Of Beasts and Belle

by J E Mueller

  With a frustrated scream I snatched up a pillow from my bed and pulled it in two. It didn’t matter, everything after that first night came back. The pillow would magically be whole in the morning. As for that first night, all those things were very much destroyed. It didn’t bother me. Why should it? There wasn’t exactly an easy way out of this spell. There wasn’t even a way to leave here.

  I had tried. I was a very powerful creature now. My paws could crush things I never dreamed of. My claws were sharper than even the wolves that lived in the forest around me. I knew that from experience. I got through the wolves with little difficulty. The edge of the forest was where the problem lay. The spell kept me in, a wall I could not pass through but one any other living creature, save the staff, could easily go in and out of. The birds easily demonstrated that fact time and again.

  I did my part and tossed the thief out of the woods. The magic around here would likely mess with him; he wouldn’t remember anything. There was no guarantee though. Magic was supposed to have checks and balances. I gave a laugh that sounded somewhere between manic and anger. I wasn’t worried if anyone heard. The staff were beyond trying to figure out where my mind was anymore.

  Checks and balances. Oh yes, we were supposed to have them. Lots of good that rubbish did. The system only worked if it wasn’t out to get you, and this one was. Ha. Lucky me.

  A knock came from the door and I barked a, “What,” at it, hoping that the fool would leave me alone. Of course not. Luce hopped his way in. You would think one who was forced into such a form would be depressed, sullen, and ready to give up on this life. Luce didn’t seem to think of it as anything but a challenge.

  I glared at him. “Well, what is it?” A low growl slipped out without beconing. It was my default anymore.

  “Your majesty! We are near to breaking this curse!” Luce flickered on and off excitedly for a moment before taking note of my glare and explaining. “This could be the one!”

  “And why would they be the one? An idiot girl who has no sense of self-perseveration? Why would you ever assume such a thing?” I walked over to the window. I had guessed that was what the plan was, but he should know better.

  True love didn’t just show up on your door, and who would ever love a fool? Better yet, who would love a monster? I was stuck in this form. None of my other magic worked. I could feel it locked and strained as if it was constantly choking to death. The feeling never eased or went away.

  “Give it a chance! You can start with a lovely dinner!” The flashlight flicked on and off repeatedly again.

  I glared at it. “Yes, lets just invite the prisoner for dinner. That sounds like an absolutely fantastic idea.” The sarcasm dripped heavily from my voice.

  “I knew you would agree!” Luce let himself out, the steady thunk thunk thunk fading down the hall with every bounce.

  If I was certain of anything, it was that this dinner would be a disaster.

  ——Astrid——

  A knock came at the door and an old style feather duster let themself in followed by a roomba. I watched the two from my spot in one of the chairs and set aside the book I was reading.

  “Um, hi,” I said in way of greeting, unsure if the duster was the only living thing or if the roomba was once human as well.

  The duster more or less floated it’s way over to me. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” He gave a little bow the best way he could without falling over.

  “Um, yeah…” I was already fantastic at talking to people, not. Let’s just add this randomness in. “So, what's up? And how can you all open locked doors?”

  The duster seemed to do a half turn toward the roomba before turning back toward me. “We came to see how you were settling in!”

  The roomba gave a small beep before a very robotic voice added. “We are trapped already, the spell allows all doors to be opened and closed with ease. There are no added benefits. I cannot do stairs.” It beeped again before turning in a small circle and I could hear the small whirl of vacuuming begin.

  “Well, I’m a prisoner with a fancy bed. So yeah. Bit better than the dungeon, but still stuck.” I shrugged, not sure exactly what they were looking for as an answer.

  The duster gave a nervous laugh before the roomba spoke again with the same robotic voice. “Room is better. Agreed.” It beeped a few times before heading out the door, vacuum whirring the entire way.

  “Pardon her, Roma hasn’t been the same since she realized her voice always sounds the same.” The duster gave a small laugh before heading out as well, the door closing behind him.

