by Rin Grey
Digger just shrugged and reached for another scone. “It was no trouble at all.”
Elizabeth had been gone a week but she suddenly felt on the outside of the conversation, and for a moment she felt a little sad. The feeling dissipated when Digger drew her into the conversation, asking, “So what exactly have you been up to while you were gone, Liz?”
It was the perfect opening, and Elizabeth felt only a twinge of guilt as she quickly took advantage of it. She explained briefly about the explosion, and Merron and Jocelyn’s resulting conclusions.
“Jocelyn thinks you double crossed them?” Gemma was quick to be indignant for her. “I can’t believe she’d even think such a thing!”
“Well, to be fair, it’s the mages they suspect, I only became involved when I backed them up.”
“Do you think they did it?” Digger asked, his expression unreadable.
“I really don’t know. It is possible, but then again, it’s possible they had nothing to do with it. I just don’t know.” She let the frustration she had been feeling about that question come through in her voice.
“Well, I suppose there isn’t much you can do about it, is there?” Gemma asked.
Elizabeth hesitated. It was the perfect opening, yet somehow she was reluctant to tell them her idea. Life had been so much easier before she felt the need to explain herself.
The expression on Digger’s face, as he watched her, still had a measure of reservation. They still needed to talk. Just not now. Not before she’d seen Sean. She needed to deal with that first.
Even so, she couldn’t bring herself to admit where she was going, despite the fact that it would mean nothing to either Digger or Gemma.
“No, there isn’t. But trying to convince Jocelyn of that is another matter. She wants us all back to discuss it yet again this morning.”
Gemma frowned. “But you’ve been away all week, surely she can wait a day or two?”
Elizabeth shrugged. “I guess these items we were after, whatever they were, were something important. She wanted everyone to stay last night, but we were just about asleep on our feet.”
“You’re not going to have to leave again straight away are you?” Mitch asked, his face clearly registering his disappointment. “I want to get back to my magic.”
Yet another responsibility she had to deal with. Another thing she didn’t want to face.
But her reluctance wasn’t Mitch’s fault, and she couldn’t help but smile at his eagerness. “No, this won’t take long. Then we need to start your exercises in control. The king will be sending someone next week to check on your progress.”
That promise, or threat, was enough to cause the boy to fall silent.
Gemma stepped into the silence to say, “What can you do anyway, even if the mages did take the items? It’s not like you can go into Linarra and take them back, is it?”
Elizabeth laughed. “No, no chance. I have no idea what Jocelyn’s plans are, but I suppose I should go and find out. I slept in so long, I’m probably late already.”
Gemma sighed, but didn’t raise any further protest. Elizabeth glanced over at Digger who was regarding her thoughtfully. He said nothing though, so she stood and went out to saddle Rianna.
She wasn’t surprised when Digger followed.
He stood at the stable door watching her. Feeling guilty for her deception, she busied herself with cinching the girth and checking the buckles.
It must have been her guilt that made her think he suspected something, for when he broke the silence, his thoughts were going in an entirely different direction. “Jocelyn’s lack of trust in you has upset you, hasn’t it?”
The thought was so unexpected that she paused to stare at him for a few moments. Then she turned away and shrugged, unwilling to let him see that his suggestion had unsettled her. “What do I care what she thinks of me?”
“Liz, I’ve known you for quite a while, and no matter what else I’ve seen, you’ve spent that time trying to do what is right. You’ve helped out people who couldn’t afford to pay you simply because they needed it, and you’ve turned down jobs that would have paid the rent for a year simply because you didn’t agree with their motives. Now, for whatever reason, you’ve allied yourself with your family and they don’t trust you. I find it hard to believe you don’t care.”
Elizabeth turned away, not wanting him to see the tears in her eyes. How could he do it? How could he still care about her, and believe she was someone she obviously wasn’t?
“Don’t, Digger.” Her voice was strangled. “Don’t put me up on a pedestal. I’m not who you think I am. Freck, for every good thing I’ve done, I’ve probably done three bad ones.”
“Not that I’ve ever seen,” Digger maintained stoutly.
Elizabeth turned to face him this time, and said flatly, “And what about the night before I left? Was that a good thing?” She felt a sense of righteous guilt at the hurt expression on his face. It only confirmed what she was saying. “I’m not the person you think I am,” she repeated.
Digger was silent for a few moments, then asked softly, “Did you double cross Jocelyn then?”
“No, I didn’t. But I don’t know what I would have done if I’d been asked to.”
That did it. Digger’s eyes widened, and he stared at her in shock. “You would have taken the mages side against your family?”
Elizabeth turned away. “I don’t know,” she admitted hollowly. Digger was right. She had worked hard all these years to do what she felt was right, what made her feel good about the work she was doing.
Until Sean came into the picture. She would throw everything to the wind for him.
Freck she was stupid sometimes.
Digger said nothing and, afraid to look at him for fear she’d see disappointment on his face, she put her hand on the pommel and was about to swing herself into the saddle when Digger came up behind her and put a hand on her shoulder.
