Deviant Fixation

by Valencia Carmelita

As soon as they spot me, wide grins form on their faces and they dash inside. Compliments pouring fourth excessively from their mouths.

  "If only Vladimir could see you right now!" Anya whistles.

  "He would be slobbering like a thirsty dog on a hot summers day!!!" Lorna adds.

  I'm completely flustered by their remarks, my face flushing from embarrassment along with an unknown feeling. I couldn't imagine such a scenario of him witnessing me in this negligee. I'd be so ashamed and shy.

  The girls refuse to let me depart this supposed slumber party. They switch on romantic American movies titled 'Dear John' and 'The Last Song', based upon Nicholas Sparks novels. Meanwhile Katie proceeds to give me a winged romantic eye makeup and Anya piles my long dark tresses into a half up half down style.

  "You look like a sultry, exotic enchantress from the Middle East!" Katie beams as soon as she's done.

  "Thanks, but I'm of central Asian descent." I correct her gently. "Afghanistan is located in Central Asia."

  "Hey Sanam.." Bev addresses me, she's busily texting on her phone while reclining on a comfy beanie. "There's a bottle of barbecue sauce in one of the cupboards near the last kitchen island, can you retrieve it for us?"

  "I can't go like this.." I shake my head at her in decline. "I don't want any man to see me like this.."

  "There aren't any men in the manor." Katie reminds with an exasperated huff. "The only men on the entire premises, are the Molotov Bratva guards! Their posts are stationed amongst the estates perimeter watch towers."

  "And we're tired, we prepared and brought all these snacks up." Anya exhales lazily, gesturing at the junk food. "And forgot the barbecue sauce."

  A couple of minutes later, I'm downstairs alone, rigidly complying to their request. I can't believe I let them talk me into dressing in such scandalous ensemble of clothes. I shouldn't have bothered confiding to them about my insomnia issue.

  I managed to convince them in allowing me to drape my shoulders with a chiffon shawl. Albeit, it does little to conceal me but it's still better than nothing. Yet I must clutch at it with one fist since it keeps slipping.

  I enter into a half illuminated kitchen while the lounge and fireplace area is enshrouded in darkness. As I'm trekking through, I can't help but sense as if I'm being watched.

  I pause midstep and glance in the direction of the dark lounge. What if someone was lurking in the shadows there? I resort to visibly shuddering. Perhaps it's just a figment of my imagination. I pivot on the heel of my bare feet and apprehensively scurry towards the last cupboard above the counter top.

  Accessing it, I spot the barbecue sauce all the way far up on the top shelf. Frowning, I balance my weight on my tiptoes and extend an arm upwards, fingers attempting to pry at the bottle.

  It was almost in my grasp, but I'd have to heave my weight up on the counter top a little. So I unclench my other hand from the chiffon shawl, pressing my palm flat against the counter top, and try again.

  "Stupid sauce!" I scowl under my breath as my fingers barely touch it.

  Suddenly I feel something brush against my back, I completely freeze with a shriek lodged in my throat. Yet it doesn't slip out as my nose is engulfed with that familiar potent fragrance of him.

  My eyes widen in alarm, as his weight leans closely against my back, and his arm extends out. He effortlessly reaches for the bottle of sauce. The calloused pads of his ivory fingers brush against my hand, as easily retrieving the sauce and places it on the counter top. The minuscule skin to skin contact sparks thrilling chills down my spine.

  I haven't turned around yet, too afraid, too embarrassed while my heart thuds rampantly in my ears. I notice his large masculine hands are splayed flat against the counter top on either side of me. I'm basically caged in by him.

  Seconds elapse by, yet we remain glued in this precariously strained position. The atmosphere palpable with tension so dense enough to cut through with a knife. Our heavy breathing was audible enough throughout the kitchen, as if we had run a marathon.

  A thousand different thoughts bombard my mind in varying muddled ways. Disturbing alien emotions percolate throughout my body like a riptide. I didn't understand what was happening to me.

  It's as if deep down inside, a part of me was feeling relieved that he is back home safe. Could it be that concern over his safety was the reason why I felt so troubled for the past seven nights?

  "Turn around, Sanam.." He orders drunkenly low and husky, causing me to draw in a deep nervous inhale.

  I'm suddenly too bashful, too aware of how I'm dressed. He's seen me naked before and that was supposed to be the last time. Now he's seeing me in such scantily suggestive clothes.

  "Please, Sanam.." His voice strained by urgency now with a painful edge.

  I turn tentatively around in the minuscule space between me and his broad chest. He's clad in a black leather jacket and black jeans, and there is a dark blonde stubble sweeping his shapely jaw. He appears nothing less than sinisterly dangerous.

