Travails of a Trailing Spouse

by Stephanie Suga Chen

  She then pulled out Ashley’s application and confirmed her name, age, family members who lived with her, then asked Ashley about her past pet history, probing in detail about Ashley’s childhood dog, how old he had been when she got him, who had taken care of him, how he had died. She then asked Ashley to list the characteristics of the dog she was looking for, what expectations she had, what their lifestyle was like, and who was going to be responsible for walking and feeding the dog. She even walked around the unit, asking where the dog would sleep and eat.

  After 30 minutes of this grilling, she said the next step would be for Ashley to go down to the SCAD centre with her husband for a scheduled “bonding session” with Tucker, the name they had given the lab puppy when he was brought into the centre.

  “Why does my husband have to come along?” Ashley asked, annoyed but trying to remain congenial. Sarah imagined CS arriving shoeless and having their application denied.

  Jeslyn responded that their standard operating procedure was to have at least two family members come to assess how suitable the dog was to the family and vice versa.

  “I suppose Lucas doesn’t qualify,” Ashley said, obviously in jest.

  “No, I’m afraid not,” Jeslyn said, seriously.

  There was trouble from the start, as Bailey (so renamed by Ashley because she thought Tucker was a “creepy farmhand name”) chewed through a pair of Ashley’s leather sandals, a lamp cord and several of Lucas’s soft toys, sticking his snout in between the slats of Lucas’s crib and grabbing them with his teeth one by one. At bedtime, he wanted to sleep in Chad and Ashley’s bed, to which Chad actually didn’t object. Ashley, however, was firmly against this, instead requiring Bailey to sleep in his own bed in the corner of the master bedroom, which Bailey in turn reacted to by whining through the entire night.

  SCAD had asserted that he was housebroken, but after Bailey soiled one of the Sanderses’ plush rugs, CS could be found, at all hours of the night, taking the little guy out, to try to prevent any further accidents inside the house.

  About a week after the adoption, Chad was rough-housing with Bailey when the lab nipped at him, breaking the skin on the fat side of his palm. Chad insisted that he was fine, but Ashley called the doctor anyway; after being reassured that Singapore was rabies-free, she bandaged Chad up, giving him an austere warning not to play rough with Bailey again, and went about her day.

  A few days after the incident, however, Ashley herself was reaching to put on Bailey’s leash to take him out for a walk when he turned his head suddenly and bit her. Shocked, she pulled her hand quickly away, rubbing her hand and checking for blood. Thankful there was none, she immediately signed Bailey up for dog obedience classes, using a trainer that SCAD recommended, and took him for his first session the very next day.

  But just a week after that, Lucas was stumbling along in the kitchen and reached to grab a toy that had rolled near Bailey’s food bowl, just as Ashley was filling it with kibble. The dog lunged at Lucas, giving a sharp bark and baring his teeth. Ashley rushed to scoop up Lucas and gave the dog a gentle kick, but she was shaking.

  “I just can’t put Lucas in danger,” she told Sarah, who recommended she call SCAD and tell them what had happened. Maybe they would take him back, she said.

  Ashley called Jeslyn and reported the biting incidents that had occurred since the adoption. Jeslyn told her she was disappointed as Tucker had not exhibited any signs of aggression while under SCAD’s care, but said they would take him back, as soon as they could find a suitable foster home. She said that given what Ashley had reported, she couldn’t foster him while they searched for a new owner as she had small children herself, but she could place him in a temporary boarding facility.

  She encouraged Ashley to continue the obedience training, and also suggested taking Tucker – she kept referring to him as Tucker, which annoyed Ashley – to a vet to see if there was any medication that could be prescribed to curb his aggression. Ashley said she would do that, and the two agreed they would check back in with each other in a few days.

  As recommended, Ashley took Bailey to see a vet, a small clinic located within one of the HDB blocks on Holland Drive. Ashley gave the rundown on Bailey’s aggression, describing in detail each incident, after which the vet looked solemnly at her and said, “If the dog has bitten you and your family members multiple times, and has become a threat to the safety and lives of others, then we would recommend euthanasia.”

