Early graduation .
It was something so staunchly on my mind until I fell for Roman. Now, all I could think about was coming to the Monarch Room daily and getting him under my skin where he belonged. Close to my heart, running through my veins, and breathing between the pages of my mind. Graduating early meant I wouldn’t see him every day.
“I don’t want to graduate early anymore,” I told him.
“Zuri, that’s what you’ve wanted for months.”
“Not now.” I looked around the empty classroom and at people passing by in the hallway before I stepped behind his desk. I was just outside of the view of anyone walking by the open door. “Now, I want you. I need to see you every day and coming to class is my only way.” I ran my fingers down his strong chest and he sighed, catching my wrist. He pressed his lips there and I sighed with relief like his love was a transfusion.
“If you promise me you’ll graduate as early as possible, I’ll find work for you in my class.”
“As an assistant?” I quizzed.
“Yes.” I couldn’t hide the apples of my cheeks. I was smiling like an idiot.
“Okay. Deal,” I nodded. “Thank you, Mr. Clermont,” I purred.
“Not a problem, Miss Okolo.” He let my hand go and I missed his warm energy. He blanketed me and when he wasn’t nearby, I felt off-center.
“Facetime,” I said pointing at him.
“Facetime.” He hooked his fingers into my skirt and pulled me close to him. He couldn’t resist a kiss and neither could I. I savored his tongue like my favorite candy. Like the pink Starbursts.
“So she’s a student,” a vaguely familiar voice ripped me away from Roman in a panic. I saw Michelle standing in the doorway of the Monarch Room and my eyes grew wide.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Roman growled, low and angry. The sound made my stomach clench. It was wrong for her to be there. The Monarch Room was our sacred space.
“I should have known. God, this is so fucking rich, Roman. You’re banging your student.” She laughed and Roman yanked her into the classroom, closing and locking the door behind her.
“Michelle, what the fuck do you want?” His voice grew menacing while my heartbeat drummed wildly out of control.
She walked in on us kissing.
She knew I was a student.
My uniform was a neon sign that blared my status at Aspen Grove. There was no way to lie about it.
“I want more money.”
“I gave you three hundred last night.”
“Well, I want more. I’m going to a party.” Her dead eyes flicked over to me. They flickered to life with hatred. “I can always find my way to the principal’s office and let him know Mr. Clermont is fucking one of his kids.”
“Michelle, if you do that…” Roman held in his words and flexed his jaw repeatedly. Someone tried to pull open the doors while we all stood there in the midst of thick drama. When they couldn’t get in, they knocked.
Roman put on a professional face and opened the door with a smile. “Principal Palmer,” he stammered, straightening his spine. Michelle’s eyes twinkled with malice.
“Clermont, why were these doors locked? That’s a violation to the highest degree. It’s still well within school hours.”
“I’m sorry, Principal Palmer. I honestly didn’t realize. Maybe have someone look at these doors? Every time I turn the knob it seems to set the lock.” God, he was smooth. My heart was in the roof of my mouth but Roman navigated the terrain like a pro.
“Well, perhaps you’re right,” Palmer grunted. “Who is this?” He asked of Michelle. She took the opportunity to wrap her arms around Roman and lay her head on his chest.
I nearly burst into livid flames.
“His girlfriend,” she sang. “Baby, you never tell anyone about me.”
“Girlfriend? Well, isn’t that sweet?”
“Did you at least tell him about River?” She asked, batting her lashes. I noticed Palmer staring at Michelle’s needle pricked arms and I cringed.
“River?” Palmer asked, pulling his gaze away.
“Our son,” she beamed with pride.
“Son? Seems I know nothing about you, Clermont,” he chuckled. “You never struck me as the family type.” His eyes fell to Michelle’s arms again and I fidgeted with my skirt.
