by Rin Grey
Rocks bounced off the barrier and she could hear screams in the distance.
In only a few moments, it was all over. When Elizabeth sat up, there was a giant crater in front of them, right where the building they were approaching would have been.
Elizabeth could only stare in shock. What had happened? How had she missed something that caused this level of destruction?
How had Jon detected it?
Elizabeth held the magical barrier, not sure if any more attacks would follow the first, as she looked around to be sure the others had survived the blast. Though the rest of her team was bruised and shaken, all seemed unharmed.
Jon’s team though, were still invisible.
“Where are they?” Merron demanded, looking around. “They did this, didn’t they?”
“Don’t be a fool, Merron,” Elizabeth snapped, taking a step towards where the shimmer of magic told her at least one of Jon’s team was. She felt the man over, but could tell nothing while he was invisible.
She frowned in concentration. To dispel her own invisibility, she simply had to drop the magic she’d used to create it. Dispelling someone else’s was a little more complex. She had to remove all the magic manually. But it only took a few moments more.
The warrior seemed unharmed, though shaken.
Elizabeth found the other warrior, and then Jon on the edge of her barrier. When she dispelled the magic surrounding him, he didn’t move, and blood seeped from a gash on his forehead.
Her heart skipped a beat when she saw it. She hadn’t pulled the barrier up in time. He’d been injured, perhaps seriously. She sent her magic rushing into his body, but could find nothing else wrong. She knitted together the damaged skin, and a few moments later he roused.
“What happened?” he asked immediately, staring around in confusion.
“There was an explosion. Are you all right?”
There must have still been a note of panic in her voice, or on her face, for he smiled reassuringly. “I’ve had worse in the practice ring.” But he let her take his hand and help him to his feet.
Merron didn’t stop for reassurances. “We’d better check on the other team.”
Jon shook his head definitively. “No. It’s too dangerous. We don’t know if that was a booby trap, the mercenaries, or something else entirely. We’ll pull out and regroup. We can come back later to find out what happened if necessary.”
Not surprisingly, Merron disagreed, “It makes more sense to press on now. Your men could be in trouble and need help. I don’t know about you, but we don’t leave a man behind.”
Elizabeth wondered for a moment if it was inexperience that made Jon suggest falling back rather than searching out his team, but despite following Carlis’s lead in his presence, he now seemed confident in his choices on his own.
And he proved it in his next sentence. “Carlis is dead,” he said flatly. “And if he is, the rest of the men probably are too. That blast was caused by magic and we have no idea whose. Most of us have used some hefty magic already and if it is a trap we’ll be easy pickings. Do you really think it makes sense for the rest of us to die tonight?”
Merron looked as startled as Elizabeth felt. “How do you know he’s dead?” he demanded, unbelieving.
“I just know. You’ll have to trust me on that,” Jon said flatly.
This man was different from the gentle and unsure son she’d talked to. This was a Seeker. Certain and in control. Elizabeth couldn’t help feeling proud. Even the lines of strain around his face didn’t detract from that.
Merron looked as though he were about to protest, but Elizabeth interrupted, “He’s right Merron. Going up against the gang of mercenaries with only six of us isn’t a good plan, especially not if they have magic. Personally, I’m wiped out after this. Other than a sword, I’m not going to be much help.”
Jon’s suggestions made sense. She wasn’t just agreeing because he was her son. She wondered if Merron would continue to argue, and if she was going to have to pull rank. Would her position as heir give her rank to pull?
Luckily, though Merron glared at her, he also nodded reluctantly, and she didn’t have to find out. “Fine then, we pull out. But we will be coming back in the morning.”
When they limped into the camp there was no sign of the any of the other Dome mages.
“What happened? I heard a loud bang?” Jake asked in concern.
Elizabeth sat down on a log, too tired to explain.
“There was an explosion, our target building. We don’t know what happened. Apparently at least one of the mages is dead.” Merron glanced at Jon, who had sagged onto a log, obviously still not believing him. “You haven’t seen the rest of the group?”
Jake shook his head.
Merron glanced over at Jon. “I still say we should have gone back.”
Jon didn’t respond. He stared at the fire in front of him, as though he didn’t hear them.
Elizabeth watched him with a heavy heart. Losing members of your team was always a hard blow.
Chapter 13 - Secrets
After she’d eaten, Elizabeth felt less weak, but knew she wouldn’t be up to any more substantial magic tonight.
“We have enough people for three teams of two for watches.” Merron said. “One of us from each team.”
Elizabeth volunteered for the first watch and was stupidly happy when Jon said he’d share it.
Merron didn’t say anything, but he looked at them both, eyes narrowed.
Elizabeth knew she was going to get questioned about this later. But after the events of the evening, her fear when Jon had been injured, and the knowledge that this trip was nearly over, she didn’t really care. This might be her last chance to talk to him in who knew how long.
Jon and Elizabeth sat by the fire as the rest of the camp slowly wound down for the night. They were a subdued lot, less than half the number there had been last night, the uncertainty of the evening weighing on everyone’s minds. Slowly, the noises of people getting ready for bed subsided, until there was just the creak of crickets to break the silence.
