“What did you do to her, you fucker?” Kieron shouted.
At the same time, a worried Kieron said: “Is she going to be okay?”
Shortly afterwards, a sad Kieron said: “I can’t lose her now. She promised not to die on me!”
She stared at him, trying to work out if he had three voices or not. Then it dawned on her that she was reading his mind. Judging by the way he was gripping Lucian’s collar and shouting in his face, she guessed that the first comment had been words. Focusing on that, she tried to filter out his thoughts.
A part of her idly wondered if she should poke around in there, but she sensed that it would lead to more trouble than it was worth. Right now, she needed to get a grip.
She peered at Pooey, trying to focus on something less complicated, and widened her eyes. She could see the little brown werebear, but around him was the genetic frame of a huge beast that looked a bit like a wookie to her. Pooey’s internal magic was at least six feet tall.
Curious, she peered into Pooey’s mind. There was a locked door in there, which she had to go around. Once she got past it, his thoughts flooded out.
“I want some cheesy puffs.”
“I wonder if God can summon me a mountain of cheesy puffs.”
“Where’s Dora gone”
“Lucian’s a fucking dick! I hope God turns him into an amoeba.”
“Did God eat Dora?”
He studied her with curious eyes. “Why’s He looking at me like that? Does God eat demons?” Pooey narrowed his eyes at her.
Frowning, she glanced at Lucian. His eyes glittered as if he knew exactly what she was doing. She pushed against the barriers around his mind, and he pushed back.
Has he been reading our minds all this time?
“No, I fucking haven’t.” His reply echoed in her thoughts.
“Then how did you know what I was fucking thinking?” She narrowed her eyes at him.
“You put the question in my head.” He shrugged.
“Why did you do this to me, you asshole?” she silently asked.
“I’m tired of this shit, and you seem to want to fix the world. Now’s your chance.” He flashed a wicked grin.
“You’re a complete dick. You know that, right?” Breaking the connection, she stared at the armies of Heaven, who were waiting patiently for her to speak.
Okay, screw Lucian and his bullshit. I can do this.
“RELEASE THE ANGEL.” She pointed to Lillian. The sound of her voice shocked her. It was hollow and full of power, nothing like her usual voice.
Clearly, it shocked the Angel Guard too, who quickly unchained Lillian and set her free before bowing down to Dora again.
She turned to Kieron, who was staring at her with wide eyes. “THIS WILL BE INTERESTING.” She frowned. Her voice sounded wrong, but she couldn’t seem to make it go back to normal.
Kieron took a step back, concern furrowing his brow. “Give me back Dora.”
“I AM DORA.” She took a step toward him, and he backed away again.
Oh for fucksake, what is this?
“Why is God pretending to be Dora, and what the fuck did He do with her?” Pooey asked.
Dora glanced at Lucian, who gave her a shrug. It seemed that Pooey and Kieron saw something else when they saw her now. “NO REALLY, I AM DORA.”
Pooey narrowed his eyes. “No, I am Spartacus.” Then he widened his eyes. “You don’t fry beings for sarcasm do you?”
“Give me Dora back!” Kieron shouted at her, his eyes full of fire.
She smiled at his protective side. She’d never seen it from this angle before. He was fierce when he was fighting for her. “AWW, THAT’S SWEET.”
His eyes became slits as he summoned a ball of silver light in his hands. “You’re mocking me! I don’t care if you’re an all-powerful being. You’re going to give her back to me.”
Dora yelped—although it came out sounding like the roar of a god—as Kieron threw a silver fireball at her. She held up her hands to protect herself out of pure instinct. She waited for the inevitable hit of magic.
After a moment, she peered around her hands when nothing hit her. She widened her eyes. The room was frozen. No one was moving, and the silvery fireball was frozen in the air in front of her, leaving a frozen trail of mist in its wake.
“JESUS!” she muttered.
“Well, he’s not quite that, but he is my son.”
