It Goes On

by Ashley Claudy

  If you expect nothing from anybody, you're never disappointed

  Sylvia Plath

  Every night I’d gone to the club with this group there had been photographers, but tonight was different. As we walked into Eden, there were more photographers, many more, and this time, they were yelling my name as they aimed their cameras.

  Taylor stayed glued to me as we walked into the club, but Ethan and Liam skipped the entrance completely.

  Once we were inside, Ethan reappeared at my side. His hand flattened on the bare skin of my lower back, and he pressed close to me as we followed the others through the club.

  “Did I already tell you how great you look?” His deep voice vibrated through me as he dipped his head to my ear.

  I smiled up at him. “I’m not sure, but it never hurts to repeat a compliment.”

  “Well, you look fucking amazing. This dress…” he leaned back, eyes dropping over me, “is a good dress.” His hand glided up and then down my back as we walked through the club.

  The warmth I felt in the limo ignited with his caress, I wanted to be in his arms with his hands on me.

  We passed through the center of the club, the lush gardens and waterfalls, and entered a room decorated in white and gold. The music was loud, and the dance floor was full. Our section was in the far corner. It was a large alcove with several large tables and booths. The curtains were tied back but could be closed for privacy.

  Drinks were waiting for us at the table, and Taylor grabbed my arm to get me to sit next to her. I wasn’t sure if the intent was to keep Liam away from her or me away from Ethan. She’d been avoiding Liam all night, and it was definitely having an effect.

  Without sitting, Liam downed his drink and slammed it to the table. Then he walked away without a word. We all watched him disappear into the crowd.

  “I’ll be back,” Ethan said and followed Liam’s path.

  “Are you sure you’re not taking this too far?” Chelsea questioned Taylor.

  Taylor’s lip curled into a smirk. “It’s going perfect. He expects me to be all about him, but he’s got to fight for me. The sooner he learns that the better.” She picked up her glass and sipped.

  Chelsea raised her eyebrows. “You’ve been trying to teach him that lesson for years. He isn’t catching on.”

  Taylor frowned. “Well, if he doesn’t, then he doesn’t get me.” She shrugged one petite shoulder and then turned to me. “And what’s your MO? You trying to make Liam jealous too? Because, sweetie, you need to realize you don’t stand a chance of getting him back. Not while I’m available.”

  I leaned back in my chair, appraising her. Was she serious? “You can have him.” I raised my hands, palms up. “I want nothing to do with whatever game you have going.”

  “Then quit interfering. Every time I turn around, you’re after what I have. I’m not buying that innocent act you’re pushing; you know what you’re doing.”

  I swallowed my laughter. I hadn’t thought of the situation from her perspective. Maybe she had a point, but it wasn’t intentional on my part. I leaned forward to reply but stopped myself as Sydney approached the table with a small entourage.

  “Hey ladies, I should have known I’d run into you here. Mind if we sit with?” She was smiling, but I could have sworn it faltered when she looked my way.

  Taylor nodded and greetings were exchanged between everyone. I recognized Brody and Shane, but the girl and two other boys were new faces. They joined us around the low, circular table, and our server promptly returned to take everyone’s order.

  “Is Liam here? I thought I saw him?” Brody asked.

  “He’s with Ethan somewhere around here,” Taylor replied.

  Sydney leaned towards me like we were sharing a secret. “I’m surprised to see you here. Is Taylor finally being nice?”

  “She’s been tolerable,” I responded.

  “Oh, I love this song.” Sydney squealed as a new song started. She shimmied her shoulders and rocked into her friend, coaxing her to dance and sing along. Soon everyone was standing and dancing. Except Shane and me.

  A pang of guilt fluttered to the surface as I watched Sydney dance. I wanted Ethan, and she did too. But she wasn’t willing to attempt a relationship with him, so she couldn’t be angry with me for trying. That was crap though, and I knew it. If I wanted to be Sydney’s friend, then I would stay away from Ethan. But I couldn’t stay away from him.

  “Well, after the news today, I assume you’ll be a permanent fixture in this group. Might as well get to know you,” Shane said as he switched to a seat next to me and then lifted his cup in salute.

