Travails of a Trailing Spouse

by Stephanie Suga Chen

  The volunteers left that afternoon and went for a group dinner at an Indonesian restaurant overlooking the valley, the cool breeze of the just-passed rainy season blowing through the dining room as they ate their fill of local specialties recommended by Ana and her husband.

  The third day was scheduled as a sight-seeing day, which Sarah found odd, thinking it might have been more appropriate after they had finished working, but she begrudgingly went along with it. They started the morning by visiting an international wildlife museum, then lunched at a restaurant in an area where small villas were built extending over a lake, with short, wooden walkways connecting the villas to the shore.

  After lunch, the older kids went off to an adjoining “adventure” park to shoot bows and arrows and ride ATVs – the roar that the three- and four-wheeled motorised quad bikes made, suddenly ending the quiet of the scene, made Sarah wince – while the younger ones threw fish feed into the lake, watching the giant koi greedily chomp at the surface of the water.

  At the end of the afternoon, as the rest of the group headed to another dinner, Sarah begged off, telling everyone that the kids were tired; they would just get something quick at the hotel restaurant and see everyone in the morning.

  The next two days were scheduled to be back at the worksite, but the group discovered that there just wasn’t enough work for everyone to do. The classrooms had been finished and the paint for the rest of the basketball court still had not arrived; the only work that was left was the outer walls, and the team would finish that up in half a day. Karin sent most of the group back to the hotel, taking back with them boxed lunches that had been donated by another local restaurant. Sarah tried to take the kids to the pool, but finding it too cold, they ended up watching TV for the rest of the afternoon until Jason and the outer wall team got back.

  On the last day, they reported to the school to find the chairs lined up again in rows in the main hall and all the teachers, staff and board members there again; after a few more speeches, they posed again for photos, this time the volunteer group posing with all the students, who had been strangely absent during their painting. Finally, Karin presented the chairman with a giant cardboard cheque, that Ana had undoubtedly had made at a local print shop sometime during the past few days, for 150 million Indonesian rupiah, or approximately S$15,000.

  At the final dinner, which was held at a dimly-lit western-style restaurant surrounded by lush greenery, where all the staff were dressed in batik-patterned shirts or dresses, Karin and Ana congratulated everyone on a fantastic week and handed out certificates of completion to all the kids. The certificates were required by some of the older students to show proof of the hours volunteered for their IB diploma requirement. The two organisers also handed out “fun” certificates for each kid, ranging from a “Most Stylish” award to Marianne, who wore platform heels and eyeliner all the time, even when painting, and a “Hardest Working” award to her brother, Stephen, who, at 1.9m, was taller than any of the fathers, and had worked tirelessly alongside them, reaching the top edges of all the walls, while the rest of the kids played basketball on the unfinished court or just fooled around.

  The last award was handed out to the youngest participant that year, little Eric, who was only three and probably should not have been allowed on the worksite at all, but was granted the “Best Singer Award”, for keeping everyone in their classroom entertained with his high-pitched crooning on their first, and actually only, day of painting. It was a nice group of people, Jason and Sarah agreed; the kids were respectful and hard-working, and the parents well-meaning and kind-hearted, but it all felt a little misplaced.

  In the week they had been there, the 38 members of the group had done, at most, two days of work, posed for hundreds of photos, presented donations of a few used laptops, a new basketball backboard and hoop, and a cheque for almost $13,000 US dollars, which was supposedly earmarked for upgrading the school’s dormitory facilities. It didn’t feel right to Sarah, although she kept up the façade for Ruby and Eric, telling them that they were doing a wonderful thing, repeatedly thanking them for their hard work. When they were out of earshot, however, she grumbled to Jason interminably, until he finally said, “If you’re so unhappy about it, plan next year’s, then,” shutting her up, at least temporarily.

