Deviant Fixation

by Valencia Carmelita

  "Please!!" I cry out to him. "I can't live without you!!"

  My vision begins to darken, the mass of shadows swallowing me whole. I could no longer breath.

  ◆◆◆

  Gentle sounds of an uneven beat drift through the glaze of my slumber. I shift my face in its direction. A lulling caress of a breeze brushes over my cheeks.

  Slowly, my eyes blink to a greyed blur of a vision. I lick at my parched lips. Reaching up my aching hands, I rub at my eyelids. My vision eventually clears.

  The source of the gentle beat, was the sight of the rain outside of a familiar ceiling to floor length window. Immediate recognition enters my mind,

  I was in Vladimir's apartment complex in the city.

  My brain is bombarded with memories of what I remembered occurred before I woke up here. I begin trembling with renewed fear.

  Where are you Vladimir ?!!

  I divert my attention away from the window. Shifting my aching body to my left side, I arrive face to face with Vladimir's visage.

  My breath hitches in my throat, as the terror sweeps away from my thoughts instantly. Relief swamps my nerves while I gaze at his sleeping form on the bed, inches away from me.

  I will myself not to weep out in joy, sliding closer to him. Inwardly thanking Allah for keeping us safe.

  I gaze longingly at his face. My mind commits to studying each detail of his features. The way his eyelashes glisten as if dipped in gold itself framed by proper brows. The regal appearance of his chiseled nose, Cupid's bow mouth, slightly parted, drawing in even breaths.

  I dare slide even closer, my heart hammering within my throat.

  Is this a dream?

  Are you really here with me?

  By now I've gotten so close, our breaths mingling, noses just less of an inch away.

  You mean so much to me..

  Slowly, I coast my hand up. Shaking fingertips lightly grazing at his ivory cheek. His skin warm to the touch.

  You're so beautiful...

  My heart beats with elation at the feel of his skin.This wasn't a dream. This was real. He's here with me.

  I blink forcefully at my tears. I refused allowing my vision to blur and conceal him from me. I couldn't endure being veiled from seeing him.

  His even breaths allow my eyes to drift over at the expanse of his broad chest, heaving gently. I lower my head to his chest. Closing my eyes, I listen with appreciation, the melody of his valuable heart.

  Yet sudden force of emotions takes ahold of me. My mind overwhelms with so much unconditional love. It frightens me, as if a flood of confessions needed to overflow out of my mouth.

  I retract my head inches away from his chest to glance up at his slumber filled visage. Scooting gently back up, face to face.

  In total awe, I gaze at him all over again. My heart ready to burst in happiness. Lifting my hand, I slowly trail my fingers over his features. I weave them gently into his silky hair, marveling at each golden strand like I never did before.

  My gaze drifts over to his shapely lips. I desired nothing more to ease in for a kiss. Yet I remain still, staring yearningly. My fingers descend downwards, skimming over his parted lips.

  Suddenly, within a split second, his large hand ascends up and clasps over mine. A startled gasp escapes me. His lashes flutter open, revealing pristine sky blue eyes. They gaze into my soul.

  He presses my fingers to his lips and kisses them ardently without breaking gaze from mine. The gesture was enough to set my tears flowing.

  I start weeping in gratitude. "Don't leave me again, Vladimir!"

  "Shhh..i'm here now." He assures in that velvety deep voice I missed hearing so much.

  Immediately his strong arms envelop me, pulling me up half way over his own body. I breath in the scent of him, loving every second of closeness. My body shaking within his hold.

  His brows dip in apparent concern, expression full of warmth. "Seeing you cry, kills me inside.."

  "How could you say I'm free?" I shake my head at him in remembrance of his words at the hospital. "I thought I lost you!"

  Instantly his lips descend upon my forehead, kissing there as he sincerely apologizes "I'm sorry.." His mouth moving to my damp cheeks, planting kisses there before brushing his lips against my trembling ones. "Please forgive me, Sanam.."

  He keeps apologizing again in between the soft kisses upon my lips. I continue crying, clutching at his arms. Basking in the feel of him pressed against me.

  My heart was constricting with so much force of love for him. Soon enough he begins sighing against my mouth in between each kiss while muttering his confession. "I love you Sanam..." He kisses along my jawline. "..these words aren't enough.."

  My mouth tries to find his again and he quickly obliges as he continues passionately. "So sweet, Sanam..so lovely...so pure.."

  "I thought I'd never see you again.." I sob, winding my arms around him tightly.

  "I'm here now, shhh.." He croons, his fingers brushing away at my tears as he gazes at me with worry. "I'm not going anywhere.."

  "Don't!" I insist in anguish.

  "Never!" He whispers fiercely, he cups my chin and lifts my face to look him in the eyes. "I'm never leaving you."