“He’s not,” Michelle’s voice turned to ice. “If he wasn’t so busy screwing his student over here, maybe he could be. Roman, I want more money. I’ll be waiting at your parents’ house.” She turned her angry stare to me. “Bye bitch. Have fun being expelled.”
My world crumbled as she walked out of those doors. She came through like TNT and detonated such a quiet and special place. Principal Palmer looked from me to Roman and folded his arms.
“Roman, tell me she’s lying,” he groaned. When he opened his eyes, he looked straight at me, and my throat nearly closed.
“Mr. Palmer, I can explain,” Roman began.
“I sure hope so because Aspen Grove cannot afford a scandal like that. Miss Okolo is one of our star pupils. Her father has donated countless dollars…”
“I’m not sleeping with Miss Okolo,” Roman growled.
“Who was that woman and why would she say that?” His gaze was narrow like he was examining Roman’s inner-thoughts. I pressed my back flat against the wall and tried to steady my nerves. They threatened to consume me whole.
My stomach roiled and I swallowed the bile creeping up the back of my throat. It was one of my worst fears to have Roman and I exposed. Now here we were staring that fear directly in the eyes.
“She’s my son’s mother, unfortunately. Miss Okolo got caught up in an ill-timed moment, Palmer. That’s it.” Roman’s eyes found mine and I pushed out a breath. I couldn’t let him shoulder this moment on his own. He’d already gone through so much alone.
“I—I’ve never seen her before this moment. I only stayed after to talk to Mr. Clermont about graduating early and something about a conference with my father.” Tears shimmered in my eyes. “That woman came in here and started spewing insanity.”
“Can she please go home? I’m sure her driver is out there worried sick,” Roman sighed. Principal Palmer looked at me, then at Roman.
“Unfortunately, Roman, I have to open an investigation.”
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” He boomed, tossing his hand into the air. “Excuse my language, Miss Okolo,” He apologized and I told him it was fine. “You saw her, Ray. Did she look like a credible person? She’s a drug addict. I’m fighting her tooth and nail to get my kid back. She shouldn’t get to come in here, making some wild accusation, that you give merit to.”
“She raised suspicion. Now, we won’t nail you to the wall, Roman. This is a private school, but I have to conduct an internal investigation.” My phone buzzed in my purse and I grabbed it with shaking hands.
Duke: Miss Zuri, I’m outside waiting. Is everything okay?
Me: Five minutes, Duke. Thank you.
“Principal Palmer, my driver is outside waiting. I have to go,” I sniffled. I was trying to hard to keep the tears suppressed. I hated that they were fighting their way down my cheeks.
“I’m sorry, Zuri. You may go. I’ll be in touch with your father.” Terror struck my chest like an iron fist.
“W—what?” I looked at Palmer then at Roman. “Why do you have to talk to my father? I didn’t do anything.”
“Standard procedure. I have to interview everyone and surmise if the claim has any merit. If your teacher is accused of being…inappropriate with you then I have to inform your parents.”
“Ray, that’s ridiculous,” Roman sighed. “This girl is weeks away from early graduation. Don’t do this, man.”
“It’s nothing personal. I mean, I can understand how her father knowing would sting but if there’s nothing to find then there’s nothing to worry about. I’ll be sure to inform Dr. Okolo that this is all just a technicality and that we don’t believe anything is happenin
g.”
“That’s not good enough! You’re going to totally disrupt her life because of a baseless accusation from a woman you’ve never even seen before?” Roman was losing his cool. The veins in his neck bulged and his voice became ragged and gravelly. Principal Palmer noticed it immediately.
“As I said, it’s standard procedure. Miss Okolo,” he turned to me. “You’re free to go. Don’t worry about any of this. I’m sure nothing will come of it right?” His eyes scanned my face then Roman’s.
“Right,” we both said too quickly and too eagerly.
**
When I climbed in the back seat of the Escalade, Duke looked at me and frowned. “What is wrong with you?”
“I might be in some big trouble, Duke.” I swallowed a thick knot. “You know the situation we talked about a while ago?”