  Karin kept track of every rupiah spent and at the end of the final night, distributed back to each family the excess funds that had not been used for general expenses, amounting to approximately $30 per family. She offered to share the entire expense report with everyone, but Sarah waved her off; it was not the $200 per family in general expenses that she was concerned about, it was the large sum of donations they had handed over without so much as a conversation on what the funds would be used for.

  Sarah realised that the volunteer trip she and Jason had gone on years before had been similar; they had been required to contribute a similar amount per person in a cash donation, and their presence on the build site was probably more annoying than assisting to the local team, but somehow putting in a week of eight-hour (OK, truthfully six-and-a-half-hour, maybe) days made it seem like they were doing more than just giving money.

  After they returned back to Singapore, her friends asked her how the trip went; they praised her for her selflessness, even as Sarah admitted that the whole thing felt a little false to her, describing the welcome show put on by the disabled children, the well-dressed wife of the head of school, the sightseeing and the dinners, the giant cheque presentation, the basketball court they had left half-painted.

  chapter 26

  JASON TURNS 40

  JASON’S 40TH BIRTHDAY was approaching, and since Sarah recognised that she had been a pretty awful person to be around the past year, she wanted to make it up to him with an impressive celebration.

  She started with the gift, which was going to be a car, truly a rare luxury in Singapore, given how convenient public transportation was, and how expensive the Certificate of Entitlements (COE), a 10-year registration whose price was set via twice-monthly auctions, were. That month, the COE price was hovering at about $80,000, and this amount didn’t even include the cost of the car, which was about twice that of an equivalent car purchased in the US. They had actually been talking about buying one over the past few months, so it wasn’t as big a deal as it might have seemed; Sarah saw it as just saving Jason the administrative work, which he certainly would appreciate.

  Sarah had also bought the only other car they had owned together, a new white Infiniti G37 that only had 15,000 miles on it when they regrettably had to sell it in preparation for their move to Singapore, so this purchase was not that different, except that the car she ended up buying was a lot older, not nearly as well-maintained, and almost as expensive. She ended up choosing an eight-year-old Mazda 3, bargaining with the used car dealer for new mats, an oil change and a full tank of gas, settling at a price which netted out to about $1,000 a month for the next two years. Jason would end up referring to it as their “Singapore Porsche”.

  She also planned a surprise party, hatching an elaborate scheme in which the chair of Jason’s department, Matt Stone, was to send Jason an email at the end of the business day, suggesting that he, Matt, might soon be fired, and because he had recruited Jason, Jason’s position and funding might be at risk as well. In reality, it was not that far-fetched. Matt himself was at odds with the university’s management; he had been very vocal about supporting a history professor who had been denied tenure the prior year, asserting that she had been a stellar candidate, her only fault being that she had criticised the Singapore government on her personal blog.

  When Sarah told her friends about this plan, both Ashley and Sara had stared back at her in disbelief.

  “You’re seriously going to make Jason think he is fired?” Sara said, the thought unfathomable to her. Even though she had once been her husband’s boss, she now put him on a pedestal, and seemed almost worshipful of the pay cheque he brought home to support their family.
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br />   “He’s only going to think he’s fired, for like, at most an hour! And then we’ll all be there, yelling ‘SURPRISE!’” Sarah said, trying to convince them of her plan. “No? Too harsh?”

  “You are evil, lady!” Ashley chimed in, although she smiled in obvious support.

  On the night of the party, Sarah left Jason with the kids under the guise of meeting her friend Olivia for dinner, but in reality heading upstairs to the Hendricks’, where Sara was helping her store the cake and other supplies for the party. About 15 minutes after she arrived, she got a message from Jason: “Something’s up with Matt Stone. He just asked me to meet him for drinks at the hotel bar later tonight. The one next door. I shouldn’t be too late back.”

  A second message came almost immediately: “He said something about him possibly losing his job. Might affect me.”

  “Uh oh, sounds bad,” Sarah wrote back, showing the message to Sara and giggling mischievously.