  “Well, that was weird.” I glanced over and saw the wardrobe was still sleeping like nothing happened.

  Part of me wondered if this was the most exciting thing to happen since they were turned. The other part didn’t get it at all. Still, I tried the door again, hoping they would have somehow shut it but not locked it. My luck wasn’t there. Frustrated, I tried to call on my magic to unlock it. Even busting down the door would be a fine alternative. Nothing though.

  Come on magic! I needed to get out but the demand I tried to inflict on it didn’t so much as stir up a brief response. I needed to escape and make sure Marcus was fine. There had to be a way to undo all of this, and being trapped in a magical castle with useless magical gifts was not going to solve any bit of anything.

  I wondered if I could use this to my advantage. Surely they didn’t want to be trapped either, right? But would any of them actually let me run off and try and find a solution? It didn’t seem like it. This would be very interesting to try and work out. I glanced around the room for inspiration and strode over to the wardrobe.

  “Mrs. Taelyr?” I nudge the side of it, trying to will her to wake up and respond to me.

  “What is it?” She yawned heavily, her voice barely sounding awake.

  “There’s got to be a way to get you all back to normal right? How does one get out of here and get the proper authorities on that?”

  The wardrobe shook its doors as she laughed, and laughed, and laughed. Taelyr was laughing so hard for so long I wondered if she had just gone mad.

  “They do not care about us.” She spat the words before she laughed again, thankfully a bit more briefly. “They found the perfect punishment with the most obscure solution. We’ll be here for some time, if not forever.”

  “But maybe I can find a solution,” I countered.

  Taelyr laughed again, her doors opening and closing loudly. “Oh I’m sure you’d try. You seem smart, but there isn’t an easy answer here.”

  “There has to be a way though.”

  “And there is!” the wardrobe agreed with ease. “But, it’s not for you to solve. The beast of royalty caused the problem and only she can resolve it. That lot isn’t going to be doing anything anytime soon, so, welcome to our suffering.” She gave a yawn, the crazed voice dropping back to it’s tired tone.

  I tried to think fast, not wanting her to fall asleep again so soon. “Well, is there a way I can help her solve it?”

  The wardrobe gave some sort of half yawn, half laugh reply. “Oh, I doubt it. She’d leave you to rot if she could.”

  With that the wardrobe went back to snoring softly. My heart dropped as I realized something very important. I would have died in the dungeons if the flashlight hadn’t decided to meddle with things. How long could they interfere for? Would I suddenly go forgotten? I sat back in my chair but for once a book didn’t seem comforting. Instead, I let the dread consume me.

  I looked up from under the covers at the knock on my door. I had decided while it was completely useless, hiding under the blankets gave me a sense of security, and I liked to believe it helped me think more clearly. I waited and was surprised no one was randomly entering the room of their own accord. A knock sounded again and I tried to speak up.

  “Um, yes?” I called, not entirely sure what the procedure here was, though I appreciated this over random entering.

  “Her Majesty would like you to join her for
dinner!” Luce’s chipper voice sounded. The excitement didn’t do anything for me. In fact, it was kind of off putting in this instance.

  “Why would I eat dinner with my captor?” Why was this even a question? Was it a statement? It sounded more like a sick joke. My stomach twisted as it tried to decide between anger and anxious knots.

  There was a pause. “Why not?” Luce asked as chipperly as possible. “It’ll be a good dinner and who doesn’t like a little company with food?” The flashlight gave a nervous laugh.

  Yeah, no. “Because I’m trapped here? I’m a prisoner here and you expect me to just play nice as if none of this is going on? What sick joke is this?”

  At first I heard nothing, then the steady thunk, thunk, thunk of Luce hopping away. Was this my captor’s plan? What kind of person would ever think this is a good idea.

