Almost Never

by Amy Lamont

  She looked at Jamie's scowling face. No help to be had there. It's not like after the exchange they'd just had that she could ask Jamie to answer the door for her and make up some excuse to send Declan on his way.

  Another knock. Shit.

  Jamie raised an eyebrow. "Aren't you going to let your boyfriend in, Harper? Or were you going to ask me to help you deal with him? Again."

  Shit, damn, fuck. Harper felt like throwing something at her best friend. Preferably something hard and sharp.

  She settled for a nasty look in her direction before she headed to the door to deal with Declan. She paused right before she threw the door open wide, and instead took a second to put the chain on the door.

  I will not cave and let him in. I will not cave and let him in. She took a deep breath and opened the door only as wide as the chain would allow--enough to see Declan slouched in her doorway, arms braced on either side of the door. He'd rolled the sleeves of his white shirt up, leaving his forearms bare. With his arm only inches from her face, Harper's eyes lingered on the prominent veins.

  Geez, even his forearms were lickable. Is there anything about this guy that isn't perfect?

  That thought brought her to a screeching halt as the events of the evening came back to her. The arm she'd just admired was probably the same one he'd used to drive a punch into Drew and drop him directly on Professor Costa's table. That thought was enough to bring her to her senses.

  "What do you want, Declan?"

  "To see you. To apologize. Please let me in?

  " His voice trailed into a plea as he stared down at her, his eyes begging her to listen to him.

  God, why did she want nothing more than to throw the door open and let him in? She was an idiot, that's why. He'd practically put an end to all her plans to get Professor Costa to reconsider her for the mentorship program. And unlike him, she didn't have a wealthy family waiting in the wings to bail her out. She only had herself. But here he was with his broody, smoldering gaze trained on her and she had to fight to keep her knees from buckling. She straightened her spine. She wasn't going to be that girl.

  "Fine. You apologized. Anything else?" she asked flatly.

  "Harper, please. Can't we talk about thi? I know, believe me I know I messed up. But I couldn't stand there and let Drew talk about you..." He bit his words off with a curse.

  "Do you think you're telling me anything I don't know, Declan? I don't have to be psychic to know that Drew was spouting off about me." She was practically yelling at this point.

  A door down the hall opened and a voice called out. "Everyone okay down there?"

  Harper squeezed her eyes shut. Just what she needed right now--Mrs. Beidermeir couching her nosiness in questions about her welfare.

  She opened her eyes and with a hard glare at Declan, shut the door long enough to unlatch the chain and open it again. She stuck her head into the hallway. "Fine, Mrs. Beidermeir. Sorry we disturbed you."

  Mrs. Beidermeir waved and then stood in her doorway for several long moments. No doubt trying to find an excuse to linger and find out what was going on down here.

  "Oh for heaven's sake," Harper said under her breath. "Declan, why don't you go? I don't think we have anything left to talk about."

  "You're wrong. I get you're angry.”

  "Oh, you do? Thanks so much for trying to see things from my perspective. That just makes everything so much better." Harper clenched her teeth to keep from shouting. Whispered sarcasm didn't have the same impact.

  "Please just hear me out. You have to at least let me tell you Professor Costa doesn't hold you responsible for any of this. I know I ruined your night, but I promise, I didn't ruin your chances with him."

  How could he know that? "Did you stop in the middle of your fistfight to make sure of that?"

  "There wasn't a fistfight, Harper," Declan said wearily. "There was one punch and Drew landing on the table. What you saw was all there was too see except the cleanup."

  She narrowed her eyes, unsure whether to believe him or not. When she walked into the dining room earlier, Declan looked fit to be tied. And like he was ready to go another ten rounds with Drew.

  He held up his hands. "I swear. That was the end of it."

  Maybe some of the teachers or other brothers present had managed to put a stop to things before they got worse? She wasn't willing to forgive him based on the idea he didn't do more damage. As far as she was concerned the damage was done the moment Declan pulled back his fist. But curiosity got the better of her. "What made you stop?"