  My face enflames by a scathing blush. Gulping nervously, I look up into a ravenous blue gaze darkened with inexplicable passion.

  Right in those constricting moments, I wanted the ground to open and swallow me up. For it was unbearable the amount of desire he was drilling into me with those intense eyes alone.

  Quickly casting my gaze down, I fidget in discomfort. The chiffon shawl begins to unravel away from my small shoulders. If I reach up to clasp at the shawl, I'd mistakenly touch him and I feared touching him.

  "V-Vladimir.." I stutter, panic lacing my voice as the shawl exposes the deep valley of my cleavage. "My-My shawl is-is falling..."

  His searing eyes caress the length of my bare neck, trailing down over the tops of my heaving breasts. He licks his lips and murmurs. "Then let it fall.."

  My eyes widen at his words full of unmasked need. Subconsciously with trembling fingers, I attempt to clutch at the shawl but it descends fully away, piling at my feet. In the process, the thin straps of the negligee start to slide down over my shoulders.

  "Vladimir..please.." I entreat on a breathless whisper of shyness, hoping he would retract a step. "My-My straps are slipping-"

  "Then let them slip.." His urgent voice hoarse with greed, expression appearing fully mesmerized by the sight of my body.

  When he inches closer, the tips of his fingers brush at my wrists. The contact draws longer then a second and I'm completely flustered enough to flinch.

  He squeezes his eyes shut and bites down on his bottom lip, groaning with need from this simple innocent touch.

  I take this opportunity to dash out and away from him.As I'm nearly halfway towards the exit, he implores in an agonized tone. "Sanam..wait.."

  I halt midstep, my heart feeling the pangs of ache within his voice. Gradually, I turn to look back at him and rebuke quietly. "You promised...you wouldn't touch me.."

  "Yes..I promised.." He nods slowly, throat bobs from swallowing hard and jaw clenches, yet avid eyes remain drinking me in. "You're so beautiful..it's been ages since I've last seen you.."

  My blush intensifies and he appears to notice as his eyes gleam with sudden tenderness. Inclining his head at an angle, he imparts with an husky endearment. "I've thought of you often..have you thought of me at all ?"

  The pain within my heart finally unfurls.My eyes gloss over with the start of tears and I could only meekly whisper back. "I thought I'd never see you again..."

  Chapter 33

  His brows crease in apparent concern as they caught the glimmer of tears swimming within my stare. I wasn't resilient enough to suppress the heartache of past seven days. It took over me tenfold in his presence.

  He inches forward. "Sanam, wh-"

  Suddenly all of the lights switch on, impeding him mid-sentence. The entirety of the kitchen and connected lounge is illuminated.

  "What's going on here?" I recognize none other than Rachael's miffed voice.

  She stands in her sleeping robes on the stairwell of the
kitchen lounge. Confounded, her eyes flit between Vladimir and I.

  But she's not the only other presence besides the two of us here. My alarmed eyes catch sight of Katie and Bev. The lights had exposed them hiding behind one of the couches in the lounge. Guilt ridden, they were smiling sheepishly at me.

  Within those awkward seconds, it dawns on me that this setup was construed by the two of them. With Rachael and I being unaware, they knew all along when Vladimir would be returning home.

  Perhaps he himself had also been plotting along with them. Now it made perfect sense of why they would clad me in such seductive ensemble. Then have me deliberately sent down to retrieve a condiment of which there was no actual need of.

  What exactly were they attempting to do?

  I wondered if they were trying to get me to allow him to touch me. Plotting to have me emotionally distraught and thereby allowing him physical contact.

  Nothing but ire commences within me as I aim them a glare. "How could you both do this to me? You knew he'd be returning."

  I pause and point to the negligee I wore. "You had me wear this purposely!"

  I shake my head at them in dismay. "I'm really disappointed."

  I swivel around in Vladimir's direction, levelling him a tremulous scowl. "I-I told you, I don't w-want any form of-of intimacy with you..Don't touch me ever again!"

  An inexplicable truculence flickers in his eyes, yet he remains pinning me with intensity. I couldn't endure being near him for much longer. Notably after however minimal was the emotionally charged vocal exchange between us.

  With that upsetting conclusion, I march furiously out of the kitchen. I hear Katie and Bev apologizing to me from behind.

  Completely unbelievable!!!!

  Later that night, I spiral into a restless slumber. The nightmare has returned again. Dark shadows encircling me. An extreme form of asphyxiation descended over my throat. Until I glimpse another towering shadow with gleaming sapphire eyes.

  It approaches rapidly, slaying the other ones just by its powerful presence alone. Then it snatches me up into its clutches. Yet somehow I feel a sense of security within its grasp. It carries me to safety.

