Divine Dora

by Claire Chilton

  No, no, no!

  He lunged down the road as the fiery rockets flared up when the bus pulled away from the curb.

  He jumped into the gutter to avoid the crowds milling on the pavement, running at full speed to reach the bus before it left him behind. He pumped his arms, using every ounce of energy he had.

  Not today, I can’t be late today!

  His heart pounded as he neared the black and red vehicle, the words on the bumper sticker becoming clearer.

  MOVE OR DIE, BITCHES!

  He was gaining on the vehicle, but he knew it wouldn’t be for long.

  Come on. You can make it.

  A few feet from the back of it, he leapt into the air, reaching out for the barbed black grill on the back.

  A loud squeal to his left caused him to turn his head at the last moment.

  Gore, blood and bits of bone splatted him with a force that sent him flying sideways and knocked him onto the pavement.

  Blinded by red goop, he wiped the mulch out of his eyes and stared in horror as the bus drove away without him.

  I’m a dead demon.

  He stared down at his sodden robes. They were drenched in blood and demon guts with bits of brown fur and flesh hanging off them.

  He plucked a clump of fur off his robe and swallowed as he stared at it.

  A familiar giggle echoed behind him.

  He narrowed his eyes and glanced over his shoulder at the impish green demon, which was rolling around on the floor laughing.

  “You again!”

  It giggled and nodded. There were tears of laughter in its red glowing eyes.

  “Seriously, every morning? You do this every fucking morning. Is this going to keep on happening?”

  It rolled over and smiled at him, then eagerly nodded.

  “There aren’t any other demon lords that that you prefer to fuck with?”

  Its grin widened as it shook its head.

  Kieron sighed and offered it the clump of brown fur. “You want your friend back?”

  It burst out laughing.

  He dropped the fur onto the pavement and pushed himself off the ground.

  Great, even hell spawn is better at evil than I am.

  He knew exactly what had happened. It happened every morning. Whether he was waiting for the bus or late like today, the green demon would push its brown furry friend off the sidewalk and into oncoming traffic for the express purpose of splatting him all over Kieron.

  “I don’t know why Trevor is still friends with you,” he muttered to the laughing demon as he plucked bits of Trevor off his robe and gently placed them in a pile on the pavement.

  The demon guts began to meld together as Trevor reformed into brown fluffy blob.

  The green demon howled with laughter.

  Disgusted by it all, Kieron turned and began walking down the street. Today wasn’t the day for worrying over some blood spatter. It was mock exams this week. If he missed his exams in pure evil, his teacher and parents were going to roast him alive.

  The Daemon Academia was too far away for him to make it in time. There was only one option.

  He closed his eyes and exhaled.

  I can’t believe I’m going to do this.

  He headed down the street towards the glowing red storefront ahead. Flames shot out onto the sidewalk in front of the store. Parked at the curb, were a line of motorcycles with hellish pictures emblazoned across them.

  He stopped beside the nearest bike with a sigh.

  There was a slog beast seated on the vehicle. Its piggish face was covered in dark fur, and its black beard trailed from its chin in a long plait.

  “Ready to ride, little …” He trailed off as he stared at Kieron.

  “I need to buy a ride,” Kieron muttered.

  “Eww, no, look at the state of you.” The slog beast shook its furry head.

  “Come on, man. I can pay.”

  The creature narrowed its big brown eyes. “You’ll actually pay for yourself to ride?”

  “Sure.” Kieron nodded. Most demons only paid to punish someone else on a hog ride, but he was desperate.

  The slog beast eyed him. “Alright, but if your head breaks off, I don’t give refunds.”

  Kieron gave a nod of understanding before he climbed onto the back of the motorbike. “Just get me to the Daemon Academia before nine. I don’t care if my head is attached as long as I get there.”

  The slog beast’s large fangs glistened as he broadly smiled. “I can do fast.”

  Kieron clung to the slog beast as they shot through a tunnel of fire at break-neck speed. His body jolted off the motorbike when the driver ploughed through a dimensional wall.

