by Rhian Cahill
She hadn’t answered her friend and wouldn’t. Not until she sorted things out with Rylan.
Spying her phone on the back of the toilet, she shook her head and scooped it up. There were several notifications of missed messages and calls. The messages were all from Alyssa, as well as one of the calls. The other two calls were from Rylan. She debated listening to the voice mails before deciding to go to the source and return his call.
It rang five times before he picked up. “Hey,” he gasped, clearly out of breath.
“Sorry. Am I interrupting?” Stuart had always—No! None of that.
“No, no. I left my phone inside, and I was out the back. Had to run.” He sucked in a deep breath and chuckled. “I think I need to up my fitness training. What I’m doing obviously isn’t cutting it.”
Mazey thought whatever he was doing now did a great job of keeping Rylan in shape, his body was a perfect specimen of male anatomy, but that probably wasn’t what he meant or wanted to hear. “Okay, well, I wanted to return . . . No, actually, I was going to call you. I need to apologize for earlier.”
“For what? You didn’t do anything wrong, Maz.” His words sounded genuine enough, but she still felt as though she’d slighted him in some way.
“No. Not really, but I wasn’t wholly honest with you about why I needed to leave. I did need to do laundry, but that isn’t why I left in such a rush.”
“It’s fine.”
“It’s not, Ry. I panicked and probably not for the reasons you think.” She breathed deep and used the air to push the words out. “I’d like to explain it to you. In person. Would you come over for dinner?”
“Sure. Want me to pick up something?”
“No, no, I can cook.”
“Don’t go to any trouble.”
“It’s no trouble. I was planning to cook for myself anyway, and I always make extra to freeze for the days I don’t feel like cooking.”
“At least tell me what to bring to go with it. Wine is out, but maybe I could pick up dessert or bread or . . . hell, milk?” He laughed. “I feel bad coming empty-handed.”
“Just bring your patience and understanding. It’s all I really need or want, Ry.”
“Maz, you already have those.”
Smiling, she blinked stinging eyes. “Thanks.”
“Okay, what time do you want me there?”
“Come over whenever.” Dinner wouldn’t take much effort, and they could talk while she cooked. Or before. It didn’t matter as long as she opened up to him.
“All right. I’ll see you in about an hour. I need to put away the mower and edger before I shower.”
“Oh, I did interrupt you!”
Chuckling, he said, “No, you didn’t. I was done, just switched off the mower when you called. It’s the only reason I heard my phone.”
“If you’re sure. I can wait to start dinner if you have more to do.”
“The back yard is done, and the front can wait until Thursday or Friday.”
“Okay. See you when you get here.”
“See you in a bit. And, Maz, you don’t owe me an apology or an explanation.”
“I do. I’ve asked you to be honest. I need to reciprocate.”
“Well, don’t feel as though you have to tell me anything if you don’t want to.”
“I don’t feel forced. I want to tell you, Ry.”
“In that case, I look forward to learning more about you.”
She couldn’t say she looked forward to telling him, but she needed to do it. For him and her. If she didn’t voice her concerns and the reasons for them, they’d never be able to take their relationship further. “See you soon.”
“Soon,” he said before hanging up.
Tucking her phone into her pocket, she headed for the kitchen, mentally running through what she had on hand to go with the chicken she had taken out of the freezer earlier. She needed to check the pantry for some spices, but she was pretty sure she had what she needed to make chicken curry with rice.
She’d gotten the recipe from one of her nursing colleagues years ago. It was quick and simple and delicious. Perfect for cooking and serving when you didn’t want or have a lot of time to spend preparing or watching.
She wanted to give Rylan and their conversation all the attention it deserved.
She could only hope once she’d revealed her part in being the other woman, he would still want to be with her. A lot of people had blamed her for Stuart’s cheating. Not caring she was clueless until the moment he had been brought into emergency on a gurney yelling for his wife and children.
Although the blame she’d heaped on herself had been far greater than what others had aimed her way.
She’d been guilty by ignorance, and as long as she lived, she’d never forgive herself for that.
30
He didn’t know what he expected Mazey to tell him. But it wasn’t that she’d been in a relationship for six years. Or that the man she’d been with had been married the whole time. “You were engaged to a guy who was already married?”
“You have to understand. If I’d known, even suspected, I never would have continued to see him, and I definitely wouldn’t have accepted his ring.”
Rylan believed her. He could see the distress in her gaze, the guilt she still felt over her part in his deception. “How . . . ?”
She took a deep breath. “We lived in different cities, different states. I met him through work and, to be honest, my first impression of him was that he was a bit of a pompous ass, a little wrapped up in his own worth.” She shrugged. “I’m not sure why I said yes when he asked me to dinner the first time. It was months after we’d met, and I don’t even know how he got my number.”
It sounded to Rylan like the guy would have done whatever it took to get what he wanted. “You didn’t give it to him?”
Shaking her head, she frowned. “No. And now that I’m out of the situation, I can see there were a few things he knew about me that I’d never told him. Like my address.”