  He said to her that it would be wrong to send the dog on to another home, possibly with young children, only to have him bite someone else, perhaps even more seriously. Upset but rational, Ashley called Chad and told him what the vet had said. CS was in the middle of a client lunch and couldn’t hear her too well, but said whatever she decided was fine by him. Ashley was about to take Bailey home and think about it overnight, but the vision of the dog’s bared teeth at little Lucas caused her to decide to give the vet the OK, and she signed the authorisation agreement and made the payment right then and there.

  The technician asked if she wanted to be present when Bailey was sedated; Ashley responded no, it was better not to. She bent down, gave the dog a hug without getting too close to his mouth, and handed the leash to the technician.

  She went home after that, a bit teary, and ran into Sarah at the lobby of The Manchester, where she relayed the events of the afternoon. Sarah reassured her that she had made the right decision; but Sarah was a bit conflicted after hearing the account. It seemed to her that Ashley might have made the decision under duress, but not having experienced the aggression first-hand, she knew she shouldn’t pass judgment.

  A few days later, Sarah received a message from the other Sara, who was at work that morning, directing her to go to a link online. Sarah clicked through and saw that Jeslyn had started an online petition to the AVA to launch a formal investigation against Ashley and the vet regarding the death of Tucker/Bailey. Sarah saw in horror that Ashley’s full name, address and photos had been posted publicly for all to see. The petition already had over 300 signatures and more than 50 supportive comments, with a few calling Ashley, among other things, “a heartless expat not welcome in S’pore”.

  After a week of this firestorm, during which articles mentioning Ashley’s name appeared almost daily (CS commenting gleefully, “And you thought it would be me that would bring shame to our family name.”), Ashley came running over to Sarah’s unit, handing her a letter that had just been delivered to her via courier.

  It was a demand letter from a lawyer acting on behalf of Jeslyn Lim and SCAD, alleging that Ashley had breached the adoption agreement with SCAD. They were seeking $1,500 in damages, which, after subtracting legal costs, would be donated to SCAD.

  “Am I in trouble?” Ashley asked. “Do we have to call that lawyer guy?” It was the first time Sarah had ever seen Ashley look worried. She could deal with the haters online, but the lawyer’s letter had really spooked her. Sarah asked her if she had had any contact with Jeslyn after taking Bailey to the vet. Yes, Ashley said, a couple of days after the visit to the vet, her phone had rung and it had been Jeslyn.

  Not wanting to talk to her, Ashley ignored the call, but sent her a message later saying that the dog had been put to sleep at a clinic on Holland Drive. Distressed at the news, Jeslyn called Ashley immediately, and Ashley took the call, but finally had to hang up the phone because Jeslyn became very agitated, basically yelling at her and accusing her of “murdering an innocent puppy”.

  “The letter alleges that you breached the original contract; do you have the adoption agreement?” Sarah asked Ashley.

  “I did sign something, but they didn’t give me a copy of it,” Ashley responded.

  “Hm… that’s weird,” Sarah said.

  “Yeah, I remember them saying it was all standard; he was already fixed and had all his shots already. They just said they might contact me for a home visit in a couple weeks, which they never did. There was definitely nothing about having to tell th
em if we were going to put him down, at least, I don’t think,” Ashley said, uncertain about the last point.

  “Well, unfortunately, you’re probably going to have to get a lawyer if you want to fight this thing,” Sarah said.

  Ashley thought for a moment, then said, decisively, “Whatever, I’m just going to pay the damn woman off,” grabbing the letter back from Sarah. “As long as she stops slandering me online, that is.”

