The Hat Trick

by Tara Wimble

  Hope can’t remember much from there other than lying over Vianne initially, like her body would shield Vianne better than firing back at them would. It fooled her for a few seconds until she could breathe with Vianne hidden behind the car. Broken and bruised but Hope found her gun and held off until Uma’s unit arrived.

  Somewhere in the madness she got the one in her thigh for the trouble.

  “Why don’t you ever think that’s good enough?” Sara frowns. “Scully and then the issues with the force and then this? You don’t know how much people look up to you, how many people want to thank you for what you do, me included.”

  She looks at Vianne again and her eyes soften. Hope’s own eyes betray her and she sees someone else sitting there in front of her. She blinks and Janice is gone.

  “You’re good enough. You’re more than good enough and I wish you’d let yourself just take that in.”

  “I’m not-” Hope can’t even find the words. It’s not the right time or the right person to be saying this too. “I’m sorry.”

  She came too close again. Another shooting. Another partner. Another screw up to add to the rest of them and this time it’s one too far.

  She gets up quietly and picks up her jacket again. Sara’s confused face follows her to the door. “I’ll stop by again when she wakes up, but I have to go-”

  Sara panics seeing that she’s being left alone again. “Hope, wait.”

  “It’s not-”

  “You saved her life-”

  “But what if I didn’t?” Hope whirls around with whispered doubt. “What if the next time I’m not there? What if the next time my luck finally runs out and I have to face the damage to the people I care about, that I couldn’t stop from happening?”

  Sara stares deeply into her eyes and after a moment says: “This isn’t about the shootings, is it?”

  She has a gift for it. For seeing past the overwhelming stature of things to bring out the tiny details, the hidden secrets that no one else can see and that’s what makes Sara’s work so breathtaking to behold. But now she’s unraveling Hope herself, and she can’t afford to break down here and now while Vianne is still unconscious.

  “I have to go.”

  Sara grabs onto Hope’s jacket stopping her from leaving.

  “Would you just stop making this about some fucking issue that doesn’t even matter!” Sara yells. “They gave you a medal, you stood up and smiled and accepted that it happened and that it could happen again.”

  “And it did. And it happened to Vianne.” Hope spits back out.

  Like the petal torn in two, Hope sees Sara snap.

  Her pent up frustration and hurt lashes out in a single shove to Hope’s chest. Her shoulder burns as she hits the wall. Her arms come up to fight Sara off but the second motion doesn’t come.

  Sara’s face is white. Nurse’s run towards them anticipating a fight but Hope knows Sara is dead on her feet to throw anything more at her. She turns and doesn’t look back.

  “This isn’t about making one save, Hope.” Sara calls after her. “It’s about making sure they’re still around for you to make a second one.”

  Hope walks a little slower to catch the end of Sara’s parting words.

  “And maybe, you’ll find someone who’ll save you too.”

  ***

  ROBIN comes into their room about eleven the next morning and she’s already ruined Janice’s gesture without meaning to.

  After leaving the hospital, with Hope’s face lingering in her mind, Janice couldn’t sit still. Blood is a color hard to wash out of your thoughts, especially when it’s the blood of someone you care about. Uma had driven her home with Laurel and Amy, blasting loud music which seemed more for her own benefit than those in the car with her.

  Seeing Laurel and Amy to their room Janice had been at a loss. Of course they’d asked her to stick around and stay with them. They’d seen how pale she was and how shaken seeing Vianne being run in and Hope with blood on her face had made her. But traveling away from the hospital had given her a distance and a new truth to swallow.

  Life is sickeningly short and Janice knew that she couldn’t use that excuse to forgive and forget anything but she could try to mend what she can.

  Her thoughts didn’t stray far from Hope as she cleaned out her shared room and went about washing sheets and dusting. She lost track of the time but clearing the clutter helped her to breathe a little easier. Hope was okay. Vianne was going to be fine.

