It Goes On

by Ashley Claudy

  “That’s not how I remem—”

  His lips covered mine, effectively cutting off my words and scattering all thoughts. His hand cupped the back of my head, positioning me how he wanted. I grabbed his shirt and clung to it. He was in complete control of the kiss. All I could do was move my lips to best accommodate his. Just when I gathered my scattered wits enough to move my arms and caress his body, he slowed the kiss and released me.

  I leaned back on the seat, my chest rising and falling with my deep breaths.

  Ethan backed the car out of the parking spot. “Now there’s no confusion about who started that kiss.”

  I shook with laughter and looked over at him. His profile illuminated briefly as we passed under a streetlight, and my stomach clenched as I studied his features. The angle of his jaw and brow gave him a rugged look that was offset by the dimple his broad smile created and his long thick eyelashes.

  He was sexy, but the emotions he stirred in me were about more than looks. It wasn’t simple lust I was feeling, and that scared me. They felt uncontrollable, and it terrified me that I may not be able to contain them if I needed to walk away from this, from him.

  He looked over at me and caught me watching him. His smile widened, and he reached for my hand, lacing our fingers together.

  “I like that you’re not smooth with me. It seems more genuine, and I don’t want to play games.” I attempted opening up and hoped it wasn’t too much, too soon. So far, the night had been perfect.

  “Good.” He smiled at me again and then lifted my hand up to kiss the back of it. “I haven’t felt this way in a long time. There’s something about you… I like you. I don’t want to play games either.”

  I smiled and turned back to the road. I repeated his words to myself. He hadn’t felt this way in a long time. My happiness deflated a little because I had never felt this way before. But I couldn’t begrudge him his past relationships. I looked at our joined hands and decided to focus on the good news, he liked me.

  “Don’t go yet. Come up to my room.” Ethan pulled me into his arms as the elevator opened to my floor.

  I wrapped my arms around his waist. “Uh, I don’t know.”

  He covered my lips with his and removed my doubts as the elevator doors slid closed behind me and the car began ascending.

  All too soon, the doors re-opened to Ethan’s floor. He ended the kiss and grabbed my hand, quickly pulling me to his door, through his empty living room, to his bedroom.

  The moment the door closed, he was on me. He barely kissed me before lifting my damp shirt over my head and then taking off his own.

  We stood in the middle of his room and stared at each other’s shirtless body. We’d seen each other in bathing suits; this shouldn’t have been new for either of us. But our eyes drank in the sight as if seeing for the first time.

  His stomach muscles tightened and his chest expanded with his breaths. Cargo shorts hung loosely on his narrow hips and the edge of black boxer briefs showed at the top.

  My hand clenched with the urge to trace the deep lines of his muscles that traveled down his torso. Wildly, my heart beat in my chest, and I fought for air but could only manage shallow breaths as I waited for him to move and break the trance.

  His hand slowly caressed my neck and then trailed down my chest to stomach before wrapping around my waist and pulling my body against his. He kissed me and slid his hands up my sides and then cupped my breasts.

  I ran my hands over his chest, the tattoo on his shoulder and back, absorbing the feel of him. It wasn’t enough; I wanted more. I slid my hands down the back of his shorts and glided them over the solid curve of his backside.

  A low groan vibrated from his chest as I squeezed him to me. He lifted me up by my hips and walked me back to his bed. Laying me down, he braced his weight on his forearms as he hovered over me. He trailed kisses down my neck to the swell of my breast, then used one hand to unfasten my bra.

  I slipped it off and tossed it to the ground.

  As he rolled my nipple with his tongue and softly sucked each of them to hardness, my hips rose to meet his. Another low rumble vibrated from him, and he glided his fingers over my stomach and under the edge of my shorts. I pulled back as he unfastened the top button of my shorts, and he froze.

  He rolled off me and pulled my hip so I was on my side, facing him. “I’ll slow down.” He rested his hand on the top of my hip. “I don’t want you to regret tonight.”

