by Rin Grey
When he’d found out about Sean, he’d hoped to find something like that. But though he’d felt closer to Sean than he had to his father, Sean never slipped from the authoritarian role.
Elizabeth wasn’t like that.
Had Sean scared her away? Was that why she had left?
Curiosity consumed him. “Ever since the day he told me about you, I’ve wanted to know more. Sean told me just enough to wet my curiosity, but never enough for me to really get a feeling of who you were, or why you made the choices you did.”
The shadow of pain flickered across his face again. She sighed quietly and said regretfully, “Some days I’m not too sure myself. I don’t seem to have made very many good choices so far actually. Having to leave you was one of the ones I regret the most though.”
He took that back. She was just as obtuse as Sean. “Having to leave…?” he asked, trailing off. He almost held his breath, waiting for her answer. Would she tell him?
“How much did Sean tell you?” Elizabeth asked quietly. Hedging. He knew that tactic well.
“Not much. That you left when I was born. He wouldn’t say why. I wondered, a little, if it was because of him.”
Her face twisted, and her eyes dipped away, as though she couldn’t meet his. Then she took a deep breath, and looked up. “Partly, though to say it was Sean’s fault would be inexcusable. It was my fault. All of it. I can’t blame Sean for not wanting anything to do with me. What I nearly did was unforgivable.”
Jon’s heart started to thump in his chest. Her partial answers were just enough to make him curious and nervous. He was sure he was about to find out the truth.
And he wasn’t sure if he wanted to know.
He was half scared that knowing would damage the tenuous connection he felt to her. Especially since she herself said she’d done something unforgivable.
He waited, holding his breath.
“When I found out I was pregnant, well, I was more than a little surprised. I didn’t even think it was possible. I was scared of being a parent again, and even more scared of doing it on my own.”
“Again?” Jon asked, staring at her. That he hadn’t expected.
Elizabeth winced. “I had two children, two girls, many years ago now.”
“I have sisters?” Jon asked in disbelief, trying to get his head around that idea. He’d grown up an only child. The thought of having siblings was almost too much to take in.
“A sister,” Elizabeth corrected. “My eldest died a few years ago. The younger has a son though, Mitch, so I guess that means you’re an uncle too.”
Jon stared at her in disbelief. A few days ago, he’d been an only child who had no idea who his mother was. Now he had a whole extended family.
Sort of. “I suppose I’m unlikely to ever meet them,” he said regretfully, genuinely sad.
Elizabeth shook her head. “I doubt it. If Jocelyn found out, she’s technically your cousin by the way, that I had been involved with Sean, she’d have an absolute fit I suspect.” Her voice was amused, and he was glad to see her face lighten a little.
Her life was so different from his. He took for granted the advantages of living in Linarra. The thought that the elderly woman he’d met today was his cousin was sobering.
Suddenly he needed to know. All of it. No matter what it was. “You were telling me about when you found out about being pregnant?” he prompted.
Her face darkened again. Her voice was almost distant as she said, “I didn’t think Sean would want anything to do with a baby. I was wrong.”
Jon couldn’t help a laugh at that. “Not so very wrong actually.”
Her forehead creased. “What do you mean?”
Jon hesitated. She obviously didn’t know, and he somehow suspected he shouldn’t tell her. But he couldn’t not. “Sean didn’t raise me. In fact, I had no idea he was even my father until I was fifteen.”
She stared at him, her face darkening. Jon could see the anger and hurt written on her face. She had to take a few deep breaths before she asked, “Who raised you?”
“I grew up thinking Senika and Edrich O’Connell were my parents. It wasn’t until about a year after my… Edrich, died, that Sean told me he was really my father. At first I thought he and my mother… Senika, had had an affair, and he didn’t do anything to convince me otherwise. Until, as I said, he told me about you last year.”
Her expression didn’t change much, but she did ask, “She took good care of you? You were happy?”
Jon hesitated. How did he even begin to describe his life? He didn’t want her to feel bad, but he also couldn’t lie to her. “She tried her hardest, but deep down, I always felt a little like there was something missing. Like she never really could know who I was.”
Her eyes met his, and she could see understanding in them. She’d felt it too. He didn’t know when or how, but he was sure of it.
She nodded and was about to speak when footsteps approached outside the tent. She and Jon both turned towards the entrance just as Merron raised the flaps. Jon released the magic he found himself holding automatically, sensing Elizabeth do the same.
Luckily Jocelyn’s warrior, Merron, had no idea how close he’d just come to being blasted. Though he did not look happy anyway. “Are you all right, Elizabeth?” he asked abruptly.
“A little tired, but nothing a sleep won’t cure,” Elizabeth said with a smile.
She didn’t see it, but Jon didn’t miss the suspicious look the man threw him. This wasn’t about Elizabeth or her exhaustion from the magical miracle she’d performed. This man had no idea about any of that.
This was about Jon.
The feeling of being outside returned. He gave a sardonic smile. “I think your friend is worried that I might be causing you some trouble.”
Elizabeth turned and stared at him with a blank expression, then back to Merron.
“I’m fine. Jon was just helping me out of the rain. I needed a rest after all that magic, but I’m all right now.”