She looked across at Lucian when she heard him speak. “HOW COME YOU’RE NOT FROZEN TOO?” She walked around the room, peering at the frozen people in it, pausing at Kieron. He looked so upset. She knew she had to fix this. “WILL THEY BE OKAY?”
Lucian nodded. “You just froze time. They won’t notice the difference when it resets.”
“WHY CAN’T THEY SEE THAT I’M DORA?”
“To them, you look like their idea of god.”
“DO I LOOK LIKE A DUDE?” She widened her eyes, quickly glancing down. She was relieved to find that her body looked like hers.
“To most of them, you probably do. Most beings stupidly believe that God has a gender and that it’s male.”
“HOW DO I STOP BEING GOD?” She sighed. She didn’t want this.
“Really, you’re quitting already? I thought I was the uncaring slacker.” Lucian raised an eyebrow.
“YOU DID THIS TO TEACH ME A LESSON?” she asked incredulously.
He shrugged. “There were a few reasons, but that might have been one.”
“YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW?” She scowled at him.
He shrugged. “That’s up to you. You hold the power of the universe in your hands.” He nodded at the golden quill in her hand. “What do you want to do?”
“GIVE IT BACK,” she muttered.
“Are you certain?”
When she thought about it, she realized that this was the perfect opportunity to fix everything that was wrong with the world. She could save Heaven and Earth. Then she could go home.
“I CAN FIX SOME THINGS FIRST.”
He shook his head. “You can try.”
She frowned. He didn’t seem very optimistic, but she was certain she could do it. Now was the perfect time. With time frozen, she could fix things without worrying about everyone else and then start time again. “HOW DOES IT WORK?”
Lucian shook his head. “There isn’t a fucking instruction manual. You just write it and figure it all out yourself.” He pointed behind her.
She looked back, noticing the wall of shelves behind the desk. Each shelf was filled with books. She turned and walked over to it, running her fingers along the spines of the books. “WHICH ONE DO I CHOOSE?”
“It doesn’t matter. They all index the same place, the infinite universe.”
She glanced over her shoulder at him. “THEN WHY HAVE SO MANY BOOKS?”
Looking insulted, he scowled at her. “Because it fucking looks nice.”
She rolled her eyes and turned back to the bookshelf. She pulled the nearest book off the shelf and walked over to the desk with it.
When she flipped it open, the pages inside glowed with a golden light. She touched the page with her fingers. It was blank, but she could feel the story inside it. She pressed the tip of the quill to try to write something, and the world she knew fell away.
Twenty-Eight
God, The Universe and Everything
Dora closed her eyes as she was ripped out of the hall. She shot through the sky and out into the universe, coming to an abrupt halt in a dark sky, surrounded by stars as she floated in space.
Lucian, you fucking asshole, what have you done to me?
She turned around, searching for something familiar. There were planets in the distance, and if she focused on them, she could zoom in, heading toward them.
After a few attempts, she realized that she could control where she went with her thoughts.
At super-speed, she zoomed out to the edges of the universe. It wasn’t why she was here, but she wanted to see where the univers
e ended. The further out she zoomed, the more apparent it became that the universe was endless.
After a while, she peered back at where she’d begun, only to discover that her universe was tiny. Earth was just a speck on the shoe of a god. The universe contained so much more than anyone knew.
The knowledge made her feel small. As a human, she was something miniscule on a speck of a planet. No wonder the gods didn’t fix things for people. Individuals were so small that they probably didn’t see them. It was similar to a human offering protection to an amoeba or a blood cell. No wonder the last God hadn’t solved every little problem.
Well this one will do.
Setting her jaw, she zoomed back to Earth. She was going to save all the specks from themselves.
She scanned the different dimensions of her universe. Deciding to fix Heaven first, she zoomed in on Camp Angel, choosing to begin where her problems had started. She headed toward the camp at lightning speed, coming to a halt as she hovered over it staring down at the empty camp below.