  Her sleep was fitful and distressing. Her throat felt lined with cotton wool when she woke up and it didn’t go away even after she’d showered. Instead she walked around with blistering skin and a lump in her throat until she remembered what she’d promised herself the night before.

  Repair what you can.

  She couldn’t start with Lexie because as long as Lexie remained convinced of herself and of her being right, Janice couldn’t face up to her. Robin was a different story.

  Janice had gone into town for breakfast to bring back. For snacks and the idea of an apology that soon formed words the more she planned it in her mind.

  She could apologise to Robin because the wrong she did to her was accidental yet hurtful. There was no warning that Robin would have been outed when Janice told Jeri where Lexie was and Janice can start to mend that. For Lexie, apologies would have to be done all at once.

  It was all set up when Robin walked in, covered in faded neon greens and oranges, before she collapsed on her bed. Not noticing Janice’s efforts or the fact she was waiting up for her.

  The slump in her back and the fact that she didn’t even take her shoes off signals a lost cause when Janice sees one. Robin’s dead to the world and now she has two breakfasts to eat while trying to think of what to do next.

  Apologizing sucked.

  ***

  SHE slept a few hours before waking up again. Lexie is sure that her dorm hates her for the time she spent in the shower trying to get rid of all the neon paint that she’d managed to douse herself in over the course of the night.

  She stood in a pool of green, scrubbing her skin, to get rid of the physical markers. The invisible ones, that only she gets to feel, don’t wash off. Like how Robin’s eyes lit up the moment Lexie let herself go and dove onto the dance floor. The weightless feeling of hands on her hip and spinning around while people passed out small bottles of paint.

  Lexie remembers closing her eyes while Robin wiped her thumbs over her cheek and she went way back, to the soccer game when Robin did something like this the first time. Color bringing them together again.

  They’d gone back to Lexie’s empty room. No Rhetta, no Jeri waiting in the shadows, no expectation. Just realization that they could suspend themselves in a moment for however long they wanted to. For however long it took them to pull at shirts and shorts and sheets.

  The first time glowed on their skin for hours afterwards. She may have washed away the physical and the paint, but she can’t wash off Robin’s hands on her skin, her mouth or the sweetness of the kiss she gave her when Robin had to leave.

  It’s hard to think it was only a few hours ago.

  She dunks a sponge into a red bucket, letting the warm water wash over her hand, before pulling it out. Working on her bike is the only routine that she can manage right now. It’s propped on the grass outside the Bike Store for cleaning. Lexie wrings out the sponge when Laurel makes her way across the path to her.

  “Hey.”

  They haven’t seen each other in a while. “Hey.”

  The hardest part about these fractures in her friendships are how far they crack. Laurel is still as warm and delighted to see her when she starts talking about her day and how her hand is, but there’s a Janice shaped wall built up to their necks as well.

  “You’ve got paint under your ear.” Laurel points out. “You went to that?”

  “Robin’s idea. She took me from the darkroom to-”

  “The Darkroom?” Laurel smiles. “Who took you to that
place?”

  Lexie feels a rumble in her speech when she talks about Rhetta and her friends. As if she’s betraying her friendship group by hanging out with other people. It’s stupid to think that really.

  “Film students.” Laurel jokes. “What do you expect? It’s all dark curtains and dramatics.”

  “And midnight neon raves apparently.” She adds on when Lexie laughs.

  “I had a good time.”

  “You had a good time or you had a-” Laurel winks. “-good- time.”

  The sponge floats in the bucket abandoned for now as Lexie blushes. “So what brings you out here?”

  Laurel picks at the grass, rolling blades together in her hands. “Just an offer that you can’t refuse. Or will but I’ll convince you otherwise.”

  Lexie spots the bandage on Laurel’s hand. She’s heard how that happened already. Though Facebook isn’t the kindest of news breakers. “How so?”

  “Everyone loves me.”

  It’d be arrogant if it weren’t true. Laurel has a way with people.