  My body still pulsed with desire and wanting. I struggled to make sense of my thoughts and his words. I wanted to feel him next to me. Scooting closer to him, I pressed my cheek to his chest. “I won’t regret this; I want it too.”

  He moved his hand to my head and made me look at him, his eyes searching mine. “You pulled away. I want this to be your choice.”

  I shook my head confused by his resistance. “I know. I made this choice. I’m here.” I had pulled away, but only because of my own doubts and insecurities. It wasn’t because of him. I wanted him.

  He sat up, putting space between us. “I wasn’t thinking on the elevator. You wanted to go then too, but I stopped you. I shouldn’t have.”

  The ache in my chest reminded me I was topless. I covered myself with my arm as I climbed out of bed and picked my shirt and bra off the floor. “So this was a mistake. I’ll go.”

  “Wait. I have dry clothes you can wear.” He walked to his dresser and pulled out a dark t-shirt. “Here.”

  I slipped his shirt over my head. Not trusting myself to speak, I bundled up my wet clothes and walked out of the room.

  “Stop. I don’t want you to leave angry,” Ethan said from his doorway.

  Infuriated that he insisted on dragging out my embarrassment, I spun to meet his eyes. “But you want me to leave,” I challenged him to deny it.

  He paused and then took a step towards me. “Not like this. Tonight was fun. I don’t want it to end this way.”

  I raised my arms in confusion. How did he expect this to end? “Then why bring me up here? ‘Cause I can’t figure it out.”

  “I wanted you.” He took another step towards me. “I stopped thinking and let it go too far.”

  I hated him.

  He wanted me? I wanted to step into his arms and kiss him, forgive him the confusion and hurt he’d caused. And I hated him for making me that weak.

  I wasn’t one of those girls that lost all reason and gave into emotions. But he was threatening that part of me. I took a step back, protecting myself from his hypnotic green eyes that weakened my resolve. I needed to leave.

  “Don’t leave angry with me.” He took another step towards me and grabbed my limp hand. “I didn’t want to ruin this by rushing things.”

  What was I doing? My anger was only a cover to my embarrassment, and that wasn’t fair to him. I was being just like Liam that night at the beach when I had put the brakes on.

  “I’m sorry. I’m just confused, not angry.” I squeezed his hand in reassurance, but couldn’t meet his eyes. I stared at the tattoos marking his tan skin.

  He pulled me into a hug, wrapping his arms around me and pressing me against his bare chest.

  I couldn’t relax in his arms.

  He kissed the top of my head and then lightly brushed a wet lock of hair from my face. “Are you all right?”

  I attempted a smile. “Yeah. I’m gonna get going though. I’ll talk to you later.”

  He held me tighter. “Why don’t you stay and talk to me now?”

  I was exhausted. Emotionally and physically. And I needed a cold shower.

  “I have to go.” I pushed free of his embrace and left.

  ~Carly~

  He was angry. But it was directed at her.

  “Maybe if you dressed a little more conservatively in the office, he wouldn’t presume he could touch you. You send a certain message when you wear your clothes that tight,” Connor accused.

  Carly stood up from her chair with indignation. “You didn’t seem to have an issue wi
th my clothes when I worked in your office.”

  His chuckle was dark and painful as he stood and buttoned the jacket to his suit. “As I recall, I could touch you. So, the message was true. You’re telling me you don’t want Mr. Goldstien to touch you. So, change the message you’re sending.”

  Tears blurred Carly’s vision, but she didn’t dare blink and reveal them. This meeting had not gone the way she had planned.

  And now he was leaving.

  She followed him to the door of her condo and tried to think of something to say, to turn the situation around.

  “You're right, I need to adjust my work wardrobe.” She swept her eyes down in shame. “I have to remember I’m not dressing for you anymore.”

  She raised her eyes when she heard Connor sigh. He stroked her cheek with the back of his hand and she leaned into it, eager for his touch.

  “Things will change soon. But let me know if he continues his advances.”

  Carly couldn’t contain her smile as she closed the door to the condo.

  She was still in the game.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say.

