Some and the Flame

by Michelle, Christine

  The asshole ignored me and turned his full attention on Poppy. “I wouldn’t care,” he pleaded with her. The fucker was seriously begging to get hit.

  Poppy laughed at him again. “Yes, you would. The thing is, that part doesn’t even matter, because I’m happy right now. I wasn’t before. I meant it when I said I wasn’t willing to go backwards for anyone, Walk. Not even you.”

  “Poppy, I promise you I’ll get it right this time,” he pleaded. I felt my woman squirm beneath my fingers, and for a brief second, I wondered if she was giving in to him, but I chose to trust in her and see where this went just like Surfer had suggested moments ago.

  “How long, Walk?” She asked him point blank.

  The confused frown on his face meant he was just as stupid as I thought he was. “What do you mean? How long? I plan on loving you forever, just like I said when we got married.”

  “No, how long were you fucking other people?” She asked, and while I felt the subtle flinch in her muscles as she asked the question, I don’t think she showed any outward sign of how much it hurt to ask that question. Hell, I didn’t think she really needed to the know the answer, but I knew she was trying to prove a point to him, even if it ended up hurting her in the end.

  Walker looked like he was about to shit himself as he stared at her, face going pale. He fidgeted with the edges of his kutte briefly before he couldn’t look her in the eye any longer.

  “You won’t even answer her?” I finally asked, calling the bastard out on his cowardice. “You can’t come clean, but you expect her to believe you care enough to stick with her now?” I continued, knowing I was goading him into answering even as I did it.

  “Four years,” he spat out at me, clearly forgetting for a minute that Poppy was standing there as she sucked in a gasp at the truth he was admitting to. Then his guilty eyes travelled back down to hers. I knew she had mentioned they were trying for nearly five years to have a baby so that had to have been a tough blow for her to take. That meant he was fucking around nearly the entire time they’d been trying. I never wanted to knock a mother fucker out more than I did in that moment.

  “We were trying to have a baby then, and you were off fucking other people?” She asked, incredulously as she stared him down.

  “Sex was becoming a chore with you, Pop. It was so important to get the baby as a result, but there was no fun in it anymore, because it was like going to work. You know? Something you have to do and not necessarily something you like doing.”

  What a douchebag. There was no way sex with Poppy could ever be considered a chore. Hell, I’d have made it my life’s mission to try every position possible, and damn near fuck her to death until she had my kid inside of her if that was what she wanted. This asshole didn’t deserve her, and hell, maybe he knew that too. The problem had been he was too much of a fucking pussy to let her go to someone who did.

  “You do realize that you having sex with other people was probably why you kept failing to get me pregnant in the first place, so you literally perpetuated your own problem and made the situation worse?”

  “I didn’t,” he started to say, and we watched as what he’d done started sinking in. I never had an infertility issue before, but from what Poppy had talked about, storing up the baby batter for a person with a low sperm count was key to successfully making a baby happen. If he’d been out there fucking around all that time, he was blowing off any chances they could have had.

  I scoffed at that thought but spoke the rest out loud for him to hear. “Like I said, you’re an idiot.”

  “Well, I think we’re done here,” Poppy finally stated before turning around and patting me to let her go. I did, because I knew she probably needed a bit of space just then.

  “Poppy,” Walker called out to her once more, sounding more desperate than ever and clearly realizing there was no going back from that. I let Poppy go and stood between him and her retreating back.

  “No! If you hadn’t fucked up bad enough before, you have to know that there’s no coming back from that. You don’t come back from that kind of bullshit with a woman like Poppy.”

  “She’s only walking away out of obligation since you fucking knocked her up. We have a love that lasts a lifetime.” He sounded so sure of himself that I just had to laugh.

  “Like I said, you’re an idiot. You may have had a love that would last a lifetime if you’d cherished it, nurtured it, and not fucked around on it. You had to know she wouldn’t put up with that shit. You knew what you were doing. Not only were you betraying her, but you were single-handedly ensuring that her dream never came true. She may have loved you at one time, but you never could have loved her. That’s not something you do to someone you love. You don’t shit on their dreams while betraying them and expect that they’ll still be there to make you feel better about yourself. You fucked up, brother.” I spat the last word out at him because I definitely didn’t feel a club obligation to the bastard. “You fucked up, and now you get to spend the rest of your life living with that decision. What you don’t get to do is try to force yourself back on the woman after you broke every bit of love she had for you. You did that. Got no one to blame but yourself.” I started walking away before I turned back to look at the sorry bastard one more time. “She’s mine now, and I’m not stupid, fucker. She ain’t never coming back to you.”

  “Just wait, you’ll screw up too, because she’s too damn perfect for any of us,” he muttered.

  “No, she was just too perfect for you since you couldn’t see what you had. Now, tuck your tail and go home.” I turned and went left the way Poppy and Chief had gone earlier only to walk in to the middle of their conversation.

  “…tell Smoke first, but every time I tried something happened. I found out when I got home from Pittsburg, and then everything happened with Smoke’s family.”

  “Jesus, talk about bad timing.”

