“Dear God, thank you for my Daddy. He has dimples too. He has Paw Patrol pajamas and chicken nuggets and a clean tub and he doesn’t need medicine like Michelle and my other daddy’s. Watch over my Daddy, please, God. Watch over Riri too. She is nice. Amen.”
I didn’t know how to follow behind that prayer but I tried my best. “Dear God, thank you for River. He’s the smartest, most awesome kid ever. I love him more than life. Keep him safe…please. Watch over Riri too. She is kinda nice.” I cracked a smile and River grinned at me.
He laid his head in my lap and I stroked his hair and talked to him until he fell asleep. He looked like an angel. I snapped a few pictures with my phone and eased out of the room.
I found Zuri cleaning the kitchen and wrapped my arms around her from behind. “Is he sleeping?” she asked.
“Yeah. He’s out.” I kissed her neck then nuzzled my nose against it. She was warm and safe. I couldn’t help feeling like shit for dragging her through an experience that she didn’t ask for.
“I’m so sorry that you had to deal with this. None of this was my intention. I never wanted you to deal with Michelle and certainly not disrespect from her like that.”
“You didn’t know it was going to happen, Roman. By the way, your parents were fucked up for doing that to you. I can’t even process that. Why would they do that and not tell you?”
“That’s the kind of shit they do. They take control if things aren’t happening fast enough. Both of them. I can’t even blame my father more than my mother.” I rubbed my forehead and Zuri shook her head, resting her fist against her chin.
“River is such an amazing kid. Hearing him talk like that about his mother just…” She got choked up and shook her head, fending off the tears.
“I know.” I sat in a chair at the kitchen table and Zuri settled on top of me. “How the fuck can she call herself a mother? How can she let…men come in and out of her life when my child is there? How the fuck is she okay with him calling them all dad?” All the emotions I’d been holding in all day came crashing violently to the forefront of my mind and I couldn’t hold them back.
My eyes burned with sorrow. Silent tears rolled down my cheeks. “He helps her put needles in her arm, Zuri. He fucking helps her!” I roared, trembling with fury. Zuri jumped and I realized my volume. She didn’t move though, she just held me. “He thinks he’s being her doctor,” I sobbed quietly against her chest.
I’d never been so broken and helpless before in my life.
“Give her more money,” Zuri said with a shaky voice.
“What? Why?”
“If that’s what it takes to keep him with you. Give her money. Give her money until you can get a hearing.”
“I’ll need someone to watch him while I go to work,” I stammered, wondering if that could actually work.
“We’ll find a sitter until I get out of school, then I’ll watch him. I’ll tell my father I took a babysitting job for more money.”
“He’ll laugh in your face. He’s a classist just like my parents. He’s not going to allow you to babysit.” Her face fell a bit when she realized I was right.
“Well, we can ask your parents. They’re his grandparents. They have to be willing to help.”
“I don’t want their help anymore,” I grumbled.
“Roman, now isn’t the time for pride. Your son needs you. Nobody else matters but him. Use whoever you can to make sure he’s safe and sound. Your parents are pieces of work but I know one thing…they love you. They love that little boy too.” I scrubbed at my jaw with my palm and thought about what she said.
I had to work with my parents.
There was no way around it.
I’d move heaven and hell for my son and my parents were definitely the devil’s business partners. Once my brain started to settle down, I pulled Zuri close to me in the hall and kissed her forehead.
“Thank you, Zuri. You really stepped up today. You didn’t have to. Nobody asked you to. You were tossed into something unwarranted and you stepped the fuck up. I can’t ever repay you.”
“You don’t have to. Just don’t let him go back with his mother.” She caressed the side of my face and her skin was so warm. I sank into the feeling like a mug of chamomile tea meant to soothe my nerves.
“Let’s go to bed,” she said.
“Will you sleep in here with me and River? Nothing sexual just…” I kissed her open hand and put it back on the side of my face. “I need your presence.”