“He stalked you? Pressured you?” Had this guy been abusive?
“No. No, not at all in the way you think when someone says they’re being stalked, but I guess he must have to some degree. He had my phone number and my address, he knew my age, where I’d gone to school, that I had no family.”
Sounded like stalking to him.
“The day he asked me out, and I accepted, he sent me flowers, a huge assorted bouquet in a crystal vase. I never thought about how he managed to do that when I hadn’t told him where I lived.”
“So, he’s the reason you left LA?” Rylan asked, putting down his fork. The delicious meal she’d served no longer held his interest.
“Yes.”
“Okay. And what does that have to do with today?” He’d told her he didn’t want to know anything she didn’t want to tell him, but he had questions. So many questions. The ones about them should be safe territory, and hopefully, her answers would give him information about her past.
Mazey took a sip of water and licked her lips before answering. “I realize now that I let him rule my life. He told me how to dress, what to eat, what promotions I should apply for at work. He even picked out my apartment when I had to move a few years ago.”
Ah. He got it now. “And you thought I was doing that? Today, when I asked about the baby’s room.”
Nodding, she gave him a tiny smile. “I know you didn’t tell me which room to choose for the nursery. You were asking what I thought and telling me what you were thinking, which is what I want to happen between us. Something you said triggered me, and I panicked.”
“I’ll never tell you to do something unless it’s a matter of life or death. I’ll ask, I’ll suggest, and I might argue for those things on occasion, but I will never, ever force you to do what I want.”
“I know.”
“Good to hear. I’ll try to remember to make clear what’s a question or suggestion from now on.”
“No, you don’t have to do th
at. I need to remember you’re not . . .” She bit her bottom lip. She hadn’t said the guy’s name, it was as though she couldn’t. “This is a completely different situation. You’re nothing like him.”
It was, and he owed her a bit of his past too, except he didn’t want to talk about his ex-wife right now. He wanted to concentrate on Mazey and making sure she knew he wasn’t going to be angry at her for any emotion or reaction she might have. Especially as pregnancy hormones raged through her body.
He’d done a lot of reading since they learned they were going to be parents. He wanted to know everything she might experience as well as everything she would. It had been eye-opening, for sure, and exciting too. He planned to enjoy every up and down experience their child brought them. And that included the deepening of his relationship with Mazey.
Rylan reached over and placed a hand over hers, then waited for her gaze to connect with his before he said, “You’re entitled to have misgivings about everything right now. We’re in a position that neither of us chose, and while we’re not angry about it, it’s still a hell of an adjustment. We were just getting to know each other, and now we’ll need to trust each other implicitly. That’s a big ask when we only met two months ago.”
“It is. But it seems like I’ve known you longer than that. I might be shaky on a few things, but I feel comfortable, safe, with you. I do trust you. Maybe it’s because we work together in high-stress situations. I don’t know. And, Rylan, you’re entitled to doubts too.”
“Yes, I am, and I’ll voice them when I do. Right now, nothing comes to mind.”
“I’d like to wait a few more weeks to make decisions on where I’ll live, what room you should set up as a nursery, etcetera. I think we should concentrate on us for now. See if what’s between us will work beyond being parents.”
“I can agree to that. So, the pregnancy is a secret then?” Not that they’d told anyone yet. Well, he hadn’t.
“Yeah, I think it’s best to not reveal that part of our relationship yet. At least until the twelve-week mark.”
“I read that. That we should wait until you’re into the second trimester before announcing to the world we’re expecting.”
“You read that?” She gave him a smile. “You seem to be doing a lot of reading.”
He rolled his eyes. “You have no idea.”
“Freaking you out a little?”
“Actually, no. But consider me enlightened. More than half of what I’ve learned has blown my mind. Having a baby isn’t simple.”
“No. It isn’t.”
“We’ll need to find you a doctor. There’s no rush, but we should do it in the next few weeks.”
“I’ve done some research on that.”
“Yeah.” He grinned. “I guess I’m not the only one reading.”
“No.” She pushed to her feet, pulling her hand from beneath his. “Wait here.”
She disappeared into the hall, and Rylan got up to clear their plates. He didn’t think either of them would eat any more tonight. He’d get a start on the dishes while he waited for her. Scrapping their plates, he glanced around and noticed Mazey had already cleaned up what she’d used to prepare dinner.
Smiling, he thought about her neatness. She was one of those people who liked everything to have a place and everything to be in it. If she did move in with him, there wouldn’t be too much arguing over that. The army had trained him well. He liked things neat and tidy too.
“Here.”
Rylan turned to find her standing behind him, a book held out toward him. “What’s this?”
“I ordered it the other day. I haven’t read much, but I’ve marked some places with sticky notes. I’m going to compile a list of questions for the doctor.”
“Oh.” He took the book, What to Expect When You’re Expecting, and smiled at the little tabs sticking out of the top. “Jeez, it’s heavy.”
“I got the hardcover because I figured it would be getting a bit of use.”
Rylan nodded as he flicked through some pages. “There’s a lot in here.”