  As planned, the two Sara/hs headed to the hotel bar, which Sarah had booked out for the evening, setting out the decorations and confirming with the manager her food and drink orders. The guests started arriving, including many of Jason’s colleagues, who couldn’t believe she had roped Matt Stone into the deception.

  Finally, after almost everyone had arrived, she received a message from Matt that he had just asked Jason to meet him there. The manager turned down the lights, the guests ducked down out of sight, and as Jason walked through the glass doors, pausing at the entrance with a slightly confused look on his face, everyone jumped out, yelling “Surprise!” in perfect unison.

  As Sarah gave Jason a hug, Matt walked in behind him, reached out to shake his hand, and wished him a happy birthday. Jason, still puzzled, turned to him and said, “Wait, so I still have a job?”

  Later, a server brought out a cake topped with a blazing layer of candles, and one of Jason’s Singaporean colleagues asked, “Wow, are there really 40 candles on that?”, to which Sarah replied, “Actually, 41! One extra ‘to grow on’; it’s a US custom.” After Jason blew out the candles with an impressive single breath, Sarah presented him with a brand new iPhone box – he had been hankering after the latest model for months. His eyes lit up, and Sara shouted from the side, “Open it, open it!”

  He did, and inside the box, nestled in the plastic insert tray, instead of a phone, was a car remote key.

  “WHAT?” Jason said, not believing his eyes. Sarah turned him around to face the windows, where CS – the only other one of the Crew who drove in Singapore – was driving the car around the circle driveway of the hotel, red balloons extending from both rear windows and tied above the roof in a big bunch, an ingenious idea that Sara had come up with, in place of a giant red bow.

  The final surprise was that the following morning, they packed up the kids and drove their new car up to Malaysia, where Jason was now free to go, now that his passport had been released. Though they had both obtained Singapore driving licences, neither Jason nor Sarah had driven in Singapore since making the move over. Jason, who took the wheel while Sarah navigated, however, didn’t seem to be bothered at all by driving on the left side of the road, although he did take a few left turns too tightly, causing everyone in the car to yell out when the rear wheel hit the kerb with a thud.

  The kids, whom Sarah had expected to be elated at having a car of their own, actually wrinkled their noses at the prospect of having to sit in a car seat – Singapore law didn’t require them in taxis.

  “It’s too tight,” Eric complained, about the three-point harness, but Sarah insisted that he wear it, and tried to redirect his attention to the CD she was inserting into the car’s player, one of many she had burnt in anticipation of more road trips in their new car. Some of the CDs were favourites of hers and Jason’s that brought back college-era memories, while one was a collection Sarah had made in honour of Singapore – songs that composers wrote specifically for the country’s National Day Parade, held every year on the 9th of August. In the weeks leading up to last year’s parade, Ruby had come home from school singing one song that was particularly catchy; she had belted out the chorus so many times and with such passion that they all had learned it, even little Eric. That day, as they cruised up the eastern coast of Malaysia, they sang along with the music in unison:

  “This is my country, this is my flag;

  This is my future, this is my life;

  This is my family, these are my friends;

  We are Singapore, Singaporeans!”

  They parked at Mersing, in Johor, where they met the Crew again, this time including all the kids, and took a private speedboat (not the “Asian” boat that CS had referred to way back when) over to Pulau Pulau, a small private island that had just one resort, where their group would be spending Jason’s birthday weekend together. Sarah had been worried that Carys would bail, but having already booked the non-cancellable rooms months ago, she gamely swapped out Ian for her helper, arriving with the Hendricks together in a hired van.

  Although it was technically monsoon season, both the sky and the sea were a crisp blue that day, the water sparkling like crystal, turning greener as they reached closer to shore. The boat docked at a short jetty made of wooden planks, and the boatmen carried their children and luggage up some stairs to a sand path leading to the main, open-air pavilion that served as the check-in desk, restaurant and main bar.