All the angels must have flown to God’s grotto. She zoomed into the brainwashing facility, passing easily through the walls and locked doors. There were a few blank-eyed angels still bound to gurneys, but it was mostly empty. Those who did remain didn’t seem to be able to see her as she floated through the rooms.
With the quill still in her hand, she stopped in one of the rooms and began to write on the wall:
ALL THE ANGEL’S MINDS WERE RESTORED AS CAMP ANGEL BECAME A BEAUTIFUL GARDEN, WHERE THE ANGELS CAME TO HEAL.
She watched as plants grew in place of sterile walls, flowers blooming around her and lush trees shooting up through the ground. Walking across the green grass, she watched light appear in the eyes of the prisoners as they were released from their restraints, ending up laying on beds of roses.
She smiled. It was perfect.
“Oh, God.” One of them moaned as he lay on a giant lily pad on a clear lake that was beside the flowerbeds.
Frowning she walked over to the angel, treading across the water as if it was glass.
“Oh God, save me from these fucking mosquitos.” The angel slapped his arm.
Dora scowled at him as he basked under the bright sunshine in paradise, bitching about the fucking mosquitos.
“You’re welcome,” she muttered as she shook her head.
She turned on her heel and glanced at the wasteland. Containing a shiver, she headed out into the desert, coming to a halt behind one of the zombie scavengers. Now that she was a god, she could see more than just the monster. His cells were all messed up, and his mind was a place of pure torment, half there and half destroyed. He was humming with dark magic, which was trapped inside him. But underneath it all, when you stripped away the decay, he was still a sentient being. He was an angel.
She repaired his cells with a wave of her hand and stripped away the magic. Then she restored his mind.
He cried out as his mind came back, kicking a bloodied carcass away from him in disgust. His wings repaired and turned white, and his eyes shone with holy light.
He fell to his knees and cried, shaking his head.
Dora frowned. He was supposed to be happy, but the memories of what he had done and what had been done to him seemed to be haunting him.
Being careful not to destroy his fragile mind, she removed the memories that would harm him, ensuring that she maintained the ones that made him into the angel he had been before. She weaved through his mind, knotting together his memories in a coherent way, removing the bad ones and keeping the good.
When she was finally done, she smiled when he did. He was back to being the angel he’d been before Camp Angel had gotten hold of him.
She watched him flash his wings before he launched into the sky, this time scavenging for someone he could help.
She rubbed her brow, feeling a headache beginning to form somewhere near her eyebrows. It was tiring fixing all these things, but she knew she had a lot more to fix in this universe.
One down, one hundred to go…
Dora flopped down onto the grass. She knew that the grass wasn’t there, not really. But to the physical world, it was, and she felt as if she needed to sit down. Her head hurt. She rubbed her brow. She’d helped hundreds of angels, restoring them to their original forms, removing the restraints on their society.
She’d shut down the corporation. Displaying an impish grin, she recalled the moment when she’d made Fluffers into a flower arranger. He’d oddly seemed happy with his lot in life.
There’s nothing that can brighten up my day like seeing a warrior making daisy chains can.
Lettuce was apparently called Trevor, and once his mind had been restored, he turned out to be an incredibly intelligent and gentle soul. For a moment or two, she’d had the feeling that he sensed her there, working away on restoring his mind. Fortunately, he hadn’t trusted his own instincts, so she’d remained invisible to him.
After fixing Heaven, removing the burning of the innocent and all the darkness that had grown here, she was exhausted, and she still had Earth and Hell to fix yet.
Her body wasn’t tired. It was her mind. Her mind was exhausted. Fixing some angels, like Lettuce, had been a beautiful experience. But every time she fixed something, someone complained about the change. In fact her proudest moments had been darkened by someone bitching about them. Lucian was right about it being a thankless task. It turned out that it was far easier to point out the flaws in things than it was to create things without flaws. What’s more, it was irritating. When you’d worked your ass off to make something better, and some snide asshole—who was doing nothing other than complaining—decided to point out some tiny detail that you’d fucking missed.