  He tightened his grip on the piggish driver’s waist, grasping at its worn leather jacket as his legs flew out behind him. Bursts of fire shot dangerously close to him, scorching his skin as the vehicle roared through the tunnel.

  “Do you have to go so faaaaahhhh,” he cried as the road of fire dropped out from beneath them, and they plummeted over the edge of a cliff into a deep black abyss before dropping down towards a field of thorns.

  “We need to go fast, or you can’t make the jump.” The driver shouted back over his shoulder. “Plus, it’s fun!”

  Kieron whimpered as the motorcycle hit the ground, jolting his body and slamming his hips back onto the passenger seat.

  Sharp thorns shredded his robes and skin as they ploughed through the bushes towards the Highway to Hell.

  Sweat beaded his brow and dribbled down into his eyes, but he didn’t dare let go of the driver to wipe it away. The salty water stung his eyes, making him blink at the dark shape ahead.

  Once his eyes had cleared, they widened in horror. “Truck! Truck!” He pointed to the oncoming monster truck that was zooming down the road ahead of them. They were heading straight towards a collision with the side of the truck.

  The driver shook his head. “We’ll make it.”

  “We’ll make what?” Kieron asked incredulously as he clung to the bike with his thighs while it roared towards the side of the highway.

  “The crossing.” The driver shrugged.

  “What crossing?” Kieron’s heart hammered as their high-speed crash into the large black truck seemed imminent.

  As the motorbike crossed the highway, he glanced sideways at bright headlights that were close enough to touch. The big rig roared its horn, and then it was gone as they slipped through another portal onto a quiet street in the magic district.

  The driver pulled up to the curb and turned to face Kieron. “Delivered safe and sound.” He smiled a toothy grin.

  Kieron froze, the reflection of oncoming headlights still blinding his eyes.

  Did we make it?

  He blinked several times before noticing where he was. Then he rolled off the back of the bike and fell to the ground. His stomach turned over, and he retched for a moment before forcing himself to stand.

  “What? No thank you?” the driver said.

  Kieron glanced down at the burning embers still glowing on his tattered robes. He brushed back his short blond hair, finding demon guts and soot caked into it. He turned to face the slog beast.

  “Thank you,” he muttered, dropping three dark-soul chips into the driver’s hand before turning and staggering up the steps of the academy.

  He heard the slog beast laugh as he staggered sideways like a crab when his legs refused to work properly.

  He glanced up at the large clock on the front of the majestic building.

  At least I made it here in time.

  He gripped the railing, pulling himself up the stone stairs towards his classroom.

  Just a few more steps.

  “Where the hell do you think you’re going looking like that?” A cold voice startled him.

  He glanced up to see the dark robes of a professor. His heart plummeted into his stomach as he realized it was Professor Kazaik.

  Great, the one person who would rather gut me than help me with this exam.
/>
  “Er, to my mock exams,” Kieron muttered.

  Kazaik scowled at him with a deadly glint in his dark eyes. “If you try to enter my classroom in that state, I will eviscerate you.”

  GO TO CHAPTER TWO

  Two

  Pure Evil

  Kieron was certain he was having a panic attack as he stared at the clock on the wall. His throat had closed up, and there was a cold sweat covering his body.

  How has it been forty minutes already?

  He could have sworn that he’d only just sat down at his desk. After Kazaik had made him use a cleansing spell to remove the soot and blood from himself and his robe, he’d felt drained, but he was sure he hadn’t passed out.

  Is there a time spell on this room?

  He rubbed his palms against his now clean robe to remove the cold sweat from them while glancing around the classroom. Several of the students were hunched over their papers, each scribbling down answers with frowns on their faces.

  He noticed Carlisle Smythe reclining back in his seat with a wide grin on his face. His exam was turned over, clearly finished.

  Kieron narrowed his eyes at the red-faced demon lord. Carlisle got all the luck. He aced every test, and his horns had grown in early. Although he wasn’t showing them today, he already looked like an adult demon when he went into demon form.

