Hard To Love You (The Love Series)

by Smith, Megan

  “Hailey, don’t do that. I’ve told you I’m not going anywhere. I’ll always be here for you. I didn’t show up late to hurt you. You should be enjoying your party not worrying about me. You’re in high school and you should be having fun these last few years.” I couldn’t bring myself to mention that she should be dating too. Even though Hailey was off limits that didn’t mean I had to like the fact that she should be going out with other guys.

  “I am having fun, Mase.” She rolled her eyes, “You’ve been telling me to enjoy myself every time you come home. Don’t you get it? I am having fun. I just have a little more when you’re home.”

  “Good. Do you want to have a little fun now?” I asked trying to steer this conversation into better territory.

  “Yeah.”

  I pulled her to me and wrapped her in my arms. “You see my bike yet?”

  She shook her head, “Where is it?”

  “Turn around.”

  She did and then walked over to it. “That’s hot, Mase. When are you taking me out for a ride?”

  The front door opened and MacKenzie, Jaylinn, Cooper and Hunter walked out; a few of their friends followed a few seconds later but stayed up on the porch.

  “Want to go now?” I asked her.

  Her eyes widen, “Are you serious?”

  I chuckled, “Of course.”

  “I don’t think that’s such a good idea, Hails.” MacKenzie spoke up.

  “I’ll be fine.” Hailey told her.

  “Coop, can I borrow your helmet for a few minutes?” Cooper walked over and handed it to me. I slid the helmet down over Hailey’s head. She pushed her bangs out of the way while I fastened the straps under her chin.

  I sat on the bike and balanced it while Hailey climbed on. I realized then how big of a mistake this actually was going to be. Her body was going to be wrapped around mine. I started the bike and revved the engine a few times, needing a distraction from Hailey sitting behind me; with a dress on nonetheless. I said over my shoulder, “Hold on as tight as you can. When I lean into a turn, lean with me, and whatever you do, don’t let go.”

  I leaned forward and Hailey squeezed my hips with the inside of her thighs. I could feel the heat from between her legs. Then she wrapped her arms around my stomach and locked her fingers together. My dick started growing hard. Fuck! I had to get out of here.

  I gave the bike a little gas and we slowly went down the sidewalk until we were able to get on the street and then I gave it even more gas and we were flying.

  I didn’t know where to take Hailey so I took her where I always ended up; down at the baseball field. I pulled into my old high school parking lot and killed the engine. I took my helmet off and looked over my shoulder and told Hailey to slide off.

  When she did I climbed off myself and then helped her with her helmet. “Why am I not surprised that we wound up here?”

  I laughed. She shouldn’t be surprised at all. “Where else would I take you?”

  She shrugged her shoulders and walked towards the field, I followed behind her. As she walked her hips swayed back and forth. Shit! I can’t think like this.

  “Mason!” Hailey yelled.

  “What?”

  “I can feel you staring at me you know.” She said with an amused tone in her voice.

  “I can’t help it.” I laughed.

  She stopped walking and waited for me to catch up. Lucky the lights for the field were still on, I’m sure a game had wrapped up not too long ago. The smell of the dirt made me feel at home.

  “So how’s college going?” She asked as she took a seat in the dugout.

  I took a seat next to her. “It’s going, there is always practice, a game, school work and parties to go to so there is something going on all the time.”

  “Girls?” Hailey said as she looked out over the field, avoiding my face.

  “Lots.” And that was all I was willing to tell her. I’m sure she could figure out for herself. She knew how the girls were in high school.

  “That’s what I figured.” She said with a nervous laugh.

  “They don’t mean anything, Hailey. I don’t have time for any of them.” And that was the truth. I didn’t have time and I didn’t want them to interfere with my schedule.

  “I miss you, Mase.” Hailey said softly.

  I reached over and grabbed her hand that was resting on the bench. “I miss you too, Boo.” She looked over and smiled at me. “Come here.”

  She stood up and I pulled her into me, so she was straddling my legs. I pulled her closer and rested my head against her chest while she ran her fingers through my hair. I sighed; I loved it when she did that.