  My soul connects with the earnestness of his. Each of his words were not meant lightly. A form of contentment begins to fill my heart.

  "Shhh..cry no longer.." His voice on the lulling precipice of serenity. "Sleep..you need more rest.."

  Surrendering myself to his gentle command, I lay back my head against the crevice of his warm neck. My sense of smell engulfed in the intoxication of his fragrance.

  One of his hands wove into my hair. The tips of his fingers rubbing soothing circle movements against my head. The sensation serves to pool warmth all over my body. I snuggle closer against him. Eventually, my eyes drift heavily close by a welcoming form of sleep.

  ◆◆◆

  I had gradually awoken next by the comforting balm of food. The warm fresh aroma of pumpkin spice, vanilla, berries and chocolate , lingers densely in the air.

  Before opening my eyes, I thought I was back at Nielsen manor again and mrs.Agnelli would be hard at work in the kitchen. Producing her finest of recipes into tasteful reality.

  A smile forms on my face. Blinking my eyes open, I find myself yet again in Vladimir's luxury flat. Immediately I glance besides me on the wide bed only to discover he's no longer laying there.

  Urgent concern nearly strangles me as I vault out of the bed. I pry open the bedroom door, the jolly laughter of children amongst the talkative voices of adults, flow through the secluded corridor from the tv lounge.

  I recognize most of the voices belonging to the occupants of the Nielsen manor. My heart relaxes in relief.

  "You're awake! Yassss"

  I nearly jump in fright at the sudden intrusion of Bev's greeting. I glance back to find her emerging fully from the kitchen entrance, a tray of breakfast platter balanced in her hands. Her eyes glowing with excitement at seeing me, as she finally arrives to a halt near my door.

  "Good morning, Bev." I smile back, unable to suppress embracing her.

  She collates the tray of varying food under one palm, as she occupies her other arm around me in a tight hug. "OmG Sanam!! I'm so glad to see you well again! "

  "Thanks, I'm so glad to see you too!" I voice my gratitude as we pull apart.

  Suddenly from the direction of the kitchen, Bilal and Charlie are running our way. They were laughing and giggling while Charlie held up a doll in his chubby hand.

  "Run, Charlie!!" Bilal encourages, quickly glancing back and forth. "She's gonna catch you!"

  An angry Arielle materializes out of the kitchen entrance nearly knocking over Mrs.Agnelli who's only stepped a foot into the corridor.

  The tray assembled with food in Mrs.Agnelli's hands nearly wobbles as she rebukes the kids. "Stop misbehaving, children!"

  As soon as Bilal spots me, he's unable to contain his happiness. "Sanam!!"

  "Bi
lly, thank Allah you're fine!" I embrace him into a tight hold, ruffling his hair. "I'm so happy to see you again!"

  "I knew you'd be okay!" Bilal exclaims proudly. "Vladimir said to me today that he would never let anyone harm us!"

  "Sanam! Cara mia!" Mrs.Agnelli's cheerful voice reaches my ears. I glance up and find Rachael, Rebecca, Katie, Anya and Lorna happily trailing behind Mrs.Agnelli. All of their gazes set on me as they carry salvers accumulated of food in their hands.

  "We're so happy to see you, darling!" Rachael proclaims, as all of the women quickly arrive to a halt infront of me. I swiftly greet each of them in an embrace, voicing my gratitude and exchange of earnest pleasantries with them.

  "Is it okay if we dine breakfast with you in your bedroom?" Lorna asks.

  "Mister Molotov will be occupying the dining area with the rest of the men." Anya explains. "Which is where we are headed, just to set the table for them."

  "Uncle wants to discuss some matters in private with men only." Katie scoffs with an eyeroll.

  "Some matters are not women's business." Mrs.Agnelli looks to her disapprovingly. "Sometimes men need to discuss things that are not deemed worthy of us hearing, or things most women wouldn't be interested in. You'll have to learn to accept that, Miss Katherine."

  "Men talk!" Rebecca scrunches her nose the slightest abjectly. "Not always interested in hearing it especially if it's mafia men debriefing."

  "Ofcourse you all can eat in here." I welcome them by pushing the door wide open to the room I had emerged from.

  "Thanks dear!" Rachael acknowledges. She gestures her chin to the salver in her hands. "We'll be back after serving the men, meanwhile you can freshen up."

  In the next ten minutes, I've exited the bathroom from a rejuvenating shower. I towel my hair as I access the wardrobe. An enlivening smile appears on my face when my eyes are gifted by the sight of beautiful new headscarves and modest feminine attires.

  A note was attached to the packaging. I pluck it up and begin reading.

  To my wife

  I've ordered this garb for you this morning. I hope my taste is to your liking. Otherwise, please hesitate not at informing me.