“It’s one of the most recommended books on pregnancy. There’s a journal you can buy too, but I thought we could start with this and see if we want to track everything in a journal.”
“Should I order my own copy? You’ll want it on hand.” He glanced up at her.
“I think we can manage with a single hard copy, but maybe you should get the digital version?”
Nodding, he said, “Yeah, that would work.” He’d grab it later tonight when he went home. He’d order her the journal while he was at it, she might not be sure about recording every detail now, but he thought she’d want to eventually. Knowing her, she’d want it later when their child was older so she could look back and remember all the important milestones. “Do you want to sit down and go over some of this before I head home?”
“It’s getting late. We both have to be up early, so maybe we could have dinner together on Thursday night and go through it?”
He grinned. “It’s a date.” Snapping the book shut, he placed it on the counter and reached for Mazey. “Come here. Give me a hug before I go.”
She wrapped her arms around his middle and rested her cheek on his chest. “I’m sorry about today.”
“Nothing to be sorry for.” He held her tight. “There are going to be plenty more times when you feel trapped or overwhelmed or both. I’m not going to get angry about it now or in the future. Everything will be okay. We’re in this together.”
31
She was nervous. Her palms were sweating, and the nausea she thought had settled was back in full force.
“Calm down. Everything will be okay. He’s not going to fire either of us. If he changes our shifts, we’ll work with it.” Rylan rubbed his hands up and down her arms. “Take a deep, slow breath, Maz.”
He was right. If she didn’t get control of herself, she’d pass out. Drawing in a long breath, she reminded herself there was nothing in her contract about fraternizing with colleagues. She’d gone over the document again to double-check this morning before Cochran had arrived.
“Are you sure there’s nothing in your contract forbidding this?” she whispered. “I checked mine again, so I’m good. I think.”
His hands continued their soothing motion on her arms, and he bent his knees to bring their eyes level. “There is nothing in my contract about dating a colleague. There’s also nothing in the base manuals. And I checked the relevant sections thoroughly.”
“Okay. Okay. Then we should be fine.” Nodding, she added, “We will be fine.”
“Yes, we will. In more ways than one.”
She didn’t get a chance to ask him what he meant by that because their boss called them in. Rylan indicated she should go in ahead of him, and she took a moment to pull in another deep breath. There is nothing to worry about. Everything will be okay.
“What can I do for you two?” Cochran didn’t look away from his computer. “I’ve got to work out what to do about this training session Kent can no longer attend.”
“I can do it. If it doesn’t affect a shift,” Rylan said beside her.
Cochran looked up. “Really?” He steepled his fingers beneath his chin and leaned back in his chair. “Normally, everyone tries to get out of these things, and here you are volunteering.”
Rylan straightened. “Yes, sir.” Mazey expected him to salute next.
She bit her cheek to keep from smiling. He was probably trying to get on Cochran’s good side, so what they had to tell him would be a little easier to swallow.
“Okay, you’re it. Thursday, here on base. Your partner is Grayson. He’s on shift though, so if there’s a call, you’ll be on your own. I’ll let Gray fill you in on what’s needed in the morning when he gets in. Now”—he eyed them both—“what can I do for you two?”
“Sir, we wanted to make you aware that Maz and I are in a relationship outside of work.”
Cochran dropped his hands and sat forward. “Okay.”
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“We’ve both checked our contracts and the base manuals and can find nothing prohibiting such a relationship, but we felt it best to disclose this information to you anyway.”
“You’re right. There isn’t anything about fraternizing in any of those. I trust I’m not going to walk around here and find the two of you doing something inappropriate?”
“No, sir.”
Mazey wasn’t sure why she was leaving all the talking to Rylan. Maybe because he looked so serious, so official, standing tall with his hands behind his back. The only thing missing was an army uniform. Although the Mercy-Life one he wore didn’t hurt.
“Okay. I do have one question though, and I’ll need you to leave the room and close the door behind you, Ry, before I ask it.”
Mazey’s gaze whipped to her boss. He watched her intently, but she didn’t have a clue why though.
“Ah . . . okay.”
She glanced at Rylan and smiled. Whatever Cochran had to ask couldn’t be bad. He hadn’t fired either of them, he’d confirmed their own research that being together wasn’t against company policy, so she wasn’t worried. Not really.
Rylan gave her a wink then addressed their boss, “I’ll contact Grayson to see what he needs me to do to prepare for tomorrow.”
Cochran waited until Rylan had closed the door behind him to speak. “Take a seat for second, Mazey.” There must have been something in her expression because he waved his hand at her and added, “You’re not in trouble, he’s not in trouble, I just need to be sure about one thing.”
“All right.” She perched on the edge of a seat. “What is it?”
“Did Ry pressure you into a relationship?”
“What?” she gasped, almost bouncing back to her feet. “No! Why would you ask that?”
“Don’t get all defensive. In a way, he’s your boss. All team members are equals, and each of you is your own boss, but he’s the lead pilot of your team, which comes with certain responsibilities.”