  I nodded and sipped my drink.

  “Feel like a new person with your new name?”

  “I wish.” I still felt like me, only worse.

  “Don’t wish. Be about it. Make a new you with your new name.”

  “If only it were that easy.”

  He scoffed. “It is that easy. These people don’t know you.” He gestured around the club, encompassing our party and beyond. “You can be whoever you want. Especially now with the cameras watching. This is your shot to get your new persona out there.”

  I rubbed my chin with a smile, not really entertaining the idea but having fun with it. “True. But what persona should I choose?”

  “Well, Kate doesn’t lend itself to bad ass, but sweet is dull. You seem pretty good at pulling off mysterious and aloof. Maybe you should just go with that.” He waved his drink towards me.

  “What about you? What’s your persona?” I deflected.

  “That’s easy. I’m fuckin’ awesome.” He shrugged. “Not many can pull that off. I’m blessed that awesome is my natural state of being.”

  “Awesome doesn’t dance?” I asked, nodding to those around us.

  “Sometimes, but tonight my mission is to drink. Dancing would interfere.” He emptied his cup, and a server materialized from the crowd to remove it. “Two more and four tequila shots, cinned.”

  “Mission to drink: in effect.” I nodded.

  He pointed at me. “I’ve decided you could be awesome too. You just need tequila to give you the edge.”

  Chelsea and Taylor started grinding on each other, and I stared, fascinated by the scene. Chelsea’s curvy frame leaned forward and grabbed her ankles as Taylor spanked her ass. I nodded at them and asked Shane, “Is that awesome?”

  “Not really my style, but they seem to dig it.” He pointed to the boys who surrounded them.

  The server returned and set two margaritas and the shots of tequila on the table. The rim of the tequila shot had a cinnamon and sugar coating with an orange slice on top. Shane picked up two shots and handed me one. “Bottoms up.”

  I ran the orange along the rim, scooping up the cinnamon and then licked the sweet slice. I tossed back the tequila and quickly popped the orange in my mouth to negate the burn.

  “Wow.” I shuddered, chewing on the fruit.

  “It’s good. One more.” He handed me another shot, and I repeated the process.

  There weren’t enough oranges to take away the fiery burn in my throat. I reached for one of the margarita glasses and raised my eyebrows in silent question, unable to make words come out. Shane laughed and nodded as I chugged the drink, forcing everything down. I set the half-empty glass onto the table and sat back relieved that everything settled. “Thank you.”

  “No, no, no. Thank yous are sweet. I thought we decided on mysterious.”

  I raised my eyebrows, trying to recall our conversation through the alcohol buzz settling on me.

  “You take that drink without asking, and no apologies or thank yous. Own that shit. And when you do speak, try a Russian accent. You and all that dark hair, it would be perfect.”

  I leaned back as I laughed, my body loose from the liquor. “You’ve got to be kidding me? That’s ridiculous. There’s no way I’m doing that.”

  “Yeah, I’m just messing with you.” He wiped away his smile and added, “About the Russian acce
nt. I’m serious about choosing who you want to be though. Have fun with it, but you only get this one shot to make your impression.”

  Above all the heads dancing, I spotted Liam and Ethan returning to our section of the club. I watched as they walked closer and Ethan scanned our area until he found me. Our eyes met, and he smiled as he walked towards me.

  Sydney intercepted him first; she pulled on the front of his jacket and laughed. They were too far to hear, but I could make out the words ‘dance’ as she continued to tug on him. He looked up to the ceiling in exaggerated consideration, and then he bounced his shoulders and moved side to side. His natural rhythm showed in his playful moves, nothing like the way Liam was dancing.

  With the large group blocking my view, I hadn’t noticed that Ethan and Liam had returned with several girls who were now grinding on Liam and dancing around Ethan as he continued to show off.

  “Huh?” I asked Shane. I’d missed what he had said.

  “I’m going out to smoke.” He gestured to the patio to our left and held out his box of cigarettes. “Do you smoke?”

  I shook my head no.