  She put her tiny hands on either side of my face and tilted my head up. “Kiss me, Mase.” She didn’t ask, she told me.

  I crashed my lips to hers. Everything with Hailey was so strong, so hot. When she would get pissed off at me she would be cold as ice. I loved that she told me what she wanted, what she felt.

  Hailey moaned into my mouth. Then all of a sudden it was pitch black. The overhead lights had been turned off.

  Hailey pulled away and started laughing. “I guess someone wants us to leave.” She said as she climbed off my lap.

  As she turned around to walk away I caught her hips and drew her back into my lap. “Where are you going?”

  I felt her start to shake. “I thought we were leaving.” She whispered.

  “We will in a few minutes.” I whispered into her ear. Then I took her ear lobe into my mouth and bit down gently.

  She shivered.

  I held her close to me for a little while, enjoying her being in my arms, kissing her neck, but I knew I had to get her back. MacKenzie and Mom would send out a search party soon, plus she had her friends waiting for her. “I guess I should get you back huh?”

  Hailey shook her head, “No, we can stay here a little while longer.”

  I laughed and gently pushed her up so I could stand. I grabbed her hand and helped her find our way back to my bike. I grabbed the helmets, handed one to her while I climbed on. I was about to put my helmet on when I looked over at Hailey who was just standing there staring at the bike.

  “What’s wrong?”

  She gazed at me for a second before looking at the bike and then to me again. “Can I try something?”

  I eyed her suspiciously, “Uh, yeah I guess so.”

  She walked over like she was going to slide on but she was standing the wrong direction when she lifted her leg and slid onto the bike facing me. Her legs wrapped around my hips. Her heat encased me again and I got the smell of her arousal. Her chest pressed up against mine and we were now face to face. Hailey kept wiggling, trying to get situated and every time she did my dick twitched. I was becoming more and more uncomfortable as my dick pressed up against my zipper.

  I grabbed her hips, “Hails, stop moving.” I said with a nervous chuckle.

  She smiled. She knew exactly what she was doing. Hailey leaned forward and started kissing my neck and then slid her hands up under my shirt.

  “Hailey,” I moaned as she raked her nails down my chest to the waistband of my jeans.

  “Hmm.” She shifted her hips again. “I want you, Mason.”

  It was like a cold bucket of water was thrown on me. I wasn’t expecting that from her. “Hailey, you don’t mean that.”

  She stopped kissing me and looked me right in the eyes. “I do, Mason. I’m ready, more than ready and I want it to be with you.”

  I knew I had to tread lightly about this with her. Her dad had done a number on her and I knew if I pushed her away the wrong way it would end badly.

  “Not like this Hailey. You deserve better than me taking you here on my bike in the school parking lot.” I said as I kissed her lips.

  She didn’t kiss me back. I brought her body closer to mine. “I’m not saying no, Hailey, just not like this. That’s all.”

  “Fine.” Hailey tried to slide off but I stopped her. I knew what that fine meant. She
was pissed off and wanted me to be left alone.

  “Hailey,” I said with a warning. “I’ll do it but you’ll regret it tomorrow. You forget I know you Hailey. You’re hard on the outside but soft on the inside.”

  This time when she tried to slide off the bike I let her. She put the helmet on, and then climbed on behind me. She wrapped her arms around me but a little too gently for my liking. I grabbed her hands and pulled her closer to my back. “Hold on tight, Hailey. I’m not fucking around.” I meant it as rough as it came out. Hailey needed it that way sometimes to get it through her thick head.

  She sighed loudly and then interlocked her fingers around my stomach.

  “I’m stopping at Wawa before we go home.” I told her before I started the bike.

  By the time we pulled up to Wawa a few minutes later she still hadn’t relaxed. Her body wasn’t as tense as had been though.

  “You want anything?” I asked as we climbed off the bike.

  Hailey raised her eyebrows at me. “Besides that.” I laughed.

  She took a step closer to me so we were practically chest to chest. “Well since I can’t have your,” she looked down between us and then back up to me, “I want chocolate milk.”

  I laughed and threw my arms around her and we walked into Wawa and I bought her the drink.

