “Are you blaming yourself?” Brody asked when I rounded the chair and sank into it. “Is that what this is about?”

  I dropped my head into my hands. “I should have told her to stay the hell away from him. I should have seen the signs. I met the guy. I could tell he was still obsessed with her. Hell, if he wasn’t, we wouldn’t even be married right now.”

  “Then maybe you should thank him.” Riley bit her lip when my head snapped up. “Sorry,” she said, raising her hands. “Bad joke.”

  “I shouldn’t have left her alone in Nashville.” As angry as I was with her, the fact that she was alone in the same city as the guy who’d already tried to take her life and knew exactly where to find her made me feel like an idiot.

  “So why did you?” Riley asked.

  “I was pissed. I still am.”

  “But you’re also worried about her,” Brody said. “I’d feel the same way if I were in your shoes.”

  At least someone understood.

  “Call her for me?” I asked Riley. “Just make sure she’s okay. Find out when she’ll be home.”

  Riley rolled her eyes. “What is this, junior high? Why don’t you call her yourself?”

  “I need more time to think, to figure out where we go from here.”

  Looking sympathetic, Riley rested her hand on my knee. “For what it’s worth, I know my sister loves you. Not because of some silly adolescent crush, but because you’re the man she’s been waiting her whole life for.”

  I offered her a reluctant smile. Maybe Macy and I could get through this, if I could figure out her motive for lying to me and trust it wouldn’t happen again.

  “Excuse me,” Riley said, standing. “The phone’s in the other room. I’ll make that call now.”

  Brody waited until Riley had left the room before he asked, “What’re you gonna do now?”

  “I don’t know,” I said, swiping my hands over my face. “I think I’m still in shock, to be honest with you. I can’t believe he tried to kill her.”

  “I think you showed a hell of a lot of restraint in not killing him.”

  I huffed. “I didn’t even take a swing at him. I just let him walk. What the hell was I thinking?”

  “That trying to salvage your marriage was more important than getting a pound of flesh?”

  “The thing is…” I shook my head. “Macy and I were finally in a really good place. We were building something solid. I could see a future with her.”

  “And now you can’t?”

  “I don’t know.” Looking him in the eye, I asked, “If Riley had lied to you about something this big, would you have been able to forgive her?”

  “That depends,” Brody said, crossing his arms. “If it had happened early on in our relationship, when we were still feeling each other out, probably not. If it happened now, I’m not so sure.”

  “So you don’t think Macy and I have enough history for me to expect her to be honest with me?” I didn’t want to have to earn her honesty any more than I would expect her to earn mine. As far as I was concerned, it should be a given.

  “That’s not what I’m saying,” Brody said, rubbing the scruff on his jaw. “But you guys are just getting to know each other, man. I know how you feel about her, but your relationship is still really new. It’s going to take time to work out all the kinks.”

  “So you think I’m overreacting?” That’s something I’d never been accused of. I was always the calm and steady one. “That I shouldn’t have walked out on her?”

  “I don’t think that was such a bad idea. It gave both of you a chance to cool off, to think about what comes next. You want my opinion?” When I nodded, Brody said, “Go home. Sleep on it. Talk to her when she gets back. By then, you’ll both have had some time to think it through.”

  “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

  “You wanna beer?” Brody asked just as Riley walked out of the office.

  Without answering my brother, I looked at Riley. “She okay?”

  “Yeah,” Riley said, touching my shoulder. “She’s fine. She feels terrible about what happened, but she totally understands why you left. She said she probably would have done the same thing in your position.”

  “I don’t feel good about her being there alone. Maybe she should ask her neighbor to spend the night.”

  “No need,” Riley said. “She’s already on her way back.”

  Glancing at my watch, I realized it was close to nine. “I don’t want her driving all night to get bac
k here.”

  “She won’t,” Riley assured me. “She’s been on the road a couple of hours already. She said when she gets tired, she’ll get a room somewhere.”

  At least my pickup had a cap, so her boxes would be safe and dry. “Did she, uh, say if she had a hard time packing up by herself?” The more I thought about it, the worse I felt for leaving her high and dry.