  “Come out and keep me company.”

  My heart stuttered at the idea of going with him alone, and my hand went to my shoulder, feeling the bruises underneath. But the patio was busy, and Shane hadn’t made me feel uncomfortable at all.

  “Let’s go.” I stood up with a smile and avoided looking to the dance floor as I followed him outside.

  Shane lit his cigarette and then looked to the sky as he inhaled. “Fucking stars are never out in LA. Not the literal ones anyways.”

  “Well, whaddya know, Shane Corbin,” a little guy with an extremely loud voice and even louder green pants said as he approached us.

  He spun on his heel to face me. “Oooh and is this the now infamous Kate?”

  Shane took a deep drag of his cigarette and blew the smoke out forcefully. “Kate this is Henry.”

  I waved.

  Henry pursed his lips as he eyed me up and down, and then he clicked his tongue. “Kate, I was expecting more. You're rather normal, aren’t you?”

  “Uh, thanks. Maybe. Or not?” I looked to Shane and half laughed, confused.

  Shane shrugged. “Your queen is inside dancing, go bother her.”

  “I was wondering where you went,” Ethan’s low voice interrupted as he placed a hand on my lower back and stepped next to me.

  I turned to him. “I’m here meeting Henry.”

  “I’m sure I’ll see you again soon.” Henry smirked and then walked inside, disappearing into the crowd almost immediately since he was so small.

  “God, I hate that little bitch,” Shane said with a cigarette between his lips.

  I laughed and leaned into Ethan’s touch. “Who is he? And why does he have an issue with me?”

  Ethan’s slid his hand to my side and gripped my hip, pulling me even closer.

  “He’s one of Taylor’s minions. He doesn’t like any female who’s not her, especially a mysterious one like you.” Shane’s lip curled. “Remember doll, you’re not supposed to care about others opinions. That’s part of your mystery.”

  “What?” Ethan asked looking from Shane to me.

  “There’s too many rules to being someone new.” I huffed. “I’m bound to fail. I think I’m stuck with me.”

  “I’m all right with that,” Ethan murmured as his hands trailed up and down my side.

  Shane’s eyes danced over us. “Looks like you’re making an impression just the way you are.” He winked and then smashed his cigarette into a tall planter filled with sand. “I’ve got to get back to drinking. I’ll see you inside.” He walked past us, back into the club.

  “Don’t go back in yet. I’ve been trying to spend time with you all night and keep getting interrupted.” Ethan leaned back on the table behind him and pulled me to stand between his legs, his hands firmly gripping my hips.

  “Really? Is that what you were trying to do?” I immediately regretted the question and my jealous tone. “Sorry. It’s okay.” I stepped back, trying to hide my embarrassment.

  “No, don’t do that.” Ethan maintained his grip on my hips, holding me in place. “I had to go with Liam. He’s had some issues, and I didn’t want him going off alone. I wanted to spend time with you though.”

  “Well, we’re here now.” I waved away the night’s events and settled my hands on his stomach as I stared up at him, willing him to kiss me.

  His hands ran up and down my waist. Firm, and soft, and electric. “And this Sunday is our concert date. I can’t wait to have a night out with you, just the two of us.”

  I nodded slowly, still willing him to kiss me. I could feel the small space that separated us, and I wanted to close it, as much as I wanted to take my next breath. No matter who was looking. I leaned in closer, easing the tightness in my chest.

  He moved his fingers to the thin fabric covering my arms, trailing them from my shoulder to elbow. His eyes darkened, the desire that had been in them seconds before was gone, and his voice was cold and distant. “This is a good dress, but I hate that you have to wear sleeves.”

  I broke out of his grasp and stepped away, angered. “Why did you have to bring that up?”

  “Wait,” he called after me.

  I ignored him and walked back into the club to find Shane. He was at our booth with a tray of shots in front of him. He handed me one as I sat down and signaled to the server for another margarita.

  “Maybe I underestimated you.” Shane smiled at me as I chewed on the orange following my shot. “With that look on your face and slamming shots, you might be able to pull off bad ass.”