“Of course, Roman.” She smiled at me and I pulled her into the dark bedroom, careful not to disturb the sleeping three-year-old in the bed. I slept that night with River and Zuri beside me and I felt whole.
Like I’d been missing pieces of myself my entire life and had only just now found them.
**
Zuri
As long as Roman offered Michelle hundreds of dollars every day, she let him keep River. It was a Band-Aid on a festering wound but the only thing we both cared about was that little boy’s safety. I didn’t realize how fiercely I’d protect a defenseless child until I heard River talk about watching Michelle take her medicine .
I was disgusted.
I was heartbroken.
I knew that if it ever came down to my life or making sure he never stayed another night with her that I would gladly give my last breath. I wasn’t sure if I felt like that because River belonged to Roman or if I was tapping into some deep maternal instinct.
Either way, I wanted to help River end up with his father.
**
Being back in school after a dizzying break with Roman and River was like walking backward through water. It weighed me down in ways I couldn’t explain. The Monarch Room seemed light years in the past.
Still, when the orange, white, and black of the glass doors came into focus, my body reacted. My throat grew tighter the closer I got. I opened the door and looked to the ceiling for the flutter of butterfly wings.
A small smile curved my lips up. “Miss Okolo, you’re right on time.” Roman stood and locked the doors behind us. I sank into him like roots in the earth.
Our kisses weren’t rushed anymore. They were steady and constant. I knew he was mine and he knew I was his. Nothing would make us part.
Our fingers locked together while he backed me against his desk. I slid backward letting him settle between my thighs. “I missed you so much,” I breathed. I traced his face with my eyes closed and my fingers outstretched. I skimmed his nose, his lips, and his cheeks.
“I missed you too. River asked about you over and over before I dropped him off at my parents’.”
“Aww, my sweet boy,” I smiled. Roman’s hands slid up my skirt and I bit my bottom lip. “How’s my other sweet boy?” I rubbed the top of his head and he yanked me against him. The heat was palpable and thick.
“Boy?” He smirked.
“I’m sorry, Daddy,” I whined when I felt his fingers slide beneath my panties and work my clit like only he knew how to do. My thighs turned to jelly as he worked me to an orgasm.
“Daddy missed you,” he breathed.
“I missed you more.”
“I was talking to your pussy. We already established that I missed you, princess.” He nipped at my lips and I laughed, tossing my head back.
He pulled my tights down and knelt before me, dragging his wet tongue along my stiff clit. He moved achingly slow, setting me on fire until I squirmed against his mouth. He was savoring me.
“So fucking good,” he groaned. His deep voice sent vibrations coiling around my core. “Cum in my mouth, Zuri.” His breath tickled my skin and his stubbled chin tickled my ass when he plunged his tongue deep inside of me.
I hated muting my noises. I wanted to call his name so loud it rang out in the skies. I slid my fingers over his head and moaned while my legs shook.
“Oh, God, Roman…” I pushed out breathy words as I came for him.
“You are so sweet.” He dipped his head so I could taste myself
on his tongue and lips. I couldn’t get enough of it. He tugged me forward and slid my shoes off. I rested my feet on his chest while he fucked me slowly at first, then faster and hard.
My body belonged to him as he stretched out my climax, making me hold on until he was ready for me to cum. I whined and moaned, matching his motions. “Take that dick for Daddy.” He unbuttoned my shirt and pinched my nipples, making me squeal. Nobody else was in the building yet but I never liked to get too loud in school.
“Roman,” I begged. Each letter of his name hanging on my tongue like verses of poetry.
“God you feel so good, Zuri.” He shut his eyes and stroked me like he was committing each crevice of my pussy to memory. My body buzzed and I squeezed his cock between my walls while my hips frantically worked to fuck him back.
“Fuck!” He growled just before I felt him pull out. He sighed when he came all over me. Each breath was heavy with relief. I guided his lips to mine with my fingers on his chin so we could share a kiss.
I stared at him while we sat in the bathroom and he cleaned me up. He was always so gentle. I wanted to freeze that very moment. It was one most people wouldn’t care about but it meant the world to me.