  “She decided just to bring the necessities back with her,” Riley said, sharing a look with Brody. “She’s going to put the rest in storage for now.”

  “Why? She’s having second thoughts about moving back here?” I didn’t know why I was surprised. I’d had second, third, and fourth thoughts about us on the flight.

  “I’m not sure,” Riley said. “You’ll have to talk to her about that.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  Macy

  Given what I’d done, I didn’t think it was fair of me to show up on Kane’s doorstep and expect him to welcome me with open arms, so I’d asked Brody to return the truck to him instead.

  My father was helping me unpack the few boxes and suitcases I’d brought with me when he said, “I’m kind of surprised you’d want to stay here instead of with your husband. Is there a problem?”

  Even though my father had a tendency to be judgmental and self-righteous, I knew his heart was in the right place. He only wanted the best for his daughters. “I made a mistake, Dad. A big one.”

  “You want to tell me about it?” he asked, carrying my last suitcase upstairs to my old bedroom.

  “I didn’t tell Kane something he deserved to know.” I knew my parents would go ballistic when they learned the accident wasn’t an accident at all, and like my husband, they deserved to know.

  The long drive back had helped me put things in perspective. I was tired of covering for Brendan, tired of trying to keep the truth from the people I loved. That accident and the motive behind it had left me shaken, and it would be a long time before I got over it. I’d need the love and support of my family, and hopefully Kane, to get through it.

  “He thinks I lied to him.” I sat on the edge of my old double bed, watching my father stack my suitcase next to the other two he’d hauled up earlier.

  “Did you?” He pulled out the chair at the little corner desk and turned it to face me before he sat down.

  “I let him believe the car crash was an accident. It wasn’t. Brendan purposely drove off the road. He was trying to kill us both.”

  Dad inhaled deeply, the color draining from his face. “My God, you know it was intentional? He literally veered off the road?” When I nodded, he asked, “Did he say anything to you before…?”

  “He made it clear that if I couldn’t be happy with him, I wouldn’t have the chance to find happiness with anyone else.” I closed my eyes, vividly remembering his words. “He said I’d ruined his career and his life, that I was getting what I deserved.”

  “I never would’ve thought he was capable of something like that,” my father said, staring at me in disbelief. “He seemed like a nice, level-headed guy. I really believed he loved you.”

  “I did too.” And what did that say about my judgment? “I’m not even sure he knows what love is.”

  I stared at the old posters on my bedroom walls, an eclectic mix of rock, pop, and country that included NSYNC and Shania Twain. As a teenager, I’d wanted to grow up and be Shania, but I wanted to date Justin Timberlake.

  My father’s eyes followed my gaze. “I was so scared for you when you told me you wanted to be a musician.”

  I was surprised he’d changed the subject. I’d expected him to continue pressing me for information about Brendan or demand we drive straight to the police station and insist they contact the Nashville police to have him hauled in.

  “Why were you afraid for me?” I asked gently. “It’s not like I told you I wanted to do something dangerous like become a firefighter or… a cop.” I thought of Kane and the risks he took in the name of public safety every day.

  “Maybe you weren’t putting your life on the line, but you were putting your heart on the line, and sometimes that’s even scarier.” I smiled when he inched his chair closer and reached for my hand. “I knew the odds were stacked against you. I’m sure you knew that too. But I was so proud of you for going after what you wanted.”

  “Really?” My father had never told me he was proud of me. Not once. “I always thought you were disappointed in me for not going to college.”

  “As a parent, all I want is for my kids to be happy.” He squeezed my hand before releasing it. “Music made you happy, so who was I to stand in your way? I know you’ll always love music”—he crossed his arms—“but it seems to me there’s another love in your life now.”

  “You mean Kane.”

  “Yeah. How are the two meshing?”

  “Fine, I guess.” Things had been going perfectly until the ugly truth got in the way. “I’d decided to stay on here and work on writing music for a while, see where that takes me.”

  “While working on your marriage?”

  “That was the plan,” I said, twisting the band on my finger. “Until Kane found out about what happened with Brendan.”

  “I don’t understand why you were keeping that from him… or us, for that matter.”

