by Rin Grey
She wished, briefly and pointlessly, that her life had been different. That she could have enjoyed this moment without the fear of hurting those she cared about.
But she couldn’t say nothing, no matter how much she wished she could. She owed the truth to Digger, and to Sean.
“Sean? I… I’m not sure it’s yours.”
She waited for his expression to change, but to her relief, it didn’t. “Oh, it’s mine. I wouldn’t be here otherwise.”
A surge of relief went through her, and though she expected it, she was surprised by its intensity. She wasn’t sure how much was for him taking it so well, and how much was for knowing it was his, but she didn’t care right now.
She took a deep breath and started to say something, she wasn’t even sure what, but instead she couldn’t hold back the tears. She turned away, embarrassed about crying. She never cried, especially not in front of Sean.
But he pulled her close and held her with surprising gentleness.
She resisted, unable to let herself relax.
Memories plagued her of the last time this had happened. She’d cried then too, but for a different reason. Her pregnancy with Jon, and her reactions to it, had almost destroyed things between them. For twenty years she’d been sure it had ruined any chance forever.
She hoped with all her heart that this time would be different. It had to be. She didn’t think she could go through that again.
Somehow, Sean’s hand patting her back tugged at her heart. He’d remained stony faced throughout her entire pregnancy with Jon, but she knew it hadn’t been easy on him either.
He was here. And he wasn’t angry at her. That had to signify that this time could be different, didn’t it?
Could she give up without even trying?
When she had cried herself out, she was exhausted again. Sean wordlessly picked her up, despite her murmured protests, and carried her in to the bed, tucking her in gently despite her objections.
“Sleep, Elizabeth.”
“But Sean, there’s so much we need to talk about…” She felt a moment’s panic, but was slightly calmed by his hand on her arm.
“It will wait, you need to rest. I’ll be here when you wake.”
She hesitated, looking up at him, only slightly reassured. She couldn’t help being half afraid he’d disappear or whisk her back to the Dome before she could tell Digger.
He bent and kissed her gently. “I’m not going anywhere, I promise. Now sleep.”
Finally comforted, she drifted off into a relaxed sleep.
She awoke several hours later, feeling much better. Physically at least. She’d forgotten how draining the early weeks of pregnancy were. Even her magic couldn’t help her with that.
The room was empty, and she had a moment’s concern that Sean had disappeared despite his promise. But she found him easily enough in the kitchen. Her stomach grumbled in hunger when she realised he was cutting up fresh fruit. He looked up when he saw her and smiled. “Hungry?”
She nodded eagerly, came across to the table, and started eating. Sean watched in satisfaction.
Her stomach satisfied, she could think of more abstract things. She looked over at Sean, who was still watching her, his gaze intense.
“So, what do we do now?” he asked quietly.
His question dredged up all her fears and worries.
Did she think she was really fit to be a mother? She’d failed twice, first with her girls, then with Jon. She suspected she had no maternal instincts at all.
And yet, deep within her a longing stirred—not just for Sean, but also for this baby.
That thought terrified her too. If she let herself love her, it would hurt all the more if she lost her. She pushed that thought away quickly. It wasn’t going to happen. She had control of her magic now, had for years.
And Sean appeared to be willing to listen to her.
If only she knew what to tell him. Her heart was in turmoil, a million thoughts running around in circles, running into each other.
Elizabeth sighed softly. “I honestly don’t know, Sean.”
“Do you want the baby?” he asked, his expression unreadable.
“Yes!” Elizabeth answered quickly, not wanting him to doubt that for a second.
He smiled. “Good. Then as long as you are planning on coming back to the Dome, I doubt we’ll have too many differences of opinion on the matter.”
She’d expected that requirement and nodded, saying quietly, “I’ll have to explain to my family.”
Sean nodded. “Of course,” he agreed. Then he stepped around the table and lifted her chin up with one finger. “But be sure you make it clear to Jocelyn that my daughter is not, and never will be, a Salinga—heir or otherwise.”