“The one I can’t know about,” he nodded.
“Yes, that one. I think everyone is getting ready to know about it.”
“Miss Zuri, you absolutely can’t let your father find out.”
“I know!” I snapped. I exhaled and rubbed my forehead. “I’m sorry, Duke. I didn’t mean to yell at you. I’m…scared.”
“Do you want me to talk to Adam for you?” I snapped my head up hearing him call my father by his first name. He never did that.
“No…I don’t know if it would make things worse. I need to figure out what’s happening first.”
“I understand. Is everything just…speculation currently?”
“Exactly. That’s exactly what it is.”
“Miss Zuri, your father is not in the best space right now.” Duke’s kind eyes found mine in the mirror again.
“He’s never in the best space,” I grumbled.
“He’s under a lot of stress. If he finds out about your situation, I don’t think he would handle it well.”
“My father could be on top of the world and he wouldn’t handle it well.” I chewed on my bottom lip and stared out of the window as my neighborhood came into view. Seeing my house made me sick. I knew I’d get read the riot act when my father heard Principal Palmer’s accusations.
“If you need me, call at any time.” Duke’s voice pulled me out of my head and I nodded. We hugged tightly when he helped me out of the back.
“I will, Duke. Thank you.”
I rushed into the house and locked myself in my bedroom. I needed to cry. I needed to let the scared tears flow. I needed to be alone where I wouldn’t become anyone’s prey.
I nearly jumped off my bed when my mother called. I wiped my eyes and composed myself before pressing the phone’s cool screen to my face. “Hello?”
“Zuri, why am I getting a phone call from your principal about an investigation into an inappropriate relationship between you and your art teacher?” He words zapped me silent. Heat blanketed me. It was hot and itchy, making me squirm.
“Um…” I fingered the pages of the monarch journal Roman gave me and steadied my breathing. It was getting out of control. “Some woman came in while I was meeting with Mr. Clermont and she said we were messing around.”
“Who is this woman?” My mother asked.
“The mother of his kid. She was angry and I guess she said anything to get him in trouble. I was just standing there,” I told her.
“Zuri, help me understand this. Why would she say something like that if it weren’t true?”
“I don’t know!” I squeaked. “I got caught in the cross-fire.”
“Your father is going to go crazy when he hears this. Have you spoken to him yet?”
“No,” I toyed with the ends of my hair and pushed out one shaky breath after another.
“Zuri, I’m so sorry.”
“For what?” I asked, irritation sinking into my words.
“I know this isn’t going to be easy to deal with. Your father can be such a mean man. I don’t know what the truth behind this is but regardless, he won’t handle it well.”
“I didn’t do anything!” I shouted. It was perhaps the truest statement.
I didn’t do anything.
I only fell in love.
I only fell so hard I couldn’t get up.
I didn’t want to get up.
I wanted to fall into Roman Clermont and spiral for the rest of my life.
“Calm down, Zuri. We’ll figure this mess out.”
“How? How can we figure it out, Mom? You won’t come near this house. I only talk to you on the phone and all you ever do is apologize for him. You never stand up for me or for yourself. How can an attitude like that fix anything?”
“Zuri,” she gasped.
“I love you, Mom. I can’t apologize everything away like you though. I gotta go,” I pressed end call and tossed my phone down.
I missed Roman.
What if I couldn’t see him anymore until I turned eighteen? What if they locked him up and I couldn’t see him at all? My head was spinning.
I picked up my pen and wrote with shaky fingers and tearful eyes.
I’m Okay
I’m okay.
I’m just fine.
It only hurts to think of you when the sun rises in the sky.
It only hurts to breathe each day I’m alive.
The pain will diminish but the ache of not having you will never die.
Even if only for seconds.
Not being with you rips apart my heaven.
I fall tattered and torn.
My knees bruised from praying for you.
I’m okay though.
Words will birth me anew.