  “I knew you’d pressure me to go to the authorities, and I guess I think Brendan needs help, not to be locked away in some prison cell.”

  “Did you try telling Kane that?”

  “I didn’t have a chance.” I reached for one of the white eyelet throw cushions on the bed and hugged it. “He was so angry when he found out what happened, he left. I haven’t seen or heard from him since.”

  “Which explains what you’re doing here,” he said, gesturing toward the bed. “But is this where you really want to be, sweetheart?”

  “I want to be with my husband,” I said, glancing at the bulletin board above the desk. There were dozens of photos pinned to it from my high school days—parties, proms, sporting events—but the one that made me smile was me holding my first guitar. I looked so serious, as if at fifteen, I had the meaning of life figured out. “But I’m not sure he wants me anymore.”

  The doorbell rang, and we heard my mother cross the creaky wooden floor to answer it. There were muted voices, including the deep timbre of a man’s voice, before my mother called up to tell me Kane was here to see me.

  The deer in the headlights look must have been frozen on my face, because my father chuckled as he stood and patted my shoulder. “I’m sure it won’t be as bad as you think, Macy. I’ll send him up.”

  I took a few deep breaths, forcing myself to calm down and expect the best possible outcome. He’d said he loved me, that he wanted to build a life with me. Surely one mistake on my part wouldn’t have been enough to change his feelings.

  Who the hell was I kidding? I dropped my head into my upturned palm. As far as mistakes went, mine was a doozy.

  “Hey,” he said, standing in the half-open door. “Your dad said I could come up. You mind?”

  “No, of course not.” I tossed the pillow aside, gesturing for him to enter. “Come in. Close the door.”

  My bedroom had seemed an average size until he stepped into it. Now it felt barely big enough for two, especially when one of the two was still radiating anger.

  “You mind telling me why the hell my brother brought my truck back to me?” he asked, leaning against the closed door, his arms folded.

  “I wasn’t sure you’d be ready to see me,” I said, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear. “I wanted to give you a little more time to process what happened before we talked.”

  His eyes landed on the nightstands on either side of the bed, both cluttered with framed photos of a much younger me. “I remember that girl,” he said, his voice husky. “I never imagined then I’d fall in love with her.”

  I held my breath, wondering if he’d tell me it had been a mistake, that he now wished he’d never let himself fall for me. “That girl?�
�� I picked up a photo of me at my senior prom and held it up for him to see. “She would have given anything for you to be the one to take her to prom.”

  Half of his lips tilted up in a sexy smirk as he shook his head. “I would have been, what, about twenty-five then? Your dad would have come after me with a shotgun. Not to mention the fact that having sex with you would have been illegal and I was an officer of the law.”

  “But there’s nothing to keep us apart now.” When he didn’t agree I asked, “Is there?”

  He swallowed, staring at me intently. “I need to be able to trust you. I need you to trust me. That’s the only way this can work.”

  “I know.”

  “Do you?”

  I nodded, feeling the weight of guilt for not making better choices when I had the chance. “I can’t go back and change what I did, but I can promise you nothing like that will ever happen again. From now on, I’ll share everything with you: the good, the bad, and the ugly.”

  “I’m not asking you to share every little thing with me, Mace. You have a right to your privacy. But when it’s something this big, something that could have cost you your life, I think I have a right to know.”

  “You’re right.” I had no defense. My only hope was that he would give me a pass for being human and making a bad judgment call.

  “Just tell me why you did it. The truth.”

  “The truth?” I leaned back on my hands, running my toe over the carpet in a figure-eight pattern. “I guess I felt sorry for him. He has no one, Kane. You have your brothers, their wives and girlfriends, your friends on the force. He had me. No one else really.”

  “I get that you’re a compassionate woman, but the guy tried to kill you.”

  “I know it doesn’t make any sense.” I closed my eyes, remembering those last few minutes before the car rolled. I’d been so sure my life was over. When I woke up in a hospital bed and realized I’d been spared, I vowed to make my life count for something. “But I have to forgive him. For my sake, not for his. I don’t want to carry the weight of hatred around in my heart forever. I’d much rather focus on loving you than on hating him.”