She couldn’t hold it back any longer. An unwilling sob erupted from her throat, and despite her best attempt not to, she burst into tears.
Digger held her for a few moments while she cried, patting her back ineffectually. When she finally managed to contain her emotion to only a few muffled indrawn breaths, she pulled back.
The poor man looked so rattled, she had to smile through her tears. “Sorry,” she said softly. “I have no idea where that came from.”
“Are you all right, Liz?”
His soft question was nearly her undoing a second time.
She didn’t trust her voice to speak, sure if she tried the tears would start again, so she just nodded. Then drawing in a deep, shaky breath, she said, “I have to go. I’m already late.”
She could see the reluctance in his eyes, but he didn’t attempt to stop her. He just squeezed her shoulder again then stepped back, and this time she mounted Rianna successfully.
“I’ll only be a few hours.” She was relieved that her voice was even again. She was going to need to get some composure if she was going to face Sean today.
“Take care, Liz,” Digger said softly, and opened the stable doors for her to ride out.
She gave Rianna her head and galloped off, not game to look back, even though she was sure Digger was watching her.
Chapter 18 - Confrontation
The distance to Sean’s house wasn’t far enough for a good gallop, but even so, the wind had dried the tears on Elizabeth’s face and she was more composed by the time she dismounted to open the gate.
She felt the tingle of magic as she led Rianna through, and took a deep breath. Sean would know she was here. Now it remained to be seen if he would show up or not.
If he didn’t, would that be her answer?
No, she wouldn’t believe it until she talked to him. Not that he was going to come out and admit it. She was going to have to figure it out from what he didn’t say, not from what he did.
She walked around the back of the house and found a stable, complete with hay and oats for Ria
nna. She couldn’t help the smile that twisted her lips when she saw it. As far as she knew, Sean didn’t even own a horse, so it was reasonable to suspect that it was for her benefit.
That made her feel more hopeful of Sean’s eventual arrival. It was just a matter of time.
Trouble was, how much time?
She unlocked the door with the key and let herself in. This time, without Sean’s immediate presence to distract her, she had time to look around. She’d thought last time, with only a cursory glance, that there were no personal touches, but she realised she’d been wrong. There were no personal items, true, but she could see traces of Sean’s personality in the paintings on the wall, and the clean, neat lines of the furniture. The imprint was subtle, but it was there.
She slowly walked through the rest of the house. It was small, just the living area and kitchen, one room set up with a desk and chair, obviously an office, though there were no books or papers, and the bathroom and bedroom. She glanced into the bathroom, pleasantly surprised to see a shower set up in the corner opposite the bath. Would there be time for her to have a shower?
Although Selenthia had progressed enough to have running water since her childhood spent carting buckets of water for baths, there wasn’t enough pressure for a decent shower, and as for heating water, that was still rudimentary at best. Magic was much more efficient at these things.
Unable to put it off any longer, she opened the door to the bedroom and peeped in. The big bed was neatly made, certainly not the way they had left it last time, the pure white comforter neatly tucked in at the foot, around the four thick posts that held up the canopy.
She had vague memories of staring up at the filmy white drapes above only a little over a week ago, and felt heat flushing through her at the mere memory.
She wasn’t even going to think about that. Not until she had an answer out of Sean.
As though her thought had summoned him, she felt a surge of magic behind her and turned just in time to see him materialise in the middle of the room. She caught her breath and bit her lip in an attempt to stop the almost instinctive smile that tried to bubble to the surface just at the sight of him. The jolt of electricity that surged through her body was even harder to prevent.
“Sean,” she began, with no clear idea of exactly what she was going to say.
It was rather pointless anyway. Without waiting for her to say anything more, he crossed the few steps that separated them and kissed her hungrily, almost taking her breath away.
She’d wondered how she would react when she saw him, unsure if she would be angry or not. As her body melted against his of its own accord, she had her answer. It seemed that all her willpower went out the window when he entered the room.
She shouldn’t have been surprised, but she was a little disappointed in herself. There was every possibility he’d betrayed her, used her to betray her family, and here she was, kissing him back with an eagerness that matched his own.
Deliberately she thought about that fact, fanned her already simmering anger until she was able to summon up the resolve to pull back, if not out of his arms, at least clear of his insistent lips.
“Sean, we need to talk,” she said quietly.
“Can’t it wait?” Sean ran a hand suggestively down her breast, sending delicious shivers through her.
“No,” she said firmly, to herself as much as to him. There would be time for that later.
She hoped.
Sean sighed, but though he didn’t release her, his hands stayed chastely around her waist. “What is it?”
Now that the moment was there, she had no idea what to say.
How did you ask someone if they had set you up without risking them being offended if they hadn’t? In a brief moment of cowardice, she considered forgetting it, kissing him, and ignoring the whole thing. But she knew she would never forgive herself for not making at least some stand.
“I have to know. Were you responsible for the explosion at Anyir?”