  "You did."

  She snorted and leaned against the doorframe. "Seriously? I had nothing to do with that fight. Or the ending of it."

  He nodded. "You're right. You aren't responsible for the fight starting. That's all on me and Drew. But you are responsible for ending it. I saw the look on your face when you walked into the room and I was standing over Drew." He raked a hand through his hair. "And all I could see was the look on your face not five minutes before when we were in the kitchen. I don't think I'd ever seen you so happy. When Drew walked in and your walls came up, I hated it. You were all closed off again. You stopped me from hitting him. But when you walked away and he started running his mouth....I just couldn't take it. I didn't think. I just acted."

  "But I had just warned you not to let him get to you." She couldn't help but argue with him. Her heart melted just a little at hearing his anger had been on her behalf. But seriously? She’d just told him not to let Drew get to him.

  "I know. I'm sorry. I really am. If I could take it back I would. I don't know what happened. Twice now I've punched that guy. Twice." Declan paced a small square of carpet in the hallway. "I've gone my whole life without ever once getting into a fistfight. And now twice in a matter of weeks, I had no control over myself."

  "You've never been in a fight before?" She couldn't keep the disbelief from her voice. Everything about Declan screamed bad boy from his clothes to his rockstar father to the gaggle of blondes he'd had hanging off his arm every time she'd spotted him on campus the last few years.

  "Are you kidding me? I've told you what my father's like, Harper. He wants me to be prove to the world he's not some piece of trailer park trash. If I'd gotten into a fight as a kid and it broke in the press...hell, even if it hadn't and the kid I hit turned out to belong to one of his fans, he'd have knocked me into the next week."

  "He hit you?" Her voice came out as no more than a whisper.

  Declan stopped his pacing abruptly. He bent his knees a little so they were on eye level. "Not often. But after he did it once or twice, I made damn sure not to give him any more reasons to do it."

  Scenes from the last few weeks of getting to know Declan played over in her head. His casual chatter with Professor Costa over his grade in Biology made it seem like it was no big deal. But he'd thrown himself into the experiment design over the last few days, making it clear it was important to him to do a good job. It hadn't really occurred to her before now to question why he wanted a good grade. Only one thing gave her pause.

  "But it's not like your father's going to hit you now. You're a full grown man."

  "No, now he could do much worse. He could stop paying for my education."

  Harper's eyes widened. Declan always seemed like the most laid back guy in the room. But he was worried about his education?

  "Would that be so terrible?"

  Declan snorted. "I'm the overprivileged son of a major rock star, Harper. The campus does a good job of sheltering me. But the reality of my life...let's just say I can't go get a job flipping burgers at the nearest fast food joint."

  "Why not?" She eased away from the doorframe, taking a step closer to him.

  "Are you kidding? First off, my dad would have a fit if I took a job he deemed as beneath me. And even if I could get a job my dad wouldn't mind, it wouldn't take long for the paparazzi to get a hold of the story of Sean Cooper's son working. I'd get fired when my presence affected someone's ability to run the
ir business.”

  She hadn't thought of that. And while she was lucky she'd found a job that was a little different than the jobs most teenagers got, she could see how he hadn't been able to find anything like that.

  "What about jobs in the industry? Couldn't your dad have hooked you up with someone who needed a gofer or someone to answer phones or something? Someone used to being around big name celebrities so it wouldn't matter who your dad was?"

  "Are you kidding? My dad wouldn't let me get a job that had anything to do with his industry. He wants me as far away as possible from that side of things."

  Her heart melted a little more. Looking at Declan from the outside, he had always appeared to be exactly what he said--the over privileged son of a rock star. How hard could it be to have everything your heart desired handed to you on a silver platter? But it seemed like Declan was as much under his dad's thumb as she was under her aunt's.

  She reached out and rubbed a hand soothingly up and down his arm. "And what about you? Is it important to you to finish college?"