  Ralph Waldo Emerson

  My steps faltered when I saw Ethan at the table.

  They’d already seen me, so I tried my best to maintain a smile as I followed behind the hostess, a path leading directly to him.

  Sonja greeted me first with a tight hug. “Finally, you’re here.”

  Sydney, Chelsea, and Shane kissed each of my cheeks and then he was in front of me.

  Ethan greeted me with his trademark hug and kiss to my forehead, but his smile barely turned up.

  I’d ignored his texts and calls the past three days. It wasn’t that I was mad at him, I was embarrassed by my actions. I was going to call him back, eventually; I just wasn’t ready to face him yet. I didn’t know how to act, but I needed to come up with a plan fast because the only open seat at the table was across from him.

  “Sorry, I’m late. The staff meeting ran over,” I explained to the table as I settled in my seat.

  Chelsea and Sonja sat at the ends of the table, Ethan and Sydney sat on one side, and Shane and on the other.

  “That’s one,” Shane murmured. “I’m going to keep track of your apologies. Quit that shit.”

  I elbowed him teasingly. “I do what I want.”

  “Works been keeping you busy this week?” Ethan asked.

  I met his gaze, and my heart leaped to my throat. Anger shadowed his eyes as they searched mine. Unable to speak, I nodded.

  “You got your energy back Sonja?” Sydney asked from across the table.

  “Mm-hmm.” She nodded as she took a long sip of her blended drink. “Jet lag nearly killed me. I’ve been sleeping for, like, forty-eight hours.”

  She’d been tired, and jet lag was partially to blame, but I knew she was also upset about Sebastian. She’d needed some downtime to mourn the relationship.

  Now she was ready to go out. I’d mistakenly assumed it was going to be a girl’s night.

  “Well, sleeping beauty, it’s time to wake up and celebrate.” Shane twisted in his chair, looking around the restaurant. “Where is our server? Kate needs a drink, and we all need some shots.”

  “Where to next?” I asked Sonja as we left the restaurant.

  She laced her arm through mine as we walked to the limo. “To The Beacon. Taylor, Liam, and Brody are meeting us there.”

  Avoiding Ethan through dinner had been easy since he hadn’t made any other attempts to speak to me. I wondered if he was avoiding me too. Absurdly, I hated that idea, but I was unsure how to salvage our friendship.

  Shots continued in the limo ride, and by the time we arrived at the club, I was sufficiently buzzed; by the noise level in the car, it seemed everyone else was too.

  We ignored the bright flashes from photographers as we made our way to the entrance of The Beacon. We skipped the line and were escorted to our table.

  Brody and Taylor were already sipping on drinks on the sofa. Everyone began the usual rounds of kisses in greeting, and I was surprised when Taylor included me in her hellos. She typically avoided acknowledging me.

  “I like this. Very cute on you,” Taylor complimented as she tugged at the hem of my top. My bruises were a sick yellowish color and fading daily but still there, so I wore a long sleeve flowy white blouse dressed up with sequined black shorts and heels.

  “Thank you.” Now, I was double surprised. A compliment. “You, of course, look amazing as usual.”

  She glanced down at her short, tight tan dress with a smile. “Thanks, I know.”

  We sat on a large S-shaped sofa and gave the server our drink orders.

  “Where’s Liam?” Sonja asked.

  “He’s around here somewhere.” Taylor shrugged one thin shoulder.

  “Don’t concern yourself with boys you know. You need to make some new friends tonight. Make up for all that time wasted on Sebastian,” Sydney advised.

  “Hey now, what’s wrong with guys she knows?” Brody asked, leaning back in his seat with a raised eyebrow.

  Sonja rolled her eyes. “Too soon. I’m just here to have fun.”

  The server returned with our drinks and Sydney stood to toast. “To single Sonja and having fun.”

  Her salute was met with cheers and we all drank in agreement.

  “What did I miss?” Liam asked as he joined our table.

  Taylor leaned into him and kissed his lips before responding, “Just celebrating Sonja’s new found freedom.”