A spark of annoyance flashed in his eyes, but he didn’t release her. “Did Jocelyn send you to ask that?”.
“No. Jocelyn didn’t send me. She has no idea I even know you. Though she and Merron were the ones who put the idea in my head. I was too… blinded… to even consider the possibility on my own.”
She knew her voice sounded bitter, knew that he would probably take it the wrong way, but it hurt too much to think that he would use her for her to hide it.
His arms tightened painfully around her waist, pulling her against him fiercely. But all he said was, “The deal was between Jocelyn and I, what happened does not concern you.”
She’d expected him to be evasive, but to try to pretend she had no part in it? Did he think she was a fool?
“Of course it concerns me, Sean. Freck, I practically told them to trust you. I backed up all Jon’s decisions. It never even for a moment entered my head that you might betray me.”
Her voice shook, and she fervently hoped she wouldn’t burst into tears as she had back with Digger. Not here, not now.
“I did not betray you, Elizabeth,” Sean maintained. “The deal was between Jocelyn and I.”
“Fine, you didn’t betray me, you used me instead,” Elizabeth said bitterly.
She and Sean had enough history, went back far enough, that he would know that hurt even more than it would normally.
He sighed heavily and kissed the top of her head. His voice was gentle when he spoke. “You won’t be able to sit on the fence forever, Beth. Eventually you are going to have to make a choice. Are you a Salinga, or a mage? Are you Jocelyn’s heir, or the mother of a Seeker?”
Elizabeth’s heart skipped a beat, and she stared at him in disbelief. A choice? This was no choice. She was both.
By birth, she was a Salinga, and much as she may disagree with them often, she could never truly change that. She was even beginning to think she could have a place here, with her family. That they might even accept her, despite her past.
Yet she was also a mage, and always would be, it was as much a part of her as the colour of her hair.
“Are you asking me to choose between them and you?”
He kissed her lips softly, undemanding, then said with a quiet certainty, “No, Beth, our relationship will continue, regardless of your involvement with your family. Though I have no hesitation in taking advantage of it if the opportunity arises.”
That he was so blatant about it took her breath away. Was he that certain of her?
Why would he not be? He must be able to see that she wouldn’t reject him.
Anger, at him, at herself, welled up in her, prompting her to say, “That goes both ways, right? You’ll be prepared for me to do the same thing.”
He put a hand under her chin, and raised her face until he was looking directly into her eyes. “No, Elizabeth. If you ever betray me, again, it is over. There will be no second chances.”
“Bastard,” Elizabeth said, but there was no heat to the words. How could there be when her heart was singing.
That was why she’d come then.
Not to find out if he had used her, but to find out if that was the only reason for the resumption of their relationship.
She already knew that she wouldn’t get another chance if she screwed up again. Throughout all their time together, he’d come and gone, but she’d always known he would be back. Until Jon. After that, she’d been sure she’d never seem him again, and then, miraculously, here he was. She wouldn’t risk losing him again.
She couldn’t bear it.
Sean hesitated, looking down at her, and she hoped her heart was not written on her face. “Don’t take it personally. My issues with your family go back before you were born.”
Elizabeth stared wordlessly at him at that pronouncement. She knew he was older than her, but that he had issues that were that old, and with her family of all people.
“Your issue can’t be with Jocelyn though, she’s younger than I am. Evelyn?”
&nbs
p; Somehow she couldn’t see that either.
A frown crossed Sean’s face. “Neither of them. With the man behind them. A man I believe, I hope, you have never met. And I hope you never do.”
Elizabeth stared at him blankly, struggling to take that in. The very idea went against everything she’d ever known about her family. A man behind the Salingas? How ironic. If it were true.
“The Salingas have always been matriarchal,” she insisted. “I’m sure I would know if there were a man involved.”
Even as she said the words, she wondered if she would. The Salingas had been so secretive she hadn’t even known they possessed magic. Was this any more surprising?
“It is a carefully hidden secret,” Sean said softly. “One I have no doubt will be revealed to you if you remain the heir. But I am telling you… I’m asking you… do not trust him, Beth.” There was a heat to his words that suggested long enmity, though she had no idea why, or how, he had been involved with her family.
A thought suddenly occurred to her and she pulled out of his embrace. He held her for just a moment, before reluctantly releasing her. She reached for his hand, and raised it to lightly trace the tattoo now visible around his wrist.
“It’s the same as Jocelyn’s, isn’t it? That’s why you hid it when you came to Asherad.”
Sean was silent, with that withdrawn look on his face. For a moment, she thought he was going to close up completely.
Instead, to her surprise, he sighed softly. “Yes,” he admitted.
The admission surprised her more than the fact he was admitting to. Her eyes met his. “What does it mean?”
“It’s old history, Beth. I don’t want to go over it.” He sounded… sad. Defeated.
Afraid?
Her legs suddenly felt weak. If Sean were afraid…
He took her hands, and stared intently into her eyes. “Beth, promise me, if… when the time comes, you won’t accept one of these.”
For a moment, she was confused. “One of what?”