  He grabbed her hand and tugged her a little closer. "Yeah, it is. I mean, I don't have to have the grades you get, but I want to do well in school. I want everyone to know I'm more than just XXXX Cooper's son."

  "What about now? I mean, you're an adult. Surely there are other ways to fund your education other than relying on your dad. Something that doesn't mean you'll be behind the counter at some restaurant where you might be recognized."

  He stared at her a long minute before a small smile turned up the corners of his lips. "Aren't you supposed to be mad at me?"

  She pressed her lips together. "I am mad at you."

  "So even pissed at me you're going to try to help me?"

  She licked her lips. He was right. Helping him right now was absolutely ridiculous. But she couldn't help it. She wanted to see him happy. She blew out a long, loud sigh. This was getting complicated.

  Part of her was pissed at him. But part of her wanted to hear more. She felt like he was really opening up to her and for the first time she was getting to see beneath the over-confident, carefree rich boy the rest of the world got to see. There was way more to Declan than she would have ever guessed. But why did he wait until she was ready to walk away from him to share all this?

  She bit her lip and stared up at him, her eyes searching his face for answers. His expression swirled with a mixture of fear and hope, and the answer to her question came to her. He was sharing all this with her now because he was afraid she would walk away from him. He knew he messed up. He wanted her forgiveness. And as much as she'd love nothing better than to tell him off after his actions put her future in jeopardy, she couldn't. She wanted to hear more. To know what made him tick. To see the fear in his eyes disappear.

  "What don't you come inside?" she whispered.

  His eyes widened. "Are you sure?"

  "No." She took a step back. "But I'm not ready to watch you walk away.”

  "You're not?"

  She shook her head.

  "I know I deserve to be thrown out of here on my ass, Harper. Thank you for giving me a chance to explain."

  The door down the hall cracked open again and Harper twisted her lips into a grimace and grabbed Declan and yanked him inside before Mrs. B could get her head out into the hall again.

  Shit. She cringed when she entered the living room dragging Declan behind her. She'd forgotten all about Jamie and Beth.

  Jamie smirked at the two of them. "I see you two crazy kids made up again."

  Harper rolled her eyes, but didn't bother replying. She tugged Declan towards the hallway leading to her bedroom.

  "Oh, Harper, by the way, how did things go with your aunt this afternoon?"

  Harper froze and turned slowly on her heel to find Jamie smirking at her. Her whole body felt brittle and breakable. Jamie was pissed at her. Maybe she even had a good reason to be with Harper running hot and cold with Declan and running to Jamie every single time. But this was too much. She'd flat out told Jamie she didn't want to tell Declan about her aunt. Why would she break Harper's trust?

  As Harper stared at her, not sure what to say, the smirk slid off Jamie's face. Her mouth opened and closed once and then again.

  But Harper wasn't about to stand there and listen to anything Jamie had to say anyway. She knew she was a pain in the ass and Jamie must be frustrated giving the same advice over and over again and then having to be the shoulder Harper cried on every time things went wrong with Declan. Maybe she'd just come to depend too much on Jamie. And really, Harper couldn't blame her for getting mad. Why should Jamie have to put up with all the crap that came with being Harper's only friend?

  "I'm sorry. I didn't mean--" Jamie started.

  Harper cut her off before she could get another word out. "Don't worry about it, James. I've obviously become too much of a pain in the ass for you to deal with. Or, you know, for you to keep my secrets anymore. I guess I was wrong to share all that with you."

  "Harper, no." Jamie jumped to her feet. "I was just mad."

  "It's fine. You're entitled. I know I've been the queen of all drama the last few weeks. I guess it's asking too much for you to keep putting up with it." She gave Jamie a cold smile. "Don't worry. If you'll give me a few weeks, I'll get out of your hair. I just need a little time to find someplace else to live."

  "Oh my god, you're totally overreacting, Harper. I'm sorry I said that. But seriously, no need to go off the deep end," Jamie said.