His face was deadly serious. Almost angry. Elizabeth’s heart fluttered at the intensity in his eyes. For a moment, she thought she caught a glimpse of something more. But before she could even guess what, it was gone. He just stared at her, waiting for a response.
Elizabeth swallowed, then nodded. “Of course, Sean. That goes without saying.”
He smiled, the strange intensity gone, and Elizabeth remembered something he’d said earlier, “You said daughter… It’s a girl?”
Sean nodded, “Yes, a girl. Glenin.”
He’d been like that with Jon too, choosing a name as soon as he’d known. Elizabeth might have felt excluded, but she was too relieved that he was happy to care about naming rights.
“You sound like you’ve been planning that for a while,” she said curiously. “How long have you known?” She wasn’t overly surprised. Sean often seemed to know things she didn’t think he should. She’d given up asking him how.
“A little while. Do you like it?”
“Glenin,” she said, trying the name out for size. He’d sidestepped her question, but she let it slide for a moment. Instead she said, “It’s nice.”
The silence stretched out between them, and Elizabeth knew she’d regret it if she didn’t ask. So finally she said quietly, “Why didn’t you tell me, if you knew?”
Sean shrugged, “I was waiting to see what you did.”
Testing her. She didn’t say it though. Could she blame him for wanting to know how she would react?
Elizabeth was aware of the yawning gulf between them but wasn’t sure how to bridge it.
Sean solved the problem by kissing her gently and saying quietly, “I’m glad you came back though.”
He’d said that when he had first arrived, and she hadn’t understood the implication behind it. It made more sense now.
He kissed her gently for a while, holding her close, undemanding. She relaxed against him, letting him mostly support her, enjoying the moment of closeness.
Predictably though, his kisses, no matter how gentle, started to arouse her. She put her arms around his neck, and her kisses became more insistent. He responded in kind for a moment, then pulled back to look at her. “Beth? Are you sure you want to…?”
She laughed softly, “I’m pregnant, Sean, not an invalid.” Then it occurred to her that maybe he didn’t want to. Memories of her last pregnancy came flooding back, and she started to pull away.
His arms tightened around her. “Beth, I didn’t mean…” He swore softly, and instead of trying to explain, kissed her with a passion that left no doubts as to his desires.
Afterwards, they lay together, Sean gently running his hands across her body. She felt relaxed and a little sleepy. Concerning considering that she’d only been awake a few hours. She knew she could probably sleep for several more hours cuddled up against him.
“Elizabeth, I’m afraid I won’t be able to spend as much time with you as I did last time. I have a lot more things going on at the moment,” he said softly.
Reality intruded with a crash. Of course he couldn’t be with her. He had a wife.
For a moment, she felt an intense jealousy for the woman in a position she’d never have. One she knew, deep down, she wanted.
&nb
sp; She tried to hide her bitterness as she said, “I know.”
“Are you going to be all right with that?” Sean probed.
“Do I have a choice?” This time, the bitterness wasn’t so hidden.
Sean was silent, then said quietly, “Elizabeth, I stand to lose quite a fortune if I leave Senika now rather than at the end of our term. Which is a minor concern beside the fact that Jon is still at home, and will be for the next six months at least, while the house he has been planning is built. He’s an adult now, granted, but I’d still rather he not spend those six months alone with Senika.”
Elizabeth hesitated, fighting her desire to forgive him. To agree just so that they could go back to being happy together, talking about their baby.
She hadn’t even hoped to have this much. She wasn’t going to waste this by wishing for something unobtainable. She let the feeling go and nodded. “Of course, Sean. He needs you. I’m an adult, and I’ve been on my own a long time. I’ll be fine.”
Sean hesitated a moment, then gently cupped her cheek. “I should never have taken him away from you, Elizabeth. You would have been a much better mother than Senika. Can you ever forgive me?”
Elizabeth stared at him, unable to believe what he was saying.
