The Shadows

by J. R. Ward

  "Do you intend to consummate our arrangement," she blurted. "Is it . . . time?"

  *

  "It's a ghost town up here, true?"

  As V called out from up in the colonial's attic, Rhage leaned into the bathroom of the master suite. "Nothing here, either. 'Cept a fuck load of pink."

  Heading back into the bedroom, he got a second chance at the rose-colored stuff. The shit was everywhere, from the rug and the drapes, to the wallpaper and the sheets, and Xcor's scent was all over the place. Clearly, this was his private room--and there was some serious satisfaction that the fucker had had to crash in this estrogen-dominated nightmare.

  Like sleeping in a goddamn womb.

  Rhage shuddered as he walked out into the hall. "Wonder if he's been suffering from a phantom urge to wear high heels."

  "There's a picture." V came out of the hole in the ceiling and down the folding stepladder. "Abandoned. They just ghosted off and left this place."

  Nothing. There had been absolutely, positively nothing suspicious or threatening, no booby-traps to catch them, no bombs set to detonate, no alarms.

  There had also been nothing personal left upstairs, either--like in the living room, there were piles of trash here and there, but no clothes, no weapons, no computers or cell phones.

  Moving quickly, they went down the staircase, and backtracked through the empty house. After dematerializing out through the open window in the kitchen, they rejoined Phury and Z.

  "Nada," V said.

  Rhage took out his phone for a quick look-see, and when there were no replies to either of his texts, he frowned and disappeared the thing again. Antsy, he went to the other side of his jacket and snagged a Tootsie Pop--then saw that it was orange, and traded that for a grape one. The purple wrapper slid off easily, like the suckah was ready to go to work, and he eased the sugar ball into his mouth.

  "It's completely clean?" Phury asked. "That can't be right."

  Rhage popped his mouth toy out. "Don't get me wrong--I think disarming bombs and booby traps is a bore, but I was ready to put the time in. I don't get it. They leave here because Throe's out and likely defecting? They must know that we're going to come as soon as we got the addy from that asshat."

  V's white eyes shifted over the empty house. "They missed an obvious chance."

  "Didn't think Xcor was that stupid--or lazy." Rhage shrugged. "Maybe they're hurting for money."

  "Doubt that it's a lack of resources," Phury muttered. "They're well armed, going by their kills downtown."

  There was some fast conversation and it was decided they'd go back and report to Wrath that Throe hadn't lied. Just before they dematerialized, however, Rhage spoke up around his lollipop.

  "Listen, you boys mind if I take a little detour?"

  "No problem, we'll start the debrief," V said.

  "Thanks, my brothers. I just need ten minutes or so."

  He clapped palms with his fellow fighters, and then one by one, they all disappeared . . .

  ...but instead of re-forming in the backyard of Darius's old house, where Wrath held audiences with his subjects, Rhage materialized in front of a large, but far less opulent, home in the suburbs. A blue Volvo XC70 station wagon was parked in the driveway, and though the drapes were all pulled, lights were on in every single window all around the three-story house.

  Rhage took out his phone, went into Favorites, and hit green-means-go. As the ringing started, he shifted his weight back and forth between his shitkickers.

  "Hey," he said as the call was answered. "You okay?"

  "Hey." His Mary, his perfectly beautiful and brilliant female, sounded all wrong. "How did you know."

  Instantly, his beast surged under his skin, ready to tear into anything or anybody that threatened their mate. "What's going on?"

  "We're having trouble with one of our moms."

  Rhage's eyes sought out the windows. "Can I help?"

  "Where are you?"

  "Out on your lawn."

  "I'm coming down."

  Rhage hung up the phone and did a quick pass with the tidy-up, smoothing his hair, making sure his jacket was hanging right, pulling up his leathers.