  “Mason,” Mark, another pitcher, called my name. “Where’d you go?”

  I shook my head, “Sorry, I spaced out.”

  When I look around the stands they are mostly empty. The game had ended and we won five to two. I find Cooper in the locker room with a towel wrapped around his waist.

  “Hurry up dude I’ve got somewhere I need to be.” I say to him.

  “Just take off. Jaylinn is picking me up.” Cooper says as he reaches for a shirt in his locker.

  I want to talk to him about Lily with the wedding being over but now I’m not going to get a chance. I don’t want family business discussed in the club house so I make myself a promise that I will talk to him as soon as I come home tonight. If I were lucky I wouldn’t be coming home until tomorrow night though.

  An hour later I pulled up in front of Hunter and MacKenzie’s house. Here goes nothing.

  There is a knock at the door and it couldn’t have come at a better time. I called Jaylinn earlier to see if she could stop by and keep me company. Ryder isn’t any fun since all he really wants to do is sleep today. Poor little guy is so exhausted from all yesterday’s excitement.

  When I open the front door I am surprised to see Mason. “Uh … hey … what are you doing here?”

  Mason doesn’t answer; he pushes the door open and walks in.

  “Mason?”

  “What?” he asks as he makes himself comfortable in the living room.

  “You didn’t answer me.” I say as I walk around the sofa.

  “You wouldn’t like my answer.” He states. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t.

  I roll my eyes and Ryder lets out a cry. I turn off the monitor that is sitting on the end table and walk upstairs to get him. When I go into his room he has rolled on his stomach and is still crying. I reach down and cradle him in my arms trying to settle him down. “Oh Ryder, it’s ok monkey, Mommy and Daddy will be home in a few days.” I say as I pat his bottom and pace back and forth.

  “Can I try?” Mason asks me as he sneaks up behind me.

  I stare at him in disbelief. He normally doesn’t do well with a crying Ryder. Mason gets all freaked out cause he thinks he’s doing something wrong.

  He holds his strong arms out. “Let me see him.”

  Ryder starts to reach for him. “Come here buddy, Uncle Mason will figure out what’s going on with you.” As soon as Ryder settles into Mason’s arms his cries quiet to a soft whimper. Nice. I used to have that touch with Ryder.

  “Where’s his blanket, Hails?” Mason asks as he shushes Ryder, rocking him in his arms.

  I go over to the diaper bag that I still haven’t unpacked yet and pull Ryder’s soft, baby blue blanket out of his bag and hand it to him. “Here you go.” As I hand it over a little piece of paper falls to the ground. I reach down and pick it up.

  Hails

  Use this when Ryder will not stop crying.

  Xoxo

  Kenzie

  Great! I should have known MacKenzie would have left me little notes like this. She was worried about leaving her baby for a week while she and Hunter were off enjoying their honeymoon.

  Mason starts laughing, “My sister really did think of everything, huh?”

  I crumple up the paper and throw it at him. “Yeah she did.”

  I leave them in the room and saunter downstairs to make myself some coffee. I really should order some takeout since I haven’t been eating properly lately, but coffee sounds better at this point.

  Mason strolls down with a now happy Ryder in his arms. “When did he eat last?”

  I look at the clock on the microwave. “He’s due for a bottle.”

  I go over to the sink and start fixing Ryder’s milk. When it’s all warm and ready I place a burp cloth on my shoulder and go into the living room where Mason and Ryder are. The sight in front of me stops me in my tracks. Mason has Ryder propped up on his lap watching the Yankees and Phillies battling it out in the last inning. Mason looks so comfortable and at ease with Ryder. My heart aches as I picture what Mason would look like if he and I were to have a little boy or girl. I clear the thought away just as quickly as it came. Now is not the time for that.

  Mason catches me staring at him, “Bottle ready?”

  “Uh,” I look down to the bottle still in my hand, “Yeah.” I go over to where they are sitting on the couch and grab for Ryder.

  Mason places a hand on my wrist stopping me. “I got it. Why don’t you go take a bath and relax? I know you aren’t going to get much time for yourself for the next couple of days while you have him.”