They will string together broken memories of you.
I will craft a fantastic mask of my once glittering smile and shining eyes
And I will hide behind it
Mourning the chunk of me that died.
I shut the book and sniffled back tears. Roman had drawn me countless sketches. They were beautiful and perfect. I found the one he drew when I was crying, and held it in my hands. It amazed me that he could capture beauty in sadness.
I took a picture of his sketch and a picture of my poem. I posted them to Instagram and slid my finger over the images. I wanted everyone to know how gorgeous his art was and how much he inspired me. Our love and inspiration deserved to be shouted from the mountaintops. I wanted to tag him so bad but I knew better. It would draw unnecessary heat.
I was busy trying to figure out how I’d manage to see Roman outside of Aspen Grove, when he called me. My voice was ragged when I answered.
“Roman, how are you? What happened after I left?”
“Palmer started his investigation. He’s probably going to talk to Matt and Krissy and anyone else that has seen us together outside of class.” He grew quiet and I felt anxiety weave a solid web across my chest, making it hard to inhale. “Zuri…I think we should lie low for a while. No more morning meetings.”
“Roman, how will we see each other? How am I gonna see River?” I asked, pulling my knees up to my chest.
“I don’t know, baby. I don’t have the answers right now and I wish I did. I just know that we have to look as clean as possible. Act normal, come to class, and go home. I’ll find a way to talk to you though. I have to.”
“I hate this. Why the hell would Michelle do this?”
“She wants money. That’s her main concern. I’m sure in her mind she’s upped the ante and now I have to give her even more. I’m going to head to my parents’ house and straighten this all out.
Please don’t worry, princess. We’ll get through this. I need you to be brave. We’re not going to let anyone break us apart.”
“Okay, Roman. I’ll be brave.” I dabbed at my eyes and pushed the tears away. I couldn’t drown myself in a puddle. I had to keep up appearances like he said. Be normal. Nobody else had to know there would be a hole in my chest until I got to be with Roman again.
“Zuri, I love you.”
“I love you too. So much.” I shut my eyes and imagined his lips on my forehead. I fell asleep after I ended our call
. I was exhausted.
**
“Zuri! Wake up and open this door!” My father’s words were thickly coated in his accent. I jumped out of bed with a start and yanked the door open. It was show time.
“Why are you banging on the door like that? Is everything okay?”
“You know damn well everything is not okay. Why am I hearing that you’re having an inappropriate relationship with your teacher? Have you lost your mind? I knew you were stupid but I had no idea how stupid until I received that phone call.”
“I’m not sleeping with anyone. Did Principal Palmer tell you that they don’t believe it? They don’t think I’m sleeping with him. They have to do this investigation because I just happened to be in class when some woman made an accusation.” My voice trembled with false conviction as I met his cold, angry stare.
He stepped into my room using his body as a weapon, pushing me backward until I stumbled. “I don’t give a fuck what your principal said. Nobody would make that accusation if there were not a grain of truth to it. Is that how you planned to pass your class? Hmm? You planned to lie on your back for an A?”
“No!”
“Your teacher is a disgrace and I will make sure he never teaches again. I will make them lock him under the jail. You should have thought about who your father was before you decided to open your legs like a whore.
You know I have the ability to crush people. Now I’m going to crush your boyfriend and I hope you’re happy. You will never see him again.”
“I’m not even sleeping with him!” I squeaked. His words were doing their job to unravel me and make me scared for Roman.
“I don’t care. Even if it comes out that you aren’t sleeping with him…I will bury him.” My father leered in my face. I could still smell the sterile scent of the hospital on his scrubs. He must have performed surgery. “You will not leave this house for anything but school and you will not leave early. I will make sure Duke knows this as well. Until you graduate, I refuse to let you go anywhere. Hand over your phone.” I dropped it in his hand but I didn’t respond, I stood there looking at him instead.
The Monarch Room Page 20