  “A couple of us are thinking about getting together in the open area and watching a movie. Probably a chick flick. Probably minimal deaths. You should come.”

  Lexie bites her lip and looks at the frame of her bike. “A couple of us?”

  Laurel breaks the blades of grass in her hands. “Me, Amy, Robin, you, and Janice.”

  Lexie sighs. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  “Because you still haven’t made up?”

  Because it’s getting to the point where Lexie isn’t sure that she has to. An eye for an eye.

  “I don’t want to bring down the mood.”

  Laurel shakes her head.

  “Look, I know that you’re not talking but if you’d just maybe watch it with us?” Laurel asks. “It’s a stretch I realize but, it’ll be good for all of us since I think Janice’s still rattled over the thing with Hope.”

  “They haven’t spoken in weeks.” Lexie states.

  “No, I mean the shooting thing.” Laurel clarifies. “Hope’s partner Vianne’s in the hospital. They got caught in the crossfire on patrol- did no one tell you?”

  Bile comes up her throat in shock. Distance is everything she has in this case but degrees of separation still have her reeling in surprise that someone she’s met has been shot.

  “No.” Lexie exclaims. “Definitely not. Is she alright?”

  Laurel’s stony face is uncertain. “From what we know? She made it through the surgery but it’s not looking good.”

  “Shit.” Lexie watches the sponge float in the bucket. “And Janice?”

  Laurel pauses, collecting what she wants to say. “She’s okay.” Lexie nods clouded by the new knowledge. “I know that things are still tense but, I honestly don’t think she meant to set your sister on you in a cruel way.”

  Lexie doesn’t say anything at first because she’s had a couple of days to think about it. The shock is still there but her sister hasn’t completely phased her out since. It’s just different. “I can’t really process it yet. But I know. I know she wouldn’t have done it if she’d known what we’d walk in the room like.”

  “Maybe you turning up would open a conversation, even if it’s only about a movie.”

  Lexie’s smile feels like a grimace.

  “Think about it and whether you do or you don’t, things will work themselves out eventually.” Laurel is so certain about this that Lexie almost believes her for a second.

  “In other news, you went to a rave with your girlfriend last night and your wet hair is telling me, quick shower;” Laurel gives a slow smile. “So, you and Robin got down then?”

  Lexie throws the sponge at her.

  Chapter 14

  ROBIN stays quiet for a long time as they walk. Janice isn’t leading them in any conscious direction, through residential areas and lines of local stores. Walking right now is probably showing her more of the city than she’s ever seen. But it’s necessary because sitting in that tiny shared room trying to apologise to Robin for what she’s done was unbearable to think about.

  “But you know why-”

  “It was wrong. I know.” Janice stuffs her hands in the pockets of her jeans because she doesn’t want to swing them. “I wasn’t thinking. I was angry.”

  “I wish you weren’t.” Robin sighs. “Angry.”

  Janice glances at her friend. “I’m working on it.”

  “I know.” Robin is relaxing the further away they’re getting from campus. She’s been like this since she came back from her night out a few days ago. Now that Janice has had a chance to explain, to talk about what’s going on with her and how she’s sorry for outing Robin and Lexie to Lexie’s sister without realizing it- things are getting easier.

  Though she still has to figure out what to say to Lexie. Their time here is short and Janice has been getting nervous after signing for the apartment they’re going to live in next year, wondering whether or not she’ll have to find someone else to live with them.

  “Are you mad at me?”

  “I-” Robin stutters over her instant answer. Janice thinks she may have just outright said no but that’d be a lie. “I was. I was because I didn’t think you’d do something so purposely stupid.”

  “It wasn’t purposeful.”

  “It was stupid by accident.” Robin carries on. “You’ve just gotta sort it out.”

  “I’m trying to figure out how.”

  Robin offers small suggestions about where Lexie is gonna be and what they’ve all got coming up. Finals are rapidly approaching and they’ve got to think about Laurel wanting them to all road trip up to watch Amy play a friendly with her soccer club. To get on with all that, Janice knows she has to fix things with Lexie.