It was the closest thing she’d ever heard to an admission of regret at his own part in the matter. One she’d never expected to hear.
One that was more dear to her than anything else he’d ever said.
“Of course,” she managed to get out.
She only wished she had his confidence in her abilities as a mother.
He held her close then, kissing her hungrily. It was a long time before either of them said anything more.
Finally, reluctantly, he kissed her again and sat up. “I have to go, Beth.” He pulled on his clothes slowly, leaning back for one more kiss as she stretched lazily on the bed.
He looked down at her for a moment, then said quietly, “I’ll see you in the Dome in a week?”
It was phrased as a question, but Elizabeth wasn’t fooled into thinking he was asking her.
She nodded. “I’ll be there.”
He nodded once more and didn’t bother with doors. He winked out of sight.
Once he was gone, Elizabeth wasn’t sure if she wanted to laugh or cry. Instead, she got up and had a long, hot shower before dressing and heading reluctantly out.
Once out on the street, Elizabeth hesitated before turning away from Gemma’s house, towards the Salinga estate. She had been due at work nearly four hours ago. Jocelyn would be wondering where she was, so she might as well get telling her over with first.
Chapter 11 - Temptation
Jocelyn signed her name on the last of the orders with a flourish, then leaned back in her chair with a sigh. It had been one of those days. From Elizabeth’s inexplicable absence, right up until Melana had inadvertently triggered a booby trap on one of the journals less than an hour ago, absolutely nothing had gone right.
At least all was quiet now though. She glanced at the clock, realising she had missed lunch. She should eat something. She also should find out what had happened to Elizabeth. Her rebel aunt was not at all the sort of heir Jocelyn would have chosen, had it been up to her. Keeping her in line was going to be a full time job.
As though summoned by her thoughts, the door opened, and Elizabeth entered without ceremony.
Jocelyn opened her mouth to reprimand her, then closed it with a sigh. What was the point?
Elizabeth threw herself carelessly into the chair opposite Jocelyn and said quietly, “I have a problem.”
Jocelyn bit back a laugh. And here she’d thought she was the one with all the problems. “I should hope so. And it better be something major to explain your tardiness.”
She wasn’t prepared for Elizabeth’s blunt answer. “I have to return to the Dome.”
A kernel of dread knotted itself in the pit of Jocelyn’s stomach. “Return to the Dome? You mean for a couple of weeks, right? Melana explained about the anti-aging ritual to me…”
Elizabeth interrupted her. “No, I mean permanently.”
Jocelyn stared at her in disbelief. This was what she’d been afraid of. Why she hadn’t wanted Elizabeth as the heir. She knew the woman was flighty. She’d run away from her own family, for goodness sake. Of course she had no loyalty to the position that had been entrusted to her.
She’d even told him that. But would he listen to her? No, of course not.
“That’s not possible. Your position as heir requires your presence here,” she said flatly.
“I know. That’s where my problem comes in.”
Jocelyn bit back a sigh of frustration. This was not going to go well, but she had to at least try.
“What’s so urgent that it requires your immediate return?” Jocelyn demanded. “You left the Dome years ago. Why the need to go back now?”
Maybe, if she’d initiated Elizabeth properly earlier, this wouldn’t be happening. Perhaps there was still time?
“No,” the voice said firmly in her head. “Elizabeth must be free to choose her own path.”
That was what he’d said last time. Jocelyn frowned in annoyance. No one had given her that option. And now he just wanted her to make this work, while tying her hands. “Then we are going to lose her.”
“So be it.”
So be it? He was getting all fatalistic now? After all the effort Jocelyn had put into getting Elizabeth to this point, he was just going to let her walk out?
Elizabeth still hadn’t replied, a look of indecision on her face. It was the first sign of weakness she’d shown since she arrived, and Jocelyn pounced on it. “I think you at least owe me an explanation.”
She wasn’t prepared for Elizabeth’s blunt answer.