  “Exactly. Then every time I’ve attempted to tell him he’s had to run off or something has happened to make me put it on the back burner,” she managed to tell her brother.

  “We’re going to talk about that when we get somewhere private,” I told her without announcing my presence in any other way.

  “Smoke,” she tried to chime in, but I didn’t let her. Too much of our personal shit had been played out for the club before we were even able to discuss it. I just wanted to get her home and fucking chill with my family while we discussed what our future was going to look like. Not that I needed a conversation to know that I wanted our future to be together.

  “Let’s get Brantley, and get back to your house before we talk about anything else, okay?”

  “Okay,” she agreed. Then she smiled so sweetly at me that it took everything I had in me not to just strip her down right there and show her how much she belonged to me.

  I held out my hand to her, but just as we were about to leave, Ghost came in and eyed me. “A minute before you go?”

  “Shit,” I nodded and shook my head as I looked at Poppy who was clearly disappointed by the change of plans.

  “He won’t be but a few minutes behind you darlin’,” Ghost told her. She smiled and then left while Chief stood there glaring at both Ghost and I. I couldn’t say that I blamed him.

  Once Poppy had cleared the room, Chief moved up into my face and pointed a finger at me. “Don’t fuck up. Remember our little chat and make sure you actually get home to her tonight.” He turned a glare on Ghost. “No matter what he has to say. The man should know better than to distract you right this minute after the bomb that was just dropped out there.”

  Ghost at least had the good sense to look guilty. “What’s going on?”

  “I just,” he started, then ran his fingers through his dirty blond hair he’d recently trimmed. “Shit. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have stopped you. It can wait. I wanted to make sure you were okay, and knew that you have Cedar Falls support with what’s happening between you and Poppy. I know it’s not ideal when another brother steps i
n and picks up a woman who was already claimed by someone else in the club, but I needed you to know that we all support you. This isn’t a normal situation, and we all know that the two of you belong together and that little fucker treated her like second-hand shit. Besides, it’s her opinion that I’m factoring here, and she made it pretty clear out there. I just wanted you to know that I’ve already put the call in to Sweet and let him know where his man really went.”

  “I appreciate all of that.”

  The guilty look swamped his face again before he managed to look up at me once more. “I think you should take some time and spend it with your family. That dynamic has changed quite a bit in the past week alone, and this hunt that we’re on is already taking its toll. Hell, we all heard Poppy, and saw your reaction. You didn’t know before she got pissed enough to blurt it out.” I started to interrupt him, but he staved off my words. “I know better than anyone how fleeting our time with our families can be and the precarious rope they sometimes rest on. Don’t make the mistakes I did. Don’t make your own, equally devastating, ones either. You told Walker out there that you aren’t stupid. Prove it. Take some time and be with your woman.”

  “What if me taking my time to be with her means we let someone slip through the cracks and they come for her next?” Ghost winced at that question. “Our time isn’t a given, but I can damn sure work to prolong it. She knows why it’s important, and the quicker we get this done, the easier our lives will be. I appreciate the sentiment and you looking out for us, but I can’t just step back and not take these fuckers out when we find them.”

  “I figured you’d say that,” he huffed out in frustration. “Hell, I can’t preach it, because I wouldn’t step back either. Bender was my brother. Soph and little man were family too.” He shook his head and I watched as the man’s eyes misted over. “We’ll do whatever it takes to see those fuckers pay for taking them from us. Now, go on and get out of here before your woman gets pissed at me.” He grinned up at me as he casually wiped at the moisture that threatened to spill out of his eyes and give his emotions away. “I’m a little terrified of her, truth be told.” He grinned up at me then.

  “As we all should be. Walker was right about one thing, she’s too good for any of us, but damn if I’m the idiot who will walk away.” Nothing more needed to be said so it was time to get my ass back to Poppy’s house and relieve whichever prospect had been charged with following her when she walked out the door.

  When I made it back to Poppy’s place, I watched through the window at first as she laughed at something Brantley had said. Brant was lying beside Bubba on the floor playing with his blocks while the dog looked happy to just be watching as the little boy knocked down whatever he’d been building and squealed with glee. It brought everything home for me. That one little picture of life without me in it. They could be happy. They could move on and forget that I was supposed to be there. Not that I thought they wanted to, but the thing was, the assholes who were responsible for killing my family needed to be brought down and soon. I needed it behind me, so I didn’t miss any more of these moments than I had to for my day job. I needed them gone because nothing was going to threaten the happiness of the people inside these walls. Resolving myself to the fact that I’d have to sacrifice a little more time from them now to make that happen, I knew the hard sell would be to Poppy once I got inside. I also knew it was time to start house hunting. We couldn’t all fit in Poppy’s place, and the apartment I had was not exactly pet friendly for a massive dog like Bubba.

  Letting myself in using the key Poppy had given me, it only took a second before Brantley was calling out to me.

  “Unc Moke, wook what I made.”

  “That’s really cool, little man!” I leaned down and kissed Brant’s head as he smiled his crooked grin at me. Then I flipped his hair and moved toward Poppy. She sat there waiting, and I could see the tension in her shoulders, the worry in her eyes, with each step. That’s when I decided direct and to the point was the way I’d need to go with her.