  “Enough on me, okay?” I snapped.

  He raised his hands and laughed. “Anything you say. Let’s talk about them.” He gestured to the dance floor and the show that Liam and Taylor were putting on. “They both are extremely obvious, and they’re the only ones that don’t realize it. So, who’s your money on? Who’s winning this dance off?”

  Ethan slid into the seat next to me and then took one of the shots on the table. He downed it smoothly, ignoring the cinnamon sugar rim and the orange that accompanied it.

  Attempting not to be completely distracted by Ethan, I focused on the dance floor. Taylor was dancing with some guy, and a couple of feet away, Liam danced with two girls. If you could even call what either of them were doing dancing, some might call it foreplay or even soft core porn. I tore my eyes away from the freak show as one of Liam’s girls wrapped her legs around him and arched in a back bend while he ran his hands over her chest.

  “Depends on what you consider winning, but it seems like Liam’s girls have less shame.” I shrugged.

  “Ah, I see your point. But Taylor has the moves and more importantly the style and boobs to turn heads.” Shane bobbed his head as he watched them. “It’s anyone’s game so far. I think the winner will be the one with the most stamina.”

  Ethan leaned forward and whispered in my ear, “I’m sorry.”

  The tightness in my chest eased with his closeness, and I smiled. “It’s okay.”

  His lips curled in response, and he slipped his hand over the back of my chair. His gaze drifted to the corner of the room, distracted by another group joining our group. I couldn’t make out anyone in the crowd, but Ethan’s eyebrows rose, and he got up. “I’ll be right back.”

  Shane held up another shot for me. “You’re supposed to do shots in twos”

  I grabbed the glass and twisted it in my hand, considering. “This little thing might put me over the limit.”

  “Only one way to find out.” He held up his glass, encouraging me.

  I licked the edge to collect the cinnamon sugary sweetness in preparation for the fiery liquid and then threw back the shot. My face pinched as I sucked the orange.

  My limbs were heavy and my stomach churned like it might revolt against my alcohol consumption. I tried to quiet it with the much more pleasant tasting Margarita.

  �
�You want to go outside and smoke another of your things?” I questioned Shane with a wiggle of my finger.

  He laughed knowingly at me and helped me to my feet. “You need some fresh air doll? Let’s go.”

  Once outside, I found the nearest chair and sat down.

  “I just need a moment,” I said and pushed my margarita glass further away on the table.

  Shane sat across from me and smoke escaped from his mouth as he laughed. “Give yourself time. You’ll feel better soon.”

  “Drink this.” Ethan placed a cold bottle in my hand.

  I focused on it and then turned the cap to the water bottle. Water was exactly what I wanted. “Thank you,” I said relieved and then pointed to Shane when I saw his eyes narrow at me. “I’m not following your rules, so drop it.” I took a cool sip of water. “I’ve tried making myself into other people every time I moved. It never ended well.”

  “Well then, you’ll be the rarely seen honest Hollywood socialite. Bold move.” He jabbed his fingers holding his cigarette at me. “You might be able to pull it off.”

  Ethan sat in the chair next to me. “Yeah, she can.”

  My head jerked to the other side of me as Chase sat down. “Hey Kate, how’s it going? Is Lexi here tonight?”

  Ethan shook his head and laughed. “Didn’t I just tell you no?”

  Chase ignored Ethan and asked me, “Is she going to come?”

  I shook my head, weary of his intentions. Lexi had to serve tonight and had a photo shoot in the morning. She was probably at home sleeping, if she wasn’t up analyzing their failed relationship as she had done the last couple of days.

  “Why don’t you call her?” Ethan asked Chase.

  “Lexi is that smoking hot cousin of yours, right?” Shane asked.

  If Chase’s eyes had laser powers, Shane would have been cut in several pieces by his glare.

  Shane chuckled and raised his hands. “Just trying to follow the conversation.”

  “She said she didn’t want to talk to me ever again.” Chase scooted his chair in closer and leaned towards me. “Do you think she would talk to me if I called?”

  I drank another sip of water while I considered. “There’s only one way to find out.”