Once she was reasonably certain that the camp was asleep, Elizabeth asked quietly, “How do you know Carlis is dead?”
In the flickering light of the fire, Jon glanced over at her. For a moment, she thought he was going to answer, but instead he said, “I think we should check the perimeter. If any of those mercenaries survived, they were probably as unsettled by that explosion as we were.”
Elizabeth nodded, and rose. She understood immediately what he had left unsaid, that however he knew, he wouldn’t risk those sleeping in the tents hearing.
But he would tell her.
They walked together, hands on their swords, around the perimeter of the camp, neither speaking. Finally, they paused in the clump of trees, looking out over the moonlit plain to the quiet ruins. Behind them, an owl hooted.
Still silent, Jon reached inside his shirt, and pulled out a round medallion, slipping the chain over his head. He handed it to Elizabeth, still looking out towards the city.
As she turned the pendant over in her hand, Sean’s royal crest just visible under what looked like a blackened covering of soot, he said quietly, “Every Seeker wears a medallion, Sean has the linked pair to each one. Each Seeker pair’s medallions are linked as well. It should be gold. The black indicates that Carlis is dead.”
“Before or during the explosion?”
“Just before,” Jon said quietly.
So that was how he’d known. The other group must have faced greater opposition than they’d expected. Elizabeth handed the medallion back to him silently, and he replaced it around his neck.
“Do you think any of the warriors survived?” she asked.
“It seems unlikely at this point. They’d be here by now if they were able to be.”
“It’s possible they’re trapped somewhere,” Elizabeth suggested.
Jon shook his head. “Even if they were trapped, as long as they were conscious, t
hey could teleport out. There’s a minute possibility that they’re returned to the Dome, and will be back soon to fill us in, but I don’t think it’s likely.”
“What will you do?”
Jon sighed. “That’s what I’m trying to work out. I should go back and find out what happened, but it’s risky. We have no idea what went wrong, and the area could still be unstable.”
Elizabeth looked over at him, surprised at his hesitation. “You are worried about losing the rest of your team?” she asked.
Jon hesitated, then shrugged. “Of course. That isn’t what makes me hesitate though.”
“What is it then?”
“You.”
“Me?” Elizabeth asked in surprise. “Why me?”
He hesitated again, then said softly, “Sean charged me with an extra assignment, over and above finding these items. He said I had to be sure no harm came to you.”
“He… He said that?” Elizabeth asked faintly. Sean had given Jon specific orders to keep her safe? That was… most unlike him.
Jon nodded solemnly. “He most certainly did. No matter what else I had to sacrifice.”
“That’s why you pulled out this afternoon?” Elizabeth guessed. It was hard to think rationally when her heart was melting at the thought of Sean sending Jon to protect her.
Not that she needed protecting.
Jon nodded. “Though I still stand by the reasons I gave, we would have been no match for any opposition today.”
“So you’ll go back in the morning?”
“I don’t know. Part of me says yes, but part of me fears I could be putting you in danger. At least, if I’m right in my assumption you’d insist on accompanying us?”
Elizabeth laughed. “You are right indeed. It would look very strange if I remained behind. And there is no reason. Sean is being… silly. He can’t expect you to protect me from everything, it’s ridiculous. We all go, as expected, and find out what this was about.”
“I suppose if I leave, you’d go in anyway, wouldn’t you?” Jon said with a raised eyebrow.
“Of course.”
“Then I guess the only way I can protect you is to go too.”
Elizabeth shook her head in amusement. “If it helps you to rationalise it like that, then I guess it is.”
Jon grinned. “Since we’re on the topic of protecting you, is there something I should know?”
“What do you mean?” Elizabeth wasn’t quite sure that she liked the turn this conversation was taking.
“Why is Sean so concerned about you? I mean, I can understand he wouldn’t want you to get hurt, but this was quite a bit more emphatic than I would have expected for that.”
Elizabeth frowned. She could think of no reason for that sort of strange behaviour from Sean. Even if he cared for her more than she thought, it still didn’t make any sort of sense. “I have no idea. In fact, I was about to ask you the same question. It’s most unlike him.”
It was Jon’s turn to hesitate. He said nothing for a few moments, then asked, in an almost offhand fashion, “Is there anything between you? Now, I mean?”
Elizabeth wavered, strangely reluctant to tell him. Not even sure what she’d say if she did. But of all the people in her life, he was the only one who she could even talk about Sean to.
“He said he wanted to see me again,” she said finally.
Jon smiled. “That explains it then.”
Elizabeth wasn’t convinced. Sean had never made any attempt to protect her like this before. Why would he now? She didn’t have any answers for that, so she turned and scanned the empty plains in front of them, looking for any sign of movement in the ruined city. But there was none.
“You certainly know how to handle yourself under pressure,” Jon said eventually. “You had that barrier up before I even had time to work out what was going on.”
Elizabeth gave a small smile, “I’ve had a lot of experience. Not to mention a good teacher in the first place.”