  They decide to track back to get food and think about this more when they stumble into some abandoned boxes in front of an apartment complex. There’s three of them, heavy looking, with scrawled words like ‘kitchen’, ‘living room’, ‘bedroom-’.

  “Hey!” A voice yells at them loudly, a reaction to them standing so close to the boxes and when Janice looks up she spots Sara jogging from the door of the complex in their direction. “Hey thos-”

  She realizes it’s Janice around the same time that she slows her run. “Janice.”

  “Sara.” She’s stunned. Thinking on it she doesn’t know why. Seeing Sara here, with boxes like she’s moving into an apartment, is to be expected. Why Janice ever thought that Sara would go back to Germany before Vianne got out of the hospital seems stupid. “You’re moving in-?”

  Sara leans on the stack of her boxes. “Not completely. I just had some things shipped over- Had to call my college.” She glances at Robin and Janice struggles to keep up with her.

  “Sorry- Sara, this is Robin. She’s my roommate.”

  Robin coughs. “Best friend.”

  There’s no hiding the joy that spreads over her face. It’s a stark contrast to the tired, grey expression Sara wears. “Robin, this is Sara. She’s Vianne’s girlfriend.”

  “Hope’s Vianne?” Robin asks.

  “The very one.” Sara responds and it gets awkward quickly as all three of them start thinking about hospitals and bullets and blood.

  Robin breaks the ice quickly. “So, do you need help with these?”

  Sara weakly begs off. “No, I’m good. These are the last few. I’m sure you have somewhere to be-”

  They don’t. “Whatever, it’s alright.” Robin says. “We’ve got arms.”

  Janice scoffs, wanting to see Sara smile for a second. A second in the midst of all of this horror. “Well, some of us have better arms than others.”

  She takes the top box, finding it a little heavier than she thought it’d be, but manages. Robin grabs the other and jokingly challenges Janice to a test of endurance up the stairs. She sets off ahead of them when Sara tells her which apartment it is, leaving Janice to hang back with Sara supporting the last box on her shoulder.

  “How is she?
”

  Sara purses her lips. “In and out. She sleeps a lot. The pain is still-” She gets choked up. “Um, sorry. She’s- the surgery went well, they got everything out but they’re not sure how much of her knee will-”

  Their voices echo more inside and Sara breathes out heavily trying to hold herself together.

  “I’m sorry.” Janice focuses on the boxes. “So, you’re moving back?”

  Sara sniffs and nods. “There’s no other option for me. I can’t leave. I don’t want to leave.” Janice can’t begin to grasp their connection. It’s hard to look at the pain in Sara’s face as they talk. “So I called my department in Germany and told them I needed to either pull out of study and transfer my credits over here, or defer the year. They’re gonna get back to me.”

  Sara and Vianne’s apartment appears to be on the third floor of the complex. Robin steams ahead, determined to win. “Being here is more important than being there. So I got my friend Niki to send my stuff over when I found out it was serious-”

  “Are you here alone?” Janice voices her concern. “Is that good for you- is your family around or?”

  Sara shakes her head. “Vianne’s family lives in Virginia and her brother Kyle is back in New York. He’s flying over at the end of the week and staying with me for a while. My mom and dad- I told them not to come. It’s a long trip.”

  Janice hates that Sara seems to resigned to living here alone while making trips to the hospital day to day. “Is there anything you need? Like, Robin and I we could run and get you food while you do other things.”

  “You’re sweet but, I’ll be okay.”

  They make it up to the apartment to find Robin flexing her noodle shaped arms. It brings a forced smile to Sara’s face as she opens the door for them to push the boxes inside.

  “You won’t.” Janice continues their conversation. Robin, who’s been listening to them on the way up, waits for Janice to do something. “Listen, how about- we help you get things sorted here.”