  It wasn’t that easy, of course. It would be months before the matter was settled, because Jeslyn would later demand a formal apology, which Ashley patently refused to give. Singapore Law Minister M. Rajaram would even get involved, posting on his public website that he supported Jeslyn Lim 100%, a rare occurrence of a public official weighing in publicly on a private matter. Ashley eventually engaged a lawyer, a colleague of Chew Soon Lee, and the two opposing parties ended up going through mediation, after which everyone involved agreed not to make any more public statements about Tucker/Bailey and anything related to the matter. Even Sarah didn’t know what the final settlement was, but she suspected that Ashley, once engaged, had fought tooth and nail until the bitter end.

  chapter 18

  THE HAZE BLOWS IN

  JUNE SAW ONE of the worst haze seasons Singapore had ever faced, with the Pollutant Standards Index (PSI) averaging 250 for the month and exceeding 400 for six straight days, the hourly readings becoming a permanent feature across the bottom of every TV programme. Understanding the “PM 2.5” reading, the measure of the atmospheric particulate matter that has a diameter of less than 2.5 micrometres and is able to bypass the nose and throat and penetrate deep into the lungs, became the top item on every mother’s to-do list as pharmacies across the island sold out of N95 disposable particulate respirator masks.

  The Singapore Times reported that Singapore was considering taking legal action against the Indonesian companies responsible for causing the fires leading to the haze crisis. After three consecutive days of the local public schools being cancelled due to the PSI reading measuring above 300, the Ministry of Education (MOE) finally issued a statement that all staff and teachers were to report to duty regardless of the PSI reading, and that parents could send their children “at their own risk”, deeming that the education of students was more important than the possible health hazard of the haze.

  Sarah, in disbelief that there could be a weather phenomenon worse than the severe rainy season that had passed earlier in the year, once again retreated indoors, trying to keep the peace between her children. Jason brought home N95 masks from the lab for everyone, and Ruby, the obedient child that she was, wore hers without protest while walking to and from school. Eric, however, upon donning his for the first time, immediately pulled it off, complaining it was “too hot” and “smelled like smoke”, refusing to accept Sarah’s explanation that it was the outdoors that smelled like smoke, not the mask.

  The Sanderses flew off to Perth for a week, receiving permission from the courts after submitting the details of their trip and after Chad’s bail amount had been doubled, escaping both the haze and the vestiges of the cyber-bullying that Ashley still continued to experience, though that was tailing off as the overzealous netizens moved on to new targets.

  Sarah and Sara discussed planning a trip as well, but Sara-without-an-H still had to work, and Sarah-with-an-H kept hoping that the next day would be the day that the wind really picked up and blew the haze away in one massive gust; by the third week of living in a constant barbecue, however, she figured that if they had stuck it out that long already, they could last a little longer.

  Josephine, a mother of one of Ruby’s classmates, was organising a volunteer event at Roslin House, a group home for approximately 80 boys who were wards of the state, due to being orphaned, or having parents who were otherwise unable to provide appropriate care for them. Josephine ran a small LEGO-based robotic activity centre located in one of the heartland malls, catering to children aged six to 12, holding daily “enrichment” classes of varying levels and available for birthday parties on the weekends. The beginner level consisted of teams of two or three at each station, who would first assemble a robot out of blocks, then connect it to a laptop and use the coordinating software to direct the robot to move around.

  Josephine’s idea was to bring 10 to 12 kits of unassembled LEGO block sets and laptops to Roslin and have the younger residents there break up into small groups to complete the activity, each group supervised by one of the mothers. It was very thoughtful of Josephine, and Sarah was happy to get involved, hoping to learn more about the home as a possible place for her to seek further volunteer opportunities.

  A few days before the event, Josephine invited the mothers who had volunteered to visit her store, so that they could practise building and manipulating the robots in advance of the session with the boys. They sat in pairs on small chairs, at long tables that had built-in buckets in the centre that stored the blocks; Sarah paired up with a chic woman with a thick layer of foundation on (how they could stand to wear make-up in this humidity, Sarah still couldn’t figure out) named Li Ming, the mother of the second-shortest girl in the class, Bella. Li Ming joked that as a mother of a very “girly-girl” and being one herself, she had to admit that she had never played with LEGO blocks in her life, which Sarah found both sad and rather unlikely.