  "I guess overreacting is my thing lately. Don't worry, Jamie. I accept your apology. I just think maybe we need some space from each other for a while." Harper's heart clenched in her chest even as the words left her mouth. Part of her brain scrambled to find a way to take them back. Jamie had been her best friend since the day they started at Warren College. Hell, her only real friend since the day she left the home she'd shared with her father to move in with her aunt. How had they gotten to this point?

  "You know what? Fine. If you need space, I'll give you space." Jamie looked over to where a wide-eyed Beth sat watching the exchange. "Beth, let's go watch the rest of this at your place."

  Beth jumped up and scrambled into her jacket, and in less than a minute she and Jamie were walking out, the front door slamming behind them.

  Harper sank down to the couch, dropping her head into her hands.

  "Hey." The cushion sank as Declan's weight settled beside her. He ran a hand down her back. "It's okay. It's all going to be okay."

  Her breath stuttered out of her as she fought to hold back tears. The night had started off so well. How had it turned to crap so quickly? She pulled in one more shuddering breath before lifting her head to look at Declan. One drama at a time.

  "Maybe you should just go, Declan. I don't think I can take much more tonight."

  He shifted closer to her and moved his arm around her back. "No way. I know you're still mad at me. And I'll do anything to fix it. But I don't want to leave you alone when you're this upset. Please let me be here for you."

  Her lips parted as she stared at him. She wanted nothing more than to crawl into his lap and let him ease away all her worries.

  But he was one of her worries. Maybe she should just let him say what he wanted to say so she could finally put an end to this night and crawl into bed and hide from the world.

  "Okay. Want to start by telling me why I should forgive you for ruining one of the best nights I've had since college started?"

  Declan licked his bottom lip and slid his arm around to take Harper's hand. He fiddled with her fingers, staring down at them as curled and uncurled his fingers around hers.

  He cleared his throat. "I'm sorry. I honestly can't think of any good reason you should forgive me. But I hope you know I would never do anything to hurt you."

  "And things ended right after I left?"

  He looked up at her and nodded, looking as earnest as a choir boy.

  "I swear that was the end of it. The only reason I didn't get here soon
er was I stopped to talk to Professor Costa."

  Harper froze, terror gripping her stomach in a cold fist. She didn't know if she wanted to hear what Professor Costa had to say after that display.

  "Harper, he wasn't mad."

  Her eyes flew to his, her lips forming the word "what," but unable to get the words past her suddenly dry lips.

  "He wasn't mad. He heard Drew talking shit about you. I don't think he was thrilled I chose to resolve things with my fists, and I'm sure he'll get his pound of flesh from both of us, but he let Drew and I go without disciplinary action. And he told me flat out he didn't hold you responsible for my behavior."

  "Really?" Her question came out on a breathless whisper. Was it possible Declan and Drew hadn't ruined her plans?

  "Really." Drew held up a hand, two fingers pointed up in the Boy Scout's promise.

  She rolled her eyes, but heaved out a breath as she fell back into the couch cushions. "So maybe there's still hope for me getting into Costa's program?"

  Declan fell back next to her, scissoring his fingers through hers. "Definitely. I get the impression he's been pretty impressed with you the last week or so."

  She turned her head to find him looking down at her, their faces close. The warmth of his body sank into her all along her side where they touched. She raked her teeth over her bottom lip. "But is a week of good impressions enough? I mean, I probably should have been making this kind of effort the last two years."

  He shrugged. "I don't know. But from the way he talked, I wouldn't be surprised to hear you're back in the running."

  A grin stole across her face. "So maybe our plans are actually working?"

  His lips twisted into his usual smirk. "With my help, there's no way he can turn you down."

  She elbowed him playfully in the ribs. "If knocking someone into Professor Costa's dinner is your idea of help, buddy, I could probably do better without it."

  "Buddy?" His eyebrow arched up.

  "Yes. Buddy." She gave him a firm nod.

  He slid his hands around to her ribs and flexed them. "Are you sure you want to call me buddy?"

  She nodded again. "Yup."