Merron shot Jon another sceptical glance. He didn’t look convinced, but he turned back to Elizabeth and said, “Your tent isn’t salvageable. Jake’s going to bunk in with Cyril, and you can have his.”
Elizabeth nodded. “Give him my thanks.” She stared at Merron as though waiting for him to leave.
Jon wanted that too. He still had so much more he wanted to ask. So much more he wanted to know.
Merron nodded, but didn’t move.
Elizabeth stared at him blankly, still waiting.
Jon bit back a sigh, the moment just reminding him that though Elizabeth might be his mother, no one knew. No one could know. If her family found out, they would just be suspicious of her too.
He covered the hurt at having to hide their relationship with amusement. “I think he’s waiting to escort you to your tent…”
Elizabeth stared at Merron for a moment, then gave a barely audible sigh. She glanced over at Jon, the same reluctance in her eyes.
That made it easier. He gave her a smile, standing up and offering her a hand to help her to her feet.
She held his hand for a little longer than was necessary. “Goodnight, Jon,” she said softly.
“Goodnight, Elizabeth,” he replied softly.
He watched her leave, a tangle of feelings leaving a knot in his stomach.
She’d said she was scared to have a baby. That she’d nearly done something unforgivable.
His mind shied away from thinking about what that might be, even though it was there in the back of his mind, haunting him. He didn’t even want to consider it without hearing her story.
What had happened with his sisters? What had made her so scared of having a baby that she might even consider...?
He couldn’t even imagine it. He hoped, if he ever found out he was to be a father, he’d handle the experience with honour. Any other choice wasn’t an option.
But though the knowledge twisted his gut, it couldn’t completely wipe out his excitement. Getting to k
now her promised to answer so many questions in his life. It promised a connection he had never expected.
And that outweighed the hurt.
He wasn’t sure what he had been expecting when Sean had asked him if he wanted to meet his her, but this wasn’t it.
Senika, the woman he’d called mother his whole life, couldn’t be more different. She had nominal magic, used mainly for doing the simple tasks around the home that most mages took for granted. She would never have been able to hold together a magical barrier like that. Nor would it have occurred to her to try. She would have been huddled next to the nearest man, expecting him to protect her.
The thought that someone would protect her seemed not to have occurred to Elizabeth at all. In fact, she appeared to feel the responsibility to protect those around her herself.
Jon hoped for the chance to get to know her better. Perhaps, given his new status as a Seeker, he would be able to find time to come here and meet her on occasion. There was so much he wanted to know, so many questions he still had, and he doubted there would be much chance to talk here, especially with that man watching his every move.
He shook his head, and pushed the thoughts out of his mind. It had been a big day, and he had work to see to before he could find his bed for the night.
*****
The rain had abated to a light drizzle. Despite her exhaustion, Elizabeth managed to pull together just enough magic to protect her and Merron from getting wet.
As soon as they were out of earshot of the tent, Merron asked abruptly, “What was that about?”
Her heart thumped in her chest. The last thing she felt like right now was explaining anything to Merron. Her mind was still reeling with what Jon had said. Sean hadn’t even raised him. Rage flared up again at the thought. How dare he.
She swallowed it down. She needed to deal with Merron before she could think about any of this.
That wasn’t going to be easy without admitting the truth. Not with Merron so suspicious. She stalled for time while she collected her thoughts. “What do you mean? We were just talking.”
“You looked awfully cosy to me. Especially with someone you claim to not know. On a first name basis even.” Merron glared at her, not even bothering to hide his suspicions.
Elizabeth stopped, as did her rain shield. When he realised he was getting wet, Merron stopped and turned to look at her.
“Are you accusing me of lying?” she asked flatly.
She could see the hesitation and uncertainty in his eyes, but eventually he shook his head. “No, I wasn’t. I was just trying to keep an eye on a possible threat to our goal. I don’t trust these mages, and it’s only natural that I’m concerned about you cosying up to one of them.”
His implication was obvious and Elizabeth would have been amused if it hadn’t been so ludicrous.
But then, he had no idea Jon was her son, so of course it was going to look suspicious to him. He didn’t attempt to step back under her rain shield, and his hair quickly became plastered to the side of his face, causing her to feel a little sorry for him.
“I might have thought the same in your position,” she admitted grudgingly. “But it’s not what you are thinking. I was shaken by the effort of holding together the magic for the duration of the storm. I guess Jon noticed that my tent was damaged, I didn’t myself, and took me somewhere dry so I could recover. I would do the same for any mage in the same position. There was nothing more to it than that.”
Merron looked uncertain, but he nodded. “Well, if you’re so worn out, I won’t hold you up. Jake’s tent is yours for the duration of the trip.” He nodded politely to her and left.
Elizabeth made her way slowly to Jake’s tent, glad of the chance to be alone. She didn’t even give Merron’s suspicions a second thought after he was gone, she was so consumed with thoughts of her son.
How was she ever going to explain the rest of it to him? How could she tell him she hadn’t wanted him? That if Sean hadn’t stopped her, he might never have been born?
Why hadn’t Sean told him? It had never occurred to her he would keep the truth from him.