  They started through the assembly instructions, Sarah holding herself back in order to keep the same pace as the other woman. It reminded her of 11th grade physics class, where she had been seated next to Cam Appleby, a football player with a mop of blond hair and a cute smile, but sorely lacking in the smarts department. Sarah had guided him through the year, not wanting to appear aggressively brainy, but hoping to impress him just a little; although in truth, he hadn’t really been her type.

  Now, almost 20 years later, she was similarly obsequious to Li Ming, letting the other woman drag the final icon in the software program to instruct the dinosaur robot to turn in circles in an endless loop.

  At the end of the session, Sarah reached for her handbag to head home, when she realised the other mothers were still sitting around, discussing where to go for lunch. Although she didn’t have any specific plans afterwards, she hadn’t planned on staying, and she imagined another hour of fumbling for conversation topics – it always seemed like the group held back when she was around, but she wasn’t sure. She decided to make her exit, telling everyone she looked forward to seeing them at Roslin in a few days.

  On the day of the event, the women gathered in the lobby of Roslin House, a multi-building campus with the dorms and canteen separated from the main recreation building. The executive director, who introduced himself with one name, Hoon, told them that due to the haze, they would need to conduct their session in the small library room, the only common space that was fully enclosed with air-conditioning. He asked if they could do a brief introduction of the group to all the residents before breaking off with the younger ones, who represented about half of the boys.

  Josephine came up to Sarah with a panicked expression and asked if Sarah could give the introduction, explaining, “I can’t do public speaking.”

  Sarah didn’t see much difference between this and what Josephine did all day long at her store, but she walked up to the front of the audience, who were already crowded into the small library, seated on the floor with their knees touching. She delivered a few sentences about the group of mothers, then introduced each one of them, which she later thought was unnecessary, but the only thing she could think of given the short time she had to prepare. The older boys were excused, and the mothers started setting up the stations.

  The two hours went by fast, with Sarah’s three boys catching on quickly, building first the dinosaur, getting it to move around in circles, then moving on to the crocodile, which had a motion sensor, causing its top jaw to clamp down swiftly if an object, or a finger, was placed close to its mouth. One of her group members, a tall, skinny boy named Ahmad, led the other two so skilfully
that Sarah couldn’t help but ask if he had played with similar kits before.

  He looked at her solemnly and shook his head, answering, “No, this is my first time.”

  Sarah encouraged the boys to experiment on their own with the kits, which they did happily, disassembling the robots they had built, making their own new inventions and seeing what the software program would allow them to do. Sarah looked on in amazement at what they were doing on their own, displaying skills well beyond what she herself could have developed in so short a time.

  The session quickly drew to a close; as the mothers packed up all the equipment, the boys stood on the side and watched, asking if they could keep the robots (they couldn’t, it was part of the kit), and wondering with hopeful eyes if the mothers were planning on coming back again. It seemed cruel to give the boys just a small taste of the fun only to take it away. As they were leaving, Josephine passed out small LEGO Minifigures, one for each boy, a nice souvenir, but nothing compared to the cool robots they had just built, Sarah thought.

  At home, Jason made the argument that at least the boys had had the opportunity to play with the equipment for an afternoon, which was better than not having done it at all, but Sarah wasn’t sure she agreed. She wrote to the mother’s chat group, thanking Josephine for organising the event, and asked if she was thinking of making it a regular thing, perhaps once or twice a month? Several of the mothers wrote back even before Josephine herself could respond, saying that they didn’t expect Josephine to be able to commit so much time and resources to the House; it was meant to be a one-time event only.

  Disheartened, Sarah went online to Roslin’s website to see if they had any other volunteer opportunities; besides the “Group” volunteers section, for which, Sarah noted, a bit indignantly, the organisation specifically requested groups who could engage the residents “on a long-term basis”, there was also an “Individual” volunteers section, which consisted of a mentorship programme.