  His father swore that the boy had matured faster because of his knack for evil.

  Kieron shook his head. Carlisle was a mean asshole. There was a big difference between the beauty of pure magic and being snarky. The one thing that Kieron was good at was magic. There wasn’t a spell in existence that he didn’t know. He could do things with magic that no other demon could compete with. So what if he wasn’t trying to take over Hell and hurt others. Surely, the point of being a good demon was being able to control magic.

  Unfortunately, no one else in Hell seemed to appreciate how much he studied or what he had learned. They just saw the beauty in brutality.

  Carlisle must have noticed him watching because he pointed to Kieron, and then drew a line across his throat with a meaty fist, indicating that Kieron was a dead man.

  Kieron narrowed his eyes at the over-sized demon lord.

  Carlisle smiled, and his fangs popped over his top lip as his eyes glowed red.

  Kieron rolled his eyes and glanced down at the paper

  Horn size isn’t everything, dickwad.

  He picked up his pencil.

  I’ll show them all.

  He gritted his teeth. He’d studied hard, and he knew the spells. This should be easy. He stared at the paper.

  NAME:

  Okay, I know that.

  He began to write his name on the dotted line, but the pencil broke on the ‘L’ in Lascher. He scanned his desk for a pencil sharpener, widening his eyes when he couldn’t see one.

  He heard Carlisle chuckle. He glanced back and saw the demon twirling his pencil sharpener in his hand.

  Come on! Are you kidding me?

  He glanced up at the clock. Ten minutes had passed by, and he hadn’t even got his name right yet.

  No, no, no!

  He narrowed his eyes. There was definitely something hinky about that clock.

  He peered up towards the front of the classroom. Professor Kazaik was standing behind his desk, scanning the room with hawk-like eyes. His black hair snaked down his back in swirling tendrils, and there was an evil gleam in his dark eyes.

  Kieron considered asking the professor for a pencil sharpener, but shook his head at the thought. Kazaik had set a student on fire for asking to go to the bathroom in one of his classes before. Asking him for a pencil sharpener would only lead to a slow and painful death.

  Kieron didn’t have time resurrect himself before the exams were over. Plus, a slow and painful death sucked ass.

  Time to demon-up, son. His father’s voice echoed in his mind. And stop being so fucking wet.

  He scowled at his desk. His father would say that. He thought being nice was a flaw. He was appalled that he’d fathered demon spawn that excelled in reading magic books.

  Kieron inhaled and glanced down at the broken pencil. Magic was the only answer though. “Whittle,” he whispered under his breath, and the pencil spun in his hand as it sharpened itself on fresh air.

  He smiled.

  I can do this.

  He frowned when the pencil continued to sharpen as the whittle spell ate it up in his hand, turning it into a nub.

  “Shit, stop er, Haltus,” he hissed.

  The pencil stopped turning, leaving him an inch of pencil to work with.

  He glanced up and noticed that Kazaik had narrowed his eyes, and they were focused on him. The use of magic was banned during exams. The professor’s eyes began to glow red.

  “Concealous,” Kieron muttered, covering the essence of his magic with a veil.

  The professor scowled for a few more seconds before turning to scan the room again.

  Kieron exhaled, then he clenched the tiny pencil remains between his thumb and forefinger, scowling at it. Ignoring the clock and the fear that was bubbling up in his stomach, he quickly scrawled the rest of his name on the front of the exam paper and flipped it open.

  Okay, question one.

  He scanned the page. At the top, the title read:

  PURE EVIL - LEVEL ONE MOCK EXAMINATION

  He exhaled slowly in an attempt to combat his rattled nerves before reading the first question on the sheet.

  WHEN FACED WITH A DYING ADVERSARY, DO YOU:

  A) FINISH HIM OFF WITH A DEATH CURSE.

  B) MAKE HIM SUFFER IN A GRUESOME MANNER BEFORE FINALLY KILLING HIM.

  C) HEAL HIS WOUNDS WITH A REVIVAL SPELL.