  I finally got up and paced the room trying to plan my escape. If I stayed in here, that wouldn’t happen. Maybe I did need to go to dinner if only to bolt out the front door. That door didn’t appear to be locked, or at least it wasn’t when I first came in. There had to be a window or something open on a more reasonable, less fall to your death, level floor.

  It was too late now for that thought, unless someone came to see if I reconsidered. That seemed unlikely, though it was hard to get any sort of read on these people. Expressions only helped when something had a face. Even arms and hands would help.

  I was grateful when sometime later a knock came again at the door. The roomba, Roma, let herself in, happily carrying an oriental looking teapot on her back. It almost reminded me of the one my gram brought back from overseas when we were little. I stared at the two from my spot on the chair and wondered if the roomba had any real say in being a transportation device for the other smaller objects.

  “Well, good evening there!” the teapot stated, waddling from side to side as he dismounted the roomba. “What a strange day it has been. Everyone is in a tizzy like we’ve never had company before!” The teapot did his best to pace a small area in front of me. “Though, I suppose we really haven’t in this form.” The teapot bobbed forward and back a few times as if he were nodding. “Anyway! It would be terrible for our first guest in ages to not come have some dinner.” The teapot bounced around but continued on before I could get a word in. “A small dinner with us bored staff, yes? It’ll be fun. Let’s go!” The teapot led the way to the door, seeming to assume I would willingly follow.

  I stared as if it were mad, but knew this was probably the best opportunity I had to get an idea how to, if not outright, escape. My stomach made a weird gurgling sound as if to say it agreed with the dinner plans as well. With a nod to myself, I followed the teapot while the roomba trailed slowly behind us.

  When we reached the stairs the roomba beeped a few times as the teapot hopped down the steps. I glanced at the roomba who was still beeping and turning in a small circle as the teapot steadily gained ground.

  “Um, would you like to come downstairs?”

  The roomba stopped and after a moment gave a small beep. “It would be appreciated.”

  I scooped up the roomba and headed down, easily catching up to the teapot. To his credit, the teapot seemed determined to stay ahead and never looked back, waddling forward and jumping down to the next level with what I assumed was years of practiced ease. I followed patiently, taking in the surroundings as I did.

  There wasn’t much exciting stuff to see. I had guessed the portraits were from the royal family, though I wasn’t sure how far back they dated. I wondered how bad of a spell there was on this place in order to put a hold on their existence in the minds of everyone. I had no doubts that the memories were not erased, just stifled. It would be too hard and take an entire continent of magic to wipe memories like that. Even more so with how technology and the internet could save things.

  I kept my thoughts to myself as we finally reached the landing and I set the roomba on the floor. She gave a few excited beeps before saying thank you and taking off. The teapot had continued on but I stopped and stared around me. Being back at the front door was nice, but I doubted it would be as simple as heading out. Instead of trying to just run, I glanced back up the stairs noting the way I had come from and wondering if the other side of the building would be less watched. They were most likely expecting me to stay on my side, therefore only keeping those things locked.

  The thought amused me. I wondered how hard it would be to find a side door or the back and just take off. It didn’t matter what way I escaped, I just needed to get clear from the woods. Once out, I would have phone signal again and could get home. I started to wander in the opposite direction of the teapot. Leaving from another direction meant I wouldn’t have my bike. That would be helpful in avoiding unwanted animals in the woods. My gift would help enough. Birds and owls could easily give me positions of wolves or coyotes. Their communication with one another told me what I needed to know.

  “There you are miss!” I heard the teapot call from behind me as I wandered down a side hall.

  I turned and smiled at them. “This is a lovely building.”

  The teapot didn’t seem to know what to say at first. “That it is! Needs a bit of work, but it's a tad hard to reach things currently.”

  I kept my smile as warm as possible. “I believe it. It would be hard enough to keep this place spotless without the added magical problems.”

  The teapot did his best to nod. “Right you are. Now, come along. Dinner’s ready and no one likes a cold plate!”