That she’d be the one to have to tell him.
Or had Sean done that intentionally? She wouldn’t put it past him, and she couldn’t even blame him. It had been her choice, it was her responsibility.
She couldn’t hide the truth from him. He deserved to know. To make his decision about her with all the information.
Even though the thought that he might turn away, that he might not want to know her once he knew the truth, hurt more than anything.
Chapter 12 - Plans
There wasn’t a chance for Elizabeth to talk to Jon again for the rest of the trip. Merron didn’t take his eyes off her, and stared at her with suspicion any time she talked to any of the Dome mages.
Elizabeth felt guilty for feeling a little relieved. She still had no idea how to tell Jon the rest of the story, much less an idea of how he would react.
They reached a wood just outside of Anyir mid-afternoon the following day. After setting up a rough camp, the Seekers sought out Merron.
“I don’t suppose I can see that map now?” Carlis asked. There was no malice in his tone, just polite inquiry.
Merron looked at him for a moment, glanced at Elizabeth briefly, then nodded. He pulled out a leather tube and uncapped the end, sliding a piece of parchment out, unrolling it, and after a brief pause, handing it to Carlis.
Jon and Elizabeth came to look over his shoulder.
The map was of the city, roughly drawn, obviously by someone with no knowledge of cartography. Brief notes were made in the margins, talking about booby traps and secret doorways. The room they were looking for was close to the centre of the ruined city according to the map and appeared to be in a room underneath what used to be the town centre. Two entrances were listed, both with various risks scrawled near them.
Merron watched all of them, the suspicion not leaving his face. “So, what’s the plan?”
Carlis studied the map for a few more moments, before setting it down on the ground, and pointing to the other side of the city. “I’ll take the warriors in here. They’ll hopefully draw the mercenaries off. Jon and the rest of you can come around this side, invisible, and take this entrance.” He looked up at Elizabeth, “How many do you think you can cover?”
Elizabeth shrugged, “Three, including myself.”
Jon nodded, “Same. So that’s six of us all up. Three of your team, three of ours. Fair?”
Merron nodded grudgingly. “Fair. Cyril and I will come with you, as well as Elizabeth of course. Jake can go with your team.”
Carlis shook his head, “He can stay and guard the camp with Braton. We wouldn’t want any surprises when we come back.”
Merron didn’t look impressed, but nodded reluctantly, “Fine. That’s settled then. Nightfall?”
“Twilight, the light will be in our favour, making it harder for them to detect our invisibility.”
The plans made, there was little to do except wait. The warriors were quiet, sharpening their weapons. The Salinga team stayed together, under Merron’s watchful eye.
Elizabeth chaffed at the bit. Waiting wasn’t helping distract her any from how she was going to explain her absence to Jon. She wanted to get started. To get this over with. Maybe there would be time to talk to him afterwards. If she could find a chance to get away from Merron’s suspicious eye.
There was certainly no chance now.
They moved into position as twilight fell. Carlis led the group of eight warriors around to the far side of the city. Elizabeth, Jon, and the rest of their group waited, hidden by non-magical means behind a clump of trees near the entrance.
It seemed to take a very long time. Even allowing for the apparent slowing down of time that inevitably occurred when waiting for something, Elizabeth was sure the other team had had plenty of time to get into position and to stop and have a nap as well. What were they doing?
As the sun
light hit the point where it glinted and gleamed, reflecting off every polished surface in the city, they finally heard the shouts of a fight breaking out on the other side of the city.
That was what they were waiting for. They watched the guards they’d identified look towards the fighting. Well trained, they didn’t move from their positions.
Jon looked towards Elizabeth and made a brief gesture and she nodded. Silently, she moulded a ball of magical energy and at his signal, threw it towards one of the guards. Jon did likewise for the other. Both men fell without a sound.
Elizabeth put a hand on Cyril and Merron and slowly melded the surrounding energy in such a way as to cause the light to bend around them, making them invisible to any chance onlooker.
Looking around, Elizabeth couldn’t see Jon’s team either, but she could sense the shimmer of magic that hid them.
“Let’s move out,” he said quietly.
The unseen group moved quietly into the city. It had a ghostly feel, many of the buildings sporting gaping holes, others reduced to piles of rubble. It was obvious the destruction had been quite some time ago though, as moss, grass, and even small shrubs grew in the cracks of the buildings and the piles of rubble.
The city was practically deserted, the remaining mercenaries having run to the commotion on the other side of the city. An invisible sword quickly and silently dispatched the few men that remained.
“Stop!” Jon’s voice was loud in the silence.
Elizabeth’s eyes followed the sound of his voice, even though she couldn’t see him “What?”
No mercenaries even appeared at his shout. All of them must have headed to the disturbance the other mages had created. They were almost at their destination, and she could see no signs of a problem.
Apparently Jon did. “Something’s wrong.”
“What’s going on?” Merron asked quietly.
Before Jon could answer, a dull boom rocked the city and the area in front of them opened up in a giant explosion of fire and flying rocks.
Elizabeth threw herself to the ground, instinctively dropping the invisibility and pulling together a physical barrier of air, hoping it would cover the rest of the team as well.
