by Rin Grey
He held out his hand, wrist up, the tattoo clearly visible.
It was more faded than Jocelyn’s, and on the opposite wrist, but it’s permanence could not be questioned. “Why, Sean? What does it mean?”
“It doesn’t matter what it means, just promise me,” he demanded again.
As she hesitated, he continued, “If they… if he… tries to coerce you in any way, tell them it violates the terms of the agreement. That should be enough to make him back off. If it doesn’t, teleport to me. To my palace, or the king’s. We will see he doesn’t cause you problems.”
Elizabeth stared at him in shock. The king? Why would he care? What was going on? “What agreement?”
“It doesn’t matter, just remember it.” His voice bordered on frantic and with anyone else Elizabeth would have thought they’d lost it.
But this was Sean. Sean! To see him acting this way was enough to convince her.
“I promise,” she agreed readily. Anything to get him back to his normal, cocky, in control demeanour.
He bent to kiss her fiercely and suddenly she was swept up in an image so strong it took her breath away.
His lips were on her lips and his hand clasped hers. She could still feel the sting of the newly inscribed tattoo circling her wrist, and feel the echoing throb in his identical one.
His eyes were filled with unbridled love and passion and certainty, and she could feel the strength of his feelings almost as if they were her own.
The crowd around them was silent, as if to mark the solemnity of the occasion.
For some reason, she felt that this moment was significant, and that she should remember why…
The… vision? Memory? Whatever it was, passed when she struggled to work out why the occasion was so significant, but she was left with a feeling of joy and relief, not fear.
The man had been Sean, she was sure of it. So why was he so afraid of this?
She shook her head trying to clear the images. What was that all about? That wasn’t her memory, not anything that she had seen or even heard about.
Where had it come from? Had Sean somehow sent it to her? But that was impossible, magic simply didn’t work like that.
Sean watched her, concern on his face, but he didn’t say anything.
Somehow, she didn’t want to explain the vision to him. She was sure he would think her mad if she tried to explain.
Or worse, he might understand.
If he had an explanation, she didn’t want to hear it. Instead, she pushed the image away from her mind and snuggled close to him, trying to distract herself. Sean seemed amenable to that idea, and after holding her for a moment, bent and kissed her.
His lips were gentle, comforting… at first. Then as passion built in both of them, he grew more insistent. Elizabeth found her hands sliding down his back and pulling him closer. Her breath was coming in short gasps as he trailed a line of kisses down her neck and across her breasts.
“Beth…” he breathed her name softly into her ear and all other thoughts fled out of her head. She tugged at his shirt, pulling it out of his pants, as he slid her own shirt off her shoulders. She ran her hands over his chest, stopping briefly to tweak a nipple and smile at the responsive gasp he gave. He bent to take one of her nipples in his mouth and she quivered, hands tangled in his hair.
He stopped to pull her pants down, leaving them on the floor where she had been standing and carrying her to the rug in front of the fireplace. A casual wave of his hand coaxed the stacked firewood to burst into flame, casting a flickering light as he gently laid her on the rug.
As he slowly traced the curves of her body in the firelight, Elizabeth tugged at his pants, pulling them down just far enough that she could see him, gently run her hands up and down his hardness. He groaned and bent to kiss her, demanding now. With one hand, he expertly removed the rest of his clothing, not letting her go and lowered himself on top of her. She gasped softly as he parted her legs and without pause, slid gently into her.
She was ready and willing, rising to meet his urgent thrusts, calling out his name without reserve. Time and time again their bodies met in rising passion, until shuddering, Elizabeth was overcome with waves of ecstasy. A few moments later, Sean collapsed on top of her, his desire sated. Their naked bodies fitted together perfectly, their breathing in time for a few short minutes, before Sean slid gently to one side, lying raised on one elbow, his hands running over her stomach, gentle now.
His expression showed nothing but contentment, or was it more of a look of a cat who’d just helped himself to the cream?
She was sure hers was the same though, and she spent a few moments wishing she could just stay here, and pretend the rest of the world, and the responsibilities and guilt she would have to go back to, simply didn’t exist.
But unfortunately, it was not to be. Eventually, Sean sighed, as though he had been thinking the same thoughts, and said regretfully, “I have to go, Beth. I would stay, but I’m afraid that if I don’t put in an appearance at this party tonight, I’ll never hear the end of it.”
Elizabeth snuggled closer to him, and said teasingly, “And just who is big and powerful enough to make you concerned about a thing like that?”
Sean played with a lock of her hair, curling it around his fingers, not meeting her eyes. “It’s quite the opposite in fact. The guest of honour is a twenty-one-year-old boy.”
“A coming of age ceremony? Who’s important enough that you have to put in an appearance for?” Elizabeth was almost as surprised at that as she was at him letting the conversation continue this far.
Usually he didn’t talk about it, that other life that she wasn’t a part of.
“Actually, I’m the host, so my appearance is kind of obligatory. Otherwise, wild horses couldn’t drag me away right now.”
That revelation was enough to cause Elizabeth to stare up at him in disbelief. “You’re the host?”