  Safe Place had been started by Marissa to meet the needs of victims of domestic violence within the Race. Although humans had a lot of programs and resources for their women and children, female vampires and their young had had absolutely nothing to turn to until Marissa had opened up this facility. Staffed with social workers trained thanks to the human world--night school or online--and nurses managed by Doc Jane and Ehlena, the residents were allowed to stay, without charge, for as long as they needed in order to get back on their feet and be safe.

  Males were not permitted inside.

  As far as he knew, there were at least twelve in the house at the moment, although that number fluctuated--and thanks to the Wellesandra Annex, built because of Tohr's gift in memory of his beloved first shellan, there was always plenty of room.

  The front door opened and Mary slipped out, locking up behind her. Tucking her arms into her chest, she shivered as she ran over the lawn--and it took every ounce of his self-control not to be the one to cross the distance between them. But he had to respect the boundary of the property.

  Opening his arms wide, he sank down into his knees so that when she got within range, he could hold her flush to him and lift her up off the ground. To him, she weighed nothing, but oh, God, she was vital, her body warm against his, her arms going around his neck and squeezing, her scent hitting him like a Xanax and a jolt of espresso at the same time.

  "My Mary," he sighed. Deep inside him, his beast chuffed in satisfaction. "My Mary girl."

  He'd started calling her that a while ago. No idea why. Probably because every time he did, she smiled.

  Rhage eased her back down, but kept her against him. Brushing her cocoa-colored hair back, he didn't like how pale she was. "What the hell's happening?"

  The sound she made was one of exasperation. Exhaustion. Sadness. "Do you remember that mother and child you rescued with Butch about two years ago? Maybe two and a half? Mom had been a victim for years, so had her child."

  "Yeah, they were the first people in your program."

  "Well, mom's not doing well. She didn't tell anyone that she was pregnant when she came here. She hid it so completely, none of us had any idea what was going on. Typical gestation is like eighteen months, but from what Havers told us, some babies can die in utero and just stay there--not possible with humans. However, Havers said he'd seen that before in rare cases."

  "Wait. What? Are you saying she . . ."

  "Yes. It's just terrible."

  Rhage tried to imagine a female holding a dead young within her womb. "Jesus."

  "She got sicker and weaker--until she lost consciousness and we called Doc Jane and Ehlena in. Jane took the baby out, but the mom . . ." Mary shook her head. "Mom isn't recovering. She's got a low-level infection that refuses to clear, and she just doesn't look right. And to make matters worse, she's refusing to have more treatment, and nothing is getting through to her."

  Which meant Mary had been on the front lines.

  Rhage tucked her in against his chest and felt like an asshole for coming on to her in text while she was dealing with life-and-death stuff. "Is there anything I can do?"

  She eased back and looked up. "Actually, this little break is giving me a second wind. You're timing couldn't be more perfect."

  He thought about what was going on back at the clinic with Selena. The situation was weighing on him for some reason, even though he wasn't that close to Trez.

  Good male, though. Real hard-ass with a good heart.

  "Well, let me know." He brushed his mate's hair back again. "Anything you need, at any time."

  As she lifted up onto her tiptoes, he met her more than halfway, kissing her lips once, twice, and again. She was, even more than his beating heart or his Brothers, the single most important thing in his life. From the instant she had first spo
ken to him, and he had closed his eyes and swayed at the sound of her voice, he had been lost in her.

  Without her being his magnetic north? He would be worse than cursed.

  "I love you," he whispered. "Now and forever."

  "I'll try to come home at dawn, but I don't know how this is going to go."

  "You do what you need to here. I'll check in and you'll update me when you can."

  "You are always so understanding."

  Like she knew that being separated from her during the day was a kind of hell for him.

  "You do the same for me, Mary girl. And your work here is very important."

  She tilted her head, her wide eyes grave. "Thank you. You know, that's . . . just really kind of you."

  "It's the truth." He kissed her again. "Go on, now. Get back to your patient."

  His Mary took his hand and squeezed. "I love you, too."

  He stayed where he was, watching her run back to the front door, take out her key, and let herself back into the house. Just before she disappeared, she gave him a wave.

