“Like the postman?” Dora frowned.
“Yeah, angels are the celestial postmen.”
“So this is just the sorting office?” Dora asked, skeptical about Lucian’s answers. She was itching to Google the word ‘angel’.
The corners of his mouth curved up into a smile. “Now, you’re getting it. Do you see any dead souls here, living out their final days surrounded by warmth and happiness? Are these the Elysian Fields?” He gestured to the endless garden.
“Well, no, but I saw people when I first got here.” Dora nodded.
“And where are they now?”
Dora frowned. “I don’t know. What happened to them?”
He shrugged. “Redistribution, recycling, logistical relocation…”
“Reincarnation?” she asked.
“Sometimes. Other times they become mulch and go back into the Earth. That life goes into a tree that watches over earth like a sentinel for thousands of years, giving air to the other living things around it. We never die. We are remolded into new life over and over again in different forms. There is no end for anyone. There is no eternal torment, and there is no happy ever after. Live your life well because if you fuck up, you can’t lose it even if you want to. The only thing that can destroy us is ourselves.”
“But what about Hell? I’ve been there. I know it exists.” Dora shook her head.
“Was it Hell, really, or was it just another narrative?”
She thought about it. It wasn’t that bad for Hell, not really. “There is no such thing as Heaven or Hell!” She widened her eyes. “Where the fuck are we then?”
“It’s just another plain of existence, one where they believe in Heaven. But there are only angels here besides us.”
“Because they believe in it, it’s created by what they believe in.”
He nodded.
She narrowed her eyes at him. “So God is just the author of it.”
“What?” He widened his eyes in innocence. “No, I dunno…” He looked away.
“Someone had to create the idea of Heaven, and you said you were a writer.”
“Your idea of Heaven was created on Earth as a threat. Does this sound familiar: You won’t get into Heaven if you don’t do as I say?” Lucian shook his head. “The concept of Heaven was created to control people. The reality of it would be insane. Imagine your perfect Heaven. Then imagine it every day for eternity. Is it still perfect?”
Lucian frowned into the distance. “The only thing that can be constant is change. The same thing every day, no matter what it is, is dull monotony. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that you can’t create a perfect existence.”
“But you tried to, didn’t you?” Dora studied him, a shocking realization forming in her mind. He knew too much for it not to be true, but he refused to look her in the eye.
“Oh look, the Grotto.” He pointed to a massive castle in the distance. “We’re nearly home.” He rushed off, leaving her staring after him in shock.
No, he can’t be. He’s too much of an asshole.
She shook her head, trying to ignore the sinking feeling that she’d just discovered Lucian’s secret.
Twenty-Four
The Name of God
Dora caught up with Kieron as they entered the gates to the old castle, a broken old building that had clearly once been grand. The spires shone with golden tiles on the roof, and the walls were smooth like glass, but they were cracked and worn away by time.
She turned her eyes to Kieron, drinking in his golden hair and bright blue eyes. If her suspicions were correct, she was dating the son of… She shook her head.
I must be wrong. It makes no sense. None of this makes any sense.
She curled her fingers around Kieron’s hand, holding onto the only thing in her world that still did make sense.
He squeezed her hand and smiled at her. When he saw her expression, he frowned. “Are you okay, Dora-minx?”
“What do you think God is like?” she asked.
He thought about it for a moment. “He’s probably an over-powered dick, who doesn’t care about anyone.”
She glanced at Lucian.
From the mouths of babes…
She tried to think about their situation, about their mission as they walked toward the open door of the castle. The darkness inside it seemed haunted by ghosts of the past.
What am I worrying about? My father was right. God’s been watching over me all along.
She felt a wry smile grow on her face. Her father would renounce his faith if he believed that Lucian was God. Her father had his own narrative, and even though he’d opened up to the more peaceful side of faith—forgiveness and love—he’d still flip his shit if this reality shattered his delusions.
Maybe delusions are what keep us from going insane?
She frowned as they stepped through the doorway into a dark and broken palace.
Look what happened to John Lennon when he asked people to imagine there was no Heaven. They shot him for it. People like to be delusional. That’s why lies are always easier to believe.
Dora felt a shock of revelation as she stared around the broken foyer.
Is my faith untrue? Is magic a lie too?
She tried to shake herself out of it, but there were too many questions. Now that her delusions had been shattered, she was questioning everything, and it was driving her a bit insane. Life had never been easy, but it had been clear. She’d always known who she was and what she wanted. Now, in the face of an altered reality, she wasn’t even certain that Kieron’s warm hand gripping hers was real, and she needed that to be real.
“This is a grotto?” Pooey stepped into the room behind them, and his voice echoed around the large atrium. “It’s a bit opulent isn’t it?”
“It’s the house of God, you idiot,” Elyssa muttered beside him.
“It’s not a fucking grotto. It’s a dilapidated Disney palace.” Pooey ground out the words.
“We won’t be safe here for long. So let’s get what we came for and get the hell out of this place.”
Dora jumped at the sound of Lucian’s voice. She glanced at him. He was still playing the role of the fallen angel, but she knew better now. She wondered why he was hiding at all. If he was God, surely he could control the armies of Heaven. Was this all just a game to him?