  “I get that I have failed to make myself clear with you,” I started and watched as the worry grew.

  “I thought I was clear, but according to your brother, you’re still confused so I’m going to lay it out for you and I need you to hear me.” She made the smallest movement of her chin to let me know that I could go on and she was listening. So I did. “I’m with you. Only you. I don’t want anyone else, Poppy. I am committed and I honestly don’t know how else to say that except that I thought it was straight forward that you were my old lady.” Her shocked breath told me I hadn’t been clear enough before. What the hell did she think I was playing at all this time? The ridiculous friends with benefits notion she had brought up that first day?

  “Don’t care that you’re still married to some other fool who was too stupid to hang onto the best thing he’d ever get.” I scoffed at the memory of my club brother and the fact he had been idiot enough to allow a woman like her to be neglected until the point she no longer loved him. “Better than he deserved, the idiot. You’re my old lady, I don’t see you any other way.”

  “Sophie told me you never told anyone that Julie was your old lady. I just thought,” I sat beside her and gave her thigh a gentle squeeze. It was enough to stop her in her tracks.

  “Julie never was. The difference is, I’ve already told every single man in the clubhouse and the firehouse that you’re mine. They understand that. Now, I need you to understand that I should have made that perfectly clear to you. I’m sorry I didn’t do better.” She looked like she was about to cry, but I gave her a moment. Poppy needed to absorb exactly what I was telling her. Her divorce still pending didn’t matter. We weren’t playing games anymore. I wasn’t waiting any longer. I’d claimed her, and while she adjusted to the thought of us, I hadn’t remembered that she was the most important person who needed to know that.

  “Now, tell me our news, because I don’t want to think about the way I found out. I want to hear from your lips to my ears like it was meant to be.”

  “I’m so sorry about that,” she apologized. “I got so frustrated earlier, and I just blurted it out. I hadn’t even told anyone. Well, Leanne knew, but that’s because she was worried I was getting sick a lot.”

  “See, that’s something we’re going to discuss, because I feel like a real asshole right now since I didn’t know you were still even getting sick.”

  She reached for me and smoothed her soft hand down my face as if she could wipe my regrets away with a simple touch. Hell, she almost succeeded. “I didn’t want you to know.” That took the calm she’d managed to sooth into me right the fuck back away. How could she not want me to know about the fact that she’d been sick? “I didn’t want you to think there was something wrong until after I knew for sure what was going on. At the same time you had things going on with your family, and when I found out I wanted to tell you right away, but that was the day you guys walked into the clubhouse with bad news.”

  That made sense and I hated to think that our happy news got delayed because of my family’s tragedy, but really what was she supposed to do? I could see where Poppy had been stuck between a rock and a hard place with trying to tell me. I sighed heavily, frustrated with the way the last couple weeks had played out, as well as the lack of resolution. “Then I was constantly running out every time you wanted us to talk.” I reminded the both of us why she hadn’t been able to tell me since. “I really fucked that up, didn’t I?”

  “No, you didn’t. This hasn’t exactly been an easy week for anyone, but especially not for you. I understand. I’m just sorry you found out that way. I’m sorry you weren’t the first one I told, because that was how I planned on it happening. I hadn’t even told Chief, because I wanted you to know first. I guess everything just hit me all at once and I really wanted it to sink in for Walker that I am never coming back to him.”

  “You said you were happy. Earlier, when you were talking to him.”

  Her smile was co
ntagious as she answered me. “I am the happiest I’ve ever been, which makes me feel horrible at times, because this is such an incredibly inappropriate time for me to feel that way considering your loss, and Brant’s loss. I know he doesn’t really understand yet, and maybe he won’t until many years from now. Still, it’s crap timing for me to find my happiness and you to be so lost in grief and driven by revenge.”

  “Poppy, it’s not revenge driving me. I want that too, but mostly I want to make sure that you and Brant are safe, even more so now that I know it’s not just the two of you I have to worry about.” I moved closer so I could reach over and touch her belly where our child was growing. I was still in awe of the fact that I’d managed to get her pregnant, especially since it was something she’d been trying for so long with her ex. “In case I forgot to say it, I am so damn excited about this.” I leaned over further and kissed her still nonexistent baby belly. “I will take good care of all of you, I swear. I will never step out on you. I will never take you for granted. Poppy, you are everything, and if I ever don’t treat you like that’s exactly what you are, you will kick me in the ass and set me straight, because I can’t lose you. Your idiot ex still doesn’t realize. Obviously, he thinks he does, but one night soon, he’s going to be sitting there with some cheap imitation of you, he’s going to hear about how wonderful your life is, and then it’s going to click for him that he could have been part of that. I think it’s starting to set in for him now, otherwise I doubt seriously he would have offered to raise another man’s kid today.”

  “I don’t care what he’s going through. He brought it on himself.”

  “I know that, honey. I’m just saying, you and me, we are never going to get to that point, because I know exactly what I’ve got right here.” I kissed her belly once more before sitting up and facing her again. “When do you need to go see the doctor?”