  “That’s right.” He pointed at Sonja. “So it’s true then? I thought you two might get back together.”

  “Don’t even speak of it,” Sydney warned.

  Sonja shook her head with a small, sad smile.

  I nudged her shoulder with mine. “You ready to dance?”

  As planned, she perked up. “Yes, let’s go.”

  “Wait,” Chelsea interjected. “Shots first.”

  “That’s an awesome idea,” Shane said.

  Watching Ethan and Sydney dance made my stomach hurt. I tried to ignore the scene, but couldn’t pull my eyes away.

  He laughed as she shimmied up and down him.

  Ethan and I were always on opposite ends of the group. Somehow the magnetic pull had been reversed, and it was impossible to get near him.

  Shane danced in front of me, blocking my view of them. He grabbed my hand and spun me around, dancing behind me now. Sonja danced in front of me, and I laughed as she whipped her hair back and forth. From over Sonja’s head, I could see Ethan and Sydney again. He was smiling down at her, his dimples showing, as she rolled her hips to the music.

  I excused myself and left the dance floor to escape to the bathroom and Sonja followed.

  “What is wrong with you two?” she asked as she quickened her pace to catch up to me.

  Sonja grabbed my hand as we navigated our way through the maze of people to the hallway that separated the dance floor from the bathroom.

  “What’s wrong with who?” I played dumb.

  She rolled her eyes. “You and Ethan. You two have been avoiding each other all night.”

  “You noticed that?”

  “My God Kate, of course I did. What’s going on?”

  I shrugged as I pulled open the bathroom door. “I don’t know. We had fun at the concert, but things are just awkward now.”

  “Uh oh. Did you sleep with him?” She asked as she entered a bathroom stall.

  I looked around at the others in the restroom. Three girls were at the sink, but I didn’t know them.

  “No,” I said as I stepped into my own stall. I did not want to share what happened between us.

  Sonja picked up the conversation as she washed her hands. “Then what’s the problem? Are you fighting?” She leaned towards me with concern and lowered her voice. “Did he try something?”

  “What? No. It’s nothing like that. I just hadn’t talked to him this week, so I wa
sn’t sure how to act.”

  She narrowed her eyes and looked up at me. “You had fun, but now you’re not talking to him? Do you want to talk to him?”

  I nodded, at a loss for how things had gotten so messed up.

  She shoved me lightly. “Then talk to him. Go out there and just start dancing with him.”

  I sighed, uncertain of her plan as we walked out of the restroom.

  “Never mind. Just talk to him now,” Sonja said as she walked ahead of me, leaving me behind. She waved at Ethan as she passed him by.

  He was leaning against the wall, staring at me.

  Unsure, I hesitated as I approached him.

  “Were you going to ignore me all night?” He asked with no trace of his usual smile. His strong jaw was more pronounced by his serious face.

  I shrugged. “You were ignoring me too.”

  He shook his head and locked his green eyes with mine. “Did I ruin this?”

  I broke away from his gaze and stared at the floor, guilt weighing one me. “No. It’s just—I’m embarrassed about how I acted. I didn’t—”

  “Why are you embarrassed? I had a great night.” He reached his hand out and lifted my chin; our eyes met. “I shouldn’t have brought you to my room; I wasn’t thinking. But tell me we can fix this.”

  His words confused me. He wanted to fix “this,” but he regretted taking me to his room? Did he just want to be friends again? Could I do that?

  Standing this close to him, I felt the familiar pull between us, and I had to fight the urge to lean into his touch, to touch him. I couldn’t go back to being friends, but I didn’t want to end things either. My heart tore with indecision.

  His hands slid over my shoulders. “You do something to me.” He shook his head and began again, “I like you around. I lost control and took things too far the other night, but I can slow it down.”

  “You?” I shook my head, confused. “I’m the one that threw myself at you and then got angry when you said no. I’m so embarrassed. I wasn’t thinking straight. And then to make it worse I’ve been ignoring you. And you’re blaming yourself?”