She frowned.
Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe Elyssa’s venom drove me nuts too.
It was a possibility. It made more sense than Lucian being God. Deciding to find out one way or the other, she galvanized herself into action.
“Let’s stop wasting time and find God then shall we?” She released Kieron’s hand and stepped toward the open doorway ahead. “Search the place. There has to be an answer here somewhere.”
Dora stared around the empty bedroom, averting her eyes from the dusty harp near the window. The room was familiar, and not in a good way. It was scarily similar to Lucian’s room in his other palace. She’d been trying to pretend that it was all a mistake, but the more she delved through God’s belongings, the more they seemed like Lucian’s.
She shook her head and pulled open the closet. It was filled with shirts, old ones that were pocked with holes by moths now.
“This is just weird.”
Kieron’s voice behind her made her jump.
“Which part?” she asked.
“Everything about this place is weird. I can’t…” He paused for a moment, shaking his head. “Maybe it’s just an angel thing.”
Dora turned to face him, curious about what he meant. If Kieron noticed the same thing she had, then it would be proof that she hadn’t gone insane. “What’s an angel thing?”
“Well, this place, I can’t help but feel that…” He paused again.
“Yes?”
“It’s really crazy.”
“That’s okay. What is it?”
“It’s Lucian’s. I know it’s crazy, but even these shirts look like his.” Kieron plucked the arm of one of the
shirts, shaking his head. “Maybe I’m going crazy.” He sighed.
“You’re not the only one.”
“I think Lucian might be—” Kieron began.
“God.” Dora finished for him.
“What?” He widened his eyes. “I was going to say lying to us.”
“Oh, right. Yeah, that’s possible too, I guess.” She winced.
“What do you mean? Do you think he’s God?”
She frowned. “He said that the world was just a lot of stories, angels were just messengers and that he was a writer. If the world is just created from stories, and he’s the writer, then…” She trailed off, realizing that she sounded crazy. It made more sense when he’d said it.
“No, he can’t be. I-I…That would make me…” Kieron widened his eyes in horror. “Oh, fuck that!”
“I might be wrong.” She shrugged.
“But this is his house.” Kieron scowled at the shirts. “This is his fucking house. I can feel it. Come on.” He gripped her hand and pulled her toward the door.
“Where are we going?”
“We’re going to find out once and for all.”
“How?”
“We’re going to ask him.”
“Ask who, what?” Pooey asked as they entered the hallway.
“We’re going to interrogate Lucian,” Kieron said.
Dora noticed the muscles in his jaw clench as if he was holding in the rest of the sentence.
“Oh, count me in. Maybe Elyssa can make him eat leaves again.” Pooey grinned.
“Now, you want my help.” Elyssa folded her arms and narrowed her eyes.
How did she even touch Lucian if he is God?
Dora eyed Elyssa with suspicion. There were a lot of questions that she needed answering. She nodded. “Let’s go find him.”
They found Lucian in the kitchen. He was about to take a bite out of a giant cheeseburger. He paused with his mouth open over the elaborate creation. Then he closed his mouth and sighed as he put the burger down. “What now?”
“Interrogation time, bitch.” Pooey took a seat beside him at the counter, and he eyed the burger. “Is that pickle relish?”
“Yeah, are we good now? Is the interrogation over?” Lucian reclined in his chair and stared at Dora and Kieron.
Kieron stepped forward. “Are you…” He paused, shooting a glance at Dora.
She nodded. They had to ask, no matter how stupid it sounded. “Are you God?” she asked.
“What?” Pooey cried before he started laughing. He turned to Lucian, wiping tears from his eyes. “Yeah, Fallen Fail, are you the almighty, or has everyone been drinking the elixir of insanity?”
Lucian remained silent for a moment. Then he picked up his cheeseburger and took a bite before slowly chewing it and swallowing. The room fell deadly silent as they all stared at each other.
“Seriously?” Pooey widened his eyes before he jumped off the seat beside Lucian and took a step back.
Lucian sighed. “Yeah, so what?” He shrugged before taking another bite from his burger.
“But you left Heaven. You can’t be Him!” Elyssa stepped away from Lucian as far as her chains would allow.
Lucian frowned at her.
She looked around panicked and then seemed to gather her wits before shouting: “You abandoned us!”
“I didn’t abandon you. You weren’t even supposed to be here.” Lucian narrowed his eyes at her. “You’re no angel, no matter how much cute little girl you slap onto your face.”
Elyssa widened her eyes in horror. “You know what I am?”
“Do you?” he asked.
She frowned. “I-I don’t understand. I did penance. I—”
He widened his eyes. “Oh that’s what it is. I don’t know why I didn’t notice before.” He stood up, walking toward her.
“No, stay back.” She held up her hands as if to ward him off.
He clenched his jaw and reached out to touch her face. Then he scowled. “You’re not a demon or an angel.”
Pooey frowned at Elyssa. “What is she then?”
Elyssa dodged out of Lucian’s grasp and rushed to the windows, clearly planning to jump out of one.
Lucian waved his hand, and the windows and doors in the room all disappeared.