  D)TAKE HIM OUT, AND THEN DESTROY HIS ENTIRE FAMILY AND ANY FUTURE GENERATIONS, CURSING THEM ALL WITH ETERNAL TORMENT.

  Kieron pondered the question. Surely, it depended on the situation. If the adversary was going to come after him if he survived, then you’d have to finish him off to defend yourself, wouldn’t you? But then, that might be acting too rashly. Better to heal him, and then see what happened. Maybe after you saved him, you’d become friends instead.

  Shaking his head at how easy it was, he quickly circled ‘C’ and moved on to the next question. If they were all this easy, he’d ace this test in no time.

  He glanced up at the clock, only five minutes remained until the exam would be over. Gritting his teeth, he focused on the exam and quickly rushed through all the questions with a smile on his face.

  I can do this. The answers are obvious.

  Kieron smiled at Kazaik as he handed his paper to him across the dark altar that the professor used for a desk. He was almost certain he’d aced the test, regardless of the obstacles in his way.

  Kaziak’s dark eyes settled on him in the form of a scowl. His long dark hair hung around his pale face in sharp strands. He snatched the paper out of Kieron’s hand before glancing at the answers.

  A cold shiver shot up Kieron’s spine when a smile appeared on the professor’s face.

  That can’t be a good thing.

  The professor hated Kieron. He’d like nothing more than to see him fail.

  “Er, everything okay?” Kieron asked.

  “You’ll get ten points for getting your name right.” Kazaik closed his paper and glanced up at him with red glow in his eyes and a bright smile on his face.

  He’s just messing with me. Kieron told himself, but uncertainty crept into his mind. Maybe saving an adversary hadn’t been the right answer, but surely, that’s what any good demon would do?

  He tried to ignore it, but worry knotted in his stomach. This was his last chance. If he failed another test, he wasn’t going to escape punishment this time.

  There were fifty questions. I can’t have got them all wrong. I’ll be fine.

  He smiled at the professor and turned to leave the classroom.

  “See you on Monday, sir.” He called out behind him.

  “I wouldn’t count on
it.” He heard the professor mutter darkly behind him.

  Kieron gulped down the panic bubbling in is throat.

  What the hell does that mean?

  GO TO CHAPTER THREE

  Three

  Hellish Results

  Kieron yelped and jumped back as the contents of his bathroom cabinet exploded out of it and onto the floor. He didn’t jump back far enough. Several light boxes bounced off the top of his head before tumbling onto the floor.

  He frowned and rubbed his head before kneeling down and plucking one of the boxes off the white tiles.

  What the hell is all this crap?

  He stared at the little black box, and his eyes widened in horror. The word ‘Stud’ was emblazoned across the front of box in garish yellow.

  “What the fu—” He started to mutter, but was cut short by the sound of a terrifying scream echoing downstairs in Castle Lascher.

  He narrowed his eyes and stood up.

  My goddamn mother!

  He opened the box and peered inside. It was filled with little foil packages, which he suspected were condoms. He rubbed his eyes and dropped the box onto the bathroom counter beside the sink.

  I can’t believe she filled my bathroom cabinets with fucking condoms.

  He was painfully aware that his mother wanted to see him grow up to be a sexually deviant demon, but this was going too far. Was it too much to ask for a nice girl? Sure, he was fifteen and getting older every day, but he didn’t want to date a trollop.

  He shook his head. It was all about keeping up appearances for his mother. She wanted to brag at her next bridge game about how many girls Kieron had slept with.

  He stared at his reflection in the mirror. His blue eyes were still widened in shock.

  Fucking condoms!

  He shook his head and knelt down to scoop up the fallen boxes before shoving them all back into the bathroom cabinet and slamming the door shut.

  He’d been worrying about his exam results all week, and this was the last thing he needed. He already felt pressured to be something he wasn’t, but now he was expected to date a skank just to keep his mother happy.

  It wasn’t that he didn’t like girls. He liked them a bit too much by Hell standards. He wanted to be in love and meet a nice one. Was that an unreasonable thing to want?