  But then something different occurs this time in my dream. Something heart shattering. After escorting me to safety, the sapphire eyed shadow ends up diminishing. And I scream out for it to come back.

  I had awoken with an awful sensation pervading my heart. It was a peculiarly terrible feeling, as if I lost a close loved one again. It's the type of feeling I was engulfed by when I had lost my mother.

  As soon as I entered the bathroom, I spotted my reflection in the mirror. My cheeks shimmer with streaks of moisture. I hadn't realized I was crying until now. I resembled a complete miserable formation of what was once a contented girl last year this time around.

  Splaying my palms atop the ledge of the basin, I heave a shaky breath and attempt to calm my nerves.

  Don't cry , don't cry , don't cry...

  However, the vivid dream reruns through my mind. In the next few seconds I lean over the basin, sobbing my heart out. I couldn't decipher what was wrong with me. Why was I subjected to such an abnormal condition.

  Oddly enough, the image of him filters into my head like star dust amongst the enclosing darkness. The pain that had been evident in his voice, constricts my heart with need. A need that most certainly shocked me.

  My deceptive mind wouldn't replace him to its recesses. The only way I could prevent him from slipping into my thoughts was the time span immersed in my daily prayers.

  Two days elapse, my annoyance has dwindled for both Katie and Bev. I'm not the type to hold grudges for long. Most people I've met, have remarked on that note positively.

  Thankfully Vladimir remained away from me just as I had admonished him to in the kitchen that night of his arrival. I've only ever come face to face with him during breakfast, lunch and dinner.

  In the interim of all those times, he had refused to look in my direction. I could sense a solemn ire radiating from him. I wondered why he appeared this way. Was I the cause to his irritability?

  Everyone has steered clear out of his way for the most part. They all whispered under their breaths of how it felt like walking on eggshells around him for the past two days. He had little to none vocal exchange with the adult occupants.

  The children were the only exception to an amiable countenance from him. He would offer them his secretive smiles and interact on a friendly innocent basis. Or he'd provide them with expensive trinkets and gifts.

  Bilal's partiality for Vladimir was ever increasing. In a short interval, he refused heeding any of my admonishments to maintain his distance from Vladimir. It was most certainly disturbing to say the least.

  "Why do you hate him so much?" Bilal queries annoyedly on the third morning since Vladimir's arrival. "He's super nice, and mom said to always be nice to those who are nice to you."

  "Did I ever say I hate him?" I flare back in a miffed tone. "I'm only telling you to keep your distance since we won't be remaining here for long. I don't want you forming attachment to someone who will be temporary in our lives. I'm saving you the heartache, Billy."

  Bilal creased his brows in confusion. "What do you mean not remaining here for long?"

  "We're not!" I confirm earnestly. "Don't get used to it!"

  "But I wanna stay here!!!" Bilal pouts defiantly, folding his arms across his chest. "Besides, Vladimir says it's not safe being out there without his protection. He said there are a lot of enemies, so I don't know why you want to leave."

  Distress overtakes me as I grab ahold of my brother's shoulders. "What did he tell you about enemies?!"

  I was gravely hoping Vladimir hadn't revealed his mafia involvement to Bilal. The last thing I needed was my brother submitting to negative influence. He was already so fond of Vladimir and his Molotov cousins.

  Bilal offers me a puzzled look. "He said the enemies spotted us with him that day parachuting, so they might try to hurt us as well.."

  "Did he say why they are his enemies?" I question with incredulity pursing my lips.

  "Yeah.." Bilal answers without a trace of skepticism. "He said they were business competitors trying to sabotage his businesses and stuff."

  I let out a relieved exhale. "Right."

  A knock ensues against my door, I open it and find Rachael standing there. Her phone attached to her ear by one hand while she beckons me with the other out into the corridor. A concerned expression furrowing her brows.

  "What's the matter?" I voice in a low whisper.

  She distances the phone from her ear and relays. "Mister Mirza wants to speak to you."

  An estimated twenty minutes elapse. The call disconnects since mister Mirza's debilitation inhibits him from conversing an extended period of time.

  "What did he want to speak to you about ?" Rachael inquires keenly.

  "He requested that I should attempt to free Khalil from enslavement..." I bit my lip, eyes downcast. "And that I..strive to..reconcile with baba one last time."

  Rachael nods firmly. ""I'll see what I can do to help you."

  Instantly, I lock gaze with her. "But..you've done so much for me as is..I feel ashamed that I should burden you any longer."

  "I haven't done for you what mister Mirza has." She gently takes ahold of my upper arms, yet voice underlined with certain austerity. "He saved you from the horrid schemes of your stepmother and ex-mother-inlaw. And he's done so much for me.The least you and I could do for him is implement his last two requests."