“What is she?” Dora asked, frowning as she stared at the wall where the window had just been.
Elyssa turned around and glared at Lucian. “You think you’re so powerful, as if you’re the only one who can have any fun.” Her eyes glowed red as she turned to face him, and her cherubic face pinched into a pure evil scowl.
Kieron backed away from her. “What the fuck is she?”
“She’s a fucking writer!” Lucian stepped toward her.
“What, like you are?” Dora asked.
Pooey tilted his head to the side. “Does that make her into God too?”
“No, it fucking doesn’t!” Lucian flashed him a look of anger. “It makes her the creature that brought the brainwashing here.” He turned to her. “It was you, wasn’t it? You’re the corporation.”
She shook her head at him. “I’m just a tiny cog in a greater design. You think you’re the only one who can create, but you’re not!” She spat at him.
“You only destroyed things!” He shouted at her.
She laughed bitterly. “It didn’t work anyway. I didn’t get my happy ending, but it was worth it just to mess with you.”
Lucian rubbed his eyes, expelling a frustrated sigh. “Fucking idiots, I’m surrounded by fucking idiots,” he muttered.
“Hey!” Kieron and Dora shouted in unison.
Pooey just stared at Elyssa.
“Not you this time.” Lucian waved them away before turning back to Elyssa. “A happy ending, is that why you did it?” His dark eyes shone with a light of sarcasm.
“Why not? I deserve one!” Elyssa cried.
“Oh yeah, I can see that. Brainwashed angels, cannibals, fracking, the Republicans, even Hell can’t contain that much evil!”
“I didn’t create the Republicans,” Elyssa widened her eyes in innocence. “They were someone else’s evil creation!”
“So you were the one who stopped the angels from using their wings, who brainwashed or threatened them into following your orders, and for what?” Lucian shook his head at her.
“My happy fucking ending,” she cried. “But I didn’t get it, did I? So it was all for nothing.”
“Can you give Lettuce his mind back?” Pooey asked, frowning at his ex.
She shrugged. “It wasn’t much of a brain to begin with, but yeah.”
Lucian held up his hand to silence Pooey before turning back to Elyssa. “Do you know why you didn’t get your happy ending?”
“Yes! They took it. They took over. Fluffers and his fucking Angel Guard took it before they locked me up in here as some kind of fucking deity. They took my happy ending!”
“Wrong,” Lucian said in a quiet voice. “There is no such fucking thing as a happy ending!” he shouted. “You fucking idiot! You get one existence, one!” He held up his finger to illustrate his point. “What you do with that existence will dictate your future. No one took shit from you. You had everything you needed to build what you wanted. All you had to do was make the right choices, and that little feeling in your gut is your guide. You know when you do something wrong. Seriously, I gave you all an internal warning system, your conscience! Is it that difficult to follow it?” He shook his head. “If you want a happy ending, to have everything in this world and the next, then you have to fucking earn it!”
“Bullshit, everyone has more than me, even that pathetic fucking demon.” She pointed to Pooey.
He pointed to Pooey. “Even the wicked fucking demons know the difference between right and wrong, but not you.”
Pooey beamed. “He thinks I’m badass, and fuck you, Elyssa.”
Lucian laughed. “Do you think that everyone is blessed but you? Do you think that no one else suffers? Are you really so small-minded
that you think some people are handed everything on a plate?”
“Well, yeah.”
“Just because they don’t bitch and complain about it, it doesn’t mean they haven’t been through hell. Anyone who is sitting on top of the world had to move mountains to get there. Anyone who still isn’t happy when they get there, hurt someone to get what they wanted. The happiest beings in existence don’t take anything from anyone. They give to the universe instead!”
“Oh that self-sacrifice bullshit, yeah that worked out well for all your martyrs. What about royalty? They just inherit their stuff. Do you want to know what my happy ending will be?” She snarled at Lucian. “It’ll be watching all your angels become braindead, watching the corporation burn you all up, not because it’s all-powerful, but because you let it! Then I’ll be fucking happy.”
“Have you ever seen a happy member of royalty? No, me either. Wealth isn’t happiness. It’s just another punishment.”
“Oh yeah, being the most powerful is useless.” She shook her head. “You’re fucking insane.”
“True power comes from freedom, and wealth doesn’t give you that. Nothing can give you that because you’re born with it inside you. Freedom is something you are born with. It’s up to you if you let someone take it away from you. Fight for your freedom or live in a cage. The most powerful people in the world are the ones that are free of all the cages around them, including wealth!”
“True power comes from this palace.” Elyssa shot a sly smile at him.
“Where is it?” Lucian shot her a bored look.
“Where is what?” She widened her eyes in an innocent expression.
“You know what.” He held up his hand and summoned a purple ball of energy in it. “You didn’t do all this with your scrappy powers.”
“I’ll die before I tell you!” she screamed.
“That can be arranged. You can die, and then you’ll tell me,” he said in a quiet, deadly tone.
“Fine, then do it!” she snapped.
Lucian stepped closer to Elyssa, his knuckles whitening around the ball of energy.
Dora panicked. She didn’t want anyone to die. “No don’t!” She stepped forward and gripped his arm.
Divine Dora Page 13