Roman took time to clean me.
It wasn’t just a quick few wipes. He took care of me. I wiggled my toes to shake some of the tingles out. He was driving me mad.
It was so hard not to make love to him again.
When he was done, I thanked him with a kiss and then I dropped my panties in his hand. “You’re such a good girl, princess.” He slapped my ass and we went to the window in the back of the class to watch the sunrise.
“Sometimes I think I love you too much, Roman,” I confessed quietly.
“How can you love someone too much?” He asked, cocking a thick brow up. He started setting up his easel in the middle of class and I watched him move.
“I don’t know,” I shrugged my shoulders and studied his fluidity. “I feel like if I were to love you anymore, my chest would crack open. I feel like my love would pour out in waves of confusion and certainty. In currents of lust and need. Obsession and addiction. Selflessness and selfishness.
You turn me into a kaleidoscope of back and forth. It’s insanity but it’s so goddamn easy to do. You’re effortless to love. It’s terrifying and soothing at the same time.”
Roman’s strong arm hooked around my waist and he smiled at me. I was putty when he smiled. His dimples did things to me. Good things.
Bad things.
Things that made my knees useless.
“So essentially, I drive you crazy?” He asked with a sure smirk on his handsome face.
“Yes. Like you wouldn’t believe.” I laughed, shaking my head at the insanity of it all.
“Good. I want to drive you crazy forever, Zuri. I want to drive you crazy until all your hair turns white and all the laughter spills out in lines around your mouth. I want to drive you crazy until your eyes crinkle at the corners.”
My heart thumped against my chest and I found it hard to swallow. My fingertips tingled with the need to write. “Don’t say things like that if you don’t mean them. My heart has ears and it believes everything you say. All the time.”
“Good.”
“I want to drive you crazy forever too, Roman.” I put my hand on his chest and felt his heart beating wildly and in tune with mine. We were one heartbeat in two separate bodies.
A knock at the door made us jump apart. I sat at my desk with a pencil in hand and Roman unlocked the door. “Goddammit, Matt,” Roman cursed with a relieved sigh.
“Zuri,” Matt smiled at me and tipped his chin down.
“Matt, good morning,” I laughed.
“I got you guys coffee.” He set a cup down in front of me and I thanked him profusely. “How was your break?” He asked, looking from me to Roman. I exchanged a glance with him and he chuckled.
“It was eventful. Let’s just say I can’t hit the bar after work until further notice. Feel free to stop by my place for a drink though.”
“What the fuck did you two get into?” Matt laughed.
“What did you get into, Matthew?” I asked curiously. Roman told me about him and Principal Palmer’s wife. I was so intrigued. I wanted to hear more.
My question mottled his cheeks with red. He pushed a hand through his hair and chuckled. “Me? Oh…nothing.”
“Uh huh. Same kind of nothing we got into, I’m sure,” I quipped.
“You’ve been hanging around Rome too much, Zuri. You’re so sassy now.”
“She’s always been like that. Pain in my ass,” Roman joked, smiling at me.
“You love me though,” I mused. He walked over to my desk and bent down to kiss my lips.
“More than anything.” I shut my eyes and let his words take over my brain for a moment.
“Um…I’m right here. I literally have not left this spot.” Matt frowned at both of us but we ignored him. “I sure hope I get to be best man at the wedding since I’ve had to endure so much psychological torture behind this.”
“Yeah. Of course. Bring Eve as your date,” Roman smirked. We laughed while Matt shook his head.
“Oh thank God, you’re here.” Krissy rushed into the Monarch Room and I looked at her with wide eyes. “What? You wouldn’t answer your phone and I knew you’d be here under Clermont.”
“Hello to you too, Krissy,” Roman sighed.
“Hey, Mr. Clermont. Hi, Mr. Wilmore…wait. Riri, you’re not banging both of them, are you?”
“Girl. No.” The thought of fucking Matt was gross. He’d become my friend. He was like Krissy was to me.