  This time I followed, happy that we continued down the hall I was already in and took a back route to the dining room. As we entered, a wide variety of objects seemed to be doing their best to set the table. I watched a fork, a spoon, and a hatrack put things on the table that thankfully didn’t appear to be alive. A pitcher seemed to pour a glass of water with ease, but two sporks were doing a terrible job of trying to light some candles. At least they were trying their best.

  I waited in the doorway as the teapot joined Luce the flashlight in ordering things, er people, around. The directions seemed to be hardly needed. Everyone had their own tasks and were diligently carrying them out, as quickly as they possibly could. When they finished Luce bounced around excitedly, flickering on and off with unrestrained glee.

  “Mr. Brew, come show our guest her seat!” Luce declared before hopping up and taking a seat.

  The teapot waddled back over to me. “Right this way miss!”

  I saw I was the only person with a real seat. No other places except the one Mr. Brew was leading me to had food. I guess it made sense that objects didn’t need to eat, but that probably added to the boredom these residents felt. There wasn’t much to do here, and there was only a handful of things they could reasonably do.

  Taking my seat, I looked around at the group watching me. “So, this looks nice.” I smiled at them and glanced over my food. It was fancier than I made for myself at home. Then again, my interest in cooking was greatly limited to what took as little of time as possible. “I bet this took a while to prepare. Smells good.” I was happy that they took it as a sign to chatter.

  The dishes and other objects had no problems talking about their day and how exactly they went about things. They got into a lot more detail about things than I was expecting. It was kind of fascinating to hear the different things and challenges going on. They all seemed to be avoiding details on her majesty, and the event involving my brother.

  It made me wonder if they were even supposed to be talking to me or not. Did her majesty want me to rot? I knew if asked they’d do everything to sidestep that conversation. It wasn’t something I wanted to really consider. She seemed deranged and so far pulled from reality. Clearly, she knew that someone getting stuck here was a big deal, and yet my lost brother she immediately imprisoned for picking up a flower.

  I didn’t want to cross her, or really ever see her again. I hoped I could escape soon. Maybe tonight even. If I managed that, I would be gone from this place in
a few short hours. It hadn’t taken too long to navigate the woods. Maybe an hour? Maybe two? Time had escaped me today and I wished for a clock, though maybe not the strict and crabby mantle clock Luce had been talking to earlier.

  As if on cue, the mantle clock waddled in. Upon seeing me, she hurried over to Luce.

  “And what do you think you’re doing?” She yelled at the flashlight, as if the rest of us couldn’t hear her.

  “Oh, stop being so wound up. There’s nothing going on to grind your gears here!” Luce chuckled.

  “You are purposefully meddling in ways that can only go wrong!” Mrs. Pendulum shot back tightly.

  “No, no, no, silly clock! You see, I am but a flashlight and a light going on is always a good idea!” Luce chuckled, somewhat maniacally before hopping off, Mrs. Pendulum waddling quickly after him.

  “What was that about?” I asked the feather duster, who I learned went by Quill.

  He waved side to side for a moment as if shrugging. “Who knows. Those two are always arguing about something or another.”

  “Never mind them. I bet you’re tired. Let’s get you off to bed,” Mr. Brew chimed in.

  I nodded, taking note of the fact that they clearly did not want me to know the actual details. I was curious as to why, but had no real way to convince them to tell me. Yet.

  I may not need it.

  The teapot seemed persistent in having me follow him, and as soon as we headed out of the dining room the roomba, Roma, joined us. As we reached the stairs a clattering came from behind us. Mr Brew tried to glance over but couldn’t seem to figure it out.

  “Go check it out. I’m sure Roma can help me back.” I looked down at the roomba.

  “I know the way,” the monotone voice replied.

  Mr. Brew sighed. “Very well. Off to bed though. I will retrieve you for breakfast in the morning.” The teapot bobbed forward in a nod before heading back the way we came.