Coming of age ceremonies were always hosted by the young adult’s family. She wasn’t exactly well versed in Cardinal etiquette, but she was reasonably sure there weren’t any exceptions.
Sean smiled in amusement, any trace of uncertainty gone. “The boy’s an orphan. His mother died last year, so there was no one else. She was a Mainstay mage, so we couldn’t leave his care to just anyone.”
A Mainstay mage? Well, that explained a little.
Mainstay mages were so called because they were the ones who had created the framework for the Dome the day it was built. The six most powerful mages at the time had stood at various points around the area controlled by Linarra, and had used their magic to arch up to meet each other in the sky. The princes had woven together the magic from the rest of the mages into the spaces in between, sewing them together in much the same way that Elizabeth had sewn the shield to protect the group from the hail.
From memory, there had been only one other female mainstay mage, though Elizabeth didn’t know her name. She managed to call up a vague memory of a dark haired woman. With a mother of that strength, the boy was probably quite powerful as well, thus needing a powerful foster parent.
It still didn’t explain why Sean had agreed.
“And you volunteered?” Elizabeth found it hard to keep the incredulous tone from her voice. Sean, voluntarily taking responsibility for someone else’s child?
When he apparently hadn’t even raised his own.
Sean shrugged. “It hasn’t been too arduous. I haven’t had to do more than check up on his progress at school every now and then and give him a room on the holidays. Now there is just this party, and then my responsibility is done.”
“And it makes you look good in the meantime,” Elizabeth said, finally understanding. That was what it always came down to, wasn’t it? That world was so different to anything she knew.
Sean raised an eyebrow. “That’s very cynical, my dear.”
“I prefer the term astute,” Elizabeth countered.
Sean laughed and kissed her. “It is refres
hing, Beth, to have someone call me out on my tactics. Not many would dare you know?”
Elizabeth shrugged. “You know where I am, if you ever need calling to account.”
He kissed her again, a slower, deeper kiss, then said softly, “I wish I could take you with me, I daresay it would liven up what will otherwise be a boring night.”
She was quite sure he was joking.
He was, wasn’t he?
Just in case, she quipped, “Just say the word, and I’m there.”
He kissed her again, and for a few moment she felt a rising excitement. She didn’t doubt even for a second what she would do if he said yes.
“I wish I could, Beth…” There was enough genuine regret in his voice to take most of the sting out of his words.
“But you’re a prince and I’m a nobody,” she finished for him, trying not to sound bitter.
It would always be that way. Nothing was going to change. Why couldn’t she just accept that?
“You are not a nobody,” Sean said firmly, and kissed her fiercely.
For a moment, she let herself get swept up in the heat of the moment. She’d never cared for a title, never coveted a position in the Cardinal as many other mages did. All she had ever really wanted was Sean.
Unfortunately, she could not have the latter without the former.
As his hand slid lower, inching between her legs, she groaned with desire, and let the last of her hurt go.
He was here, with her, right now. That was all that mattered.
He held her close while she moaned in release, murmuring words she barely even heard, tears wetting her eyes for the second time that day, then stroked her hair softly for a while, neither of them saying anything.
Finally, he kissed her gently and sat up, reaching for his clothes on the end of the bed. He didn’t say anything, he didn’t have to. Once he was dressed, he bent and kissed her again. A long lingering kiss, that somehow contained the promise of more to come. He stood looking at her for a moment, then without another word, teleported out of the room.
After he left she felt suddenly tired and deflated, and it was an effort to pull herself out of the bed and walk to the shower. She turned on the tap to see what the pressure was like, surprised and impressed that it was similar to that in the Dome where the water was pumped down from the mountain springs.
Trust Sean to have worked out a way to do it. She set some heating magic around the pipes and stood under the water, letting it wash hot and hard over her head and down her body. The intense heat of the water was a stark contrast to the cold feeling stealing over her.
When Sean was there, nothing else mattered, but once he left…
Whatever way she looked at it, she wasn’t being rational. Sean had as good as said he had used her to steal those items from Jocelyn, and it had made no difference at all to how she felt about him. Not one iota. She should be washing her hands of him and having nothing more to do with him.
So why did she still ache for his touch, and long to hear his voice?
She stepped out from under the water to soap herself up, the familiar scent of the sandalwood soap reminding her achingly of Sean.
“You’re a frecking idiot, Elizabeth,” she told herself out loud, and dispelled the magic heating the water and dunked her head under it again.
The cold water was no more help in bringing her to her senses than the hot had been.
Shivering, she stepped out of the shower and dried herself on a fluffy towel. Automatically, she used a tingle of magic to evaporate the remaining moisture in her hair and pulled the comb on the vanity through it a couple of times until it was vaguely neat.
She hung the towel back up and walked naked back into the living room, where the evidence of their lovemaking was impossible to ignore. The rug that had been so smooth lay tangled in a heap, her clothes strewn everywhere.
She sighed heavily.
Now that Sean was gone, now that his presence wasn’t here, filling her head with emotion and need, she knew this was a mistake.