It was like curing cancer only to have someone complain that it made them itchy.
Shaking off the disappointment and the exhaustion, she pushed herself up.
Get off your ass, and fix the world.
She passed though the invisible barriers of dimensions, stepping into the Earth she knew. Her arm hurt, and she glanced down at her hand, widening her eyes when she saw golden static sparking between her fingers in an erratic manner.
She shook her arm, trying to shake it off. Pain spiked up her arm, and she cried out as she fell to her knees.
Oh, what the fuck?
As soon as it had appeared, the pain disappeared.
She pushed herself up off the ground, determined to finish this and ignoring the strange tingling through her body.
Come on. Let’s get this done.
Narrowing her eyes, she scanned Earth for problems that she could fix, focusing on all of them at once. There were so many bad things happening to so many good people, so much suffering. She started sorting them into categories in her mind, only to find that most of the problems on Earth fell under the categories of greedy and stupid.
As the problems mounted up, her head ached with them all. From the destroyed planet to the capitalist societies, it was a melting pot of destruction and suffering.
No wonder no one else has fixed this mess. Nothing on Earth works properly.
She clenched her jaw, forcing her mind to begin fixing things. Her head began to throb, and her vision blurred.
I probably shouldn’t try to fix it all at once, but fuck it. This is going to take a lifetime if I don’t.
Ignoring the pain, she forged on.
White pain streaked through her mind, and she fell to her knees screaming. It was too much, too many lives running through her mind. Too late, she realized that there was too much to do, and she couldn’t do it all.
The world exploded in a golden light around her as she overloaded.
Twenty-Nine
Exodus
Dora moaned and rolled over, burying her face in the pillow and trying to ignore the throbbing in her head.
Jesus, what happened to me?
She snuggled into the pillow, smelling the familiar scent of her bed for a moment. Then the memories of being God came flooding
back, and she froze.
Inhaling sharply, she rolled over and sat up, now wide-awake.
What the fuck…?
Scanning the room, she widened her eyes. It wasn’t her room. It smelled like her pillow, but it wasn’t her little pink bed. The bed she lay upon was a stylish double with a black leather headboard and red and white sheets on it.
She cautiously peered over the edge of the bed, expecting to see a sick pink carpet, but finding polished cherry wood floorboards with a thick white rug on them covering the floor instead.
She ran her fingers over the glass bedside table. The room was beautiful, everything she’d dreamed of. There wasn’t a hint of pink or girly tat in it anywhere. It was sleek with a plump leather snuggle chair in the corner near a bookcase. An ornate stone fireplace was beside that on the far wall.
The plain walls were decorated with interesting red and black designs, and the only flowers were a glass vase of real lilies on the windowsill.
Okay, where the fuck am I?
Her pulse raced.
Who’s bed am I in?
Quickly scrambling off the bed that she’d been far too comfortable in, she peered down at her clothes, plucking her white camisole off her midriff and peering down at it. This was her nightwear. Gone were the leather pants she’d stolen in Heaven. Now, she wore her red Hello Kitty shorts and matching camisole.
Did someone steal me from my house in my pajamas?
She shook her head. She’d been dead. As far as she knew, she didn’t have a body for someone to steal.
She turned to face the bathroom. She couldn’t help but admire the stylish dark wood and white tiles as she dashed through the door into the room. It was a nice bathroom. She leaned over the sink and peered at herself in the mirror above the white porcelain sink.
Her hair was a mess of ebony curls, but she looked like herself. She looked human, and more importantly, alive.
Her dark eyes frowned back at her in the mirror. On impulse, she pinched herself.
“Oww,” she muttered.
What is this, some kind of Heaven trick?
The last thing she remembered was wanting to fix the world, and then everything had exploded in a golden light.
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