  As the door shut, he imagined her turning the dead bolts, making sure everyone was safe. Working to improve the lives of the females and young inside.

  After a moment, he took out his cell phone and checked again. Nope. Trez had still not gotten back to him.

  That had been the second text he'd sent.

  With a curse, he scattered his molecules over to Darius's old house--and as he traveled, the image of Trez bolting out the door of the exam room dogged him. Ate at him.

  Shit, he hoped Selena was okay.

  For some reason, that was of vital importance to him.

  NINETEEN

  Xcor's heart beat irregularly as he sat upon the sofa opposite Layla. She had chosen the chair in the corner to place herself in, and consequently, the light from the fire reached only up to her legs. He could picture all of her, however; every detail of her face, her throat, her body was known to him as well as his own.

  The question she had asked was like a physical presence between them.

  "Well?" she asked. "Has it . . . come time?"

  The trepidation was obvious in that voice of hers, and he brought his palm up to rub his face. Unlike her, he was fully illuminated, and he didn't want her to be able to see him. If she was already anxious, the sight of him wasn't going to help.

  "Xcor."

  "I am not an animal."

  "I'm sorry?"

  "I would never . . . take you in your current condition. That would be beastly."

  The deep breath she took was audible even over the fire's crackle. And not for the first time, he hated the position he'd put her in. He was actively lording what he'd discovered over her, forcing her to be here with him, keeping her engaged with him even though it was obviously not something she would choose freely and in spite of the fact that it put her in danger.

  The Black Dagger Brotherhood did not forgive their enemies any better than he did. And consorting with a known traitor was a capital offense according to the Old Laws.

  Considering he and his Bastards had managed put a bullet into Wrath's throat last fall? That didn't put them on any . . . what were they called, Boy Scotch?--lists.

  "Nine months," she said.

  "What?"

  "Since we've been meeting."

  He thought back to the beginning, when she had fed him from her wrist beneath that tree. And then later, when he had disarmed himself and gotten into that car with her. He had kissed her then--

  "Are you aroused?" she said.

  As he recoiled, his body shifted of its own accord, his hips punching up before he could stop the movement.

  "Are you?" she whispered.

  "Do you really want me to answer that."

  "I asked, didn't I."

  "Yes."

  There was a long pause. "You are agreeing that I asked that?"

  He dropped his hand and stared into the dim corner, giving her every chance to remember exactly whom she was talking to. "I think we need to change the subject."

  "Answer me."

  "I did."

  Given the sound she made in her throat, he knew damn well she was swallowing hard, and he had no regrets that he made her feel awkward. After however many nights of meeting up--typically twice a week--he had never taken anything to the next level.

  At least, not while she was in his presence.

  When it was just him alone with his memories of her? All bets were off.

  At this moment, however, he felt like the boundary he had every intention of crossing at some point shouldn't be approached at all. And he told himself it was because of the pregnancy.

  Of course it was--

  "I want to see."

  Xcor went dead still, his breath freezing in his chest along with his heart. "Why? I can assure you I have the anatomy required of males--and in any event, I cannot fathom why its precise dimensions would be of any interest to you until the time, as you say, comes."

  "Show me."

  He frowned and glanced to the windows. He'd pulled the drapes. His bastards were out fighting, and they would not be returning to the property's main house until closer to dawn. But injuries in the field happened, and on occasion, required treatment away from the back alleys of downtown--

  Wait a moment. He was not dropping his trousers. So this analysis was unnecessary.

  Xcor got to his feet, and refused to look further than the fact that he did not want to expose himself to her. "We shall conclude this meeting the now."

  "Why? I should like to see you. It is a simple enough request."

  Not even close, he thought. "Why would you want to do that."

  "I thought you wanted to have sex with me. That's the whole point of all this, isn't it."

  Xcor prowled over to her, his temper rising--along with the heat in his veins. Bracing his hands on the arms of the chair, he leaned over, forcing her back into the cushions.