  They sat down for lunch in the sand-floored restaurant; a smiling, jolly man came over to show the children something, luring them away to the beach, which was located just a few steps down, on both sides of the pavilion. Sarah at first started to say, “Hey, where are you taking them?” when she realised it was all part of the package. The price they had paid included not only the multi-bedroom villas and the meals, but also services such as this – friendly staff members entertaining the children within the parents’ view, allowing the adults to enjoy their meals and conversations without the constant yammering of their kids.

  They spent the weekend swimming in the infinity pool, which was smaller than their condo pool but somehow more fun, splashing at the island’s various wide-open beaches, and trying their hand at kayaking, although most pairs lasted only 15 minutes, the hot sun too strong for most of the children. John and Ethan were the only ones who stayed out for a full hour, John rowing resolutely for the 3km lap around the island; when he returned, Ethan’s face was beet-red despite the floppy hat Sara had made him wear, fastening the chin strap tightly before pushing their kayak off into the waves.

  On the last night, which was Jason’s actual birthday, Sarah suggested that the husbands stay for drinks at the beach bar, which was located on the other side of the jetty from the main pavilion, while the wives fed the kids an early dinner and put them to bed, proposing that they reconvene in a couple of hours for a grown-ups’ dinner. The men happily agreed (who would decline an offer like that, after all), ordering a round of beers in honour of the birthday boy before the women and children had even departed.

  After a quick meal of fried fish and rice, the mothers gathered the children on the beach with a sky lantern that Sarah had brought from Singapore (never mind that they were illegal to release in many places due to the possibility that they could start wildfires or even hamper aircraft navigation). Just as the sun was setting, Sarah lit the lantern and asked each child to make a wish. Ruby whispered, “I wish everyone in the world could be happy,” and Eric said, “I wish A-Ma and A-Gong could see this,” turning to the other kids and translating for them, “I mean my Grandma and Grandpa.” Sarah released the lantern and they watched it float higher and higher, the glowing circle slowly disappearing into the distance.

  Shortly after, Carys and Ashley sat on the teak couch of the outdoor sitting area of the two-bedroom villa the Lees and Hendricks were sharing, which was closer to the restaurant and pool, but lacked the expansive view and privacy of the beach villas.

  As she was waiting for the Sara/hs to get their children to bed – having left her hel
per to settle her own son down – Ashley received a message from Chad saying that the husbands wanted to stay out at the beach bar; they didn’t want to make the long walk back to the restaurant. Ashley read the message aloud, mimicking her husband’s drunk voice and the women rolled their collective eyes, Sarah calling from their bedroom, sarcastically, “Sure, that sounds fair. After we’ve done all the hard work. Ask them if they want us to bring dinner to them, served on a silver platter.”

  Ashley typed the message, wondering aloud, “Is there a sarcasm emoji?” Chad wrote back, “Sure! You’re the best,” to which she responded, “I was joking, dimwit. Get your asses back here right now.”

  Meanwhile, Sara’s boys had fallen asleep, and she came out to the sitting area and saw that her husband had also sent her a message, asking suggestively, “Hey babe, what are you wearing right now?” She read this aloud as well, which prompted Sarah to say, “Goodness, what on earth has gotten into them?”, noting that she had not heard from her own husband yet.

  The babysitter that the Sara/hs had hired to watch their children while they had dinner arrived just then, so the women headed to the restaurant, placed their dinner orders, and hoped their husbands would find their way back soon.

  They did, and Jason didn’t even appear to be that drunk, much to Sarah’s surprise. He whispered to her that Chad and John had drunk much more than him, which Sarah actually believed, given the messages that had been coming from them to their respective wives. They ordered champagne, raising their glasses to each other in successive toasts that became progressively sillier and more nonsensical, Sarah thanking everyone for coming and celebrating with them, Ashley wishing Jason a happy 40th, Jason thanking his Sarah for organising the weekend, John thanking his Sara for no obvious reason at all, CS thanking God, Buddha, and Allah for bringing them all together; it went on and on.