What was she doing? There was nowhere for this to go. Sean was never going to offer her anything more than this. And while that had worked before, she had other responsibilities now.
Being with Sean could lead her to further betray Jocelyn. To further hurt Digger. To lose everything else she had.
She’d done that once before, when Sean had thrown her out of the Dome. She wasn’t sure if she could go through all that again.
And yet it was just as dangerous to focus only on everything here. None of that was going to last. Her magic would keep her alive long enough to watch Jocelyn and Gemma grow old and die. Mitch too. To see Digger grow old and feeble like George.
For the last five years, she’d tried not to think about that. She’d told herself that it wasn’t permanent, that she and Digger would go their separate ways as soon as… as soon as what she wasn’t sure.
She just knew it was going to hurt. All of it.
The only thing that would go on was her relationship with Sean.
A relationship that could very well be incompatible with everything she had here in Asherad.
Yet, she couldn’t bring herself to walk away. From either of them.
Both of them pulled her strongly in two different directions.
And she suspected Sean knew it. He’d said that eventually she would have to make a choice. Twenty years ago there would have been no question. Hell, even six months ago if someone had asked her to make a choice, she would not have hesitated to declare herself a mage, completely and utterly, with no reservations.
Until Mitch’s disappearance had broken through the barrier that had kept her away from her family all these years. Now that she had seen them, was there any way she could just leave them again?
She still had no idea how she could even begin to make that choice as she walked downstairs and saddled Rianna.
As she rode slowly back to Gemma’s house, it occurred to her that her relationship with Sean would probably go better if she weren’t in the Dome. He had a life there that she could never be part of, he’d made that clear. It would be better if she also had a life that he was not part of.
Then, when they were together, it could continue to be about just that moment, with neither of them thinking, planning, or hoping for a future that would never eventuate.
Chapter 19 - Explanations
Digger watched Mitch hanging around at a loose end for a while after Elizabeth left, getting under his mother’s feet, until she sent him up to his room to study. He could sympathise with the boy’s feelings, they mirrored his own.
Everything had been left unsettled when Elizabeth had left. He’d thought that now she was home, they could talk, maybe find some way to resolve this. He hadn’t expected her to leave again so soon. And her bursting into tears had thrown him completely.
In all their years together, he’d never seen her shed so much as a tear.
He’d once thought he knew her well. Oh, he’d known she had secrets, but he’d never in his wildest dreams expected something like this. He’d learnt more about Elizabeth in the last few weeks than he had in the previous five years. Still, he felt no closer to understanding who she really was.
She was holding back from him. She always had. As though she was afraid to let him in close. He was beginning to get an idea of why.
“Is Mamma all right?” Gemma’s voice broke into his thoughts.
Digger hesitated. Gemma had to have more of the story than he did. Maybe she had some idea what was up with Elizabeth. “Not really. She was pretty upset about something.”
Gemma frowned, drying a cup and putting it back on the shelf before saying, “She did seem a little put out. I can’t believe Jocelyn suspects she had something to do with things going wrong.” Gemma sounded indignant.
“She was more than put out,” he said softly. “She was in tears right before she left.”
Gemma looked surprised, but not as much as Digger had been. Probably she’d ha
d more chances to see her mother cry than he did. Somehow though, he couldn’t even begin to picture her in tears over a baby who would not sleep as he remembered his mother being a few times when he and his sister were young.
“Of course she was upset,” Gemma said firmly. “Anyone would be. Jocelyn is being completely unreasonable. I can’t believe she doesn’t trust Mamma.”
“Maybe,” Digger agreed. But somehow, he couldn’t see it. The Elizabeth he knew wouldn’t have burst into tears just because someone didn’t trust her. She would have shrugged and moved on. Of course, this was slightly different. Jocelyn wasn’t just anyone. She was family. “What was the relationship between them like before this?” he asked curiously. Maybe the answer was there.
Gemma looked more surprised at that than she had at her mother crying. “There was no relationship. Mamma left before Jocelyn was even born.”
Digger stared at her, trying to take that in. He wasn’t too good on ages, but he would have put Jocelyn at around the same age as Gemma. How could Elizabeth have left before she was born?
His confusion must have shown on his face, for Gemma explained further. “Mamma left us when I was a year old. Tasha was three. Jocelyn wasn’t born until a year later.”
Digger stared at her in stunned silence. He was beginning to get some inkling of what caused Elizabeth’s distress. He’d imagined some sort of falling out with her family, but never had it occurred to him it would have been when Gemma was just a baby. “Who’s Tasha?” he asked faintly.
“Tasha was my sister. She died a couple of years ago in an accident,” Gemma said sadly.
Memories of a message that had arrived three years ago that had sent Elizabeth out for several days, and had her arrive home drunk surfaced. “So that is what upset her,” Digger said, suddenly understanding.
“What do you mean?” Gemma asked.
“About three years ago, Elizabeth got a message and…” he didn’t think he should tell Gemma about the drinking for some reason, “Well, it obviously upset her, although she wouldn’t talk about it.”
“That would have been it then,” Gemma said quietly.