  I gawk at him. What’s he really up to? “You sure?”

  “Positive.” Mason grabs the bottle, lays Ryder down in his arms and then turns his attention back to the game.

  Well then, I’m taking advantage of this time to go and soak in MacKenzie’s massive tub that Hunter’s just put in for her. I turn the kitchen light off and make my way upstairs to grab a pair of yoga pants and a tank top from one of my bags in the guest room. I go into MacKenzie’s bathroom and start filling up the tub, making sure to add lots of bubbles, and then work on lighting a few candles around it. I dim the lights and strip out of my clothes. I dip my toes in first, feeling the temperature. It’s perfect.

  I sink down until my whole body is covered, leaving only my face above the water. All the sounds drown out until I can only hear myself breathing. I close my eyes for just a few seconds but when I open them Mason is standing above me.

  I sit up quickly and try to cover by body with the bubbles. “Damn it, Mason. You could have knocked.”

  He laughs, “I called your name. You didn’t hear me.”

  “Can you turn around? Better yet, get out. I’ll be out in just a second.”

  Mason kneels down next to the tub, “Hails, I’ve seen and tasted every inch of your body. There’s no reason to hide.” My cheeks burn thinking about the first time Mason saw me completely naked.

  It was prom weekend for MacKenzie and I. Mason and I were on really bad terms after I found out that he slept with that whore Lily back in the eighth grade. I wasn’t stupid, I knew he had been with other girls; but Mason sleeping with Lily was inexcusable to me because he wouldn’t sleep with me. I always thought it was because of our age, apparently not. I hated Lily with a passion and Mason knew that. Mason had been trying to call and text me but I’d just ignored him. One of the high school basketball players, Matt, had asked me to prom. I agreed just because I really had no one else to go with and he had been the first one to ask me. Matt and I spent a lot of time together leading up to prom and I had started developing feelings for him. This was the first guy I felt anything for aside from Mason. Yeah I’ve ha
d boyfriends here and there but I never felt a thing for any of them. I guess I kept trying, hoping I could eventually get over Mason.

  MacKenzie and I had gone out to get our hair done right after school on Friday. Once that was done we had gone back to her house to get ready before the limo came. I was pulling out my clothes so I could rearrange my bags to get everything to fit when the box of condoms I bought fell on the floor.

  “Umm, Hails?” MacKenzie asked with a raised eyebrow.

  “What? They’re just condoms.” I said trying to act like it wasn’t a big deal.

  MacKenzie huffed, “I know what they are. Did you forget that I have three brothers and the jackasses can’t remember to take them out of their pockets so they are always in the washer?”

  I shrugged, “I was thinking about sleeping with Matt this weekend.” I didn’t really want to have this conversation with her. MacKenzie and I had talked about losing our v-cards a lot lately but we both said we wanted to wait until we were completely sure. Now I just wanted to lose mine and since Mason wasn’t going to help me with that I’d find someone who would.

  “Hailey!” MacKenzie exclaimed. “That’s a big deal. I’m your best friend and you weren’t even going to tell me?”

  “Kenzie, it’s not a big deal.” I said, downplaying it.

  MacKenzie rolled her eyes, “Whatever you say. Did you and Matt plan this?”

  I nodded. It was a lie but I wasn’t going to tell her that I hoped her brother would have been my first.

  The conversation was dropped after that. We went about the rest of the afternoon trying to make sure her car was packed so all we would have to do when prom was over was to come back and pick up her car.

  Prom had been a blast. We’d all had the time of our lives. Late that night when we all arrived at the shore house the party really got started. Most of our friends’ parents had houses down there so there was a good group of us all hanging out. Matt and I were getting pretty hot and heavy out on the back deck. Then Frankie showed up with beers; Matt began drinking and started to get really friendly with our friend Mike’s date. I didn’t think anything of it at first, but then before I realized it a half hour had passed and I hadn’t seen Matt anywhere. I went into the house and tried to find him, and that’s when I found a lot more than I wanted to. Matt was screwing some girl in the bathroom. I only knew it was him because I heard his name being called out.