  ~ V. Alexander Nielsen

  With repleted joy, I hug the clothes to my chest as I kiss the note of his considerate inscription.

  In the span of the next half hour, I recline on cushions between Katie and Bev on the carpeting. Plates of the breakfast course passing around between all of the women with exchange of elated banter. The are children restlessly reclining besides Mrs.Agnelli, annoying her throughout the meal.

  All the women had spent hours in the kitchen back at the manor, preparing the delicious feast for Vladimir and I. Mister Molotov had insisted that the entire family accompany him to visit us in the city.

  My heart warms with affection at seeing the women around me. But there many questions left unanswered within my mind.

  I glance towards Rebecca. "I'm glad you've reconciled with Vladimir." I smile.

  She pauses eating. "All thanks to you, even though it was under dire circumstances."

  Rachael nods in agreement with her twin sister. "Who would have thought that Rebecca and Vladimir share the same rare blood type with Sanam."

  "Yes!" Mrs.Agnelli voices in apparent profoundness. "It was as if God wove their fates together for good reasons." She grips the small Catholic Cross necklaced around her neck and kisses it.

  I smile faintly at them. "How long have I remained unconscious?"

  "A day and a half is what Vladimir tells us." Bev replies while biting into a chocolate chip cannoli croissant.

  "Thank God you're fine, and the doctors said your pregnancy hasn't suffered." Rachael beams at me, reaching over to clasp my hand. She looks me in the eyes. "I can't wait till I'm an aunty."

  "Me too!" Both Katie and Bev declaim simultaneously.

  My face blushes scarlet at the reminder as I shyly glance down at my food while the women blithely awe at me.

  Yet the moment doesn't last long before I finally voice the question that's been nagging me. "Why...why did Ivan..." The smiles on their faces evaporate, yet I continue. "Want to kill us?"

  Hesitantly, Rachael relents into explaining the details. "He was the only son of uncle Demyan who was uncle Dimitri's oldest brother. Uncle Demyan would cause a lot of reckless trouble, so much so that our maternal grandfather found him unfavorable to inherit most important wealth and properties of the family. Uncle Demyan was extremely unforgiving towards grandfather for that, he'd constantly try to attack uncle Dimitri for the most acquired inheritance."

  Rebecca proceeds to chime in. "Uncle Demyan died young of liver cirrhosis since he had become a serial alcoholic because of broken family ties and greed, leaving his only son and widowed wife behind. Uncle Dimitri took them in immediately under his protection. He offered to raise Ivan as his own son like Grigori and the way he's adopted Serge after his second marriage. But uncle Demyan's wife poisoned Grigori's birth mother in revenge against uncle Dimitri. This lead to her exile from the family and a long jail time. Meanwhile Ivan was raised by uncle Dimitri for the rest of his life growing into adulthood."

  "It's still hard to believe Ivan would collaborate with Doucette and stab us in the back after all uncle Dimitri has done for him!" Katie breathes in a rush of disappointed ire. "We trusted him, I thought he was another protective brother for me until he tried to ambush and kill my own brother!"

  "I'm deeply sorry for the way things turned out in the family." I relay my earnest sympathy as I pull her into my embrace while she weeps.

  "Don't apologize for anything!" Anya insists to me.

  "She's right!" Lorna adds knowingly. "Had you not been in our lives, Ivan and Doucette's evil plans would have arrived to fruition."

  "We would have been devastated!" Bev agrees wholeheartedly.

  "Now all that matters is that we have eachother." Mrs.Agnelli reminds cheerfully. "Let's not dwell on the past any longer now, don't worry Sanam over this! She's pregnant and needs happiness!"

  They all voice their agreements with Mrs.Agnelli. My mouth breaks into a chuckle. "It's alright, and I am happy..happy to be surrounded by you all again."

  "We are your family now, Mrs. Nielsen!" Rachael emphasizes with a sparkling grin. My cheeks renew in a blush at the reminder.

  There's a beatbox knock at the bedroom door, momentarily obstructing our palaver.

  "I'll get it!" Katie arises up to answer the door, revealing a grinning Serge behind it. She immediately scowls at him. "Why are you intruding upon a WOMEN ONLY meeting?"

  His grin broadens mischievously at her before he captures my gaze and waves at me. I wave back.

  "Go away Serge!" Katie attempts to close the door but he's far too strong for her to do anything but struggle.

  He leans in further, elated curiosity overtaking his features. "Oh come on Katie, let me in on this charming feminine assemblage."

  "Why?!" She glares frustrated.

  "But you should allow me in though." He smirks down at her. Angling his head, eyes alight with amusement, he reminds. "You are afterall an advocate against gender discriminated meetings."