“I mean he’s fine so…” She gave a shrug then covered her mouth with her hand once she realized we were in school and Matt was her teacher. Her homeroom teacher too. He laughed at it and patted her shoulder.
“It’s okay, Krissy. Rules seem to vanish in the Monarch Room. Thanks for the compliment by the way. It’ll earn you extra credit today.” He winked at her and I thought she would melt. They stared at each other for a few extra seconds and I looked at Roman to see if he noticed. He did.
“You’re never here this early,” I laughed, breaking the trance.
“I know. I needed you.” She turned to me and sighed letting her shoulders sag. I checked my phone instantly to make sure she hadn’t put out an SOS. I didn’t see anything.
“Where’s the SOS?” I asked, still scrolling my messages.
“I didn’t send one. I just needed to talk.”
“Talk to Krissy, I’m gonna fill Matt in on everything.” Roman kissed the top of my head and I smiled up at him. “Krissy, would you like some coffee?” Roman asked her.
“Um, sure. Thanks, Mr. Clermont.”
“Roman. You can call me Roman when it’s only us here.”
“Oh boy. You two are so getting married once school lets out,” she sighed. “Thank you, Roman.”
“Not a problem,” he laughed. Once they were gone, Krissy turned to me, her French braids swishing across her shoulders.
“Oh. My. God. Riri. He is fine as fuck. Like how do you deal with those dimples? I’d be bent over all the time.”
“I’m bent over all the time. Seriously.” I shook my head to stop the tingling that started to inch up my thighs and then I put my hand on hers. “What’s up?”
“Oh, uncle Colton…” She breathed his name like she was inhaling a flower.
“You’ve got to stop calling him that,” I laughed.
“I know but it adds to how hot this all is so…let me live.”
“I’ll allow it. Continue,” I nodded, sipping coffee.
“I don’t know how to see him now without it being suspicious to my parents. Thanksgiving is done and everything is back to normal and he’s back at home. I miss him though. Riri, I crave him now.
I woke up out of my sleep needing him to touch me and missing the smell of his soap when he gets out of the shower. What the fuck is wrong with me?” She pouted and blew strands o
f brown hair from her forehead.
“You two are addicted to each other. Have him come back and stay with you guys for winter break. It’s only a few weeks away.” She blinked and stared at me with pale brown eyes that twinkled.
“Yes. I need to get on that. I also need to see him before winter break. I’m losing my goddamn mind.”
“Did he leave something behind at your house, maybe? Something important?” I arched my brow and looked at her. She frowned and shook her head. “Krissy, follow me here. He had to have left something very important at your house that he needs to search for.” After a few blinks, she nodded with a knowing smile. She didn’t waste any time texting Colton.
“He’ll come over and look for it tonight,” she informed me after a few minutes of her smiling down at her phone.
“Until winter break gets here, have him spend more time with your dad. You know that whole, I realized we don’t spend enough time together, rhetoric. It’s kinda fucked up using your father like that but…” I shrugged my shoulders and sipped my coffee. “All is fair in love and war.”
“Please don’t say the L word,” she groaned. “I don’t want to hear the L word.”
“Okay, Krissy. How long are we avoiding this topic?”
“Forever,” she laughed and laid her head on my shoulder. Matt and Roman came back with coffee for Krissy and Matt had a conflicted look on his face. His green eyes were a mixture of anger and empathy.
Roman must have told him about River. I understood that look all too well. It had manifested into a heavy feeling that took up a home in my chest. I knew it wouldn’t let up until Roman had full custody of his son like he deserved.
**
At the end of the day, I placed my assignments on Roman’s desk and he smiled up at me. I was always the last one to leave his class. Even when kids hung back to ask questions or talk, I was last. I needed that hug and kiss. I required his I love you .
“Facetime tonight,” he said, holding my fingers hostage in his big hand.
“Deal.”
“Also,” he said, “Your father has set up a conference with me…finally. I think I’ll mention to him that your grades have come up quite nicely. You’re turning in all B work now. I’d say you’re a shoe-in for early graduation, Miss Okolo.”
The Monarch Room Page 19