“Sean?” Jon asked, but didn’t wait for an answer, “Not surprising really. From a few things he’s said, I gather you two go back a long way?”
Elizabeth hesitated for a moment, before nodding, “Yeah, a long way.”
The silence stretched out between them for a while, before Elizabeth said quietly, “We were interrupted yesterday, before I had a chance to explain.”
Jon looked at her for a moment, then shook his head. “You have no need to explain anything to me, Elizabeth. Just knowing you is more explanation than I ever hoped for.”
The temptation to take his offered out and leave things there was great. She’d hated herself ever since she’d realised what that fear driven decision had cost her all these years. Even more than she already had after deserting her daughters.
But if she was to accept his forgiveness, and maybe some sort of relationship in the future, it had to come with his full knowledge of what she had done.
A part of her was sure he’d never forgive her. How could he when she couldn’t forgive herself?
A part of her desperately hoped he would.
“It has to be said,” she said softly. “And I’m only going to say it once, so you’d better listen.”
Jon grinned slightly. “Yes, Mum.”
Hearing that name on his lips caused her heart to sing and cringe at the same time.
Would he still use it after she’d told him the truth?
There was only one way to find out.
“I said I was scared of having another baby, but even that doesn’t excuse what I nearly did.”
Jon listened silently, nodding encouragement.
“I had an appointment with a healer. I know it is illegal to… terminate a pregnancy, in the Dome, but there are some around who will still do it,” Elizabeth admitted quietly.
It hurt even to think of what she had nearly done. But she had to tell him. She wasn’t going to accept a relationship with him under false pretences. He had a right to know the truth, and be angry at her if that was how he felt.
She looked up at him, half expecting to see him drawing back, pulling away.
And his forehead was furrowed in a frown. He searched her face, as though he expected to find some redeeming quality there. “What happened?” he asked slowly. “What made you change your mind?”
“Sean did,” Elizabeth replied softly. She couldn’t even claim responsibility for that one. Not straight away.
“He convinced you to go through with the pregnancy?”
“Not convinced, ordered.”
For a brief moment, Elizabeth’s thoughts slipped into the past. Sean had shown up on her doorstep, and the rage on his face had told her he knew, even before he’d stalked into her house and told her flatly that she would not be attending that appointment, even if he had to lock her in a dungeon to prevent it. She suppressed a shudder, and pushed the memories away.
Jon’s expression was almost as pained as hers, and his expression was stiff as he turned away, staring out over the plains. “That’s why you left then,” he said, his voice dull. “You didn’t want me.” His voice wavered a little on the last sentence, and he took a deep breath.
His pain echoed the pain in her heart. The fact that she was the cause of it only made it worse. Elizabeth hesitated, but she needed to make it better, for him at least. She put one hand gently on his arm. “No,” she said softly. “It wasn’t like that. It was the idea of a baby I was scared of, not you. I was in a bad place, Jon. Freck, I’m not sure if I’m in a better one now, but I’m trying to be.”
He looked over at her, his expression guarded. “I can’t pretend to understand. I’ve never been in that position myself.” His voice was rough, and she could see he was trying to understand, but failing.
She wasn’t surprised. How could anyone understand the total fear of failure she’d felt, not to mention the fear of losing Sean over it. Turned out she’d done that anyway.
But that wasn’t the whole story.
She took a deep breath, an
d said quietly, “After you were born, when I held you in my arms, everything changed. I wanted you so much.”
“Really?” Jon asked, as though he found it hard to believe.
Elizabeth nodded. “In that moment, I would have given anything to be able to change what I’d done. But it was too late.”
This time, Jon’s face held a touch of sympathy. “What happened?”
Elizabeth shrugged, and tried to keep the surge of emotions the memory evoked out of her voice, “Sean wasn’t interested. He… he said it was too late.” Her voice broke slightly, and she struggled to regain her composure.
That was not easily done. Every time she thought of that moment, of how cold and distant Sean had been, how he’d taken Jon from her arms, ignoring her bitter sobs…
Tears pricked at the back of her eyes, and emotion welled up almost as strong as it had been then.
She took a deep breath, and forced it down. She managed a half casual shrug. “I guess he didn’t trust my emotions. I can hardly say I blame him. Things hadn’t exactly been rosy between us during the pregnancy.”
That was an understatement. Sean had barely said a word to her, though he had watched her like a hawk, barely leaving her alone for a moment.
Jon stared at her quietly in the moonlight for a moment, then reached over to give her a brief hug. The gesture, with its suggestion of forgiveness, was almost her undoing.
His words even more so. “I’m glad, Elizabeth. Not for what you’ve been through, but it’s nice to know, well, to know that I was wanted. By both you and Sean.”
Elizabeth returned the hug fiercely, words not coming through the threatening tears. Eventually she calmed enough to say, “You were very much wanted, by Sean, and by me, once I woke up to myself. One of my biggest regrets was not having had the chance to get to know you.”
“Well, it’s not too late you know?” Jon said with a smile.
Elizabeth smiled at him, her heart singing, “Really? You’d like that?”
“I’m here aren’t I?” Jon asked, returning her smile.