  "It is my intention," he snapped, "when the time comes, to spare you the visual. So I fail to see why a show would help you through what is going to be done to you."

  The wave of anger that wafted up from her was a shock. She had shown him fear. Courtesy. A gracious restraint that made him respect her as much as he coveted her.

  This was new.

  "What ails you?" he asked. "What e'er has made you thus."

  Without warning, and with surprising strength, she shoved him out of the way and burst up from the chair.

  Layla paced around, making a tight circle in front of the fire, and her emotions were such that the air vibrated about her.

  Eventually, she stopped before the flames, putting her hands on her hips as if arguing with them in her mind.

  "My sister is dying," she blurted.

  Xcor released his breath on a curse. "I am sorry."

  "Her life is coming to an end." Layla's hands went to her swollen belly. "I have never really had a lover. In spite of this pregnancy, I feel like I am a virgin."

  Xcor settled his weight upon the chair's padded arm. Or collapsed was more like it. For one, he hated thinking of the mechanics of how she had begotten the young. For two . . .

  He shook his head, tossing that thought right out. "The male has not mistreated you, has he?"

  "Oh, no. And I do love Qhuinn. He is my family. But as I told you, the mating that occurred during my needing was solely for the purpose of having a young. I can barely remember what transpired." She looked over at him, the flickering glow making her seem impossibly beautiful. "My sister is dying. I am alive and I have not lived. That is why I say to you . . . show me."

  *

  It was not supposed to be like this between them.

  Layla hadn't meant to reveal this truth about herself to Xcor. Or to ask him to do what she had. But ever since she had walked into this little house, her brain had been functioning on two tracks: one here with him, the other back in that exam room at the training center.

  Where she had stood over the contorted body of her
sister, horrified to find out that yet another of them had been stricken with the Arrest.

  Paranoia made her wonder if she had the disease; if she could pass it down to her young. There had been no episodes for her, but when had they started for Selena? Layla was younger than the other Chosen . . . was it only a matter of time?

  Of course, there was a good possibility that the mental wheel spin was tied to her hormones. She had noticed her thinking growing more convoluted and less accurate as the pregnancy had continued.

  That did not, however, change the reality that, as all but a virgin who was in fact pregnant, she was scared of never knowing sex. Angry at what she had been denied by fate. Grateful for her young, and yet stifled by her body's natural progress.

  And Xcor was the only one she could turn to. The Brothers were all mated, and besides, she didn't think of them sexually. Further, it wasn't as if she were going to come into contact with anything else of the male persuasion anytime soon.

  Xcor was her only avenue to express the toxic mix of fear and yearning.

  He cleared his throat. "You need to consider this more thoroughly."

  Lowering her eyes, she focused on his hips, at the straining length behind the fly of his combat pants. "I am."

  His sharp inhale inflated that powerful chest and he dropped his hands to cover himself. The veins running down into his blunt fingers were yet another symbol of the power in his body, and abruptly, she wondered what his hands looked like on his sex.

  "Leave the now," he said. "And consider--"

  "No."

  "I am not a toy, Layla. I am not something to be taken out and played with--and put away at will. Once certain doors are opened, they cannae be closed neatly. Do you understand? I have every intention of having you, but I shall endeavor to honor you and respect you for your station. This is against my nature, however, and if pushed too far, I shall revert. Especially when it comes to sex."

  As his words drifted across the tense air, his eyes went down her body, making her feel naked even though she was fully clothed. And round with the pregnancy.

  "I just want to watch you," she heard herself say. "I want to see what you look like when you pleasure yourself. I wish to start there."

  Xcor closed his eyes and swayed. "Layla."

  "Is my name leaving your lips like that a 'no'?"

  "I shall not deny you," he groaned, lifting his lids. "But you must be sure you want this. Think on it o'er day."

  At that, he gripped himself, closing a fist around his heavy arousal.