“I’m pregnant.”
Pregnant! The word spiralled in Jocelyn’s mind, bringing the first ray of hope in the conversation. “That’s no reason to leave. In fact, it is perfect. The succession is assured for the next generation.”
“I’m afraid not, Jocelyn.” Elizabeth’s voice was apologetic, but the expression on her face wasn’t.
“What do you mean? What possible connection can there be between returning to the Dome and your pregnancy? You can see that we have perfectly good mages out here. You even brought Mitchell home from the Dome.”
“That was different. This baby’s father is in the Dome.”
That made no sense. Jocelyn was sure Elizabeth had a boyfriend. She could picture his presence in several circumstances, though she couldn’t for the life of her recall his name. One thing she was certain of though… “He’s not a mage.”
Elizabeth winced. “Digger, unfortunately, isn’t the child’s father.”
“Oh.” It took a moment for that to sink in. Apparently she wasn’t the only one who Elizabeth was causing trouble for. “Who is then?”
Elizabeth was silent, a play of emotions crossing her face. Jocelyn expected to be told roundly that it was none of her business, but instead…
“Prince Sean Veryn,” Elizabeth said quietly.
It took a few seconds for the name to sink in, and even then, Jocelyn found it hard to believe.
She’d seen the prince and Elizabeth sitting in the same room, with no hint that they even knew each other.
But if it was true…
“Prince Veryn?” Jocelyn repeated furiously. “How? Did he use some magical trick?” She hoped he did. Otherwise, she was going to look very foolish. If Elizabeth had been in league with the prince from the beginning…
“I’m afraid I can’t claim anything so exonerating. My relationship with the prince preceded his business with you.” Elizabeth’s words were matter of fact, and a little defiant. Typical of her behaviour since the beginning.
It had to be true.
Jocelyn’s stomach dropped. How could she have been so foolish? Losing yet another heir seemed minor in comparison to this betrayal. She swore. “You lied to me. You knew about the set-up from the start.
You were involved in it even.” It was the only thing that made any sense, and even then Jocelyn found it hard to believe.
Elizabeth winced. “I swear I was not. In fact, despite what I said earlier, I’m no longer sure there was any set-up. Not that I would put anything past Sean.” She gave a wry laugh.
As though any of this was funny.
“And yet, despite that, you choose to go to him now? It doesn’t leave much question about where your loyalties lie.”
“Unfortunately that’s been determined for me with this pregnancy.”
Was that a note of regret she heard in Elizabeth’s voice?
Jocelyn hesitated, this time unsure if she should pounce on it. If Elizabeth had slept with the man who had betrayed them, and had no regret about it, then did Jocelyn really want her here?
But he’d been insistent on her as his choice, as though there was something only she could do. No matter what her personal feelings, Jocelyn had a job to do. And the consequences of her success or failure affected far more than just her own life.
“There is always a choice, Elizabeth,” Jocelyn corrected. “You’re choosing to leave. The choice to stay is equally available.”
Elizabeth laughed. “Do you plan to stand up to one of the Dome’s most powerful mages when he comes looking for his child?”
Jocelyn regarded her thoughtfully. Would it sway her? She raised an eyebrow. “I might be persuaded.”
Elizabeth, of course, outright laughed at her. She had no idea.
“Not alone of course,” Jocelyn said calmly, “but I believe we could summon up enough backup to protect you, if you chose to stay.”
Now it was Elizabeth’s turn to look thoughtful. “Just who is behind the Salingas?” she asked out of the blue.
She was quick, Jocelyn had to give her that.
“Careful, Jocelyn,” the voice warned.
“How can she be free to make her own choice if she doesn’t know she has a choice?” Jocelyn demanded. “She needs to know we can protect her if she chooses to stay. If she isn’t aware of that, we could lose her for all the wrong reasons.” She wasn’t even sure what those reasons were, but the voice had told her to make Elizabeth the heir. That had to mean she was important somehow, didn’t it?
